12 Month Old Shrieker

hi~
He sounds so cute! Congrads on being a mommy! I have five kids and at this age, they are discovering they have a voice and know how to use it! Just remind him to use an inside voice and that when he in wide open places he can scream all his wants. They need to be reminded where to use that big voice. Hope that helps! he might do it on the plane also because he is going to get lots of attention for doing it and others will notice him. That is one reason they do it. Maybe reading books on the plane would help or getting him up early that morning so he is tired and will sleep? Hope you have a nice flight!

D.

Hi,
I agree with those that say you need to squelch the squealing fast. I have a two year old and she has always been told that screaming is NOT OK. It is miserable to be around screaming kids and shocking to me that so many parents ignore it and make others put up with it. Firmly let your child know that it hurts your ears and bothers other people and is not OK. Lead by example and use hushed voices yourself. Practice ahead of time -at the library, grocery store, restaurant... Take lots of books and quiet toys (new, if you can)and snacks on the airplane to keep him distracted.

I've been on both sides of the loud baby issue. My daughter had an ear-spilling squeal that she would sometimes employ in public, and I've been on planes and buses with painfully loud kids who would not be silenced by their anxious and embarrassed parents. It can be difficult for everyone involved.

I'm thinking it might be wise to assume that your son will do at least some shrieking on the flight, and purchase a few packages of those inexpensive foam earplugs. Hand them out with a smile and an apology to nearby passengers early in the flight. You'll demonstrate that you're a mom who actually cares about the behavior and is doing her best, which could result in your fellow travelers being more patient and sympathetic than angry.

This might seem a hard thing to do if you're a shy person, but you can do it if you picture yourself as a favorite movie character with lots of confidence. And I'll bet you'll see smiles, which is a nice gift to bring to any situation.

My Dad din't allow it with us, inside or out! He told us that he was wooried that we were hurt and should he call the police or ambulance. Of course we were older at that point. But I don't allow it with any kids that I am around either. And now I am teaching my own daughter how to control her volumn. You can play loud & soft voice games, and also try distracting him by laughing in different tones and volumns. My dad does this with her too and she loves it. ha ha ha - ho ho ho - he he he - hu hu hu and any other silly laughing sound you can think of. This works really well when the little one is out of sorts in public, they think you are going to react one way and then you start laughing - don't stop until your son laughs too! People around you will stare, but it is okay because they are surprised at how well you responded and the screeming has stopped. And laughing is fun for everyone and makes you feel good to hear a baby laugh. You can also find a special toy that he likes and take it out just for those special occasions in public when you need it. We found a "baby einstien" lizard or something that goes "Blaaa" when you squeeze its belly and she just giggles. Have a fun flight!!!

Chances are pretty good you're not going to be able to get this dealt with before your trip, but you should ignore the shrieks. My guess is that you give him a reaction most times he lets out a shriek. A gasp. A laugh. Telling him he's SO loud. Covering your ears. He's thrilled because he can get you to DO something. That's amazingly exciting for a little guy. (Plus, it's pretty cool to be able to make loud noises.)

When he shrieks, don't give him ANY reaction at all. Pretend that you didn't hear a single thing. He'll start looking for something new to catch your attention, because babies LOVE LOVE LOVE attention! Look for something else he does or says and give him a STRONG positive reaction for that. ("Uh oh" was the favorite in my house - it's cute and isn't nearly as loud as a shriek!)

I would nip it in the bud just as fast as it has started. Tell him "NO", use your inside voice. They understand. My son likes to do it in public places where it ECHOS. It sounds cool to them. But it is not exceptable....catch 22. You hold the reigns - remember that. Good luck on your flight.

I think it's great that you recognize that his shrieking is a natural sign of excitement and joy of life, and that you aren't trying to squelch it. You could play games with him where you shriek together and then whisper together, to help him begin to learn that shrieking is ok sometimes in some places and not so good at other times and places. Maybe you could even set up specific shrieking places and whispering or quiet places, so that he could begin to understand the difference and learn to modulate his behavior. You could also play with him about other quieter ways of showing excitement, like bouncing, arm waving, clapping hands, singing, that would be more appropriate for airplane travel. He is, however, only a year old, and may not be quite ready to make these distinctions. I wonder too, if you've been trying to hush him sometimes, whether he might shriek even more as a response? I think it might be good to allow him to shriek fully as long as he wants, as long as you are in a time and place where it is ok, to get it out. Also I think it's important to pay careful attention to how you have been interacting with him, to make sure that you aren't encouraging the shrieking too much by your reaction - he may be shrieking more in order to get a reaction from you rather than from just his own joy - which I think should be discouraged, unless you are clearly playing a game with him and helping him to learn the difference. You could also play with a game of screaming into a pillow, which, if he enjoys it, might work well on the plane. And as far as the airplane goes, I personally as a passenger would not have a problem with listening to a happy excited baby - I think it may actually make many people's day to see and hear his joy on the airplane! (to brighten up an otherwise boring ride). There may of course be some people who are having a bad day or who have had to squelch their own and/or their children's aliveness so much that they might not fully appreciate his, and who might judge you as a bad mother for not keeping him quiet, but there will always be people like that and you can't let their response affect you too much, but rather you could seek to be compassionate with them (and offer earplugs!). I think most people would be understanding because he's only a year old (might be less so if he were 3). And it's not at all the same as listening to a crying baby, which is much harder to hear, but even with crying I think most people are compassionate and understanding and would not blame the parents. So I'd say continue to enjoy your happy boy, and continue to encourage him to freely express his feelings, helping him to gradually learn when and where such expression is socially ok.

Man, my daughter could make peoples ears hurt with her shrieks of excitement at that age. You just have to be consistent. At that age they don't get "inside voices" so it really helps to get them calmed down. We had to just discourage it any time (inside or out) because she didn't yet understand when it was fine and when it wasn't. The hardest was when she was with other kids. One would do it then they would all start up and it was impossible to calm everyone back down. They get so excited about things! Once in awhile she'll still try to scream (she's 2 1/2) but she now knows that it's not cool when we're inside and she's even had to go to timeout for it. Be consistent and keep him busy on the flight. I'm sure he'll do fine. :-)

A friend told me that she would bring a box of earplugs and a package of chocolates to pass out to their fellow passengers, which helped to alleviate the stress for everyone involved. Happy travels!

Hi!
I first took my son on a plane at 16 months old. He was wanting to be "on the go" and was into everything! I sat at the very back of the plane and wrestled him for the whole two hour flight. He was very vocal and screamed a lot! I did the best that I could to distract him with books and toys. I'll never forget the evil stare that a man sitting about 5 rows in front of me turned around and very purposefully gave me--can you believe it? Anyway, the flight staff was really nice to me and did their best to accomodate me. I don't really have any advice for you, but just know that anyone who has ever traveled with a small child will certainly understand if your little one is noisy. Best of luck to you!

That is a tough one...Is your flight at night so that he can sleep? That could be helpful. Maybe try to keep him from taking a nap before the flight so that he will be really tired.

It sounds like it is a phase that he will pass through. Of course that does not help with this flight.

Um, maybe take a lot of toys and snacks in your carry on so that he will be really busy. Or, even though not everyone is in to TV time for kids, during a flight it can be distracting for kids and keep them occupied. A lot of airports offer DVD players and movies that you can rent. Does he use a pacifier, maybe that would help.
Maybe chewy toys if he likes that.

Maybe you could make a game out of it. See if he can "catch" his scream in a pillow or a cup. That could muffle the sound. Or you could remind him to be a "mouse" when he wants to scream. Tell him how they are very quiet and use little noises when they are excited. Or he could do "air" screaches by mouthing a sreach without making the noise.

That is about all I can think of. Good luck! And congrats on your new bundle of joy!

P.S. if you nurse him you might consider doing it during take of and landing to help with popping ears. I did that with my child and it seeemed to work. Or take a sippy cup with a straw in it and let him drink that during take off and landing.

J

Dogs understand how to be quiet, I'm sure a one year old can understand it. Just lightly put your hand over his mouth and in a soft voice and a straight face, say no, and whisper, use your soft voice. Shhh's and whatever you would do to an older child. He will get it, but start now so that he starts learning before your flight. We had a friend that let her daughter scream like that and just made a face like that was what they had to put up with at that age. We couldn't understand that. They don't have to scream.... our boys never did that. Kids have to be trained in social behavior, They aren't born with it.