Any Advice About Having More Children...

Myself my 3 youngest girls are all 2 years apart. My 4 year old and my 2 year old are 25 months apart, my 2 year old and my baby are 22 months apart. Shockingly there seems to be a huge difference! My 4 year old took to my 2 year old wonderfully and was the best sister I could have possibly asked for. However I experienced an insane amount of sibling rivalry between my 2 year and my baby. I actually have talked to quite a few parents who have had their children just a year or two apart, and most suggest that having at least 2 years apart is the best to avoid the sibling rivalry. Despite whatever sibling rivalry may exist though, I have found it a true gift to see all three of them grow together. They may fight and they may get jealous, but they have so much fun together, and are feircly protective of each other. Good Luck!

I'm 23 and my brother is 27, we're VERY close. My other sisters are 24 and 21 plus one brother at age 22, we are not close at all. I believe it depends entirely on what gender your second child will be. In sister/brother, the farther in age, the closer. In same sex siblings, the closer in age, more distant.

I'm not sure about others.

There are always pros and cons to that issue. My girls are 18 months apart. They are 5 and 3.5 now. At first it was a lot of work. But now they are best friends and play w/ each other all the time. I am very thankful they are so close in age.

I am the last of 9 kids, all in 11.5 years, so I grew up with lots of siblings, close in age, and futher apart. Siblings that are closer in age, while growing up, will play together, but they will also fight more. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't have had it any other way, especially now, I am closer to any of my siblings then I have ever been, and we look back with fondness to all of the things we did together growing up, even the fighting. Once kids are grown up, the closeness is there, my siblings and I go through stages where we are closer to others, but in the end we are all family and that is what it is about.

I can't remember exactly but I do remember hearing that you shouldn't have your children closer than 15 months apart. And I even think they even said no more than 3 years apart. It was a study that was done and it was on the news one night but obviously I wasn't paying enough attention. I'm sure you could look it up on google though. Good luck!

Happy Thanksgiving S.!
My daughters are 3.5 yrs apart. Althought they are only 1 and 4 and a half they are very close. They would rather be together than with anyone else in the house right now. I do not not if this will always be. But right now it has turned out to be wonderful. My eldest daughter has been able to be extremely helpful and understanding with the new baby in the house. As you know infants can be demanding and she was able to deal with that better than a 2 year old would be. She could get her own snack and juice box and entertain herself for a while if I had to nurse or tend to the baby. It does not sound like much but with a new baby it means the world.
My brother and I are only 16 months apart and have never really been that close. We are friends but we do not have that close knit tie. We never hung out with the same people or were interested in the same things.
In my honest oppinion, how close your children are is really going to depend on your children. And partly how you interact with your oldest about having a new baby. When I was pregnant the second time my daughter got to go to evey appointment and ultrasound, she toured the hospital with us, and took the sibling class they offered. Basically we made her feel like it was her baby too. And it has really helped.
None of us can tell you what is best for your family. You have to do what feels right for you and your family. i can only give you my experience and hope that it helps in some way. Enjoy your son and new husband. And what ever is meant to be will be. One this is for sure. You will love your children no matter what. And whether they act close or not when it comes to their relationship, they would still fight to the death for each other if thats what it came to.

The advice I've heard from other moms and verified with a pediatrician is that kids should be under 2 or over 6 years apart or there will be an increased rate of sibling rivalry... It was true for me... my son was 3 1/2 when my daughter was born and he had a really hard time, he had to be entirely re-potty trained and lots of bikering throughout their lives... I know other moms that have had kids closer in age and they had far fewer troubles. The most important thing, no matter what age though, is that you involve the existing child into the expecting of the child, let them help so they feel important, and then of course, make sure they still get the same or MORE quality time with each parent after the new child arrives. My kids are teenagers now, but if I had to do it all over again, I'd definitely have them closer in age.

I t doesn't matter how far apart they are. Im like you in a way. I just had a son in octobrer of this year and I talked to my husband about having another one in a year or two and he thinks that is too soon. I want to have my kid close together too for the same reason but my husband doesnt. I think if thats what you waant then you and your husband really need to sit down and talk about it. Thats what I do everyday hoping that i will change his mind
M.

S.,
I would advise you to wait a little longer. Our two older boys are 15 months apart and wow can they be a challenge together. It's okay to have two or three years between them. They will still be very close, but then you'll get in extra time with your toddler and maybe have the older one potty trained, which is huge. Two babies in diapers is tough. Also, you'll find it harder regarding jealousy issues if they are too close. Enjoy the time you have to devote to your one little guy for now - once you have another one, it's wonderful, but never the same.

My kids are opposite sex and 14 months apart. At this moment, they couldn't be closer. I didn't expect to get pregnant so quickly (as a matter of fact, we were using birth control and the pill, so my second just shouldn't even exist) but I wouldn't trade it for the world now. It's really hard having them close together, but even if you got pregnant right now, they'd end up being about 2 years apart, and that is plenty of room in siblings. My sister and I are 2.5 years apart and we're quite close. It's really up to you and your husband how close you want your kids to be, but if I have another one, I'm going to do it within the next year or two. . . because I don't want a huge gap between kids.

On a second note, my kids have an older half sister who is ten and they don't even notice, or really care, about her. (granted, she does live with her mom, but still, she's just a fun person who plays with them) Sometimes the age gap is a bit too much.

Weigh your options and decide what you and your husband want. :)

I think that you should wait a little longer. I have a sister who is 16 months younger than me and we fight and have ALWAYS fought. We are not close like my mom thought we would be. We are total opposites. My best friend from high school has a brother who is a few years younger than her and they are best friends and always have been. It could be because they are a boy and girl and my sister and I are both girls I don't know.

I don't think there is a "right" answer to this question. I have known all combinations of siblings from twins to more than 10 years apart. The relationships between the siblings are each different, but still special. Our children are 3 1/2 years apart in age (almost 7 and 3) and they are very close. It has been a good range for us. I think it is just a very personal decision and that having them be close in age doesn't need to be the major factor in deciding when to have No. 2.

My kids are 3.5 years apart and I really liked this because by the time my son came, my daughter didn't want to be the baby anymore. She wanted to be the big girl, always helping bring me diapers or playing peek-a-boo with her brother. I had three surrogate babies squeezed between my kids (5 kids in 6 years). It is exhausting to be pregnant, and little ones just don't get "mommy's too tired". I think there is no harm in waiting a little longer, enjoying your son while he still wants to be enjoyed. Besides, spacing them out allows you to enjoy thier littleness for the maximum amount of time. AND, in case no one else has said it (and I know every child is different) you might want to see what terrible two's look like on your child before you decide to be pregnant/have a newborn during them:)

I have a son who is 18 months older than my daughter and I thought it would be cool to have them close so they always had someone to play with. Let me tell you how wrong I was!!!!! They fight like cats and dogs EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don't think a day goes by that they don't bicker about the stupidist thing!! They can't walk past each other without sticking a foot out to trip or slap the other. It's HORRIBLE!!

For YOUR sake, your husband is correct, its too early. Your body needs two years to heal from a child, and then you can start.

Keeping them close is fine, butwithin a certain range, your children will be close if YOU allow them to be, no matter what age they are. Mine are 4 years, 4 months and 1 day apart, they do exceptionaly well.

If you decide to go ahead and start, I would definatly WAIT for the two year mark. Its better for health reasons, AND for your oldest child....

i think it does matter a little bit. i feel the way you do, my kids are exactly 23 months apart. Me and my sister are 3 1/2 years apart, and we are very close now, but we weren't so much as kids. she was always there for me, but i also felt very left out of her life because she was older and didn't want me hanging around. i think maybe it would be a good idea for you and your husband to each make a list of what you would see as the pros and cons of having another kid now. compare your lists and figure out what you could deal with and if there is anything you think may get in the way right now.