Best Homework Situation

Updated on June 06, 2014
M.B. asks from New York, NY
18 answers

Hi experts!
My Kindergartener has been given homework this year, and although completion hasn't been mandatory we've tried to consistently encourage it so that in first grade it will be part of the routine.
We tried to do homework in the afternoons or at dinner, but she gets so tired that concentrating and sitting still are difficult.
We changed the homework to be done at breakfast, which seems also to be difficult.
What are your experiences? What's the best scenario to get homework done with the least amount of stress for the child?
I want her to continue loving school, and also want her to understand responsibilities and WHY she gets homework in the first place.
I don't want to get into a "do your homework or else" or a "get a treat for doing your homework" I want it to be a normal every day thing she does.
Thanks

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

We always had some down time after school, snack, play outside, etc. then the kids would sit at the table or kitchen counter and do homework while I was cooking dinner. That way they were working on their own but I was right there if they had a question or needed help. There was no computer or TV or anything else until the homework was done so that was their motivation to finish.
They did their daily reading at bedtime. We kept their reading logs on their nightstands next to their books and reading light so it was easy to keep track.

2 moms found this helpful

Y.M.

answers from Iowa City on

Just like the previous poster, we come home, have a snack, relax for a bit (either watch TV, play games, play outside, read...) and then do homework (usually while dinner is being prepared).

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M.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

For us, the routine was: come home, have a snack and an hour of down time, then homework.

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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Homework??? In Kindergarten???? OMG - what is happening in our school systems?
When do kids get to be kids? When do they get to rest and recharge?

Think about this...how would you feel if you spent the day doing what your boss told you to do ...then at the end of the day he said - here take this home with you and do it...SERIOUSLY! You would be livid!

I am a retired school teacher (so I am not just some crazy left wing mom) and here I what I tell my kids teachers every year. "You get them for about 7 hours every day. I get them for about 4. I do my job in my hours and I expect you to do your job in your hours. Homework for the sake of homework is unacceptable. It DOES NOT teach good habits, it DOES NOT teach discipline. It teaches children that no matter what they do at their "job" there is always something else to be done. It is an exhausting system and my children will have no part of it." (and yes, as a teacher I NEVER assigned homework for the sake of giving them home work)

This usually leads into a conversation about standards, rules and regulations etc. And in the end, my children win. The teacher knows my position.

The conversation usually ends with something like this...

Now if my child goofs off and does not get her work done in the allotted time at school then by all means, if it was a fair amount of work and every student was treated equally and enough time was given to accommodate my child's learning, then sure, send it home and I will ensure it's completion. But do not send work home with my child to do in the evenings that they did not have a chance to do at school. It will not be done."

I truly believe that if schools did their job and parents did their job in the time that they had, this world would thrive. The current system tells children that no matter what they do, not matter how hard they work, they will never get to truly play because their is always "homework". No wonder so many adults work at jobs they don't like with people they don't like. They were trained for the first 12 years of their lives that "that is the way it is".

So for you reading this who are thinking...well what about when they got older, of course they have to do homework. Or something along that line.

So here is the full story. My children got to be kids when they were young. They got to play in the evening, do the sports and extra curricular they wanted WITHOUT the pressure of homework. They were passionate about "getting it done" in school knowing they could come home to recharge. As they got older, 6th grade and on, they LOVED school even more. They loved learning. They wanted to get more out of their school.
One is now graduating 12th grade with honors with an IB diploma and the other is finishing the 9th grade with principal honors. There is homework done in the evening not because i forced them to do it from an early age to "develop good habits" but because I loved them enough to teach them how to set their boundaries when they were younger. They do what they can, they eat well, they rest well and they know when they have had enough.

Comments? I am sure there are some.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Homework gets done right after school after a short snack break (I mean very short - bathroom break, snack no more than 20 min total).
Because it's too hard to get back into school mode if the break is any longer.
No tv or anything till the homework gets completed.
Cross stitch this and hang it on your wall:
"The quickest way to fun is to get the work done.".
'Work' means homework AND chores.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Brief break after school and then homework before dinner. If she waits until after dinner, she gets too tired and is unable to focus.

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

We've always done homework after school, after a break and a snack.
It works for us.
It's a habit and routine that our son, now in middle school, still follows.

After dinner, especially when he was little, was a nightmare. He was just too tired and got frustrated easily.

In K and 1st, there were times we just picked it up in the morning.
We had afternoon K, and homework was done many times in the morning.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Has the homework been due the next day after it's given, or does the teacher give a homework packet at the start of the week and it's due at the end of the week? The latter is the norm in many schools if it's kindergarten level homework -- which is your child's teacher's expectation?

If the homework is due the day after assignment, yep, you'll have to do it the day it's assigned. Otherwise, be sure to break it into smaller chunks if she has several nights to do it. She is too young to set those kinds of priorities alone -- help her do that. "Do you want to start with the math page or the writing page? You get to choose! You only have to do one tonight and you get to pick." Gives her a sense of control.

Be sure your child does not start it right after school; give her a short break to have a solid snack and drink, but don't let her go off to start playing or it will be tough to redirect her to homework. Before dinner is by far the best time; after that she is on the way to the evening and bed.

Set a timer so you and she both know when homework time is over. If you are not sitting with her as she does it, start doing so; it's fine to do that in K and first, I think, and sitting with her does not mean you're doing it for her! Have your own thing to do while there; read a book, do a puzzle, balance the checkbook -- the checkbook is good because it's an opening to talk about how numbers really do matter!

A treat for doing homework does not have to mean a "treat" per se. Let her know that once it's done she gets to go play or help you make dinner or whatever.

Be sure that she is not dragging things out. Has the teacher said something like "Kids should not spend more than 15 minutes outside school on homework" or things like that? Some teachers do, and it's a good thing; younger kids should have a point where they stop, if they have basically made a real effort. If you are keeping her at the table for ages that drag on until she's totally done, something is off kilter -- she is either dragging her feet or the homework is too much. If she is really trying, stop her after a certain point. Praise her efforts and then talk to the teacher about how it's taking too long and to figure out why. The teacher is your resource here.

Does she have a good space for doing homework? She needs somewhere that is not her own room - too distracting-- and not in sight of toys or TV etc. A kitchen or dining table is good, with you there. If she has siblings who are playing while she is working, you need to ensure they are out of her sight and she doesn't hear them; too much temptation for her. Be sure she's not dithering with "I need a new pencil, this one is too dull" or "I need crayons, I'll get them" and she jumps off her seat and disappears to find things. Have it all gathered and ready on the table so she doesn't have to leave the table to find any supplies -- make her part of that process so she is the one rounding stuff up.

Talk up her homework -- the assignments, not just her own work at the end. "Wow, you get to make your own book with a picture story YOU draw? That is going to be so fun." And so on. I still tell my kid (in middle school) that she gets some amazing and cool assignments -- because she really does!

Breakfast time is not great for homework because she's still waking up, is hungry, etc.

Bear in mind that you will be teaching her homework skills (getting organized, setting priorities, creating schedules, etc.) for years to come. Schools can't really teach those things and they must be taught at home or by middle school kids are overwhelmed and frustrated. You are on track to help her so much, mom!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Come home, snack, playtime for 45 minutes then sit and do homework. Do this everyday.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I would refuse homework. The hamster ride called capitalism is stealing childhood from children, and we all think it's Ok. It isn't OK. If they can't do all they need to do school, then there is a problem. There is no evidence supporting homework, and new evidence saying it actually makes things worse!

A good work ethic does not require work at home. Let's not teach our kids that it's OK to work 24-7. Capital already has most of us working 70 hours a week, with cell phones attached to our ears. Why do this to our children? Why not just say, you know what, my kid is tired. She was at school for 7 hours, now she gets to play and spend time with her family.

⊱.⊰.

answers from Spokane on

My boys always do their homework at the kitchen table while I am preparing dinner. That way I am close to help out when/if needed and answer questions if they have any.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

When my kids were in Kindergarten, they got homework too.
It was homework, that would take only like 5-10 minutes at most, to do. It was not, some complicated demanding rocket scientist homework. It was, age and grade appropriate. It was not like, the kid had to do it 100% perfect or anything. It is mostly, to teach a child about habits/responsibility/routine, and showing comprehension and "remembering" what was taught. Via homework, the Teacher also can gauge each child and progress etc.
And it is prepping, for 1st grade.

Don't get too stressed about it.
In Kindergarten a Teacher knows, that this grade is also about learning habits of learning. Because, in Kindergarten, there is a WIDE range of abilities or socialization, because kids either have had Preschool or did not. And in Kindergarten, a Teacher is also teaching basic skills of behavior, listening to direction, socialization, how to problem solve simple conflicts, and how to actually do "work" via being cued, being given verbal and written directions etc.
So, per homework, it is not like a kid has to be 100% spot on. And IF a child is not completing ALL homework, then fine. That way, the Teacher knows each child and can gauge them. Per overall, performance. It is not just about being a robot. It is largely a prep... for the next grade and in FORMING habits, for "school" and being taught the overall behavioral/academic and social, realms. And that schools have rules and a curriculum and subjects. Because, in Kindergarten... a child is NOT adept at "school" yet. And this is their first formal experience... in an Elementary, school. It is a big difference from Preschool.

Kindergarten is like a training... for teaching a child about "school" and giving the child a foundation.

Anyway, per homework, a kid is generally TIRED from their long day at school. They were "working" all day at being directed and at concentrating ALL day. . When they come home, they are spent. They NEED to DEFLATE. To relax. To unwind. IF you have them do homework, AS soon as they come home, they won't want to do it.
But then, if you wait TOO long, to do homework, then it just gets harder... because it is being dragged out. Procrastinated.
So with my kids, since they were in Kindergarten, I let them unwind after school and hang out and do nothing. And I give them a hearty snack. Because, at school, their last meal (lunch) was HOURS before school got out. Kids need to eat, after school. They are spent. Their system is empty. They are hungry. They need, food to feed their brain too. They are exhausted.
Then after that, like 1/2 hour later, my kids do homework. And even when they were in Kindergarten, it was fine. It was a REGULAR routine.
They knew it. I knew it. It was done. It was a routine.
They knew it because I explained it... to them. I told them, you worked hard at school, you need to eat to think, your last meal was HOURS ago, you just came home from school and deserve to relax and hang out even if it is doing nothing. Then after that, you can do your homework. I explained, to my kids. And since they started Elementary school, that has been the routine. Every school year. And it is fine. I have a boy and girl. And it works with both of them.

I explain to my kids, what the expectations are, what responsibility is, that I know they need to unwind, then getting to homework is better doing it now... than putting it off. Once its done. It is DONE. And they can do other things after that. It does not make them hate school. They know it is work. This is school. I don't bribe them with candy or treats. Teachers work hard at teaching them...so being respectful also means, trying their best and doing their homework and learning. Too. And that is what a Student, is.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Each child can be different. Our daughter liked to come home, have a nice snack, this meant a pretty hearty snack, some down time and then homework. If she got home at 3:00 sometimes it was 4 or 5 before she started, but she always got it done,

In middle school, she did not get home until after 4.. so that pushed it back and same in High School. BUT in middle school, she and her lunch bunch would many times work together on homework at lunch. They had after school activities and learned to get started earlier in the day.

Sometimes, she would ask to be able to do it later and we gave it a try and she really did do her homework, it was just sometimes after dinner.

At our elementary school, the "after school care", they would have a snack and then an hour of homework. Some of them completed it and some of them at least got started on it, then the rest of the time was for them to play outside on nice days or play games inside or maybe watch a video or if the child wanted to complete their homework they could also do this at the outside tables.

So you will learn what works for your child over time. If she says she wants to play first, but then cannot settle down long enough to complete her homework after playing, you know this is not going to work for her, and you just explain to her. We tried that but remember how you were not willing to do your homework later? Or Remember how you ran out of time?

Let her be in charge of some choices. Do you want a bowl of cereal or a sandwich for snack? Do you want a slice of leftover pizza from last night or some berries? Give her some control over how this time is going to work for her.

"what do you want to start with? Your chapter reading or your spelling words?" Do you want to work on your math sheet or your sentence writing?"

She will then feel like SHE got to choose how this was going to work.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son is in first grade. Both last year and this year, he comes home from school and has an hour or so of quiet time. He can play, read or do whatever he wants in his room as long as he's quiet and calm (his sister naps during this time). He does his homework after that, so usually around 4:30 or so. It's good because he's had some down time after school but isn't super tired or hungry, as he is closer to (or after) dinner.

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Z.B.

answers from Toledo on

I think you need to do homework before dinner if you can. My husband and I both work, so this isn't always realist for us.

As much as we all want to keep school as positive as possible while they're younger and still really love it, at some point they will learn that they have to do their homework, whether they like it or it.

I really think waiting until breakfast might cause problems as the work load increases.

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E.B.

answers from Denver on

I believe that to do homework at dinner or breakfast is setting a worse precedent than not doing homework at all. Meals should be for discussion, family talk, catching up with each other, discussing the day ahead, etc. If you make mealtime homework time, you will lose a precious time of bonding, and you'll be creating an association between meals and homework. Plus, doing homework at breakfast creates a "I can do it at the last minute" habit.

Your child probably sits much of the day, at a table or desk. Try setting up a comfy homework spot, with a big pillow on the floor, good lighting, and a handy plastic caddy with pencils, safety scissors, crayons, etc. Make sure everything your child would need (tissues, water bottle, etc) is nearby.

After school, give her a healthy snack (fresh fruit, string cheese or yogurt, unsweetened applesauce, and a glass of low fat milk or pure orange juice). Visit with her and hear about her day. Set a timer for snack time, like 12 minutes or so. It might be fun to go to somewhere like Bed Bath and Beyond, or look on Amazon, for a fun timer (with a smiley face or something) that will be the special homework timer.

Then move to the homework spot and set the timer again. Just have her do homework for 8 minutes, or 6 or 7 minutes at first. After the timer goes off, have a 3 minute stretch or wiggle or impromptu dance time. As adults, we often break our chores into little bits; for example "I'll unload the dishwasher and then check Facebook for a minute, then I'll get the vacuuming done before I take a nice walk around the block." At the kindergarten age, 15 or 20 or 30 minutes of homework in one straight session is too much. Having your child realize that homework time won't last for what might seem forever, but can be done in manageable blocks of time, with the reward of stretching or dancing with Mommy afterwards, can make it a positive thing!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I hope she doesn't have homework for several years. Except work she doesn't finish for some reason.

Research shows that kids who do homework test lower than kids who don't do any homework. The theory is that kids learn better and retain more if they learn and it's fun. Not that it should be fun and games but if you present the material in challenging and interesting ways where the kids can be involved they'll remember it so much better.

Kids need a break from school when they get home. They need to go outside and run around and get dirty and let off steam. They need to get some activity and imagination going.

After dinner or when you are cooking dinner is an okay time for her to start settling down for the evening. They have plenty of time even after dinner. We don't put the kids to bed until 9. They get up around 7 so they get 10 hours.

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S.T.

answers from New York on

We always did homework either jsut beofre or jsut after dinner. When they get home from school they need to spend their stored up energy. or chill on the couch. If the wether's nice I'd make them go outside and do anything - but outside. After many trials and errors we found that as I was making dinner having them sit at the kitchen table was one of the best options. I'd have carrots stick, or red bell pepper slices in a bowl while they worked. I was there to answer questions, help, give advice, etc. If that was too busy we'd leave the dishes in the sink and do it right after dinner.

We did change this up over the years for my son who deals with ADD/ ADHD since his medication would being to wear out about an hour after he got home. So for a few years there we'd try to rush the homework after a 20 minute activitty period. He's in HS now and tries to do his homework in class as soon as it's been assigned or in the down times during the day. It often works out - but now he's got to figure it out on his own since he's now grown out of my capacity to help. Common core algebra? not a chance.

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