Daughter's Hair - Hartly,DE

I suggest that you stand and watch how she shampoos. I know when my boys were showering, they'd stand under the water and put the shampoo on. The shampoo washed down the drain before they could even work it into a lather. So I explained that they needed to step out of the water, get the shampoo on their hands, and then scrub it into their hair and scalps. Only when they felt the bubbles on their whole heads could they step back into the water to rinse. And rinsing meant that their hair should be squeaky clean.

The ends are knotted easily because she needs more trimmed off. Have the stylist trim all the damage off.

How often does she shampoo? I suggest you watch her to learn how she's shampooing. I suggest to do this even if she objects. Spend time with her leading up to watching So that she understands why.

My hair was oily at that age. Washing more often helped.

It could be-- I started getting lank, oily hair around that time.

Some things-- teach her to saturate not just the hair, but her scalp. Kids in a hurry don't shampoo very well. You may need to offer to wash her hair in the sink a few times to let her feel how it needs to be washed. The scalp traps a lot of stuff, esp oils, down by the roots.

I wouldn't use a shampoo specifically for oily hair, but something that is rather mild. You can put some conditioner in a spray bottle (empty product bottle) heavily diluted with water and use that as a leave-on for the ends.

Teach her to comb her hair from bottom to top, working out the tangles gently instead of pulling. If she is just brushing it, it may be stretching and snapping the hair.

Last, teach her to comb or brush her hair thoroughly immediately before washing. I found that my hair was better and cleaner getting out of the shower if I do that before I get in. It also will move the stuff close to the roots out a bit as well. Good luck!

There was a very similar question here in the past few months so you might want to search for it. Lots of good answers to this problem.

I agree that she needs to be shown to get her hair soaked all the way down to the scalp. It's very likely that, like many kids, she just hurries and washes the length of her hair strands -- the hair she can grab in her hands. She's not scrubbing her scalp and the hair that's closest to it. She might like the novelty and feel of using a special "wet hair" brush or very wide-toothed plastic comb to scrub her wet, shampooed head a lot. That can really help.

Another tip is to use vinegar, white or cider, once a week. Mix it with some water and really saturate her hair and scalp--don't worry about most of her hair, focus on the hair close to the scalp. Do this once a week and let it sit for 10 minutes before she showers if possible, or if not, help her do it in the shower first thing and rinse it out, followed by shampooing, at the end of the shower. Vinegar is great at cutting through oil in hair. White vinegar will have less smell and if you wash it well afterward the smell should not linger. We do this with my teen's oily hair and it really helps to do it once a week. You may need to experiment with the amount of vinegar to use each time - if it's too little it won't have much effect but too much will probably turn her off with the smell. Be sure she does not get it into her eyes.

Avoid conditioners or even conditioning shampoos except for the ends of her hair, if she has long hair. Most shampoos now are all about adding moisture -- it's very hard to find shampoos for oily hair, hence the use of vinegar. If she is using a moisturizing shampoo, especially one made for adults, I'd stop. One good shampoo my daughter uses is Neutrogena Anti-Residue Shampoo -- the one in the small, square clear bottle with clear shampoo. It cleans well and helps some with oil, but does not leave residues like many other shampoos yet it is not drying.

Try using a dry shampoo in between washings.

What does your stylist say about it? Mine has pretty good tips on managing DS's very curly yet flyaway hair - completely different than what I am used to. You might be shampooing too often, not rinsing all the conditioner out or just not getting her scalp clean.

I second the call for dry shampoo. Suave makes a good inexpensive one for you to try out.

do you have a water softener? when we moved to a house with one i had to switch shampoos and once a week i strip the oils from my hair using dawn dishsoap (as suggested by a cosmetologist cousin of my hubby) otherwise it looks greasy and flat no matter what i do. (not even dry shampoo helped me)
my sil has similar issue and will wash her hair in the one sink thats not on soft water.

Does she have fine hair/coarse hair/curly hair/...

When my kids needed to start washing their hair more, we switched to a deep clean shampoo. Now their hair can tolerate it because they have pretty fine hair (if her hair is coarse, not best option).

Deep clean can also be called volumizing. It just means it doesn't contain anything that will weigh the hair shaft down (like conditioners).

Avoid 2 in 1's - they are not good with oilier hair types.

This is assuming she has oily hair.

If it's simply a matter of not washing her hair correctly, you really only need to wash the SCALP. You rub the shampoo between your hands and add a teensy bit of water to dilute it enough to make it spreadable, and then rub that into your scalp. Lather up, then rinse.

The shampoo going through the rest of her hair will be enough to clean it and not dry the ends out further.

If you scrub shampoo through the length of your hair, you will need conditioner on the ends. Better just to let the soap wash through the ends on the way down as it is rinsed.

Conditioner - only on ends, or below ear level/chin level if really knotted.

Hope that helps. I would only try the volumizing or deep clean shampoo after you make sure she's washing her hair correctly. Getting it properly rinsed is important too. Mine sometimes forget that part and it will look lank.

Good luck :)

If she doesn't wash her hair every day or every other day, she might have to start washing more often. My mother has oily skin/hair and while that's great for wrinkle prevention, it means she canNOT skip a day washing her hair. You might try washing daily and conditioning only the bottom of her hair. You can also try a silk or satin pillow case and braids if she goes to bed with long wet hair.

If you find that if you help her, it's better, I would keep helping her, especially if it's thick or long. If you do not have a detachable shower head, it might be worth getting one so that you can help her while she kneels over the tub, and rinse really well with clean water.

How does she brush her hair? It may be helpful to get a really wide comb to comb the conditioner through and then NOT brush it after when it is wet. Wet hair can break more easily. If she starts at the top, she needs to start at the bottom. I've also heard that brushing before washing can be helpful for some people.

my daughters was like that and she started using Head and Shoulders shampoo and it totally fixed it. Cleaned up her scalp and her hair!

Short of getting in there with her to see what she's actually doing (which would be great if she would allow you to watch), you've got to guess at this. She may be producing more oil as an early sign of puberty, or she may be the victim of inattention to her locks.

I'd say not to use a conditioning shampoo because that creates gunk at the roots. The no-sulfite and natural shampoos don't lather (which some people say has health benefits) but she may not be working the shampoo into the roots enough. She's got to feel her fingers on her scalp. I wonder, like you, if she's not rinsing it all out or if she's using too much - that could be just as bad as too little.

Conditioner at the ends may help, but it won't repair split ends. Only a haircut will do that.

I agree that she should start lower down on the hair shaft to get out the snarls, rather than start at the scalp and pull the hair out trying to yank a comb or brush through a mass of knots. Give her a wide-tooth comb or a brush with not so many bristles to thin out the knots first, then gradually brush from the scalp all the way down after the knots are out. Brushing from the scalp down will help to distribute the natural oils all the way along the hair shaft. Remember in the old days when they said to brush the hair 100 strokes a day? That's what the purpose was.

I'd give her this activity while she's idle, like watching TV. It can also be fun to do another person's hair - I like the feeling of the brush on my scalp because it's a nice head scratch or head massage.

I'd get her in for a decent haircut and have someone look at her scalp for flakes and dryness/oiliness. Sometimes a hairdresser can get through to a kid when a parent can't.