2 1/2 Year Old Suddenly Fearful

My now 3.5 year old has many fears as well. He's funny too because the way he seems to deal with them is to become completely obcessed with the feared thing. Right now it's wolves, cows, fire fighting, loud construction trucks and sharks. He plays one of these thing all the time and wants to read about them and watch shows concerning these things. But he expresses fear and has nightmares about them too. Keeping him from them doesn't seem to help. Playing them out seems therapeutic for him. It does disrupt his going to bed at night some times.

Hi D.,

My 8 year old son still has many many fears. He started being fearful around the age of 2 or so. I feel it's because they have a very vivid imagination and the world is finally becoming real to them at that age. As they get older their fears do start to diminish because they realize that some of the things they fear can't hurt them. Example: my son at one point LOVED the movie "Monsters Inc". He used to watch it everyday, then one day he got scared from it so we didn't watch it for quite a while (probably 2 years) until he was old enough to realize it was just a movie and it couldn't hurt him. He then was not afraid from it anymore. He is still very fearful of any bugs, ghosts, and the dark.

So, yes they do gradually grow out of most of their fears, but it is a looooong tiresome road.

L.

I'm glad you posted this so that I don't feel alone. My 2 1/2 year old is the same way. Things he's had in his room since birth are suddenly scary, and we have to take them out. He's also started waking up with nightmares occasionally. I don't have any good suggestions. I just wanted you to know it seems pretty common. I'm hoping it's a phase that doesn't last too long!

In addition to scaling down the tv/movie/invasive imaging, and upping the personal one on one reading/gameplaying/outside, you could consider a cleanse of your environment.

Little children can be more sensitive to things around them. He could be seeing something you don't that could truly scare him and indeed be there.
You could easily cleanse your home removing energy that could be attracted to him. Just remember to open a window when doing so.

Smudging has been used by the Chinese and native American's for 1000's of years. Just google smudging or white sage. Here is a c/p clip:
"Smudging is the common name given to the sacred smoke bowl blessing. A powerful cleansing technique from the Native North American Tradition. Smudging calls on the spirits of sacred plants to drive away negative energies and restore balance. It is the art of cleansing yourself and your environment using simple ritual and ceremony. For thousands of years smudging has been a part of Native American
tradition but now its power of cleansing is available to everyone."

This is just a typical stage. Keep comforting him and reassuring that everything is fine. If you downplay it more you won't be feeding into it.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
Chat and events, within 2 hour radius

He's sensitive. Don't draw attention to it. When things he's afraid of are in the room, act natural. Don't reinforce the fears.

We have a 8yo friend who must sleep with the light on. Don't let him keep a big light on.

At his age... autonomy versus doubt. Give him anything to do that he CAN do, and master, and help him feel confident in other areas. Chores. Putting away towels from the laundry, putting out the spoons and forks. If you're in the yard, hand him a rake. Anything that helps him know that he can do things on his own.

But yes... could be a long road.

His imagination is strong! it is a phase and he will soon want to know much more about what he used to fear....He may become an eye doctor.....LOL.....

Don't be too freaked out. My son is also 2 1/2 and he states on a regular basis that Grandma scares him. This is favorite Grandma and he absolutely loves her and can't wait to see her. He is "scared" of other things too but it varies on a weekly basis. Your son sounds perfectly normal. Have a great day and I hope this relieves some of your worries.

My son, who is also 2 1/2 just started doing the same thing. The only thing I could guess was that he saw his sisters playing and is imitating them. I try to play it off like it is funny or I ignore it. I don't want to pay too much attention to the behavior and thus reinforce it. So, when he says "Mommy - scawy" I say - in a funny voice - " ohh... no its not, its just a blanky" and I play with him with whatever he was afraid of, or I ignore it. So far, it seems to be working. I have also asked my older girls to not pretend to be afraid in front of him.

I think it's a normal stage. When they are younger, they don't really understand what it is to be "afraid" and in the two's, it starts making sense. Just explain "what" is making the shadows, etc. and try to de-mystify it a little for him. It will pass.

I'm going through it now with my 2 1/2 yr old. It started about 2 months ago and he seems to be growing out of it now. It has taken some patience and some respect of his fears, but it has gotten better. I don't have much advice except to be patient, turn off the scary parts of movies or don't watch them right now at all, and give extra reassurance that you love him and will do whatever you can to keep him safe.

I have found that the graphics in movies and on TV can sometimes be too real for children, even for those children we as society typically think of as being old enough to watch these kinds of shows and movies. If the older children want to watch something that is too graphic for your 2-1/2 yr old, I would have him distracted in another room or allow it only while he naps.

I would try keeping the TV and movies turned off for a few weeks, limiting him to only things like Sesame Street and other not-so-graphic images, when TV is necessary. After a few weeks, you should see a difference in his current fears - and will also be able to see if any new fears develope and where else they might also be coming from.