Can't Get Pregnant Second Time

Updated on March 21, 2009
S.M. asks from Wheaton, IL
22 answers

Hi! I'm 33 y.o. When my son was 1,5 we decided to try for another baby. It's been 9 months how we started and still nothing. I don't know why with our first child we had no problem then? It's getting a little frustrating. I'm just wondering is anybody had the same problem? Should I worry about it?
Thank you,
S.

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So What Happened?

I wanted to thank all of you for the support and advices. I really appreciate it! Yes, I'm going to the doctor in the end of April (still hope that I don't need to but we'll see) because I did try ovulation tests a few times and basal thermometer which shows my temperature jumping and dropping on 20 degrees every other day so I can't really help myself to figure out when is my ovulation. Thank you very much once again for the responses and your time!

Featured Answers

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi. Ok I will keep this short. Try a cough sryup!!!!!!! Like robitusin or something. It was taking a long time for me to get pregnant with my second and someone mentioned this too me. I asked the pharmacist and she said she had heard it before so i gave it a try and what do you know!!! Maybe a coincidence, but def worth a go.

Good Luck.

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S.O.

answers from Bloomington on

RELAX!! We were married a year and a half the first time I got pregnant. When we finally began to think about adoption and relaxed, I got pregnant. So don't try so hard, just relax and enjoy the one child you have!
S. O

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

S., yes, it took twice as long for us the second time (one year vs 6 months). What helped was knowing my cycle and identifying and addressing possible problems using the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. I also used the techniques for timing. Ultimately, I think the hardest part was patience! Once you decide you want to get pregnant, you want to get pregnant NOW! Sometimes it's just a matter of continued trying. Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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V.D.

answers from Chicago on

Talk to your dr. The 2nd time around took us 1.5 years vs 2 wks the 1st time. I had an ovarian cyst which affects how both ovaries release eggs. Once I had it removed, I was pregnant w/in 3 months. Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Peoria on

Hi S.,

You know, we are actually a growing majority. Getting pregnant the 2nd time can sometimes be much harder. My son is 6 1/2 and we're still going through it. I would get in touch with your OB/GYN. He/She can do some tests to see if you have developed any complications since the birth of your son. Keep in mind that it might be absolutely nothing, too! Sometimes it just takes a while.

I wish you the best of luck,
A.

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

Go to your doctor and have your thyroid tested. I have problems with mine and I had a hard time getting pregnant with my first 2 kids...then I had 2 other kids later that were surprises. If your thyroid is messed up wating forever won't make things better. Get that checked out first. You are already 33, don't wait too long.

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S.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, so sorry to here that, some things that might help, Seek God's advice,Pray concerning this matter, God knows best, he has a designated time for things to happen, but a lot of times we want it to happen when we are ready, God works on his own schedule, God loves you so verry much,and so do I and children are a blessing, from God. Also I would talk to my doctor.
I will keep you in my prayers, may God Richly bless you.
SM

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K.E.

answers from Peoria on

Well, I was 38 years old when my husband and I decided to get pregnant and it took 2 years! We were just about ready to try other measures. Good Luck!!!

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L.P.

answers from Chicago on

Take your time and be patient.
My sister had trouble getting preg. after the first one.
She now has a 11 yr, 6 yr, and 2 1/2 yr old. No medical intervention.
My girlfriend got preg the same month that they signed adoption papers.

Go on vacation-

Every vacation my mother-in-law went on was followed with a "present"- 7 pregnancies- 5 kids- my husband was the last child she had at age 42.
Good luck
Don't worry too much

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

S.
I would give it 12 months and then talk to your doctor, and both of you get tested to see if something is going on. Your body changes so much with every pregnancy and as you age. 33 is not that old, but I had the same experience. The first child was a breeze, and then we had issues having a second. It probably is nothing, but if a few more months go by and no luck, be agressive checking things out.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

Did you have a c-section? Sometimes the risk for secondary infertility goes up with c-sections. Also, the book the Fertility Diet will help you eat the right foods to boost your fertility, often it may be the diet that is preventing us from conceiving.

Good Luck and have fun! You should not worry, the stress of worrying can impact your chances of getting pregnant too.

J.

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E.A.

answers from Chicago on

I'm surprised it hasn't been mentioned. Get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. IT's a WODNERFUL book and resource to understand how YOUR body is ovulating. She uses the Fertility Awareness MEthods with basal Body temping, and cervical mucous charting to a make a visual chart of what YOUR body is doing so that you can hvae sex when you are ovulating (or avoid for someone using it to prevent pregnancy). Both of my pregnancies were one-timers based on this charting method.

My girlfriend was getting frustrated and started using thismethod after i begged her for months to try. I helped her with her chart and she got pregnant the second month. She's so excited and wishes she had done it earlier.

It's LOT less expensive in the long run than fertility treatments. If you need help you can email me. I'd be happy to help you with the charting or methods.

E.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S. - take a deep breath and relax.

I am a 33 yrs old as well and have a 21 month old boy and have been trying for baby # 2 since July (approx 8 months), so this question hit home for me. I just wanted to share my experience.

We had no problem with conceiving baby #1. We decided when he was 1 we would start trying again but that we werent in a huge hurry so if it "happened" great. After about 2 months of taking the relaxed approach and not getting prego, I started doing a lot of research. I bought the ovulation predidictor strips (OPK) they are cheapest I have found at early-pregnancy-tests.com. I also purchased the cough syrup - if you do, make sure that it is ONLY for cough, the cough syrups for colds ect have other things in them that will actually have the opposite effect. (Google cough syrup for fertility and a ton of info will come up) Personally, I didnt feel like this did much of anything.

A few more months went by, and I purchased a microscope (they sell them at the same website above)and more OPKs. The microscope is to do saliva tests. There is a "ferning" process that happens when you are fertile and the microscope can help you see when this happens. The biggest problem I had was that this detects several days of fertility, rather than the OPK that predicts your ovulation day. So used together I think they are more effective. (although, Im not pregnant yet, so what do I know!)I do feel that I know my body and my cycle and have found that I ovulate much later than I thought I did. This should help us in the coming months.

Finally - after just feeling really down about not getting the results I wanted, I did talk to my OB/GYN (Feb of this year) who said there are tests (some simple, some invasive) to test for possible issues as well as chemical options(prescriptions)if the tests came back ok . After hearing about these and doing research I first wanted to try some more natural approaches. (Oh- by the way, we also purchased the fertileaid and I felt it did nothing as well, just my opinion). So I decided to change my diet (lots of fruits/vegi's nuts, ect) and did a natural body detoxification (be sure you are not prego before attempting)and I also purchased a FANTASTIC book - Fully Fertile. I also started doing yoga a few months back to get more in touch with mind/body/spirit. I feel wonderful!! And I feel like my body is now ready to carry a baby.

So my point to this long response...Take care of you first and the baby will come. It's ok to try to get to know your body/cycle better too with things like OPKs. If you cant relax or these methods arent for you, talk to your OB.

Im not sure if Im pregnant this month, its still to early to test, but if not, I am confident that pregnancy is around the corner. Keep the faith! and Good luck to you!

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or need support!

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

Things change like weight, thyroid, stress and age. So try for a year and make sure your eating healthy and exercising. If you have gained weight lose a little, if you have lost more than you were when you got pg the first time gain a little. It does seem that we all have thresholds at which we can get pregnant. Make sure you make an appointment now so that you get in right at the 1 year mark either way.

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L.

answers from Chicago on

I'm sorry that your are having trouble. It can be so hard to be patient and not frustrated! I HIGHLY recommend the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" Chart your cycles, know what your body is doing, whan to "try" and then, if you are still not pg, you will have a lot more information to tell your doc. Doctors use a 28 day cycle as a baseline, but many, many women have a different cycle than that! Finding yours through charting may be just the thing. You can probably find the book at your local library...best wishes to you!

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D.T.

answers from Chicago on

You may want to talk to your doctor....but nature may work this out for you. I have 5 yrs between my children because that was right for my body. I too was unable to get pregnant sooner...but I have 4 wonderful children...each 5 years apart. I hope you can relax and have that additional child (or children) when the time is right.

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.,
I had the same problem. We got pregnant with our daughter within 2 months of going off of birth control. We weren't necessarily trying, but we weren't exactly preventing either. When she was about 6 months old we decided to try for another one. It wasn't until 10 months later that we finally conceived. I was going crazy with charting and the ovulation kits and all of the various websites that are available to help with the process. I would constantly get angry with my friends when they would tell me that they were pregnant. I couldn't figure out what we were doing wrong and it was really affecting my personality. But, it did happen and now I can definitely say that everything happens for a reason and we got pregnant when we were supposed to.

I know that this won't console you or make you feel any better, but at least you can know that it does happen to other women out there!

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A.H.

answers from Rockford on

We had the same problem. We started trying when my son was 7 months old because we weren't sure how long it would take (he'll be two this weekend). Many months went by with no luck. Then last summer I got pregnant twice, but lost both babies. After that, we tried and tried for months again with no luck. Finally, I started having acupuncture done. After one month of the acupuncture I was pregnant. Acupuncture is supposed to be REALLY helpful for this. It is also supposed to help avoid a miscarriage. I'm hopeful that is true because I'm 7 weeks pregnant now. Hope this is helpful. Good luck!

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N.G.

answers from Chicago on

Hi! This happened to me, too. We wanted a third, and it just didn't happen. I had a procedure at age 38 to flush out my tubes? or something got flushed... it was not an easy procedure, but it totally worked. I guess, as we age, there are cobwebs or something that can block conception! Good luck!

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

We had the same problem. It only took us 3 months with our first and a year for our second. Hang in there, have you tried using ovulation tests? That's what we finally ended up doing and it worked.

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C.F.

answers from Chicago on

I highly, highly recommend taking your basal body temperature every morning and charting it. It will help you and your OB detect patterns in your ovulation. Charting helped my doc determine I needed Clomid and I was able to conceive on the second month of the lowest dose (50mg). Good luck!

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B.A.

answers from Bloomington on

Hi!!! My husband & I tried for almost 2 years for our second child ( I am currently 7 weeks pregnant!!!) We went through all the fertility testing & discovered I have PCOS. We went through a year of fertility drugs & shots and a lot of stress & nothing worked. They wanted to refer us to a infertility specialist but we decided not to go. Instead we researched herbal remedies online & found www.nativeremedies.com we bought the Fertile XX for women & my very next cycle we conceived our second child!!! I highly recommend giving it a try!!!

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