Daycare Resistant to "Early" Potty Training

Don't forget - you're the boss. You are paying them (a lot, I"m sure) for this service. It's up to YOU to decide when your child is potty trained and they need to do what needs to be done to get her trained.

My daughter was trained in day care and they did a wonderful and caring job. If you're not getting that, speak to the director. And stick to your guns. Potty training is a big deal. So I understand your concerns - and I applaude you for training her so early and having it work quite well. Why would you want to go back? But, keep in mind that sometimes, 18 month olds find all of the praise fun but it wears off very quickly. So she might not be as ready as you think. But keep chuugging along.

Good Luck - oh, and welcome to the toddler stage of defiance and the beginnings of the terrible twos. My daughter is three and try my patience all of the time. But I hear that they mellow at 4. Let's hope so!

To me part of the whole potty training process is your childs ability to tell you they need to go, rather then you watching them all day for subtle hints that they need to go. If your daughter isn't telling them that she needs to use the potty, you are asking an aweful lot. They have 20 or so other kids to watch and they can't spend their days looking for little hints that she needs to go. We are also, sort of potty training my almost 2 yr old. We've been doing it for several months, but we only really put her there if she says she needs to, or if she says yes when we ask. My kid aren't in regular daycare (my mom has them) so it's easier for us to train as there is only 2 of them. But I think you are expecting alot from daycare when your daughter isn't the only one there. If she's with you, then I would continue on your path. But asking daycare to follow suit is a little early I think.

If you start a child at about 16 months.. it usually works out great.. they just don't want to be bothered with going to the bathroom... this is crazy!! Tell them you want them to put her on every hour or so.. and that's the deal. tell them straight out no diapers!! you are paying them.. not the other way around.. good luck.. both of mine started at 16 months old.. and were totally trained during the day.. on their own.. by 2!!!! at night by 2 1/2.... so tell them what you want.. or look for another day care..

Hi D.,
I am still a SAHM, with 4 children, 18 and going into college, 16, 8 and 2 1/2. I work part-time, but am able to take my little one with me, until she starts school.

We are working on potty training now, and some days it seems to go well, others, not so good. I am taking it one day at a time.

Your daycare, or the people you talk to, are probably not all that impressed that your daughter is going on the potty so soon in life. Nor are they there to do the training. When she has accidents, it is more of a mess for them to clean up. So, I would suggest talking to your daughter (if she is old enough to be potty trained, she should be old enough to talk to, and for her to understand, if she doesnt understand a conversation, she is too young to be trained). Tell your daughter that she is being a big girl and doing well on the potty, and she has to keep that up at daycare. Send her to daycare in a pull-up, they should be easy enough for her to take down by herself, and can take an accident without much mess.

Continue with the training at home, expect her to have setbacks. My little girl runs around with no pants on, to remind her that she has to go on the potty. If I forget to take off her diaper, that she sleeps in at night, she wont take it off herself.

Your daughter is testing her boundaries with you, if she can go most of the day in dry underpants, she should be able to do it at daycare. Talk to someone there, see if they will make an effort to take her to the potty a couple times during the day. If they do that, she may not have accidents, and can continue with the progress you have already made.

If they are unwilling to remind her to go, or take her, then the work is on you to do it yourself. And if she is not remembering on her own to go to the potty, she may be still too young. Potty training doesnt count when they cant do it themselves!! That is what it is all about, going by themselves, remembering by themselves that they should be going on the potty, not someone else reminding them to go.

I had to be a downer on something you thought was such a good thing as your daughter being potty trained so young, but again, if she cant remember to go on her own or do it by herself, she's not trained. And all of your progress means nothing if you have to remind her to go on the potty.

Sorry, but good luck with the daycare and potty training. Talk to them and see what they are willing to do to help you with training.

Hi D.,

I own a childcare center and have potty trained hundreds of kids. No, you are not asking to much from this daycare. You are paying for a service and your requests should be honored. Giving your daughter one chance to potty train is ridiculous. It is not an easy process and it takes patience and consistency. The fact that they gave up so quickly doesn't say much for the dedication that this childcare center provides. Part of preschool and daycare is to help children achieve, and master the many milestones they will face in their young lives. If they are not willing to help you out then it will be confusing for your daughter. If you do not want her in diapers then they should listen to your requests. The only time we will put a diaper on a child in the process of potty training is for nap time if they are still waking wet, or if they are having consistent accidents and are clearly not ready. If children have a BM accident we tell mommy we will be discarding the underwear which has never been an issue. We also take our children as a group every hour or so to help avoid accidents. In most cases with consistency at home and at school we usually have children potty trained at home. You say switching schools is not an option but if the service is not what you want then why would you stay. You wouldn't go back to a restaurant or any service if it wasn't to your liking. Good luck!!

Don't give up. The most important thing is for YOU to be consistent. Continue to do it at home and explain to your daughter that sometimes at daycare they won't have time to take her to the potty as soon as she needs to go, so she may need to wear a diaper.

Discuss your situation with the daycare--ask them to take her to the potty when they take the other kids (if they do it on schedule) or at certain times of the day (after lunch, after snack, after nap). Let them use the diapers if they are more comfortable with it (unless you prefer to have her in cloth diapers--then provide them with the bag and diaper changes).

Ask what the day care does with other older children when they are in the process of potty training and have accidents. Make sure you are on the same page. The accident was probably more of her being uncertain in a new environment rather than testing her limits or just being ornery ;-)

Check out Elimination Communication boards for other people who have dealt with early potty training in a daycare environment.

D.,

I would find a new daycare, perhaps an in home daycare provider.

They aren't BOUND by time schedules and not nearly as many kids to remember to take to the potty.

The ONLY reason they are resistant is because it is more work for them.

She is capable and I really think its in her best interest to find a place that will help her move forward rather than regress.

M