3 Year Old Bedtime Nightmare

Updated on February 25, 2008
R.H. asks from Clarksville, TN
19 answers

For the past year and a half we have had the same bedtime routine. We read some books, brush our teeth, say our prayers, and then get into bed. Our son screams and throws a fit for atleast an hour everynight. We still follow the routine and keep putting him back in his bed, but this is getting very old! Please help!

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L.S.

answers from Little Rock on

Try giving him a warm bath and let him have some fun toys. This seems to really help my children get relaxed. Good luck.

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A.M.

answers from Charlotte on

Don't know if this will help. My son was having trouble putting himself to sleep and didn't start sleeping through the night until he was three. He loves spiderman so we bought him a real cool spiderman light and told him spiderman would keep him safe. We delt with monster in the closet issues with him, too. He will be six in March and sleeps wonderful with no problems.

A. M

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L.D.

answers from Greenville on

R., I understand what your going through. My son is doing the very same thing. He says he is afaid of Tigers! This has helped us...someone gave him their old sleeping bag and he loves sleeping in it.(not sure why) We give him a bath, books...prayers..and then we put him in it! I am not sure why this has helped us but it's working. Now, he did 4 nights in his own bed (HUGE DEAL) but the 5th is woke up in the middle of the night. The 6th night he didn't get up. I think it's gonna take some time but this has helped up! I think it makes bedtime FUN for him.

You will get through this...

1 mom found this helpful
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K.W.

answers from Knoxville on

Hi, R.. My son is also 3. We had the same problems as you when he was 2. We tried everthing. We ended up taking turns sitting beside his bed until he went to sleep. That still took an hour or so. We also have two older girls. We put Micheal with the younger one and from the first night he went right to sleep. Apparently, he just needed to feel close to someone in order to go to sleep peacefully. About 6 months ago, we put him back in his own room and he's been fine. He still gets out of bed a couple times every night but no more screaming. I don't know if this helps but I do understand your frustration. Be patient. It will not always be this way. Consistency is key and it sounds like you know that!

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K.P.

answers from Fayetteville on

I don't know if I am the only one who has suggested this or not, but on the SuperNanny show, she suggests that you follow your routine, give hugs and kisses, say your prayers, and then you say goodnight. If they get up after you have tucked them in, you tell them it is time for bed and you love them and put them back in bed. Then she says if they get up a second time, you say nothing to the child, and put them back in bed. And if they continue to get up, you say nothing and continue to put them back in their bed. That technique sure has proven to work on the show, but I know it gets tiresome and old, but if you stick with it, the work will pay off!! Good luck!

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T.W.

answers from Hickory on

I believe being consistent with your routine is definitely the right thing to do. I tried letting my daughter lay down by herself, sitting beside her bed, and everything else and experienced the crying, screaming, and all. I finally gave up and started laying down in bed beside her and she would go right to sleep. It took some time every night, but I felt it was a better alternative then listening to her cry and carry on every night. When she got used to having us with her, we've gradually let her lay by herself with no crying. We also have a 2 year old and I do the same thing for him now and we have avoided the hour long fights to get him to sleep. He usually goes down in less then 10 minutes. Such a difference than she did. I know that some people do not recommend laying down with kids, but that is what works for us and I actually enjoy the quiet time with the kids. WHatever we have to do to get some sleep sounds good to me too!.
Good luck.

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J.J.

answers from Louisville on

I have three year-old and when we switched him to a toddler bed he cries and gets up everynight now. I don't know what to tell you except that the same thing happens at our house anywhere from 1/2 hr -2 hrs. everynight. We tell him to not get up and keep taking him cback. Hopefully it will get better. I think it may be the age and trying to test you and see what he can get way with. Good Luck. Post a solution if you find one that works!

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B.K.

answers from Jacksonville on

Just wanted to say..it may not only be a power struggle. If your kiddo is getting too much or too little sleep this could be affecting his bedtime. If you put him to bed when you see him getting sleepy it may already be too late. If he is not tired...try giving him a bath with the lavender baby bath, and find a stuffed animal he can have only at bedtime. I sing to my son everynight...and boy did we have bedtime issues before that. But he knows he gets about 15 minutes of tv after his bath and then I sing and he stays in his bed quietly most nights. Also, my husband use to use his stuffed "friends" each night and we had a say goodnight to friends routine...he would say who each friend was and give them a kiss and tuck them in with him. Just my 2 cents

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K.C.

answers from Nashville on

What I always do with my children is tell them not to worry, nobody is here at night and let them sleep in my bed until it stops. Tell me if you do that R. or if you dont.

K. C.

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A.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi R.,
I'm sorry your son is having a tough time.My advice may be different than other people's.....When one of my children (I have 2,12 and 6) has a change like this,or a problem with something as easy as bedtime,my first thought is to wonder how this child is feeling? First decide if this is a power struggle-or is he genuinely upset? I practice AP (attachment parenting.) I find that so many times when a kiddo has these problems a few more minutes of cuddling or just validating his feelings really is all that is needed to calm things down.Also,what about a CD of bedtime stories to listen to as he drifts off?Sometimes just the introduction of something new and cool does a world of good! We never had these problems as we practiced co-sleeping.Maybe that would work for your family? Good luck and hang in there,Mama!

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A.M.

answers from Fayetteville on

My three year old had a really hard time falling asleep while he was still taking an afternoon nap, and the days when he does take a nap, we do have bedtime issues. So I cut the nap and put him to bed a half hour earlier and it has helped. All thought it was rough for a few days while he was getting used to not taking a nap, we replaced it with quiet time on the couch with stories or a movie.
We also give him one "pass" per night. He can get out of bed once for water or potty, but then has to stay in bed. We got him a new lamp that he likes to have on, and I have threatened to turn it off if he gets out after he uses his pass . (the hall light is on, and the door is open, so there is still plenty of light in his room) And finally he got to pick out new sheets and a blanket for his bed and so he loves to crawl into his Spiderman sheets and cover up with Mickey Mouse and turn his Cars lamp on. So as you can see, we've tried many different things. I hope this helps.

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A.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

hello my daughter was about 4 when she started having night mares about spiders she was so freaked out.... i did not know what to do.. my aunt came up with the perfict idea a magic pillow.. sew a pillo together and stuff it with plastic bags to scare away all night time things and the magic pillow goes under the regular pillow a.d every night we have to rattle the pillow to scare every thing away lol

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J.K.

answers from Memphis on

Hey R.,
I just went through this with my 3 year old. It is a control thing. My son also liked to get a reaction out of us. The only thing that worked is ignoring him. He knew if he screamed and made lots of noise he would get lots of attention. So we made sure all his needs were met, going potty and poopoo, drink of water, saying good night to everyone, reading a book, etc..... Basically taking any excuses he could use away. We closed the door and let him scream. Yes it was very hard at first. Be strong, go outside if you have to. But by the third night it wasn't fun for him anymore. He doesn't do it any more. It is worth a try.

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J.K.

answers from Greensboro on

Dear R., i am not sure of your son's sleep routine. Does he still take a nap, is he already tired when you are putting him to bed? Try putting him down 15-30mins earlier. When I had my second child I had sleep problems. Someone introduced me to a book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child". It was great and I only read what was age appropriate at the time. I hope you find an answer soon. Sometimes they go through phases and we can't explain why.

Good Luck, J.

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L.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi R.! I read the advise from the other moms and think you should try to incorporate some of their really great suggestions. You may also want to take a look at his daily schedule. Is he still taking a nap? Are you trying to lay him down too early? If so he may simply not be tired when you lay him down at night. A good friend of mine was having the same problem with her 3 year old son. She moved his bedtime back an hour and he had no problems getting to sleep. Good luck to you and your husband!

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J.I.

answers from Johnson City on

We read a book, brush teeth, potty and then we let our daughter take a book to bed with her AND a children's flashlight....she thinks it's a special treat!
J.
Mom-of-two

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V.W.

answers from Wheeling on

I suggest Take away any scary things in his room. Take care of what he watches on TV. Any kind of emotional stuff that would put a fear in the mind. Could be setting him off to a traumatic night. Talking about scarry things or what he is hearing. I would pray Lord give my dear son a peace of mind when he sleeps at night. I hope that will help. God bless

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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G.C.

answers from Knoxville on

All you have to do is lay down with him, rub his back & he will soon be asleep. And if this doesn't work, sing a lullaby very softly, not loud, & with the rubbing of his back he will be snozzing before you know it. Also, if you, fall asleep, your husband can wake you.

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