Breastfeeding.... ARGGGGGHHHHH!!!! --- Sorry This Is Long

Updated on January 03, 2012
A.L. asks from Fort Worth, TX
27 answers

My gorgeous baby girl turned a month old yesterday. She is absolutely wonderful and I can't get enough of her. I have 2 older daughters, 12 and 13, and they are thrilled. I did not BF my 2 older daughters so this is my 1st go round with this. No one ever told me it would be this HARD. It brings me to tears almost every other day if not multiple times per day. It started that I didn't know my water had broken when I went in to be induced so they put me on antibiotics because I had a slight fever (got to 100.3). I was really nervous about breastfeeding before I had her. They handed her to me after they got her cleaned off and she ate and it was pretty hard to get her to latch correctly. While I was in the hospital (they kept us for 48 hours after because of the possible infection), I met with the lactation consultant every day. On the last day the nursery nurse came in and said that she was jaundice and was not having enough wet diapers so they wanted me to supplement with formula and they used a nipple so then she didn't want my breast. I finally got her back to the breast and we got to go home. then since I was sore and was worried about the jaundice and was worried she wasn't gaining enough weight I continued to supplement formula (even though I was producing 3-5 ozs every time I pumped). She still had a problem latching so I came back o hospital and met with the lactation consultant and she helped a ton. She fitted me for a nipple shield and got me a my breast friend. The pillow is amazing. The breast shield was not giving her enough so I have not used it since. I then got thrush, I believe from the antibiotics, and have been in tremendous pain. The baby never got it thankfully. It finally cleared up enough on Friday of last week that I got to feed her for a full 24 hours which has been the longest stretch with no bottle supplement. Saturday evening, we were getting ready to go and I was feeding her, and it started her a lot again and when I took her off I had a cracked nipple that was a large hole and had blood. I have kept her off again since except for last night when I let her eat off of the good side and pumped the bad side because I missed it so much. I am trying to hang in there to when it gets easier but it just seems like one thing after another. When I do get to feed her she is still sucking her hand after 20-30 mins each side so I want to start supplementing after I heal and can feed her. When I pump regularly I am getting 2-3 ozs and when she eats formula she is easily taking 3-4 and can still be hungry... I am really trying to keep going but it is really, really hard... I don't know what else I can do. I need to get my supply back up and stop all the problems. BTW I have been using lanolin and nystatin after every feeding. The OB gave me 4 doses of diflucan every 72 hours.

If you have any suggestions or words of encouragement, I would really appreciate it! I never thought it would be this hard. I thought it was a natural thing.

TIA!!

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I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

First off if you were on antibiotics, there is a good chance that the cracked and bleeding nipple is yeast. Nystatin will only work in 30% of cases. Look into gentian violet. You have to treat mom and baby for yeast at the same time. Look up yeast/ thus/ candidiasis yeast to get some better information. Dr. sears has some good clinical advice.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Congrats on your baby girl!!

To be honest your post was hard to read....please don't take that wrong...as it was one long paragraph...so I might have missed something.

Stress is the #1 thing that keeps women from producing milk. And I think you are doing GREAT at 3 to 5 ounces!!!

She is sucking her hand for stimulation and comfort (like sucking a thumb) - NOT BECAUSE SHE IS HUNGRY!! You do NOT need to supplement her with formula after nursing. Personally? I would quit any and all formula. But this is MY opinion.

I pumped after every time I nursed. That kept my milk supply up and ensured that I got the hind milk out as well.

You will get LOTS of different information from here - there are moms who exclusively breast fed and mom's who exclusively formula fed and NEITHER IS WRONG. You need to do what is best for you and your baby. So from here you need to take what YOU like and what works for you. Throw out all the rest. Everyone will tell you something different....you need to do what works for you!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

You have been through a lot. I urge you to consider the following:

1. Your baby is healthy.
2. Thrush is treatable.
3. You're more than 1/2 way to the point where I felt much more confident in my abilities with my child. Try to give it 6 weeks or longer.

It is a natural thing, but sometimes it's a more wandering route than other times. Take some long breaths and just try to let the stress go. As long as your child makes plenty of diapers, she's fine. Sometimes I think doctors get us so worked up on a kid fitting just so on the chart or we worry about ounces and we forget input = output and we're all different.

Also, try to use less formula and more nursing. I know, I know. But if your goal is to nurse, then work on that. My sister is finding herself on the slippery slope because she has all these doctors yammering at her and it makes her head spin. So her milk was THE BEST in the NICU but now it's too much trouble? When she's worked so hard? Don't let doctors make you feel stupid. Also pumps are not babies. Don't worry about 3 oz. That's good! Your child can likely get more than that when she nurses directly. I was never a mass producer, but DD is fine.

Kellymom.com has great info on getting back to breast, on how to bottle feed a nursling without overfeeding, etc. Use it. Great resource.

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R.C.

answers from Dallas on

Formula and cows milk both are much richer than Mothers milk. If you notice, Mother's milk is thin and bluish. Are you getting enough food yourself? Taking vitamins? Your baby sounds like she is still hungry after you nurse her. If you have an infection and it's painful your baby can sense the discomfort. As for the thrush from antibiotics eat yogurt while you take the antibiotics. It will replace the natural flora from your digestive tract that the antibiotics destroy. Remember, the digestive system starts with your mouth. Also, while you eat it, rub it around with your tongue in your mouth.

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A.F.

answers from Houston on

Seriously, the six week mark is like magic!! You've only got a couple more to go.

I would also recommend trying different positions. It didn't get settled for us until I figured out the football hold.

I also discovered that no matter what I did to help her latch, she was keeping her bottom lip rolled in over her gums. That is a big improper latch. So, with each feeding/latching, I had to get her on and then use my finger to gently pull down on her chin to get her to open a little wider and get her lip positioned correctly.

Also - keep in mind that pumping is no indication of actual production when your daughter is on the breast.

Are you timing her on each side or just letting her eat until she stops? Your breast will continue to produce milk as long as your daughter is on the breast - it will not "go dry" the way you see it with a pump (with a proper latch).

If you're still having cracking and bleeding this far in, go back to a lactation specialist - the latch still isn't right. I also highly recommend finding a La Leche League meeting/leader in your area. Some can be extremist, but mine was so kind and understanding.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I had major problems and had to supplement for a while till I was back to normal - but the LC gave me a tool like an IV for formula. I clipped the tube with the formula on, then held the VERY thin tube next to my nipple. My son nursed AND got extra at the same time so it actually encouraged my supply - which had dropped majorly. It was a lifesaver. See if your LC knows about this tool and can help you with it. It was a great help.

Here's a youtube I found - not the best example, but it'll give you an idea. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wd_iym7lBaU

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D.B.

answers from Madison on

After feeding her, try putting your own milk on your nipples - heals it faster and better than anything.

Sucking on her hands after a feeding doesn't mean she's hungry - when mine does that (she's 2 months) I put in a pacifier and she goes to sleep. She may just have a strong urge to suck like mine does. I really didn't want to use a pacifier, but changed my mind as she wants to suck a lot!!

Pumping and breastfeeding aren't the same - I just try to nurse at least every 2 hours during the day when she wakes at night. I nurse on demand but if she's squirmy or fussy, I offer the breast. Sometimes I know I'm just a pacifier to her, but I enjoy our time together. I use a pacifier when she needs a nap and at night.

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T.W.

answers from Syracuse on

I had a difficult time nursing my first baby as well. He was very fussy during and after feedings and spit up a lot, feeding him outside of the home was next to impossible. After 2 months of frustration, I basically pumped all his breast milk and gave it to him in a bottle. That sounds like a lot of work, but once you get the routine down it's not so bad. He was always much calmer in the evenings, and that was when I'd nurse him. I didn't have any supply issues until after 6 months, which was when I started supplementing. I was able to give him breastmilk for a year this way. Best of luck to you, just do whatever works best for you and your baby!

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J.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

Breastfeeding is sooo hard!!! I cried for days and days on end. It wasn't until the 6th week that things became "easy" and stopped hurting. My baby also had nipple confusion (because of the use of bottle due to jaundice and that darn nipple shield).......but once six weeks rolled around, he was 100% breast. My biggest advice is to not let her suck if she's not latched correctly. It sounds like you're doing a great job, even though you've had a very difficult time. Keep up the good work. I'm rooting for you! :)

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K.D.

answers from Detroit on

First HUGS!!!

You are a fantastic mother, trying to do what is right for your daughter and nothing is more important than that!

Yes BFing is hard, give yourself a break :) If you are truly dedicated to BFing I would highly recommend finding a support group. Le Leche League www.llli.org is a great one, but there are others depending on your area.

My biggest obstacle when I first started was myself. I too, had many of the same problems and if it wasn't for my mom and the support of other BFing friends, I know I never would have continued.

If you really want to do this, you can! I'm far away but if you ever need someone to chat with or just need to vent I'm happy to listen :)

Take care

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

Keep nursing her and don't supplement. Supplementing makes it harder and causes your milk to reduce. Your body will keep up with her demands. Make sure you're drinking plenty of water, eating right and taking your prenatal vitamins. Keep doing the lanolin and hang in there. It does get better. I've breastfed all five of mine and I've had every problem there is possible. I just worked through them all taking one day at a time. I never supplemented. That just reduces your milk supply. They all learn to latch on correctly and the time passes so quickly. Before you know it, your child will be grown and you'll be encouraging the next mom who is having similar problems as you had. Good luck and congratulations!

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

You are doing great! It is hard at first, and I suffered through all of the above with my first son and eventually even got mastitis. My advice is no supplementation, continue feeding often (even on the painful breast), continue asking for support from a lactation counselor, and rest as much as possible. Is it possible that she is tongue tied? Both of my sons were tongue tied, meaning that their tongues were not free to press up against my nipple and draw enough milk. That also made for a painful latch. We had an ENT perform a very minor procedure called a frenotomy, and they both nursed better immediately after.

Keep up the good work and know that it gets much easier as she gets older. Try to correct her latch with a lactation consultant as soon as possible. Supplementing will only lead to more problems.

Also, like others have said 3-5 is very good to be pumping out. I never got very much when I pumped, and my boys were always quite big.

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds so much like my story with my first child. I went thru mastitis, thrush (me and baby), cracks, antibiotics, etc. I would cry before feedings. It was so hard and I put so much pressure on myself to nurse, equating it to being a good mother. We never were 100% breast milk but got close before I stopped producing at 6 months. With my next 2, it really was so much easier and I nursed for 8-9 months, I think because I knew more and I took the pressure off. I was ready to move to formula as needed, or to pump and feed, whatever was fine. So I encourage you to try all your avenues but not to make yourself crazy over it. Baby girl will be fine regardless of whether you get the a+ for being 100% breastfeeding, 50%, or even 0%. Hang in there!

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Bless you! Even if people try to tell you, you can never imagine how hard it is and you have had some really hard problems.

The cracked nipples will clear up in a couple of days with regular breastfeeding and the lanolin. Mine were cracked the first week I had the baby, but I still had my pain medicine from the delivery, so I took that to help with the breastfeeding pain. My pediatrician felt that it was totally ok for my baby to nurse on the cracked nipple, even if it meant ingesting blood (gross, I thought, but ok...).

I was plagued with thrush with my first baby, and it ultimately made me stop breastfeeding. It was the most excruciating pain I had ever felt. However, I think that my doctor would not prescribe enough diflucan and I ate too much sugar. The treatment your doctor is giving you sounds really good and like it should take care of it. Also, check with your doctor, but what worked for me with my second baby was taking a probiotic.

I nursed my first baby to 13 months, and am currently nursing my 23 month old (trying to wean!).

It was very painful, especially at first, and then later when I had mastitis and thrush, but I am very happy I stuck with it. It saved so much money, was so super convenient (no need to pack formula in the diaper bag or prepare a bottle at 3 am) and such a nice bonding experience. I'll always remember my little babies latched on, delirious with happiness and contentment, nursing away...

However, if you and your doctor decide formula is best for your baby, that is ok too! I hate that moms are given a hard time for doing formula. I was a formula baby and my sister was a breastfed baby. I ended up only slightly fatter and less intelligent than her.... Just kidding! I can tell from your post that you are a devoted mom, and your baby will thrive no matter what.

Keep up the good work! :)

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

A., keep doing what you are doing. As long as you are breastfeeding and pumping, you will not lose your milk supply. Take your time building it up, and YES, supplement so that your baby will not suffer during this.

Not every baby refuses to take a nipple just because they supplement with a bottle. Both of my kids liked either one. I could go back and forth between formula and breast, and it was fine.

With my first, I got so very sick that the doc said no breastfeeding, and he got a bottle for 2 days. That helped me a ton because I could give him a bottle if we were out, and then when I worked, I didn't have a nightmare at daycare. With my second son, he was losing weight so much so fast that I needed to supplement, but it was even more critical than I realized, because it turned out that it was oh so hard for him to work so hard to nurse because it turned out that he had a submucous cleft palate. If I had been staunch in only breastfeeding him, it could have been dangerous to his health. Thankfully he didn't mind either one, and I actually nursed him longer than my first son because he was happy to have breast or formula, and I made sure he got enough by supplementing my breast milk.

You need to take good care of your breasts. Don't worry so much about the supply. The only thing you should be worried about is going dry totally. Be glad that baby will still take a bottle, just in case these medical problems are too much to handle.

And don't let ANYONE chide you for whatever you decide regarding nursing or not. It isn't any of their business what you do or don't do with your breasts. And if this doesn't work out, it is okay. Your health is tremendously important. Your daughters did fine without breastfeeding, and this child would too. Hopefully you can have your cake and eat it too, both breastfeeding and supplementing.

Good luck!
Dawn

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M.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Congrats A.!! I'm so sorry you are having a rough time of it. It sounds horrible! My 2 cents - I completely agree with everything Cheryl posted. If your LO is not crying she's not hungry. If you are pumping that much you don't have a problem with your supply. I do wonder if you still have a latching problem though. Maybe its worth going back to the lactation consultant? My DD was born with a high palate (I think that's what they called it) which made a good latch really hard. Anyway, I also got the cracked nimples until her palate shallowed out . It wasn't that long. Hang in there you are doing a great job!!

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T.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Wow! You are my hero! I was very fortunate in that I didn't have very many problems to speak of regarding breastfeeding but I too was amazed that it was harder than it seemed it should be. I know there will be other Moms with more practical advice but wanted to let you know you are a Champ in my book and your daughter is a very lucky little lady! As your other two daughter are! ;-)

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

hang in there! she is getting enough. i would stop the nystatin if you are cleared up. it could be irritating your skin along with the nursing. dont wipe the lanolin off when you nurse its ok for baby. 2-3 oz is still really great for your baby only being a month old. maybe have a few quiet mins to yourself before you bf then your not tense or stress :)

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

Even if the baby has no symptoms of thrush, you BOTH need treated at the same time so you don't pass it back and forth, whick I think is probably what happened and you have thrush again. You can treat both of you with Genetian Violet or go to both of your doctors and get Diflucan or Nystatin (this is where a GOOD Family practice doc who can treat you both in one visit is a godsend!)

I HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY reccomend going to a La Leche League meeting (and calling the leader for help NOW!) You can find them at http://www.llli.org/webus.html just pick your state from the list!

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

I continued to BF even though my nipples were cracked and bleeding at the beginning. It eventually went away. Try not to beat yourself up. This is also my first go around with BF even though I had twins (they wouldn't latch) and you are right-thought it ought to have been natural and EASY! Any breastmilk your little one gets is precious.

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

You have some gret advice here so I have more words of encouragement than anything. I have an 8week old. With my first 6 weeks was the golden week where everything settled in. That being said I also used Le Leche League with her. They are spectacular! Helped me fix my latch after talking with them once. I had her slightly tipped away from my body, so not stomach to stomach. It mad all the difference in the world. With my second he has trouble getting his mouth wide open and he has his lower lip sucked in. So, like someone said in one of the other responses, I have to take my finger and push on his chin a little. not only does it get his lip out of the way but it also helps him open a little more. Again, with him it was 6-7 weeks and we are just now comfortable (for the most part, he still will occasionally need help). With my first I had the cracked nipples and just like you I dreaded getting her latched. But once you get your latch down they wont hurt as bad, even if they are not completely healed. It seemed getting on was the worst and then the actual nursing was OK, until the nipples healed that is.
You are doing incredibly well, espically considering the hard time you have had.

Good luck and good job!

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M.T.

answers from Dallas on

I didn't read thru all of the responses, so this might have already been said. Have you looked to see if she might be tongue-tied? My ODD nursed (actually nurses!) great from day 1 and that was 3.5 years ago. Never had any problems whatsoever.
When we had our 2nd DD, there seemed to be something wrong. She just didn't seem to latch on correctly. She also couldn't take a bottle. Not wouldn't, but couldn't. Finally, when she was about 6 months old, we were able to find someone to verify that she was tongue-tied. PLUS she also had an upper lip tie. Our chiropractor was actually the one to diagnose her. Our pedi said that she was fine, that wouldn't affect breastfeeding, she was gaining, blah blah blah. But it wasn't fine.
After our chiro let me know that I wasn't crazy :) we took her to Dr. Stacy Cole, over in Fort Worth. He was able to so a very quick & simple procedure to fix both her tongue tie & her upper lip tie. She started eating SOOOO much better immediately.
If anything, I would suggest getting it checked out.

http://www.svcole.com/ is Dr. Cole's website & they are SUPER nice.

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L.R.

answers from Dallas on

Pushing out a baby is natural too, and certainly NOT easy;) It does get better. It sounds like positioning. Make sure she's got her tummy and chest against yours, otherwise she's ever so slightly pulling which causes huge damage. Please go see the lactation consultant again, that's why they're there.

L.M.

answers from New York on

You got great advice. I will only add, that if it is easier for you and your baby, bottle feed. There is nothing to feel guilty about. I have 3 kids. I am nursing my son, he is almost 9 months old. It is a pleasure, and easy to nurse. If it wasn't, I would bottle feed. While breast is best, it is only best if it is really working out for mommy and baby. If it is miserable for you, than how on earth is that "best"? I think sometimes people can be too judging of anyone who bottle feeds and I don't like that attitude. Since I am a breast feeding mom myself, and absolutely support bf'ing, I think I have a right to weigh in here. Do what is easiest on you and your precious baby.
It is true, after 6 weeks it just gets easier and easier. But not everyone is the same either.
Good luck!

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L.W.

answers from Kansas City on

You're doing great and it is so wonderful that you are not giving up!

When you worked with the lactation consultant, did you determine if your baby was latched on properly? With a proper latch you shouldn't have pain (ok, you will until you heal, but normally...) Baby should have big open mouth, take the nipple, suck and you should be able to see her swallow and pause then suck again.

You can do it! You ARE doing it and it will get better. I've done the cracked nipples. Ouch! You might also look up Dr. Jack Newman's breastfeeding website (i don't have the link but you can google it). It is really helpful!

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

Six weeks was the magic mark for nursing both of my babies. Hang in there 2-3 more weeks and it will get much easier. Don 't supplement. Your baby can get more out of you than a pump can so don't use that as a gauge. I had times breastfeeding when I felt like my nipple was being sawed off with a knife and someone was stabbing me in the side of my breast at the same time and it all got better at that six week mark. Good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Boston on

Please please please read about Gentian Violet .. I had thrush for 3 months with my son before I finally gave up on nursing I still regret giving it up I BF my daughter until 15 months and my son until 8 months. You can do this! BF is supposed to be a happy comfortable experience contact La Leche League also they really were helpful!!!!

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