If you truly feel your realtor is doing these things, contact the company they work for and tell them how you feel. They can always give you another realtor and/or you can file a complaint against them. You didn't mention where you are living but I know my daughter is trying to sell her house and it is in a very big demand subdivsion and she has had no luck at all with the way the economy is right now, so maybe your realtor is really working for you but just not having luck. I know my daughter's realtor seemed like at first wasn't agreeing with anything, but turns out the buyers were always trying to come in way to low and take advantage of the economy situation. Remember that is the way a realtor makes their money, by selling your home so I am sure they are probably trying but again there are some out there that maybe do not do their jobs correctly.
As for your situation. I do know it is much harder today to file for backrupcy, but if that is the only recourse you have then don't be embarrassed by it. It happens to a lot of people and your credit will not be good I think it is now 10 years. Many years ago I lived on credit and I was always living paycheck to paycheck and wondering where all the money was going. One day a friend of mine told me if I would just cut up all those credit cards and start paying cash I would find out that I had more money than I thought. I finally cut up those credit cards and have paid cash for everything ever since and they were right. I can afford much more without the credit. I am not paying all that interest which you never get them paid off if you just make the minimum payment and contine to charge. If I needed something that was expensive I would save the money and once I had it I went and bought it. I owe no one to this day. Of course you will always have a car payment unless you pay that off and a house payment but don't get in that credit card and loan trap. It was hard at first but once you get in the flow of it you will be amazed at how much you really have.
You mentioned a divorce. I do hope you will reconsider. You say your husband does nothing. Have you thought that maybe he is in the dumps just as well and is hurting and embarrassed? Surely he didn't want to do this to you and your family and always remember it is your debt as well and you were involved in creating it also. I just hate to see two people divorce when the going gets tough if they are still in love and want to be a family. Don't let a crisis destroy you and your family. It will get better but it will take time. If you think you can't afford anything now wait until you find out how much an attorney is going to cost you to get that divorce. Also by getting a divorce does not free you from any of you and your husband's debts. I would think it would be better to work together to get out of this problem than divorce and you have to pay half and he pays half and you are also trying to raise the children on your own, unless you have family that can help you. Just make sure if you do want a divorce that it is for the right reasons and not just because the stress and pressure is getting to heavy. You both need each other right now. I certainly understand your feelings of not having any respect anymore for your husband and under the circumstances that may be a proper feeling to some degree but remember both of you have feelings.
I wish you much luck in the coming future and trust me things will get better no matter which direction you take. It will be hard and it will take time for it to get better but it will. Trust me, I have been through a lot myself and went through some of your same feelings. Just use your head and think everything through and whatever decision you make, make sure it is truly want you want for yourself and your children. Just don't make any rash decisions or you will end up regretting it. Feel confident within yourself in whatever your decision is so you don't look back and say "what if"
