12-Year-old Wants to Quit Boy Scouts

Talk to the Troopmaster before you make any decisions. Have him tell the Troopmaster his reluctance to stay in the troop. If you can't meet with the Troopmaster, any of the adult leaders should be more than willing to meet with him. Hopefully that will make a difference.

If he needs to take a 'break', this is the perfect time of year to do so. A few weeks away may be what he needs. However, if in the end, he really doesn't want to do it, don't make him. But you are right, he needs to be involved in something that promotes leadership skills, offers community involvement, achievements, pride, etc.

He is at that age he isn't going to want to do stuff on the weekends and become more social. He can do that WITH Scouts. As you already know, they only camping once a month and they do not have to go to all of them - same with the meetings. My boys have been in it for 9 years and both have wanted to quit at different times but they are glad they have stayed in it.

I remember going through the ranks of Girl Scouts, Brownies, juniors, etc. Then when I got to middle school, around age 12, I started to hate it. My mom forced me to continue it and I really resented it. From what I understand, it takes a lot of work to be an Eagle Scout, and you really need to love it. I understand your frustration with him not wanting to do the work--my 9 yo is the same way--but at the same time, if he doesn't like it, then I wouldn't force him to continue. It sounds like it is more your dream than his. What is he interested in? There are so many other things out there that he could try-sports, karate, drama, music, gymnastics, swimming. Have him pick something else to try and find his passion.

EC activities are supposed to be fun. If it isn't, then there's really no reason to continue. YOUR desire to see him make Eagle Scout is irrelevant if HE doesn't want it for himself.

Let him stop going, there is no point in forcing a group on him he no longer enjoys. See if there are any sports or art groups or something like that he can try out.

That's too bad he wants to quit; I hope he changes his mind. My son went thru it all and is an Eagle Scout!! Something he is very proud of; and so am I. I totally get what he's saying, especially about the meetings being lead by the boys; drove my son nuts!!! But being the leader made them a lot less boring and he took it very seriously; unlike several of the other boys. I saw too many parents doing the activities for their sons and pushing the boys when you could see they weren't into it.

If he's still not sure of what to do, you might mention to him that having "Eagle Scout" on a resume might mean getting a step ahead of the next guy that doesn't have that. Also, point out how many astronauts are Eagles. Mike Rowe from "Dirty Jobs" is an Eagle. Lots of very well known, and very successful people are Eagles.

So, to answer your question, yes, I think it's very important he continue BUT only if HE wants to (which I hope he does!).

Good luck!!!!

I was in Girl Guides when I was a kid, but when I was 12 I felt like it was too childish. Instead I joined the Air Cadets, which certainly offered leadership skills, community involvment, pride etc. I stayed in Air Cadets from the age of 12 until I graduated at 19. I am in Canada, I don't know if you have Air, Army or Sea Cadets there, or aomething like it.

Can he join another troop ? I know that they all vary and maybe a new one....possibly one more structured...is what he needs. I know in phx, you don't have to go to one near you...

Since his problem with this group s that it is lead by the boys... Maybe speak with the troop master about having the meetings a bit more structured..

I can imagine 12 year old boys can be easily distracted and need some guidance or at least approval of their plans before the meetings.

I know our daughter would have hated disorganization and feeling like she was having her time wasted.

Hi K.,
Actually, I love Boy Scouts, is a very good activity for children and teens for different reasons. I understand you very well. It would be a good idea to talk to his leader, Troop Master or someone else and let him know your concerns. My kid is 12 and a Boys Scout also, and he loves going to the camp outs and every single activity, but he doesn't like too much the meetings either, however he keeps participating. My husband and I found out these meeting to be very boring and without too much to do except prior to a camp out; so, we encouraged our kid to talk to the Scout Master and participate him his questions, concerns, suggestions and ideas, (my husband and I were with him). Surprisingly we learned that many parents were talking about the same; so the structure of the meetings changed and now they do lots of things more fun and interesting.
Try once more and then decide, may be it is the reason he wants to quit and may be not. I think Boy Scouts is an excellent way for the kids to learn accountability, leadership, working hard for their goals, etc; however, he needs, himself, to figure it out. Let him participate in this conversation with the Scout Master.

If they have Sea Scouts in your area, would he be interested in something like that?

You might also contact the Boy Scouts of America HQ and ask if they have any solutions that might make a difference in the way your son's troop is conducted.

I like the Scouts too, but my son decided to stop about the same age as yours. He turned out just fine and I think the time he did spend with the Scouts was a part of it.

Sorry, haven't read all answers so I hope this isn't a repeat, but:

See if you can get him an older scout (not an adult leader, a responsible and interesting and active teenager) as a mentor and let that boy take him to THEIR meetings and activities and talk to him about what lies ahead if your son stays in Scouting. Find an older troop that is doing some very cool stuff, or a boy who is doing an interesting and engaging Eagle Scout project. Let your son see for himself that Scouting is what HE makes of it, not what his troop makes of it; it's about the activities, not the meetings.

And yes, do tell his scoutmaster or troop leader or whatever it's called -- tell that adult that your son is bored and needs more responsibility and activities or Scouting will lose him! Any GOOD leader will jump to it and try to keep your son on board. Because if he's bored, other boys will be too.

It's very telling that your son is a natural leader but wants out of Boy Scouts, which is exactly where natural leaders belong. There are surely other parts of scouting that will keep him on board. I don't know about Boy Scouts but in Girl Scouting it is not against any rules to change troops if your current troop is just not working for your child!

I note you mention camping. I know many Boy Scout troops camp and camp and camp but is it possible he just really needs other kinds of activity? I find camping boring as well, after a while. If the troop is about nothing but camping plus disorganized meetings that have no specific activities -- I would find another troop with more organization and more imagination about activities.

I hope he finds a place for himself in Scouting (I am a GS leader and very pro-scouting for both girls and boys) but if he cannot, get him involved in some form of volunteering -- library page, something at your place of worship if you are so inclined, school programs like Lego Robotics or Odyssey of the Mind or Science Olympiad etc. etc. -- something with a team aspect as well as individual excellence. Oh, and ban the word "bored" from your home. We don't allow it. If something a child is doing is "boring" the question is: What can you as the participant do to get more out of it, rather than waiting to be "un-bored" by someone else's efforts?

You might try to encourage him to give it until next year before he quits, just to see if it is just this particular year he dislikes.

I would go on the website and see what excitings things are ahead.

Last, I would remind him that he didn't care much for [blank], but now he enjoys it.

I remind my daughter that she will learn different things in school before she knows it, if she studies. I tell her if I try to put on ice skates without going to Tots (class level 1), I will fall on my face.

Give him a deadline. He has to go for one more month. If at the end of the month he wants to drop out, fine. However, he should have another activity that you approve lined up.

Maybe you would like to give him a time table. Like at the end of the year there's going to be the big camp out and awards ceremony. If you're still unhappy you can start a new activity then. It's a always good to have a sport or activity. If he wants to quit. He should have a new plan of what to do next. I feel a sense of completion is important. Quitting is ok if you are not happy. But somehow if you have a goal of say, making it to the end of the year activity. It seems a lot less like quitting. :)

Ours is also a "boy lead troop" and meetings can be very un-structured. My son is 14 and has always gotten along well with kids a little younger than he is, so he does well with the newer Scouts. My suggestion to you is to look into a Den Chief position with a Cub Scout Den. My son is the Den Chief for his younger brother's Den and really enjoys it. Your son will get the leadership experience he needs for advancement while helping out with some younger Scouts. He does need to be a 1st Class or higher rank.

Good Luck,

M.

(We are currently having to push my son to get going on his Eagle project because once high school starts he'll have less and less time to devote to it.)