Down in the Dumps but I Really Have a Great Life

Updated on May 03, 2011
J.S. asks from Denton, TX
13 answers

Ok Momma's so I have written about this before but I guess I'm having a down day.

I have a great husband that is also a great Daddy to our two boys, he treats me well and even helps out around the house. Like I said we have two boys that are the light of our lives, they are truly so much fun each and everyday. I work full time; I like my job and the people I work with but am discourages as I havent gotten a raise in almost 4 years (the economic down turn is the answer here). I also own a sewing business and do this out of my house. We bought a house last year in a great neighborhood near great schools. We are close to both my parents and my husbands parents. I have a good group of friends, some have drama filled lives and I try to stay away from that.I have Alopecia and am bald but I'm actually seeing this as a blessing because it takes me no time at all to get ready. We live on a very tight budget and cant buy extras but what we do have is enough.

Here is the problem, I can't seem to be happy. I know I have a great life and fantastic family but I just can't seem to be happy anymore.

Anyone in the same boat?

Added: My hubby and I get out for a "date night" probably once a month, like I said I have great parents and great in laws. I started my sewing business because it was something I was interested in and it really keeps me busy. Other than that I love to read on my Nook and go for walks. My boys keep me busy pretty much all the time, but I do try and get out for "Mommy Time" at least once a week even if it to just go to the store. I will start looking into volunteering, I think this would be a great family project also.

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So What Happened?

Added: I actually stopped taking my bc pills almost 3 months ago to see if it would help with hair growth. I have been growing hair for almost 7 wks now.

Featured Answers

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

I went to a doctor that did a complete blood screen on me and found out a few hormones and other things that I needed. It made all the difference for me!! I would get that done and then go from there.

1 mom found this helpful

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

My suggestion is to do volunteer work. Go work in the womens shelter every other week. You can help repair thier clothing, put your talents to good use. That will give you a lift to be sure. It's also helpful to gt a good workout routine going. That's a real self esteem booster and stress reliever. Releases endorphins and all.

5 moms found this helpful
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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

You sound bored and restrained by your meagre budget. You should spend time with your friends and celebrate the good times. Listen to someone else's story and sometimes theirs will make yours seem like nothing. You have to try and be happy inside. Things do not make you happy, God and people do (the right people that is). Look outside of yourself is what I am saying and it will help you see the bigger picture. All the best!

4 moms found this helpful
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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm going to second the volunteer work. "They" say that giving to others is the one sure thing that makes people happy.

By the way, one of the things you might be able to do is work with kids with Alopecia. A middle school kid I worked with last year had it, and it had made his life very difficult, starting from a young age. You might be just the person to help kids like him.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.Y.

answers from Chicago on

Here is something that my family does a few times a year that really brings it home for me how lucky we are and how much we have.

We have a "gratitude tree" twice a year. Spring and October (leading up to Thanksgiving). We put at least one leaf on the tree every night at dinner . On the leaf we each write something that we are grateful for or a blessing in our life. This really shifts the focus in your thinking to what you have to be grateful for. Our whole family really gets into this. It is fun to see the tree fill up and wonderful to hear your kids express gratitude as well as to share your gratitude with your family. I love to save the leaves. We also love to invite others over when we have this up to have them put a leaf on the tree. This is a great project for the whole family to get involved in.

Start with making a big tree trunk out of those big brown yard bags sold at home depot. Cut it up and use the inside part of the bag as a tree trunk and branches. Just cut them out however. Use the blue painters tape to tape them on a wall. Then cut out a bunch of different shaped leaves and put them in a bowl on your table along with markers. Then everyone gets to choose a leaf, marker and decide where to put it on the tree.

It is fun to see the tree fill up and to see how many blessings you really have and how much you have to be grateful for. Kids love this.

Not feeling this crafty or energetic? Pick up a journal book or big calendar at Target and do the same idea. Have everyone in the family write what they are grateful for.

You will see a shift in your thinking and find yourself looking for blessings/gratitude to put up on your tree.

Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You should try talking to a naturepath doc...I am really starting to believe more and more in the relationship between what we eat and how we feel. I have seen first hand how minerals and supplements can cure what traditional medicine cannot. It is worth a try. If not this then maybe a light antidepressant would do the trick.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

I am sorry you feel this way. I have felt this way too at times and found that the best medicine is to get outside at least an hour a day, exercise (I walk while outside), see other people (preferably happy people - not friends that you are in the habit of feeding off each others problems), and try to eat somewhat decently and drinks lots of water. If you are trying to do something big right now like be on a really restrictive diet or achieve any big goal that is causing guilt/stressing you out give it a rest for awhile.

If that doesn't work go talk to your DR and try some anti-depressants. Sometimes the system just needs a reset chemically! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from San Antonio on

I will pray for you my dear!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.A.

answers from Orlando on

I just saw the movie "Soul Surfer". I tell you what, I have had an attitude adjustment the past few days. I was inspired by this young girl's ability to take a horrible situation & turn it into something good. Take some keenex with you if you go see it cause it is a tear jerker, but in a good way... Seeing this movie may not solve how you feel, but it can be a good start to feeling better.

I also recommend some supplements if you aren't already taking them. Acupuncture has also helped me feel better. My acupuncturist actually recommended the supplements that I am taking. I have found that it's not going to be one single thing that changes how I feel, but a combination of spiritual first of all, & a balance of food, supplements & exercise that will help me.

God Bless!

1 mom found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Redding on

I shouldn't complain about my life. I have stress that makes me sick and have high bp and colitis due to stress. I am happy most of the time, but have moments of sadness too. I also sew. I sew all the time I can. I refer to my sewing as my therapy. I need a lot of therapy. lol I mend and hem and make things for craft fairs and stores for a small income. But the thing I love the most is my Thursdays when I go to a church and meet a few other ladies and we make baby quilts to give to CPS. It's not hard, it's not fancy, we have no big rules. My corners don't have to match up cause that blankie will still keep a child warm. We make hundreds of them every year. It makes me feel more needed and useful than I can discribe. I don't attend this church except on Thursdays and altho they have invited me many times they never give me a hard time for not going on Sundays. I've gained a few new friends and get way more out of this group than I put in. Maybe you should take your sewing talent and do this sort of thing. There are groups at many churches and I'm sure you can find one that fits right with you. It will make you feel better, I'm sure.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Boston on

If you can find the time to volunteer, I think that is a great idea. Other suggestions are make time for a girls' night out (even if it is just hanging out at someone's house) or a date night with your husband (doesn't have to be costly - You can even make time for a movie after the kids go to bed). Is there anything you really like doing? A craft? Walks/hikes? Sometimes we get into ruts and just changing things up a little makes a big difference in happiness. Good luck!

T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

I hear you. You basically just explained my life, but I have narcloespy and work 60 hours a week. I can't seem to find any extra money to buy the extra stuff and my husband really wants to go on vacation, but we are just barley paying our bills. I took a cut in pay actually to get a full-time job (my office downsized while I was on FMLA). I took the first full-time job I was offered to keep our heads above water. Now I regret it and wish I would have taken the unemployment for longer than 2 weeks. :(

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Volunteering could be just the thing. Look for something for you and then, if you like it, see if your husband will like making it into a family thing. You may be feeling just a tad stale, and having other people to think about can help to remedy that.

Happiness is a feeling, and feelings come and go, sometimes with the speed of light. You can't really control feelings. But you can make sure you're healthy enough (had a checkup lately?) and make sure you're getting good nutrition, some exercise, and enough sleep.

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