Eventually Learn to Wean???

Updated on March 03, 2008
T.M. asks from Chesapeake, VA
17 answers

Okay now I have a few questions? First of all I am trying to make it to the one year mark until I stop breastfeeding though it has been difficult and can't belive I even made it this far. I had to quit within weeks with our first daughter but stood it out this time. And glad I did. Well I nurse my daughter about four times a day and pump once at night to freeze extra milk. I have no idea if this is enough. My daughter also eats about 2 to 2 and a half jars of stage 3 and a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. She still seems quite hungry after I nurse her and have been trying to figure out what to do as she becomes cranky, so I was trying to figure out if I should throw in the towel and wean her to the cup of breastmilk and try to make it until whole milk, or do breastmilk into formula into whole milk, if that makes since. I feel like I produce nearly not enough. I remember a time when our first born was getting 8oz of formula at a time and can't recall producing that much ever. If I did wean or when I do, how do I go about it from a moms point of view. Thanks so much in advance.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your responses. I can't say that I will be nursing beyond a year as it may not work for me, but hoping to get to the year mark. I think when Jasmine turns 11 months I will attempt to knock one feeding out at a time with a cup of breastmilk as I have tons in the freezer and go from there. With her sister that's how I got her from her bottle to cup at 6 months old exclusively. So wish we luck. Also I plan to introduce a lot more table food now as well, seeing that she has such a healthy appetite, not to mention the jars are expensive. Thank you all again.

P.S. She gets juice, about 2 oz every now and then diluted with 2 ozs water. She is 25% percentile on wieght and height, which I assume is good since I am 5 feet tall and 115lbs. I never planed to give her whole milk before one, and now see from replys to just duke it out as I don't want her to go through all the changes of three milks, so breastmilk to whole mike it is. Thanks so much everyone!!! :o)

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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

First, you can not tell how much milk you make by how much milk you pump. Babies are much more efficient at emptying a breast than even the best machine. I suggest at 10 months she can probably start eating some table food. I would mash whatever the rest of you are eating to a size she can handle and continue to breastfeed on her time table and let her eat her fill at meals. She will stop when she is full. As for the weaning, first congratulations for making it this far. It is a wonderful gift to give your child. Technicaly as soon as you start anything but breastmilk you have started to wean. If you feel you need to wean at a year then the way to do it is gradually with love. If you stop suddenly it will be very h*** o* both of you. I would drop a feeding and then let the two of you adjust and then drop another. Rather than tell her no when she asks to nurse I would anticipate her asking and offer her something else before she does or distract her with some other activity. Make sure you are substituting another snack if she is nursing to snack or another type of comfort if she is nursing for comfort. Contacting La Leche League may also be helpful.

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A.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a ten month old as well that I am still nursing but she has also been on solid food for four months, and I mean SOLIDS. We're talking apples, cheese, pasta, chicken, etc. I cut everything up really small and she has done fine with it - even though she just barely got her first two teeth last month. I did a little stage one baby food at first and that's pretty much it. You sound like, aside from baby food and oatmeal, she doesn't get real food. Maybe it's time to give her some real stuff in addition to the nursing. I will usually give my daughter three meals a day when I eat, and many times the same things I eat as well, and then nurse before her two naps and bedtime. If your daughter is anything like mine, she needs real food. I have been amazed at times to see how much that kid can put away, and yet will still ask for more.

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A.T.

answers from Norfolk on

I would skip the whole formula bit. Just go straight to the whole milk which they should be on anyway. The only issue with that is you can only give them about 16-20 oz a day or they will get anemic. Calcium interferes with iron absorption. In any case, cut out the middle man "formula" that you will eventually have to replace as well. Just go sraight for the whole milk.

Now is an excellent time to wean. If you wait too long, then it is harder. When they get past a year, then you run the risk of them pulling up your shirt in public when they decide they want it. LOL. Of course, all of that is up to you. I have talked to a lot of moms and those that wait beyond a year tend to have to nurse up to 2 1/2 or 3. Also, my pediatrician told me at that age, you should start offering the solids first, and then nursing. They get used to the solids being their main meal.

I am a SAHM too, but I do some temp work sometimes. My mom was watching my kids when I was working around xmas time, and that is when I decided to just go for it and wean him. So, you may want to try it when you have a little extra help from grandmom or dad. Start when your husband has a couple days off and can take over for you for soothing to sleep. The hardest part is around bedtime and naptime, because they are so used to having it to go to sleep. I would soothe my son by rocking, and then just put him directly in his crib. He would whine for about 5 minutes and then go to sleep. Now, it is great because he just goes to sleep on his own.

So, basically always offer the breastmilk AFTER solids and whole milk for awhile. Your baby will start to understand that the solids are their main source of food. Then arrange with hubbie to help out with soothing and meals for you when you take the plunge. It should only take a week or so, if you don't give in.

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W.S.

answers from Norfolk on

If your baby has been seen regularly by a doctor, and there is no concern about excess weight, I would nurse as you desire, and feed all recommended foods and whole milk if she indicates hunger. 10 months is a very healthy amount of time to breastfeed, whether she gets it from a bottle or direct from the breast. It is up to you when to wean fully, just do what seems best for you and the baby. If she's healthy, that's what is most important.

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A.S.

answers from Norfolk on

HI my name is A. and I have two boys, Jacob~7 and CJ~5. My friend, Wendy, has 6 kids and is expecting #7 in June. She is a high school math teacher so she pumped during the day so that the sitter could provide her baby with breastmilk bottles during the day. She nursed all 6 until they were one year. By ten months, she nursed first thing in the morning, and the babies would eat "breakfast" (usually rice/oatmeal baby cereal and a jar of fruit). Her babies got breastmilk mid-morning and then had stage 3 foods for lunch with dilluted juice (in cup if they could hold it by then) Then by mid-afternoon they would have a (dilluted) juice bottle. Later in the afternoon, closer to dinner,(depending on schedule - with kids of other ages / homework / etc) she would nurse her baby and then AT dinnertime, they were seated in the highchair and offered some soft table food and if they were acting hungry, a jar of babyfood. Wendy would nurse them one last time before bed, which for hers was around 8 or so. Wendy suggests that you start giving her some dilluted juice. She recommends that you give her whole milk after she is one year. If you can, utilize dilluted juice, breastmilk, baby, and table food to keep your baby satisfied. Wendy suggests putting formula off the list. It may disrupt her digestion. You don't mention juice or any other beverage that you are offering your baby. We both think that if you offer her some juice in a bottle or cup, she may be more content. Congratulations for nursing her this far! Most women don't nurse even for 6 months! It sounds like your body is adjusting to your baby eating more solid food. If you have doubts, check out www.lelecheleague.com - or call your ob/gyn and see if they have the number for a lactation consultant in your area. Good luck and God Bless!

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

I would stay away from cows milk for one entire year. If you must supplement, try a soy formula. Cows milk is the number one food allergy. It is very muchus forming and causes colds and sinus infections and ear infections. I commend you for giving your daughter the best . Breastmilk is the best milk. AF

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J.B.

answers from Richmond on

T., don't give up just yet! You have made it this far and have done a wonderful job. First let me ask, is your baby gaining weight? That is the number one indicator if you are producing enough milk. Second, the older your baby becomes, the more the baby is able to pull out of you, so your feedings may become shorter and it's just because baby has gotten good at pulling that out in big quantitiys. He/she gets what they need and are on their way to do some thing else. Does that make sense?? Last but not least, be careful not to introduce whole milk to baby just yet, wait until they turn a year old. The protiens in milk are hard to break down and can cause intestinal bleeding, not to mention they can become alergic to it if intro. to early. Sounds like you are doing a GREAT job! Of course you are the one who has to decide weather to wean or not and you have given your baby such a great start. There are sooooooo many components in breast milk that formula's can't come close to duplicating. So kudos to you and good luck
J.

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M.M.

answers from Norfolk on

Do you nurse her on a schedule or on her demand? Try following her cues on when to nurse. If she seems hungry still, add in a bit more on solids. By that age, my son was on breastmilk and table food. He nursed a few big sessions and many little suckles here and there throughout the day.

You've made it so far, don't give up. You can do it.

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S.M.

answers from Norfolk on

T., I wish I could be of more help. My oldest (now 2 1/2) self weaned at 9 months. Once he was walking that was it. I put him on a cup of breast milk with each meal at 4 months in addition to breast feeding (he never took a bottle). I followed his lead on weaning. He was given 3 meals a day and 2 snacks. After each one he was given the option to nurse if he wanted. He was too busy to latch on for more than a few moments and soon lost interest. From a Moms point, I say follow the baby, feed her plenty of variety of healthy food and the breast as a secondary. You can go to cows milk in 2 months I say just stick it out and wean to milk.

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Y.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Sounds to me like you are doing great! I have three little ones 6 and under, and they never were big eaters! I'm impressed by the amount of jarred food you can get into your daughter! A couple ideas for your breastfeeding question: remember that when she is nursing, she is getting a lot more than the little bit you are pumping by yourself. If she is getting crabby when she is done nursing, it might be that she is growing and needs a little more time on the breast, or she might be thirsty for something else throughout the day, like having a water sippy around for her to grab as she goes by. If you are wishing you could pump more milk for her, try adding a short session in the morning. Your body responds better after sleep and you produce more milk first thing in the morning, too. In any case, congrats on making it this far breastfeeding! I think too many of us still don't have the support we deserve when we are breastfeeding, especially after 6 months. HTH!

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S.W.

answers from Norfolk on

First off yes, your daughter will wean eventually. Some folks jokingly say....they all stop nursing before they leave for college :) In all seriousness though, just nurse her when she wants to nurse and give her whatever other foods she will eat and or drink. My 20 month old nurses several times a day and still eats lots food at meal times with us, and always has a sippie cup with water available to her and also drinks cow's milk. Children will self regulate their intake and not over eat or under eat if foods and drinks are available not made into an issue. Maybe your daughter is ready for more grown up foods instead of the stage 3 jars. As long as she is thriving weight wise and hitting her developmental milestones there is nothing really to worry with. Some great advice can be found at www.mothering.com or www.askdrsears.com.

Good luck and hang in there :)
S.

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D.R.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi T.,

You don't say how old your daughter is but if she's close to a year old, of course she's still hungry after you nurse her even if you did produce 8 oz of milk. At that age, milk just isn't enough. If you still want to nurse her until she's a year old, do. As I've said before, nursing is about more than just feeding. But don't expect her to thrive and be happy on breastmilk alone. You may have to supplement with formula along with her solid foods. The bottom line is, do what comes naturally. Don't stess about it, that only decreases your milk supply. Also, make sure that you are eating right, lots of green leafy vegetables and water, that helps with milk production. There will come a time when it is no longer practical, convenient, or comfortable to breastfeed and you can go to full time formula or milk. But do let her eat her solid foods, she needs it. Abuela

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A.B.

answers from Norfolk on

There is no reason to wean now or even at 12 months. It's recommended by the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Family Physicians to breastfeed along with complementary foods until at least 2 years and then for however long is mutually desired by mother and child. So long as your daughter is wetting several times a day and is not constipated I'd not worry about it. At that age baby should be getting about 32 oz a day of breastmilk or formula. I know it's hard to get an idea of what she's taking in, but you can do test weighs to see how much she is taking in at a feeding. First you weigh her, then you nurse her, then weigh again. Subtract the first weight from the second weight and that's how much she ate. A doctor's office or WIC clinic will have scales sensitive enough to take these measurements. With formula, it doesn't have the calories and nutrients as readily available as breastmilk, so you have to give them more in volume to get the same amount of nutrients and calories in. As to weaning being harder later and baby tugging at your shirt, my three month old tugs at my shirt when she's hungry. I understand that this is unacceptable in an older child and I don't tolerate it in my 2 year old. Breastfeeding manners are just like any other manners and it's all about what you let them get away with. I'm nursing both my girls and while the older one doesn't nurse more than maybe twice a day, usually once these days, it's been great when she's been sick and can't keep anything else down since she won't drink my milk in a cup.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

If you do not want to wean, then you need to breastfeed first, and offer the solids more as a dessert than as the primary source of nutrition. If she's filled up on solids, she won't nurse as much or as long, which will affect your supply. Try switching it around and getting your milk supply back up, maybe even laying off solids somewhat.

If you aren't in a hurry to wean, I encourage you to continue nursing through the first year. One year old babies tend to become really picky eaters since they aren't growing as fast, and if you're still nursing, you can be confident that they are receiving balanced nutrition even when the only solids they want are crackers and cereal.

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B.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I just asked my 10 mos old baby's doctor some similar questions and she said supplementing with formula at this point would do more harm than good. I give him 1 1/2 oz of juice mixed with 1 1/2 oz of water and she claims that it fine. As far as your question about the amount of formula you have given your previous child compared to the amount of breastmilk...formula is very different from breastmilk. A baby digests the two differently. It takes 6-8 oz of formula to equal 3-4 oz of breastmilk. Primarily b/c much of the formula goes right thru them whereas they use every bit of breastmilk. So don't worry about that part. hope this helps!

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S.L.

answers from Washington DC on

First, congrats on making it this far given your history of early weaning with Mariah. Even with challenges overcome, I'm sure you'd agree it's been well worth the effort knowing that you're giving her the best start. I agree with Anna's response and would add that even the American Academy of Pediatrics says to breastfeed for AT LEAST 1 year so there is no reason to wean unless you're both ready. How is your daughter's weight and other growth measures? If these are fine and she's developmentally approriate, you have nothing to worry about. Breastfeeding is the gold standard not formula. Formula fed babies tend to overeat (no natural cues to follow as it's hard to overfeed when latching) and are more prone to be at risk for overweight and obesity, so I definitely wouldn't compare how much you fed Mariah to what you're doing with Jasmine-it's really apples and oranges. If you've made it this far, you can do this! As babies eat more they start to drink less, but as long as she pees at least 3 times a day she's drinking enough. You can also give her 4-8 ounces of juice at this age (preferably from a cup).
As far as weaning, when you're both ready...one feeding at a time works well. That way your body will stop producing the milk gradually so you can avoid the uncomfortable engorgement that will come if you go cold turkey. Replace the feeding with some snuggle time or reading a book, something that will still give her the closeness without the breast being involved. My second son wasn't quite ready to wean fully until 18mo and even now asks for mommy milk almost a year after we stopped nursing last April!

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P.K.

answers from Norfolk on

What does this mean: I remember my first brown getting 8oz ?
Sometimes babes go through growth spurts and need more food.
The question is how is YOUR eating while you are nursing? High quality mom's milk, no caffeine, no sugar...is best!
My twins drink milk every 3 to 4 hours then get a tub & half
of food about an hour half their milk and they are 9 months.
I get my feeding down with my others kids to at bedtime only...from the breast to the cup. I would try Organic whole milk 1/2 gal, then if that doesn't set well go to 2 % and see how that is handled. I always use organice due to pesticides.
I nursed one child for 17 months but was totally over it at that point. He was a good eater, it was more for emotional pascifing...when I weaned him he started grabbing my neck when going to sleep instead of nursing that helped him emotionally. Hope that helps! God Bless!

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