Depression - Ottawa,IL

You are in a tough spot, and i wouldn't trade places with you. I just had my last baby in January, and I felt the same way from about three months until about a month after I delivered. To make matters worse, my in-laws were constantly making unannounced visits, and my husband was too stressed out to even want to touch me. Eventually we found out that I had low iron in my blood. Taking the supplements helped a little. The only things that really made me feel better was going to the gym. I know it is tough, but try to look at the bright side. . .soon this will all be over! Good luck!

G.,

Sometimes there can be a physical reason for depression - please call your doctor today and tell him/her or their nurse that you feel miserable (don't hold back) and especially about your itchy skin and that you don't want to see anyone.

I developed hypothyroidism during my last pregnancy - didn't recognize the symptoms as I thought it was due to hormones... depression, dry skin, fatigue and weight gain are all symptoms of thyroid problems (but these are also symptoms of pregnancy & can be easily overlooked, so be sure & talk with your Doc asap). If it is thyroid, it's very easily fixed and determined with a simple blood test.

I also have allergies and pregnancy can make them worse, there are some allergy medications that are safe - ask your doctor about it. Meantime for itchy, puffy eyes - try running cold water over two tea bags, ring out and lay on your closed eyes, repeat as necessary - they will draw out the itch and help puffiness.

when you pamper yourself right now, you are also pampering your little one.

hugs,

W.

The depression should lighten in the next few weeks. I was terribly depressed till about 15 weeks during my current pregnancy.

One thing I did was GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. I kept myself super busy. I ignored my silly feeling about how I looked (I've had a rash on my face since about week 8), and just went out and tried to have a good time with lot of play dates. Focusing on my daughter got me through it. I suggest you ignore the silly thoughts in your head and get a moving. It will pass. You are pregnant, you look beautiful no matter what!

Hi G.,
I would like to say take one day at a time. People underestimate the effects of any kind of health changes on the body. Pregnancy can have very profound effects on some women, and if you are unaware of them, you or anyone can feel down, overwhelmed and discouraged. In my opinion, two things that are key during pregnancy and motherhood is faith and family/friends. Sometimes you have to do the opposite of what your feeling to overcome whatever challenge you are dealing with. For example, if you feel discouraged about something, do something fun and encouraging, like do things with family or friends even when you don't feel like it. Not often, but on certain occasions and it will get better with time. Try this in other areas of your life, and you will see a change. Also, if you think you might need professional support, go and get help.

I am telling you this because my children were born two years apart, and I went back to work full-time(teacher) after the birth of each one. It was very hard with my husband working full-time, and not alot of resources for childcare. The finances were in total disarray, so I understand how these challenges can make you feel. I just want you to know that you are not alone, and many families are faced with the same thing, they just seek out the necessary support to help overcome and cope with these kind of issues.

You are in my prayers, and I know you will have a happy, healthy child!

All the Best!

Hi G. Try talking to OB/GYN about your feelings. Try using Nivea or Shea Butter on your skin. You may want to seek counseling about your depression. Because you have six more months to go before the baby is born. Try not to isolate yourself from people this only make matters worse. It seems like many people are having financial difficulities but keep in mind it always someone who worse off then you!!! Just keep praying. God doesn't close a door without opening up a window.

Every pregnancy is different. You are very wise to realize that you need help for depression and can get help from your doctor's office. If your next appointment is a month away, call and ask to see your doctor sooner. Taking walks is a good idea to get some fresh air. Depending on where you live, you may be able to walk at your local mall in the morning (ie Fox Valley Mall is open for people to walk through and is a nice place to walk on the challenging weather days). It is good for you to connect with other Moms and also for you to consider writing in a journal about how you feel and what's happening every day. Please do let us know that you are getting help!

G. - What you could try on the dry skin is soaking a warm water bath for about 20minutes than lather up on the lotion. My Allergist said this is the best to hydrate the skin. Sounds crazy but it does work. My 2 year old had horrible dry skin and within two days it cleared up doing this, Plus it is free!!

Sounds like you might be depressed and should someone. I know your feelings are very strong - but you are a Mom and you need to be stronger but please reach out to someone. If you belong to a church see about the Paster or Priest. Your Babies need you - and need you to be happy. I will pray for you!

Hi G.,

First, I would like to send you a big big hug. I feel the same way you do in many aspects. I am 17 weeks, and my skin is on and off bad. I don't have the option to spend tons of money on products. I don't feel like being around many people and I am not interested in much affection from my boyfriend. My boyfriend is very affectionate all the time and I feel smothered. Also, I can sort of only deal with people one on one and not in big groups. I tend to hide from dinner parties and after work outings. My boyfriend is very unhappy with this. I have not gained too much weight yet but there are days where I am so bloated that I feel I need to lay in bed all day. For me, I have had to make ME time. It is driving my boyfriend nuts but it is at least meeting him half way. I have really pushed myself to meet up with a friend for coffee or have one over for lunch so that I do socialize a bit. Because my doctor has said that my symptoms seem quite typical for someone who is learning to wind down he asked me to make baby steps for myself and explain to my boyfriend what these little steps are so that I set the expectation and follow through. Last week, we had a friend over for dinner and it was one of my boyfriend's friends so we had a nice dinner and then the guys spent the rest of evening talking and I had time to myself after. I also have asked him if just the two of us could go for a walk a couple times a week so that we have some type of activity planned. I am not sure if this helps you but my mental state has really put stress on my boyfriend and I know that I need to do a few things like the scheduling of a walk or coffee with a friend to keep a schedule and make the days easier to get through while I am feeling low energy and on some days just plain miserable. It is not much but it helps and I also feel like I am doing something for myself. I do understand I have some depression but I am pushing myself so I don't feel I need to look into the risks of taking the meds while pregnant.
Good Luck to you, I hope others have good solutions for you. V

Hi G.,

Depression is fairly common in pregnancy esp with all the hormonal changes taking place. Given your symptoms it would be a good idea to schedule an evaluation with a therapist or psychiatrist (a psychiatrist esp if you are having thoughts of harming yourself). If you are having any thoughts of harming yourself or anyone else you should just go to an ER for an evaluation there. Studies have shown that babies of depressed mothers have better outcomes if the mothers are adequately treated for depression during pregnancy. Hope this helps!
M.

G... I read a few of the responses before I chose to put this little add-on. That one from Wendy really sounds good.. CALL YOUR DOCTOR.. and DON'T HOLD BACK..!! They can't help if they don't know what's wrong.. so tell 'em !
But as to the financial thing.. not a LOT I can do there but comiserate.. but I did find a rather cool site you might like.. called FREECYCLE.COM ,, It's a site you can go to, to find some of the things you might need..but can't afford for your home and family..and also get rid of "too good to throw away..but they're IN the way", type items. It was designed to help keep good, useable items out of landfills. And the way it's set up.. you mostly only talk and get messages from people close to your area. Check it out. I've given away a microwave someone needed..( I wound up with 4 due to the good intentions of friends and family) and got a snugglie carrier for my newest grandson due right before Christmas ( I'm SOOO.. excited !!) There are a few things I still need to help accomidate the little guys when they come over to grandma's but I feel I'll be able to get them this way.
I wish you all the best..congrats on your newest little love..and my prayers are with you and yours... and CALL THAT DOCTOR !! (had too .. I'm a Mom and Grandma.. it comes with the territory ;)

G... my heart goes out to you.. I've been there. Thank God that I had such a wonderful dr who recongnized it right away. I found it hard to imagine I was experiencing depression. (I was pregnant too) They put me on meds.. it took over 2wks before I didn't feel like leaving it all behind. The medicine worked.. I felt more like myself after that and more every day there after. Don't think you can do this all by yourself.. it might be beyond your control like me. Talk with a professional and let them help you. God bless and be well.. xo

You are not alone and this is very common. I know I am 28 wks with my 2nd and I have been on highs and lows. i did not have this with my first and I was beginning to think that I was bi-polar. It is hard and when you through the financial problems in there it is overwhelming. Your feelings are completely valid. I understand!!!! It is hard being pregnant as your hormones fluctuate and you start feeling out of control. Having the right support can really help. I would be more than happy to talk with you as I have felt that way too. I am SAHM too and I know it can be rough. Feel free to e-mail me anytime ____@____.com.

Sincerely,
Robin

Congratulations on your pregnancy! First, talk to your OB/GYB about the depression and the allergies. About your dry skin, I have incredibly dry skin even when I'm not pg - you can get a good moisturizer for cheap - there are many options at Target, Walmart, etc. Use it morning and nighttime, without fail. Also hydrate from the inside out and by this, I mean DRINK A TON OF WATER. Water is free! And it will make a HUGE difference in your skin. I drink close to 64 oz a day. You pee a lot, but your skin feels better :) I hope you can get out of this first trimester and experience more excitement about your new baby. I'm pg with my third and the first two are under 4, so it's different, challenging, and frustrating at times. You can do it. But definitely talk to your doctor. God bless you and help you through this!

Please talk to your doctor about your feelings. It is possible to be depressed while you are pregnant and she can help you with that. Whether that be therapy or prescribing an anti-depressant. Other women feel like this too, so you are not alone. Please call your doctor and make an appointment right away. :)

Hi G.,
First of all congratulations for ur pregnancy. I would only say that although depression in pregnancy is mostly hormonal, you can get rid of it. Just tell urself repeatedly....I do not want to sit alone and go onto depression, I want to be around people and enjoy my precious 3rd delivery. Yes, just being little positive about urself you will feel way better.
I am sure you eat healthy like lots of veg and fruits and so should not worry abt ur weight at all. Just keep doing few minutes of walking or whatever is allowed in pregnancy.
Financial problems come and go in life. Me and my husband both are from a very well-to-do families in India. When I got pregnant, my husband's company sent him here and so I came here to U.S. after my 1st trimester. We did not bring any money from India and my husband though in IT was paid very less. I had no friends in a new Country and was without any money to spend even on food. We both tried to be strong and I ate whatever we could afford (not whatever I wanted to).We did not want to go back for that would have been like quitting.
Now when everything is going smooth (we have saved enough money) and after 6 yrs we will be going back to India for good, I feel proud that I could have gone into depression and I did'nt as I did not want to.
For ur dry skin, try little olive oil on ur face or oatleal creams.
I am sorry for a long response. Just tried to help you. Feel good abt urself and everything will be good. All the best to you and ur family!

M.