5 Year Old Is a VERY Picky Eater

Don't let him choose an alternative to what you have already fixed for a meal. He can eat it or go hungry. Save his plate and when he comes back and says he is hungry give it back to him. He will eat when he is hungry. If you continue to give him an alternative meal, he will continue it throughout his life. Besides, you know what is good for him and what is not. He should not be allow to choose something that is not good for him over the health meal on the table. I fix my kids plates and I put on it what I want them to eat in the amounts I think they are capable of eating. Seconds are allowed but only after you have cleaned your plate the first time. I have a rule in my house that you have to eat the fruit and vegetables on your plate before you leave the table. I don't care if you don't like it, eat it anyway. We did have some gagging and throwing up when I first made the rule, but now they just eat them and don't fuss. I am not such a sticker on the rest of the food on their plate, but they are not getting an alternative. If they come back hungry, they can finish their plate. If they did finish their plate then we can talk about a snack.

My MIL used to fix my husband alternative meals when he did not like what she fixed. After we got married he tried that on me. NO WAY!!! We are on a very tight budget and I can't afford to fix 2 meals to make you happy. You will learn to eat what is on the table. If I fix something you don't like, let me know and I will try not to fix it again. If you like something I fix, let me know so I can fix it in the future. But if it is on the table already, you will eat it or starve. My MIL still does this for my SIL who is 38. They can afford it, I can't.

Feed him small portions of everything you make. My kids absolutely MUST eat their vegetables, and everything else I put on their plate. Sometimes, I put a little bit of ranch dressing or light ceaser dressing (girad's is their favorite) to dip their cooked veggies in.

No snacks, no dessert, no toys or games or anything until they have at least taken 3 bites. I give them small portions, it looks less daunting on their plates, and I can almost always convince them to eat more when those portions are up (the second helping is followed by a bribe of chocolate milk after dinner or something).

They throw a fit, they go to time out. After that, I go and follow up with lots of positive reinforcement and invite them to sit back down at the table. I give them choices, like, "you can either eat 6 little bites, or 3 big bites, which is it?" If their food is cold, I heat it up and make it look nice and fresh on their plate again.

They usually go for the 3 big bites! Each and every night, they eat their dinner, and the rare times they don't they go to bed hungry... sometimes it's a struggle, put now they actually are starting to enjoy foods like asparagus, squash, zuchinni...

How I make those, is cut them up, put in a pot with a little bit of olive oil. I season with some salt, pepper and garlic powder and just a small dab of butter, then stir until crisp-tender.

To get them to eat other things, I add in fruit... like oatmeal, I add in lots of fresh fruit, with honey for sweetener and they love it.

I never make them 'kid food' to replace the adult food we are eating, and if they don't eat their meal, I don't make them anything later when they are hungry if they haven't eaten.

And just because they don't 'like' a food doesn't mean I stop putting it on their plate. It's been said it takes almost 13 times of exposure to food before a picky child will even try it, so keep offering it.

This is coming from a picky eater... who went days without eating, and the days I did eat, was maybe 2 or 3 bites of something and a glass of milk. I only began to eat when I was 11 years old, because I had the bone scan of a 7 year old and was threatened by my endocrinologist that if I didn't eat, I would be fed through iv (she was serious).

Also, be sure everyone in the family models good eating behavior. If he sees dad not eating veggies but grabbing a pizza instead, or drinking cola when he has to drink milk, then that is what he is going to do.

I am coming from a different perspective, as my child has autism and will NOT eat much either. I would choose your battles. Is it worth it to you? I want my child to eat the food that is good for her too, but she will not! We have worked with food therapist for long periods of time and nothing has worked. It may be that he has texture issues, or doesn't like the smell of something that is on his plate. It may seem silly to us, but other people simply can't handle certain things at all.. All of us want what is best for our kids!! Eating should be something that is enjoyable and fun. My little girl only eats maybe 10 different foods. Can you make him his lunch? Give him his preferred foods and maybe one non preferred and see if he will take one bite of the non preferred. See if you can find a food therapist to help you overcome this food "Jag" Best of luck to you. And try and look for the possitive in what he does eat! Protein and dairy is good! I know you want the veggies and fruit too, Me too, but just keep plugging away!

He's coming up to the age where the aversion (yuck/gag/spit) response is wearing off. It's a brain chemical thing that happens between apx age 2-5. In a nutshell, it takes all "new" chemicals (as in what all foods, poisons, rocks, everything organic on earth) and makes them smell and taste like as awful as dog poo. (The generally accepted theory is that kids start getting mobile and more independent around age 2, so those that had this response to things they put in their mouth lived, and those who didn't died... hence why most of humanity has this response for apx 3 years).

FORTUNATELY, this response wears off. BUT any food he's tried and hated during this period will probably be awful for the next 5-20 years. Sometime this year or next, however, he'll be able to try and like new things.

If you have children under the age of 2, DO try to avoid "baby" and "toddler" food and stick with just overcooking and grinding the food you eat every day. Most baby/toddler foods only have the same ingredients as the foods you listed, hence, why most kids will eat the same foods you listed.

In the meantime, don't stress hon! He's eating and he's getting all the nurtients he needs from his diet, it's just boring. Boring isn't the worst thing on the planet. :)

He won't die if he misses a meal. You really need to get control over this now. I have a friend whose son is in the fifth grade (10 years old) and he now has to see a psycologist to deal with similiar food issues. Feed him what you are eating, don't make special meals for him, and stick to it.

I also have an extremely picky eater, only he is seven. He won't eat any fruits or vegetables, and most entrees. The only way we get fruits and veggies in him is through juice. His list of approved foods is teeny tiny.

We've done the putting our foot down thing but then he'll chose not to eat at all. He hates eating to begin with, so that's doesn't work. We've also been told by the doctors to get him to gain weight, so having him not eat is not a good option.

What I did find that works is compromise. I did custom meals for years (exhausting) but stopped recently after I did it one time and he literally gave his custom meal a thumbs down. I realized I was stupid for having made him special meals so long. So, now I make our family meal. If he doesn't want that, HE makes his other meal. His go-to choice is saltine crackers with peanut butter. He makes a bunch of those and he's set.

Is it my ideal meal for him? No. But it's a sanity saver. The battles are over. The battles honestly never resulted in him eating the desired foods anyway. Just him storming off to his room after refusing to eat anything, us imposing punishments like time-out, lost TV time, etc. etc. Then trying bribery and positive encouragement, which also failed.

Good luck! I can really relate to your frustration.

Hi,

If he's unaffected by your follow through it's because you are using the wrong currency. If you are punishment-based, figure out what he really loves and then take that away. If he's motivated by rewards, then for every meal that he eats what you give him he gets a marble. Once he gets 5 marbles he gets whatever.....

Or you can do it the old fashioned way and simply stick to absolutely 100% consistent 'here is the expectation and here is what natural consequence will occur if you do not have this behavior' parenting. If he doesn't eat what is served, he doesn't eat. If he gets hungry he eats what is on his plate that you have put in the fridge. If he cries and throws a fit, he goes to (wherever). If he gets hungry you offer the plate of food for dinner. If he asks for something and then doesn't eat it, it is saved and that is what is offered for the next feeding because he asked for it and we don't waste food. etc etc.

It is really hard work to undo poor behavior, so you have your work cut out for you. You will be the most effective if you remove the emotion from YOU (which is way hard to do!).