Daughter's Long Hair and Tender Head

She is old enough to give a good try herself. YOu might to also take her to the store and let her pick out her very own brush or maybe put rinstones or other girly stuff on the one you already have. Do you use condtioner? I know it seems a little young to start that but it well mosterize her scale and it might make it feel better when she brushes. Have you tried a sticker chart? You can do something really special when she gets say 60 stickers, depending on how much you brush her hair in a day. We also brushed hair while wachting a favorite tv show. I know tv is bad but it really worked.
hope you come up with soemthing that works
A.

I started laughing as soon as I saw the title of your post. My kids all yelped and whined through every second of any time I put a brush or comb anywhere near their heads. What cured it was their getting old enough to do their own hair.

My daughter went from being bald to having the longest curliest, most thick hair you can imagine. It's beautiful, stars pay good money to have hair like hers, but combing it is a daily drama. I personally found that "kid" detangler and "kid" shampoos were not strong enough due to the thickness of her hair and the curls (you'd have to make the call for your daughter here). We never use anything in the shower that's not Pantene, Tresume, Garnier, etc - real stuff that manages and controls her hair better between washes. Out of the shower you could try Infusium leave in conditioner instead of the detangler (put it in a spray bottle though) - it works pretty well for us, especially between washes.

The best way to avoid tangles though is as soon as she gets out of the bath to comb the hair and put it in a loose braid for her to sleep in. It works wonders the next day when there are no tangles. I know you said she hates pony's etc., but if you can get her to try it once she might find she likes it, if it does indeed work. It still leaves a challenging day if you don't wash her hair everyday, but half the drama is progress right?

I was also once told that satin sheets supposedly help with tangles. My daughter got some satin sheets for her birthday last year and loves them. I'm not sure they really do anything for her tangles, but I figured it was worth a shot. You can Google that and see what you can find about satin sheets and tangles and see if you think it's worth a try.

Regardless, girls will be girls - dramatic. When my husband combs her hair, let's just say the whining and wailing is MUCH less, so you might let him have a try at it just as an experiment. My guess is that you are right on - yes, it does hurt at times, but at others, it's entirely for your benefit. Good luck.

I went through the same thing when I was five. I used to throw fits when I saw the hair brush because I was so sure that my mom was going to hurt me when she brushed my hair. I am still very tender headed. I even yelp when I brush my own hair sometimes. But, what worked for me was this: my parents changed the tone of the whole experience. My dad took over brushing my hair. We set aside about five minutes each morning and night when he & I could sit quietly together. He used a comb instead of a brush and started at the ends of my hair and worked his way up. We used lots of spray-in detangler and he spoke calmly and in a ssoothing voice the whole time. I think this method worked so well for me because I still had faith in him not to "hurt" me. My mom had already "hurt" me so many times brushing my hair and things never seemed calm when she did it, always in a hurry and rushing. Maybe some simple changes like those will help your daughter. Good luck.

I would start by brushing her hair with conditioner in it while taking a bath. That worked for me. Or you can try what I did if that is not working. My son likes his hair longer too and didn't like to brush it. So like you i gave him the choice of long hair that has to be brushed or cutting it shorter. He chose the long hair. Sometimes he would still whine or complain so I Would tell him that he could either go to time out and then we would start brushing your hair all over again after wards or we can just brush it now with you listening. That is when he would see things my way. But now that it is hot he will not let me cut it to get the hair off of his neck b/c he is that hot. So I told him then we need to put it up. He didn't like that but that or the scissors. So now when i am putting his hair in a pony tail and he complains that "mommy you are hurting me" I tell him that he wanted his hair longer and that this is the up keep on long hair and that he could get time out again and then go back to his hair or we can just put it up now with out time out. And low an behold he is starting to wear his hair up when it is too hot out.

My four year old does the same thing and has for as long as she's been old enough to speak. She has thick, longish hair (doesn't want short hair, nor do I). I find that she does not protest hardly at all after her bath when her hair is wet, and conditioned. So what I've done in the past is brush it out and then put it into half braids at night before bed. (hard to explain, but basically I parted it in the middle then pulled up only the front sections and braided each side, leaving her hair down in the back). I used those small silicone hair bands which hold very well. That way her hair was already done in the morning, and usually only needed a quick brush in the back, and was not nearly as tangled as if we left it all down. When we don't go this route, the protests are a sure thing. I'm pretty sure she is overreacting and is playing out a learned behavior. I've tried letting her pick the brush, the style, etc. But, she just keeps on complaining. I've finally started handing out time outs until she remains calm. This seems to works most of the time. If all else fails, and you're certain she's not really hurting, you could use ear plugs or your mp3 to drown out the noise. Maybe if she doesn't get a rection, she'll learn that brushing hair is just another part of taking care of your body. I wish you luck, and will be thinking of you in the morning as I pick up my brush and chase my daughter down. :)

My 5 year old is also a big drama queen with a tender head. She has curly, baby fine hair, so you can imagine the fun...

Finally I got sick of it. I couldn't deal with one more complaint. Like you, I use detangler. I use a wide-tooth comb. I'm very gentle when brushing. Whatever, she still made a huge fuss. So I took her to my stylist and had her hair cut to shoulder length and layered it - bottom line, there's a lot less hair to work through now! It's still long enough to put in a ponytail but I do not have to fight through a ton of hair and tangles. Where it used to take 10+ minutes of whining in order to brush her hair, now it takes about 2 minutes. Aaaaaaaah... And she doesn't dare complain, because she knows I'm only going to cut it shorter if she does!!

Good luck, I hope you find a solution. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone!

Hi N.
I have very thick hair and had this tender head all my life. I loved long hair and my mom (bless her!) had to deal with this also from me.
If she is like me, nope, she is not going to grow out of it. But shorter hair and having it "thinned" helps a lot. I get a huge mass under my hair in the back if I have it long I finally got tired of my own whinning.. lol..
cut it a little (ok a lot) and thinned it she will be much better if you only do that and brush it out at night and braid it for bed always use a very good conditioner if you can afford it get some at the salon if not use Pantine or something around the $5.00 range! I can speak for her...it HURTS...lol all you have to do is think about touching my hair and I whine and I am almost 40!
*giggle

luck to my hair twin!
Caeol

I used to do the same thing but I was just doing it mostly for attention... but of course my granny hit me over the head with the brush and I never whined again! I am NOT advocating that, just trying to be lighthearted. It's hard to say if she will grow out of it. Why not try a wide toothed comb instead and show her how to comb her own hair from the bottom up and then let her do it (with your guidance of course).

N.,

Have your daughter start at the bottom of her hair and brush instead of starting at the scalp. Also, consider getting her hair layered. It will help decrease tangles.

Molly

My daughter is now 5 and was born with a head full of hair, so literally from the get-go she has whined and cried almost everytime I have ever combed her hair. BUT, she will sit perfectly still and not make a sound when I take her to the salon for a hair-cut. I'm sure she has a somewhat tender head (I know I do), but for the most part she just does it for her reasons (all unknown to me).
My suggestion is to try a shorter hair style. Something that doesn't need a lot of attention. Obviously, you're always going to need to brush/comb it, but if it's shorter it won't take as long. My husband & I didn't want a shorter cut either, but it has made our mornings much smoother.
If she is complaining about the feel of the brush on her scalp, it may not be the "feel" of it, but the sound. It may be a sign of sensitive hearing. I know it sounds wierd- I thought so too. However, my son (3 years old) hates to have his hair cut with clippers. My Chiropractor of all people told me that it probably bothers his ears. So, I asked my pediatrician and sure enough, sounds on the scalp "vibrate" in the ear canal and can be very bothersome.
Good luck!

i would tell her to get over it she needs to brush her hair it is something she will be doing the rest of her life she my cry about it now but in 10 years when she is wanting to get all dressed up for that boy she likes at school she will love you for it

Three things: 1) start untangling at the bottom of the hair and work your way up 2) use lots of conditioner 3) go buy a really big paddle brush from AVEDA - the one with the plastic bristles in the rubber base - it makes a world of difference! Good Luck.