My cousin is having a baby and told her sister that I didn't need to be updated because I didn't care enough to send a gift to her baby shower (I didn't receive an invite, I'm out of state). I realize she's being incredibly unreasonable but then again she's hormonal and really gets super crazed when she's pregnant.
I'm not sure how to handle this. Should I send something to the hospital or wait until she gets home? I intended to send something when the baby was born and was really surprised she was upset by not getting a gift at her shower. (This is her second daughter)
I'd call her and confront her. Tell her that she didn't send you a baby shower invite so you were going to send a gift when the baby was born since you weren't invited to the shower.
She's being ridiculous, but if you confront her, it may knock her off her high horse. you didn't do anything wrong, she's being a jerk.
What? She sounds like a jerk. I'd ignore her remark and send a gift when the baby is born if you want to. It's not like gifts are required. Has she always been so spoiled? Good thing you don't live near her and have to spend time with her!
She sounds like a spoiled brat that doesn't deserve to get a gift in the first place.
I'm wondering if she thought you were invited to the baby shower and the invitation got lost in the mail? Either way, it doesn't excuse her behavior. It sounds pretty petty on her part to demand a gift in exchange for an update of her pregnancy/child birth.
If you were planning to wait until the baby was born and then send something to her home ... do that. No need to change your plans to accomodate someone who is being demanding & unreasonable. If you decide that your not going to send a gift at all .... there is nothing wrong with that either.
Also, a lot of people posted about not understanding a second baby shower for the same gender I just have to say that I see nothing wrong with welcoming a second child. What I don't get is when they're only 1-2 years apart, the same gender, and the parents go out and register for the same items they received the first time around. That's what upsest me.
I want someone to explain to me when it became normal to have a shower with every baby. I get when there is a huge gap between kids but this every kid thing is strange.
Ugh - I can't stand preg-zillas.
If you were not invited to the shower you do not send a gift.
(And where I grew up you only have a shower for your first child. You save/reuse items till you are done having more kids.)
You did not get her pregnant.
If she wants to take it out on somebody she needs to talk to her husband.
(And if she gets that crazy when pregnant - he needs to think about getting fixed so she won't have to go through it again.)
When someone acts crazy around me - I ignore it because I refuse to feed into what ever insanity they are going through.
It's like giving in to hostage demands and I won't reward bad/crazy behavior.
If she's determined to be upset/unhappy - there's nothing you can do to appease her - so don't try.
To my knowledge why would they have a shower for the 2nd child who is the same gender? Shower is for to help out the parent with items for the baby- Did she not have a shower for her 1st one??? If it were me no I would not send a gift maybe a congrats card - Don't mean to come off as nasty, but if she had a shower for the 1st one, same gender she should have items left over so this child could use.
Why did she have a baby shower for baby #2??? I've only ever heard of having one initial baby shower for your first child.
Sounds like she needs to grow up. I wouldn't send her anything at all. If I didn't get an invite and lived out of state, why the heck would you send her something? Are you guys close, even though you live out of state??
When I had my babyshower, I invited my cousin who lives in NC, she drove all the way up here for it, and didn't get me anything. And I was totally fine with that because I just wanted her here.
My goodness, how petty of her. I'd send it to her house.
I wouldn't send such a rude and selfish person anything! It's her second baby and you were NOT invited to the shower. Period. Hormones don't excuse an absolute lack of manners!
Well your cousin sounds like a brat to me. However I would just be gracious. I dont think I would give her a gift now that she said nasty things..or you could be the bigger person and just pretend it was not said and said her a present.
No one has two showers anymore. One shower for first baby and that's it. Also, I have never heard of someone sending a gift to a shower if she did not actually attend the shower. Sounds to me like you have commited no faux pas (or however you spell that) whatsoever.
Don't worry about it. Do what you originally planned to do. I wouldn't punish her for being hormonal by not sending a gift if you had already planned to, but I also would not suggest you try to fix it either since you have done nothing wrong and the mom-to-be did not express her displeasure to you personally. As long as you do what you know is kind, you shouldn't feel responsible for someone else's emotions (especially when they are irrational). And often trying to fix someone else's irrational feelings just makes it worse. Just be kind, do what you planned, and if she is a decent person, she'll see her mistake on her own.
I know how you must be feeling, though. I hate it when someone thinks I have done something rude when I am actually trying to be (or planning to be) nice.
I really wish some people would actually read the posted question before responding.
Frometoz's COUSIN said that Frometoz didn't need to be updated.
Frometoz's COUSIN said that Frometoz didn't care enough to send a gift to the baby shower.
Frometoz was NOT invited to the shower.
Now that I've said that...
If you are not invited to a shower (baby OR wedding) there should be no expectation that you will send a gift.
Some people feel very entitled to whatever they want because they were never told "NO" as a child... she sounds very much like that.
I would go ahead and send a gift to her house like you had planned. Her greedy, petty attitude does not warrant any special treatment, but try to remember that the gift is for the baby. Not the crazy mama.
Your cousin sounds kind of ridiculous. Also, who has a shower for their second baby? If you feel so inclined, send a gift when you were planning to. I wouldn't confront her about anything right now. She's pregnant and hormonal and not a good time for that kind of business. Continue to be the bigger and more thoughtful person. :)
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Maybe she got upset because you said you didn't care to be updated (and she took it as you don't care as you did say you don't care to send her a baby gift to the shower).
That being said, it is unreasonable and rude for her to expect that you send something. I'd leave it alone and then send her a gift (if that is what you want) once she gets home.
