4 Year Old Hides to Poop

Very, very common, and completely normal. It is just part of the process for some kids. My ods was completely pee trained for 10 months, wore underwear, but would ask for a pull-up to poop. I didn't worry about it as I would rather deal with a dirty pull-up then poopy pants! Eventually, I started having him help me flush the contents and waving goodbye to them. The next step I tried was to have him stand in the bathroom to poop-hard for you since she is hiding it but if you can talk to her about it calmly and explain that it's okay for her to use a pull-up but that she needs to ask you to put it on and then she must go into the bathroom, because that is where we poop. We don't poop in the living room, etc. Once my son was pooping in his pull-up in the bathroom, I made a chart with a prize for him to earn once completed. He was to poop in the potty 5 times then he could earn it. It took a little while but he finally did it. Once he did it once, I think he just caught on quick and never had another pull-up.
Don't sweat it. It will pass however you go about it.

Ditto to SH

Only thing I'd add is my daughter, who had the same issue, turned out to have dairy intolerance which likely made her stool very hard and scratchy, painful to move.

I guess I'd also like to say it will not scar your child for life to need a pull up or diaper a little longer than average, but it WILL scar her for life to be punished and shamed for it.

:)

OMG. My oldest daughter used to do the same thing!!! I wish I could rememeber what we did with her. She is 14 now. I do know that she was potty trained before we put her in school though. She took forever to train!! She would take all her clothes off (minus the diaper or pullup) and stand in a corner to poop. She will eventually catch on. Good luck!

MANY MANY kids do that.
Its a transition.

ALSO, constipation, from holding it in, is not good. My daughter did that and we then had to take her to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist.
IF constipation and holding in their poop is not remedied... it can... lead to "Encopresis." Which is an involuntary 'leaking' of poop.... because the bowels are blocked and the poop gets hardened internally. Not good.
The Specialist told us everyday he sees kids in this state with this problem. He said, do not force a kid to poop... all in the name of toilet training. He said, holding in poop, intentionally, is not good. And it is then a 'emotion based' problem AND a medical problem. Which leads to other internal problems and pain, upon pooping etc. So he said, if a kid needs to poop, let them poop, without guilt, even if in a diaper.
It is not forever.

It took my Daughter THREE months, to overcome this... the compaction of her hardened poop from constipation and the emotional aspect of not being afraid to poop... AND from the 'pain' constipation causes. Even if we did not force our daughter per toileting... she merely had anxiety and stress from the 'idea' of doing it in a toilet.

For my son, he actually got SCARED to poop, and seeing it in a toilet and actually felt it was a part of him.... going away. It really freaked him out.

They grow out of it.

All the best,
Susan

my son did the same exact thing... even when I was right there and said, do you have to go potty??? he'd say NO.. then go and hide and go in his pants.. he did this even after having gone in the toilet.. My son would hold it until he could no longer... Eventually, by about 4 3/4 he out grew it... I think it's a phase and it will pass..

It sounds like she's "holding" her poop and its getting dry and hurts her bum when it is time to go.
Make sure she's getting enough fiber and fluid to keep her stools soft.

4 years old... old enough to wash her poopy panties. I'd buy pretty/cute/fave cartoon character ones she likes, but I'd have her at a sink (on a step stool if necessary) washing out the poop! I remember my foster mom getting little 2 year old foster brother washing his, he stopped pooping inappropriately.

I agree with the previous poster who said that she needs to be cleaning it up. While she's cleaning herself and the undies, explain to her what she could be doing instead of cleaning undies (i.e. playing) and let her know that it takes a lot less time to just go on the potty than it does to clean up the mess. She is old enough to understand that concept. When my daughter did this, I would just put her in the tub and give her some wipes and tell her to clean herself up. I would have to go behind her and make sure she was fully cleaned, but I let her suffer through the worst of it first (she hated having her hands dirty and boy were they dirty when she had to clean up poop!).

Now, this is all assuming she has no medical issues that are causing the problem. My daughter simply didn't want to stop playing and would tell me that when she would poop in her underwear, so I knew it wasn't a physical issue. AND, this all started about 3 months AFTER she was FULLY trained! She didn't have a single accident at all for 3-4 months and then started going in her pants again, so I knew she could do the right thing and was choosing not to. Good luck with this. It was horribly frustrating for all of us, but she eventually got the hang of it again when I told her that we would take her to the movie store to pick out a movie to rent AND get ice cream if she was clean and dry for 5 days. Then, we gradually stepped down the rewards once she was going on the potty again. Hope you find what works!

I would suggest you try to tackle one problem at a time. Put pull ups on her at night and work on the poop issue first. I know it's gross, but my mom took care of kids for years and trained several of them - when they pooped in their pants, she took them to the bathroom and made them wash out their own underwear in the toilet. Again, I know it's gross, but it worked every time! Just be sure her hands are washed well afterwards. As for staying dry at night, both of my kids eventually outgrew it, but my nephew is 9 and still has night-time accidents periodically. I wouldn't be too concerned with that at this point. Good luck! I know that potty-training is difficult - definitely not my finer motherhood moments, for sure! =)

These are all great responses. My little boy starting doing this too a year or so ago and it was very frustrating for everyone. What worked for him was a couple of things...1) We explained to him that what was most important was that the poop came out as soon as it needed to and it didn't matter how it came out...what was important was that it came out and that if he needed to be cleaned up that he tell us right away and that we'd help him get his body clean...no punishment or raising our voices, just lots of love and letting him know that keeping himself clean and getting the poop out (however it came out) was most important. 2) When he would sit on the potty we'd talk to him (in basic terms) about how his body worked. How he'd chew up the food with his teeth, that it would travel down to his tummy, that it would get squished & mooshed around, etc.,etc. and that eventually all of the 'garbage' stuff left over from his food that could not be used to help his body grow would come out as poop. I think associating poop with garbage helped him become more comfortable with getting it out of his body versus keeping it in. He was fascinated about how the body worked and LOVED to hear about how the poop would 'plop' 'plop' 'plop' into the potty when his body was done with it. Who knows if this will work for you, but doesn't hurt to give it a try or at least have one more idea of what to talk about as you're cleaning up those yucky poopy pants! Good luck to you! :)

My son did that for a short time. I took him in the bathroom and stripped him down to his underwear. Then I put him in the shower. I made him clean both himself and his underwear. He told me it was yucky. I told him yes it is, and I won't clean it.it took about 3 times, but he decided that it was no fun cleaning himself and his underwear. Then we were done with that part. It was easier/quicker than fighting, argueing, or cleaning it myself all the time. As far as the night time training, I wouldn't worry too much. My daughter was using pullups until she was 4. When she woke up dry we moved to underwear and night and it was fine. Each kid is different and some take longer to train at night.

oh boy have I been in your shoes.... my daughter was four and did the same thing, she would even ask for a diaper so she could poop then run behind the couch to do it. Then come right back to get the diaper changed. We tried to get her to sit on the potty but she would scream and then say she didnt have to go....... but would use the potty for peeing. ( she was scared and then it hurt from the dry stools). Our doctor said not to worry she would go when she really had too...... well that was not the case, she ended up being impacted and we had to give her enemas twice a day and laxitives for 3 weeks to get things moving. She finally realized that she would not hurt so much if she just went and she learned what the feeling was like when she had to go (a lot of the times they dont realize the urge)
dont wait for it to get this bad.... get some phillips milkamagnesia and give it to her to get things going..... the specialist said it was safe and ok to use for a month or two to keep things soft. Its also more common in girls than boys. The stools may be runny but still hard inside, so helping to keep things going on a regular basis is really important. Hope this helps