Dealing with Miscarriage

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too had miscarriages. I believe it's more common than we think.

I don't think that you have to have to have it together. It's okay to cry about it. Even after my last one (5th) I still cried. After my first one, I wondered if I did or didn't do something. If I ate or didn't eat healthy enough. It's okay to question God about it and ask Him why. Spending time being sorrowfully honest with is okay to do. Job, Abraham, Hannah, David and others did. He loves you. He can take it.

My other kids (13yr, 11yr) from time to time wish that I had not lost any of my babies. So it is a loss shared by everyone.

I'll be praying that God comforts you as He promised in the Beatitudes. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

Climb up onto His lap and cry there for as long as you need to. Any time of the day or night. And as often as you want.

May God Bless you.

Well to give you a little knowledge of where I am at. I have had a miscarriage at 10 weeks, 8weeks, and 6 weeks. In between 4 beatiful children. I misscarry before I actually conceive. One of my friends had conceived and miscarried and than conceived before she even had her first period after her dnc. That was the most hardest thing I had to deal with was watching her every week while I was moarning. Its very hard and I feel deeply for you. All I can say is let nature take its course. You need and have every right to moarn your loss. You also have the right to be happy for those who aren't where your at. You need to take it a step at a time. Things will work the way nature wants them too. God has the strength to help you through this holiday. I will pray for you and god will bless you with a another beautifal child one day. Have a good Christmas!

I'm afraid I don't have any advice for you but I just wanted to give you my sympathies. I am so sorry for your loss and I can't imagine what you must be going through. Try to take joy in your two girls and concentrate on giving them some wonderful memories. Best wishes to you and Merry Christmas.

Dear R.,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. I will be praying that the Lord would comfort you, surround you with His presence and be your comfort and hope as you grieve. I highly recommend this book. You can order it at Christian Book Distributors. If you lived closer, I would get it for you.... It also talks about help for coping with holidays.

I would also encourage you to be honest with the people in your life that you did miscarry and allow them to minister to you, comfort you and help you and your family through this difficult time.

Praying for you,
J.

Grieving the Child I Never Knew: A Devotional Companion for Comfort in the Loss of Your Unborn or Newly Born - By: Kathe Wunnenberg
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Grieving the Child I Never Knew: A Devotional Companion for Comfort in the Loss of Your Unborn or Newly Born
By: Kathe Wunnenberg
Zondervan / 2001 / Hardcover
5 out of 5 stars(5 Reviews)

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Grieving the Child I Never Knew offers comfort and the reassurance of God's presence as you grieve the loss of a child you never got to know. If you've lost a child through miscarriage, tubal pregancy, stillbirth, or early infant death, this devotional will encourage you along your healing journey. Each chapter includes a journaling exercise. Hardcover.

R.,

You poor thing. I know EXACTLY how you feel. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and I was absolutely devestated. It really took me a long time to recover emotionally. It's been almost 4 years now and I still get teary eyed when I think about it.

We planted a tree for our baby...that really helped. We have a blue baby bootie on the Christmas tree for him (I had a feeling it was a boy). I had the hospital send me the ultrasound picture and I kept all the cards and gifts I recieved.

The thing that helped me the most (besides my husband) was probably the book I found. It's called A Silent Sorrow By: Ingrid Kohn
There's not too many books out there about miscarriage but this one is #1. My bestfriend actually just bought it for her sister-in-law last week, she also miscarried. I'm not sure where you live but she found it in stock at the Border's or Barnes & Noble on Hall Road in Sterling Heights. You can check their inventory online.

I had a really hard time with parties, baby showers, and "family" places in general (cider mill, etc.). For a while I just stopped going. Once I knew I could keep myself together, I went again. I knew I needed to heal and putting myself through that agony wasn't going to help.

Lean on your husband, family, and friends. Especially the ones who have been through it before and know what you're going through. Please contact me if you want to talk more about it.

This is certainly tough! I'd be honest with family and close friends about what you're going through and then try to make it to as much of the Christmas stuff as possible. People will understand if its too much, and they'll be there to offer a warm hug and some hope when you need it too. Definitely don't isolate, it will make it harder - at least that's how I'd feel. Keep recounting your blessings! And allow yourself to grieve. Its a huge loss and something people can't imagine unless they've been through it. You'll need to cry and heal.

Dear R.,
First I want to say how sorrow I am for your loss. I don't know what words of comfort I can really offer but I can offer understanding. I recently had a miscarriage as well. About a month ago at 9 weeks. This also would have been out third child and we also planned to tell family and friends at the holidays. I have the benefit of having at least a month of healing but I still cry at some things. I wondered how I would feel around other pregnant people and babies as well. I really didn't know how I would react, but when it did happen I truly felt happy for the other person and was able to keep my loss to the back of my mind. But don't be too h*** o* yourself if you have moments where it is hard to show those happy feelings as your loss was more recent. I can tell from your note that you are a good person and really feel blessed by the children you have we feel the same about ours. I would try to tell any immediate family and close friends before actual parties or get togethers so it doesn't have to be the focus of the whole night. Surrounding yourself with family at a happy occasion should help. One last thing I wanted to say....I heard this from somewhere else and it rang very true. Some people won't really understand your sadness and will try to cheer or console you by reminding you that you have two wonderful children and that you can still have another one (all true) but the part they may not understand is that baby was already yours and that you already loved that baby. And that's okay. It's okay to be sad about your loss but just work each day to feel better and it will. Please feel free to contact me.

Good luck and God Bless!

R.,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I suffered a miscarriage 9 years ago. Sometimes I find myself wondering about my babies and then I remember that it's okay that the Lord called them. He's our master and creator, so for him to need them bad enough to call them home so soon and early, I had to rejoice in it. It's hard, but you'll get through it. Try to open up and talk about it more and be sure not to shut out your husband, and even your kids if they knew. They're going to be the ones that will keep you going. And don't think that it was something you did that caused it!

Stay prayerful and pray to the Lord that he gives you the strength and courage to make it through each day one day at a time. Hospitals usually have counseling for this situation or your church. If you don't belong to one there's several prayer lines that you can call to speak to someone. One number is 800-541-PRAY or 888. You have a few weeks to get yourself at least in a better mood before Christmas, and celebrate the birth of God instead of it just being the holiday sort of speak. I miscarried right before Thanksgiving and was released from the hospital the day before, so celebrating the true meaning of the holiday helped me. And receiving prayer from several lines of counseling, my church and family helped me tremendously.

I know how difficult it is, but the Lord blessed me a year later and now I have my daughter who just turned 8. So he doesn't put more on us than we can bare. Pray to him for your heart to heal and your lesson to be revealed out of this tragedy. You all will make it through, I did and countless others.

Praying for you to be healed and delivered from your grief,

A.

Oh gosh I soooooo know what your going through. I had a miscarriage last december 8th. The baby's heart stopped somewere in the 7th week, but I carried until my 11th week not knowing a thing. I was devastated. I do have a happy healthy little boy, but we were so looking forward to this addition to our family. WE also were going to tell everyone at x-mas and it was very hard to deal with this. It was also hard to deal seeing a friend of mine who would've been due a month before me, go through her preganncy with no problems. I guess I dont have much advice for you on how to deal because everyone needs to deal with it in their own way. I had a very hard time with this, but I know others who have just moved on without a blink of an eye too. I definitly greived. And the few people that did know, I felt didn't understand how I felt. I believe they just wanted me to "move one, it's probably for the best" I am praying for you rachael. Hang in there.

I think anyone reading this and who has had a miscarriage will cry for your loss. I'm so sorry to hear about it. I know it can be very hard, especially since you know the outcome and all the great joys it brings. I personally told people when I had my miscarriage, so if I randomly started to cry, they understood and they didn't think I was just weird. Your body still has all the hormones, so you will still have rollercoaster emotions. As far as christmas parties, still go, but just tell your husband ahead of time that you might want to leave early. Also, just pack a small thing of tissues, just incase. Christmas is time to celebrate the birth of our Lord and when you feel sad, just remember that your child is when Him now and looking down at you. I'm sure you will hear a lot of people tell you that you have two beautiful kids now and it will be okay, but really, it doesn't make it any better, you lost a child. There are really no words of encouragement that I heard that made me feel better. You have to have a grieving period. Also, just to worn you, if you knew your childs expected date it will be a hard day because you will remember that you should be giving birth on that day. We still light a candle for our child and his/her birthday, we feel it is important to remember them....but that is just what we personally do. Just know God has a reason for everything and he thought you would be strong enough to journey through this with Him.

R.,

My heart goes out to you on your loss, there is no easy way to deal with this kind of grief. By your post I see you believe in the love of God and that is where you need to get your support right now. For whatever reason your pregnancy ended and your unborn child is back in God's care.
Now you need to lay your grief at his feet also and let him carry that load. I too lost a baby when I was that far along, it was my first, and after 20 years I still wonder what that child would have been like. I was blessed with two more children but I can say that the emply, sad feeling did not leave until I finally had that first baby. Life is bittersweet, we receive wonderful blessings (children) and suffer terrible losses (miscarriages) but remember that God is always there with you. As you go to your parties and celebrate the holiday remember the reason why we celebrate and make that your focus. There is a lot of life still ahead of you and many blessings to come, try to keep that in mind when the tears want to overtake you. I'll keep you in my prayers.

S.

R.,
First of all, my prayers are with you! I know this is not an easy time. I too had a miscarriage this year... on July first our little angel daughter went to be with Jesus. I was 18 weeks along. I also have two precious boys at home to be thankful for. I think that is what has pulled me through my rough times. The best thing you can do is count your blessing and know that it is okay to cry! Your emotions are very real and need to come out and that is okay. Go to the parties that you would like to this holiday season, but know that if you can't handle it once your there and you need to just leave and go home to cry, that is okay too! It has been over six monthes for us and I still cry at times. We lost a precious child, it's okay to miss them but remember that our babies went to a far better place and one day we will see them again!
God Bless & take care.

I am sorry for your loss! I too had one 6 yrs. ago. It was sad, but I told myself everything happens for a reason. It took me about 4-6 weeks before my levels were back to normal. I got teary eyed very easy also. We waited a couple months to try again and we now have a beautiful healthy 5 yr. old boy! Good luck to you! and you do what you feel is right JUST for you! Take care of yourself for right now.

You are mourning. Nobody would expect you to hide your emotion. Also, when I had my m/c, a good friend reminded me that my body thinks it just had a baby, only I didn't get to bring that new baby home. You are postpartum, your body doesn't know the difference. All of my friends/family knew that I was pregnant, and it turned out to be a blessing because I really needed all of those people for support after I lost the baby. I think you need to share your news, still, of course in a different form...but your family wants to support you, Im sure! But don't be afraid of emotion...grieve when you need to...you've suffered a loss!

~L.

Hi R.-I am so sorry for you loss. I can't imagine how sad you must feel especially at this time of year. I think that people would understand if you aren't able to "keep it together" at the parties and I think it would be good for you to have them as additional support during this sad time. I will keep you in my prayers.

Dear R. - I am so sorry for your loss - and no matter how many others share their own grief & pain with you, it won't change the way you're currently feeling. I lived through 6 miscarriages - and had no living children with any of them. Since, I managed to carry two girls full term that are well, active & healthy. After I had my first child, the pain I felt from all my miscarriages sort of, went away. I focused on the blessing I had in front of me, and nothing else really mattered. The first miscarriage I encountered was also, at Christmastime! It was devastating because we had been trying for 6 years at this point (it took another 4 years before I conceived & carried to term). And, it was our 'present' to our family, we shared it with them as our gift to them. But I made it through, and you will too. It will be hard, but try to focus on the blessings you have in front of you. And don't worry about what others will think if you cry, or run from a room - you will soon discover that so many people have experienced what you have, and so many people will be loving & supportive. I once ran out of a church during a baptism...I just couldn't take it any longer! But even the mother, who I apologized to profusely, was so sympathetic, and very forgiving!
Hang in there - it DOES get better! Remember that your baby was not meant to be - and perhaps could have lived a difficult life - more than any little body should have endured. You're in my thoughts! Have a blessed season!

Hi R., people can be of comfort to you at this time, and share their own experiences with you, this will help, but everyone deals with grief in their own way. I don't believe much, except time can help you heal. I personally have never been through something so difficult, my heart goes out to you. I think you should share your story, friend's, and family, your husband, and beautiful daughters will help alot. Merry Christmas & best of luck to you and your family, to have a laughing, silly, & happy holiday.
B.

I have no advice - I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I have lost a child and there was nothing anyone could say or do to help me. Just try to look through your daughters eyes this Christmas. I wish you the best!

R., I am so sorry for your loss. Fourteen years ago, my daughter, Cheyenne was stillborn. I absolutely wanted to die. I still visit her grave and I am still very sad. This is something that will never go away but each day does get easier. Maybe you should consider spending a quiet, intimate Christmas at home with your family. Enjoy your daughters. Enjoy your husband and relax. It's all still very new and your hormones are also playing a huge part in your emotions. I promise you that you will feel better soon. When spring gets here, plant a tree in honor of your unborn child. This Christmas, hang an ornament on the tree in memory of your baby angel. Just know that your angel is watching over you always. God bless you. You are more than welcome to email me if you ever need someone to talk to.
____@____.com

R., I am sorry for your loss. You seem to be handling it well. God is good! I think the best comment I have ever heard from a man whose wife just miscarried in the 5th month was: "That little stinker just had to beat us to heaven!" Even in their sorrow, they knew he was safe in Jesus' arms. I don't know if this will help you, but I pray it does. Just keep turning to Him. I pray God's peace to you and yours, L.

I lost a baby at 12 1/2 weeks just days after starting to tell people. It was completely awful. There is really nothing anyone could have said to help me but be there to listen to me cry. It is so common. After people found out, I heard about so many miscarriages I had never heard about. If you start crying, people will understand. They will also understand if you leave abruptly. It's not easy and only time will lessen the pain. I just told myself that something was not right with the baby so God took him/her to be with him. I hope you can find some joy this holiday season!

I am so sorry you have had to go through this. I have had two miscarriage this year and it doesn't get easier. I still cry sometimes when I see a baby or pregnant person. I really can't tell you how to not cry all I can say it it is healthy to cry and get it all out.Also I found a site called misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com

It is for anyone who's had a miscarriage and there are so many people going through the same things that you can talk to and vent when something sets you back. It's a great group of women. please check it out. It is main thing that has helped me through my miscarriages.

If you need anything please feel free to e-mail me as well.

Hi R. -

I am so sorry for your loss. There is no pain greater than when you lose a child. I miscarried my son at 18 1/2 weeks in 2005 and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him. Fortunately though...as the old saying goes...time heals all wounds. You will certainly never forget, but this terrible loss will find its place and you will be able to move on.

I would imagine it would be even more difficult during the holidays, so I empathize with you. And the decision as to whether or not you attend those parties should be up to you and what you are emotionally ready for. I agree that you do have much to celebrate with your existing family and you will find the joy. It will be difficult to see pregnant women and newborns for a little while, but keep in mind..you will see them! At the mall, when you are out etc., so if you can, try and look past that if you decide to attend the parties. Try and think about the positives in your life right now and the blessings that are right in front of you to help you through the difficult time...kids are wonderful distraction! And for the rest, let the emotions come naturally. Don't fight them or bury them and don't let anyone tell you how you should or should not be feeling (unless your emotions really spiral downward). It will be difficult to face people, but I found it wasn't as hard as I would have expected. Everyone will have nothing but empathy for you.... especially the pregnant women!

God has a greater plan, even though it isn't always easy for us to understand. My heart goes out to you during such a difficult time.

I am so sorry for your loss. Children are a precious gift from God. Keep your eyes on him and you will get thru this difficult time. The pain or loss that you are feeling is totally normal. You need to cry, so do it when it is ok to. I had a therapist tell me that it was ok to deal with the pain of not being able to conceive children when I was ready to deal with it. It allowed me to function as I was also consumed.

Hang in there!

S.

R., I am so so sorry for your loss :(
Here is a website helped me a lot: http://www.pregnancyloss.info/ She used to have wonderful online forums too, but even without those now, the site has great supportive information. I think there are online forums also on the WebMD site.

take care,
C.

R.-

I'm so sorry for your loss. Three years ago, we lost a baby at 11 weeks (on Dec. 14th). We were also planning to tell people about our pregnancy over Christmas.

I think you should be gentle with yourself to get through the holidays. Do what you want to do, not what you think you need to do. Sometimes we seem to put too much pressure on ourselves. Your girls will have a wonderful holiday no matter how many parties they go to-that is the wonderful thing about kids.

One thing that helped me was to only go to parties for a short time. If I knew we were leaving after an hour, instead of after four or five hours, I found it easier to be present.

The other thing we did was to tell our friends and family about our loss. People were really supportive and understanding and we didn't feel so much like we had to "pretend" that nothing was going on when, in fact, we were really grieving.

I hope you get lots of good support in the days ahead.

M.

R.,

I am very sorry. I will keep mines brief. I miscarried as well. I have a son. I would recommend not forcing yourself to go to every party. I was invited to a baby shower the week I miscarried. I went early, played with baby and left. If you feel you must go, carry a bottle of eye drops, take your moment in the bathroom. You will get through this.

R.-

Your situation is very similar to mine when I suffered a miscarriage. I had two daughters close to the same ages as yours, and was about 9 weeks along when I miscarried on Christmas Eve. It was a very difficult time for me. I cried for the entire night when the doctor confirmed what I already knew was coming. The really difficult thing is you are still pregnant and hormonal when you find out you are going to lose the baby. The hardest part for me was I still had to be mommy to my daughters while I was grieving inside. It will take you a while to get back to your normal self, but you'll get there. The few months after it happened I found myself crying over things that I normally wouldn't,even though it had nothing to do with my loss, and I know now that I was still mourning.

I took comfort in telling my friends about it when I was ready and talking with others who had suffered a miscarriage. I felt better knowing that I was not alone and you would be surprised how many people have been through this same thing. One fifth of pregnancies unfortunately end in miscarriage, so you probably know a lot of people who have lost a baby, but it isn't something that comes up in conversation. I didn't know how many others I knew until I started sharing my experience - most of my friends have suffered such a loss.

We all deal with things differently, but it has now been almost two years since my miscarriage, and it is not something that I think about too often. It doesn't make me cry to think about it,even though at the time it seemed like my whole world was crashing down. I really feel, in my case, that things worked out for the best. I was able to get pregnant again soon afterward and had a typical pregnancy which resulted in my third beautiful daughter.

I do believe that God has reasons for everything and some of them aren't known to me yet. It may sound crazy to some people, but I am actually thankful that I experienced the miscarriage. I certainly didn't feel that way at the time and I definitely wouldn't want to go it again. However, I took a lot of positive things from the experience once it was behind me. The support of my husband helped me to feel even closer to him. I can better support friends who go through this because of the empathy I now have. Maybe someday one of my daughters will have the same unfortunate thing happen to her, and I will better be able to give her the support and understanding she needs, having been there once myself. It really strengthened my faith,as well.

I think that you will find yourself feeling a little better as Christmas draws nearer. Time really does help, and you are still so close to it. You might want to plan a little alone time, as you need it, to let yourself think/cry, whatever you need to do. I think you will find yourself to be stronger than you realize and be able to focus on the joy of the season for the sake of your other children. No one will judge you if you need to run to the bathroom to cry, though :)

Let us know how you are coming along. Bless you and your family in this difficult time.

J.

Rach,
I'm with you, girlfriend. I've been through 3. The second I was about your age. I was 34, and it was this time of year. And of all my pregnancies, this turned out to be a girl. But I was in the teens set of weeks along. And there doesn't seem to be any rhyme nor reason. Hang in there tho.
Maybe it would be prudent to just under the circumstances not go to the parties where there will be pregnancies and newborns around. You can still have a nice Christmas.

Y'know as sad as this particular miscarriage was, it was the nicest. I was at U/M and they cover every possible ground. They were so much more upset than me during the telltale ultrasound. Reason? They'd made me drink a huge amount of water first before doing the scan. I ended up being so desperate to get off the exam table and pee, after all that water! But they took a polaroid photo and put it in Gwen Frostic notepaper with all the stats. I thought that was incredibly touching. And Santa was being 'delivered' by a crane to the children's hospital there. Sure I cried.
But Rach, remember that this is the season/holiday of hope. You'll survive and there's no reason you can't have another baby. You just need to allow yourself to cry and grieve. And people will understand; don't sell them short. Gather with your family and let them all love you, because they do anyway, loss or no loss.
And you've got friends here too. You take care, okay?

R.,

I am so sorry for your horrible loss. Several years ago I went through a similar experience during the holidays. It was difficult to participate in the holidays that year, but looking back, being around family and friends was the blessing and the gift behind all of the grief. In time, the pain will lessen and the grief will fade. It happens faster when you have the support of loved ones surrounding you. Share your sad news to those close to you and cry on a few shoulders. Then, dry your eyes and count all of the blessings still around you.

God Bless.

Hi Rachael,
I've been relating so much with your 2 recent posts. After reading this one I had to see if you were the one I related to around 8 wks with no symptoms. I responded that I also had no symptoms. The friday after thanksgiving I started red spotting. I had a couple of ultrasounds which confirmed I had miscarried. I would have been 10 wks the next day. I can relate so much with the feelings you wrote about. I've been feeling the same way. We were going to tell my husbdands family when we all got together for the holidays. There are babies and pregnant women everywhere I go. I can't help but to be a bit envious. I am also blessed with a 21 mo old amazing daughter which helps a little but I can't help to be sad. I know she will be a wonderful big sister one day. I just wanted it to be this time. I wanted to thank you for writing your message. It really hit home for me. Feel free to send a message and vent anytime.

Dear R.,
I am very sorry to hear of your miscarriage. I, too, had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and it was devastating. My baby was the only natural child that my husband and I would have had. We did adopt a beautiful daughter after trying for another year following, and we couldn't be happier with our precious angel who is now 5 yrs old.
I was not sure how I would get through the grief I felt when we miscarried, and no one will ever understand your pain, other than someone who has suffered the same loss. All I can tell you is that it will get easier with time, the loss and grief never go away, but it does get lesser.
I have a couple thoughts here and you can take them or not, I dealt by believing that if God had meant for this child to be with us, we would have it. There could have been something terribly wrong that would have caused pain and suffering. I believe that there is a reason for everything, and I believe that something was very wrong with our natural child and we were meant to have our Maddie, which may not have happened had our natural child been born. I think, though it is easy to say and not so easy to live, that you should feel VERY blessed with your loving girls and husband. So many couples can never have their own or any at all. You have been blessed with 2 daughters and you still have time to try again, if you feel you want to. Almost every woman I know has suffered from at least 1 miscarriage, it is a very common thing, unfortunately, but believe that what happened to you was in some way a blessing, and you will go on.
Your family and friends will be there for you if you still need to share with them at the holidays. And since you just lost your baby, your hormones are still out of whack, which will make you more sensitive and tearful for awhile.
I wish you happiness and strength throughout the holidays. I hope that you will be able to find joy in all the love and family that are with you now.

Sincerely,
S. K

R. - I am so sorry for your loss. I too had a miscarriage at 12 weeks before my first child and it was devastating. I think you have to accept that you will feel sad at this time and it is okay to feel that. You know how you adore your two other children but you still have this sense of loss. All I can say is that try to put a brave face on at the parties and go for short periods so that it doesn't overwhelm you. I would also say one thing - your other two children are very small and you are very young. I am a much older mom - 44 and my kids are 14, 11 and five. Some people would say that it is too spread out but it is such fun having kids at different stages and the older two adore the little one - and help me out a lot with him. As you are so young, there is no rush for you to have this third baby straight away. Give your body time to recover. It sounds trite but time really is the only healer - in a few months you will feel so much better than you do now. Best of luck - Alison

Hi R.,
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.. I haven't experienced a loss like your's, but my friend just went through this in Feb. She finds comfort in speaking with other moms in the same situation so let me know if you'd like her contact info.

Again very sorry...

Oh R., I'm so sorry about the loss of your baby. I am thinking of and praying for you and your family - may God wrap you in his love and neverending peace, during this season.
I lost a baby in 2005, and my heart still hurts a little bit for "what should have been". But God has used my miscarriage to the good of His Glory. May he do so for you.

Blessings to you,
B.

I know you've heard it many times........but I am so sorry for your loss!!!!!! I have been there twice. Only time helps and believe it or not being around family and friends really does help. I know that for me it was easier to have my husband let family know what happened and to also tell them not to treat you differently. It was when everyone kept talking about it that it hurt so bad and the tears never stopped. I just wanted to mourn in private or if people wanted to talk one on one any other time, then that was fine. But to be at a family function, I just asked that they not talk about it at that time. We felt guilty sometimes too that we were laughing and trying to have a good time, but that is also something we need to do to help get through this hard time. Again I am very sorry for your loss, the pain will lessen, but you will never forget. When I think about either one or the due dates go by, I still get a twinge and the first one was twelve years ago and the second was 2 years ago. One of my best friends also was pregnant at the same time as my second loss and her due date was about three weeks before mine, but she delivered on my due date. That just about did me in. It makes it easier to remember her sons birthday, but it still hurts too!!!! I will pray for you and your family to help get through this hard season!