5-Year Old Wants to Come into My Bed Every Night

I let all my kids sleep with me. I always put them to bed in their own bed but they always wondered in at night. Around 3.5 -4 I did charts and gave them a sticker for every morning they woke up in their own bed. My youngest however was not buying this. Nothing was working. I kept trying the chart system Finally he saw something at the store he really wanted. It was an angry bird. I bought it and put it up high. I told him he could have it when he got 6 stickers for sleeping in his own bed. 6 nights in a row he was in his bed. Night 7....back in mine. I told him that I would take the angry bird back and he hasn't been in my bed since.
Good luck.
:)

we co-sleep with all our kids and with the exception of ONE of our kids, they sleep quietly. The only one that sleeps on their own is the 1 year old. He never liked the bed and always is more comfortable alone in his crib, but I am sure that will change. Recently our 4 year old told us it was time for her to sleep in her own bed. Which was wonderful. 1 whole week she did it with no issues and never coming to us. Lately though after some problems at Pre-school she started waking up at 2:00 and 3:00am and coming back to sleep with me or dad. She states its cause shes cold or hears things. I dont think its either but that she misses the comforts of the family bed. Not sure really. I think its just a phase. You sound like your doing what you should, he will eventually get over it.
I know my mom must have been the most sleep deprived woman on the planet when I was 4. All my siblings were great sleepers in there own room and such, and me the crazy one, never was a good sleeper from birth. By the time I was 4 I had developed a medical phobia of airplanes crashing into our home. NEVER knew why it started but one thing was certain I didnt sleep at ALL except a few hours a day. At one point I didnt sleep at all for 3 days straight and had to be put on sedatives. I feel so bad what I did to my parents back then :( thankfully none of my kiddos have that)

Is anything going on at preschool/kindergarten/daycare or whatever program he's in, if he's in one? Any big transitions going on in his life? New teacher, difficult kids, different babysitter, change in daytime routine? Our 4 year old is really sensitive and his way of "telling us" something is up is often by racing into our bed at night. It sometimes takes a little while to nail down what is bothering him, but once we sort it out and talk it through, he's happy to stay in his own bed (and no tears!). Good luck - I appreciate how difficult it is to have a squirmy/kicking preschooler keeping you up at night. No one wins.

For the lighting situation we went to Spencer's and got my son a large lava lamp. When my son went through the phase of wanting all the lights on, we let him (just too warn out to fight it, I guess). And he slept, but I think the bright room was keeping him from getting a really deep sleep. He was a cranky mess during the days. We tried every night light we could think of. NOthing worked to soothe him. The lava lamp has worked really well. It's bright enough to light the whole room, but dim enough that it doesn't disrupt his sleep. When he wakes up and claims he can't sleep we always suggest watching the lava lamp.

As far as climbing into bed, just be consistent. Our son used to do this nightly and now it's an occasional thing. We tell him he can have one minute of cuddles and then it's back to bed. (Just make sure you don't dose off ;) ) We started by tucking him in each time and slowly weaned him off. We started "watching" him get into bed himself. Then it was just watch him leave our room and now he goes back by himself. Hang in there mama!

Really what it comes down to is you have to be consistent and firm.
We had this problem recently.
Have some conversations during the day about his fears.
Explain that he cannot sleep w/ you.
As horrible as it sounds I threatened to lock DD out of our room. Though I don't think I could have done it.
I only had to threaten a few times.
I wake up very easily-I'd wake up if she was standing in our doorway.
Then tell her to get back in bed. Some nights she would cry too. And I let her.
Does he have a nightlight?
Twilight Turtle has helped us.
Just be firm.
I am happy to report DD has not attempted to come in our room for several weeks now.
HTH! You can do it! :)

I know what you are talking about. We often find our 2 and 4 year old both in bed with us. We wouldn't mind except they kick and squirm all night long and no one gets any sleep. We have been doing exactly what you have and just lead them back to their room. We bought our 4 year old a digital clock and told her she has to stay in her room/ bed until it starts with a 7....and its working! I think explaining how you need sleep helps them understand. What about rewarding him for staying in his bed all night? We also did that with our 4 year old...if she stayed in bed all week until 7am she got to put a sticker on a chart, then she got to have a treat of her choice (a cupcake :) ).

We've had our trouble with this. Our son started doing this when he was about 4 or so and his imagination was exploding. Suddenly shadows were scary, there were monsters, etc... I would be willing to bet that his night waking has to do with anxiety from school. Sometimes it takes them a little while to get their legs under them with new expectations in the classroom. I would also talk to him about play at recess and see what he says about that. For my son, playing with kids more assertive and aggressive than him was fun, but also produced some scary stuff that he wasn't used to and didn't know how to handle.

I think what you're doing with taking him back to bed is the best thing you can do. Hopefully it won't turn in to an unconscious habit of waking, or even if it does he's learn that he won't get to come into your bed and he'll start putting himself back to sleep without bothering to come to you.

You might also try a dream catcher if he's complaining of bad dreams.

Good luck!!

I just move over and let the kid get some sleep. It doesn't last long and they are back in their own bed full time sleeping through the night.

That's about the time school started, right? Maybe that plays a part in this new behavior. Try some white noise in his room. If he's scared that will definately help.

Try to find out what he is scared of. Does he have a night light? A stuffed animal? It's very frustrating to get up and tuck him back in but keep doing it. He's testing boundaries. He needs to be in his own bed.

be strong walk him bck to be i did it till my dau was in kindergarten just to it she will out grow it maybe get some monster spray

How about you camp out in his bedroom? It's better for you to go to his bedroom than your, because you can leave his room when you feel he's asleep and there will be times you and hubby...well, you know. The other thing is that it is a lot harder getting a kid to stop sleeping in Mommy's/Daddy's than it is to have them sleep alone in their own bed when they are already in it. Another thing you need to do is to start teaching them how to do lucid dreaming, which involves helping them identify that the nightmare is just a dream and is not real.

My children are now almost 13 and 10....they both went through this "phase".....it will pass.....in the beginning I was a walking zombie with them sleeping in my bed, rolling around, kicking me all night.....then I decided NO!!!.....I decided my bed is "MY BED"......if you have a reason why you can't sleep in your own bed, you can sleep on the floor!!! I had blankets and pillows set up on the floor next to my bed for six months with each of them...they were allowed to leave their bed....come into my room and sleep on the FLOOR.....NOT IN MY BED!! They were not allowed to talk to me, or disturb my sleep.....if they did...they had to go back to their bedrooms.....with each of them, this phase lasted about six months...but they learned to go back to sleep on the floor where I had a blanket and pillow set up for them.....if they woke me up they went back to their rooms.....it IS a phase and it WILL pass!!! Good Luck!!!

If you are willing, I'd suggest setting up a sleeping bag on the floor of your room. Let him know that if he wakes up and is scared, he can quietly come in and get into the sleeping bag, but that if he wakes you or dad up, he will go back to his room and there will be a punishment the next day. Then follow through. This is normal for his age, but you do need to maximize your sleep, so if he can quietly go to sleep in the sleeping bag, it's not hurting anyone.