First Pregnancy - HELP!!

Updated on July 01, 2014
M.H. asks from McKinney, TX
17 answers

We just found out I'm pregnant and I am realizing how LITTLE I know! I'm excited but SO nervous. There is just so much out there. Any advice or tips?

What did you do to prepare? Are there any products and/or routines you consider "lifesavers"?

Also, I have fibromyalgia but I'd like to remain active--cycling, yoga, walking. What have you done before and after pregnancy to stay fit?

Thank you so much!

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J.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

You can't really "prepare" as every pregnancy is different. I'm now pregnant with my second and it is soooo different from my last.

Stay away from the internet!!! With my first pregnancy, I was OBSESSED with researching everything about pregnancy, what could happen, what can go wrong, etc. That's all I did at work. And it was unhealthy. I think some research is good, but everything in moderation, right? A book that I found helpful was The Mayo Clinic's Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. Also Baby Bargains was helpful towards the end of my pregnancy when I was trying to decide what baby products to buy.

6 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I played volleyball while pregnant until I got too big to be able to forearm pass.
I worked in an animal hospital so my job kept me active.

2 moms found this helpful

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

For a great laugh, be sure to visit the STFU, Parents website or follow them on Facebook. It is a decent primer on how to handle being a parent in this age of digital media (I.e., it's not cool to post poop pictures on the Internet).

Baby Bargains was a good read, mostly for comparing products. If you choose to register, take a seasoned mom with you. The stores where you register will try to convince you that you need 12 special baby washcloths, 400 onesies, etc. remember they are trying to sell you a bunch of stuff. Have someone who's "been there, done that" help.

Take this piece of advice to heart: you are in the EASY phase. When that baby comes, things change dramatically. Don't get roped into thinking that once the baby comes out, things will all go back to normal. I'm not in any way suggesting this is a bad thing but just prepare for your life to be different.

Know that there is no "best" way to raise your child. If you want to nurse, fine. If you want to bottle-feed, fine. Don't get caught up in the "I have to do everything 100% perfectly, organically, and by the book" way of thinking. Find what works for you and avoid the over-zealous types (who don't live in your house and walk in your shoes and have to care for your baby) who will gleefully make judgmental sideline sanctimommy comments when you don't measure up to their way of parenting.

8 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Congratulations and you feel like most of us did when we first learned we were pregnant for the first time!!! It is normal for the emotions to go from thrilled to scared to death to what have I done and back to thrilled.

You do not have to change your lifestyle because you are pregnant.. It is not a disability. This is the time to read and educate yourself on parenting, planning for college (it happens fast!), and being a mom. You'll do great.

The only thing I cut out was alcohol. I maintained the rest of my regular diet, only gained about 28# and was back in pre-pregnancy shape in no time. I resumed walking first shortly after I got home from the hospital and ramped up my exercise routine as quickly as I could based on my Dr's opinion. I was healthy going into pregnancy and determined to continue to be healthy so I could be an active mom with my daughter.

I continued my exercise routine up until her delivery. I enrolled in an extra aerobics class at the hospital where I met other pregnant moms in various stages of pregnancy. I still have friends from that group of moms and with one mom, our children graduated together June 2013! My daughter is 19 now, just completed her first year of college and we were notified on Saturday that she made the Dean's List!!!

The one product I learned about with having a baby was baby wipes and to this day, I keep a case of them on hand for various clean ups, etc around my house. I LOVE baby wipes!

Congratulations again, and keep us updated on your progress!

ETA: I just noticed you are in McKinney.. we are practically neighbors!! Which hospital do you plan to deliver your baby? I was at Medical Center of Plano.

6 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

There's a lot you learn as you go.
No one is born knowing how to be a parent.
Rest, sleep, stay well hydrated, take snacks with you everywhere (I use to get hungry incredibly fast out of the blue and low blood sugar can get you into a nasty mood) if you are already active then keep it up (but don't start any new activity - you're center of balance is going to change over the pregnancy), swim as much as you can (if your doctor says it's ok) - it'll take some pressure off your back (you'll never want to leave the pool).
Crystallized ginger, ginger ale, mint tea, saltines will help if your stomach is acting up.
Sign up and go to any classes on infant care that your hospital might offer.
Try not to discuss baby names with friends/extended family unless you want to hear flack about what ever you want to choose.
Make your choice and just announce it after the birth - it saves headaches.
Congratulations!

4 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

First of all NO alcohol!! Be careful with over the counter meds. Some of them are not safe to use. Especially on the first trimester.

You can continue exercising as long as it is comfortable. Just be careful not to overdue it especially when your pelvic muscles start to loosen up. I just read about an Olympic runner who ran an 800 meter race at 8 months pregnant. Don't go out and start a new exercise routine or start a boot camp workout, but you can continue doing what you currently do. Your doctor can give you good advice. Look to see if your local Y or anywhere offers prenatal exercise classes. I took one that included walking, yoga, and water aerobics.

If you are planning to breast feed or even if you aren't sure if you want to, try to find a breast feeding class. Our hospital provided one and I learned so much from it!!

Eat healthy. There is no such thing as eating for two. The extra calories you need equal about a glass of milk. Take prenatal vitamins and be sure they include folic acid.

Take others' advice with a grain of salt. What worked for one person won't necessarily work for you. That is for everything from prenatal advice to baby advice. Cry it out did not work for us. Making my own baby food did not work for us. Being a stay at home mom did not work for me. Don't let anyone else make you feel like she is a better mom than you because her baby slept through the night at 6 weeks and only eats organic homemade food. Do what works for you and your family.

Don't feel obligated to listen to anyone else's pregnancy and delivery stories. I don't know what it is about comparing them, but it almost seems like a competition sometimes to see who has the worst story.

When you feel tired, sleep. It will be years before you can get a good nights sleep again. ;)

You won't need half of the baby gear that you think you will need or that the books say you need. I can't tell you how many things I had that I used onCe or twice. Some never even came out of the package.

A nursing pillow (or two) is great to have with a couple of extra covers for it. Even if you aren't planning to nurse they are great to have for helping to support baby when giving a bottle. I think burp clothes are essential. They can be used for so many things. The one product I had that I used long after we left the baby stage was a Playtex freezer bag. The whole bag goes in the freezer and will keep 2-3 bottles cold for up to six hours. We even used it for sippy cups of milk after we were done with bottles. If you are going to breast feed or at least put breast milk in bottles invest in a good pump. Breast pads will be very important even if you aren't breast feeding. When your milk comes in it can cause big soakings.

It is perfectly normal to have some "baby blues" after baby is born. But don't try to just brush it off. Let your doctor know. So many women don't get help for post partum depression and it can manifest in many different ways. Some tragically. If you just don't feel right, tell your doctor. I wasn't diagnosed until 6 months after my first was born. Diagnosis does not necessarily mean medication. Especially if you get diagnosed early.

What to Expect When You Are Expecting is a good book. An even better book is The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy. It is very funny and covers some of those things that no one wants to talk about. It is kind of in your face, but I loved it.

I really believe that the more positive you are about your pregnancy the better your pregnancy will be. Enjoy all the amazing things that come with being pregnant.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Congratulations! Elliebird's Mom said it best: Be careful of the internet! Truly, you can really drive yourself crazy with TOO much information.

Do remain active. I didn't change much of anything- I worked up until the day before I gave birth and my husband and I would take walks every evening.

My main advice is actually for after your baby comes: Let other people help you! Let the laundry, dishes and general housework go! It will all get done eventually. Focus on yourself and your baby.

Enjoy your pregnancy. It is the most amazing thing to be pregnant! Keep us posted on your progress!

3 moms found this helpful
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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Congratulations.
Don't worry yourself by trying to get ahead of yourself.
Take it one day at a time. Enjoy your pregnancy. Listen to your doctor on
what to stay away from (foods, heavy lifting or what have you).
I did keep up my walking as my dr. said it was okay as I was doing that
before. I quit lifting weight.
I listened to my body. Slept when I was sleepy, rested when I was tired.
I did not drink alcohol & gave up certain foods (sushi, lunchmeat, caffeine
etc.as recommended by my obgyn).
I had a book on hand that was instrumental once the baby arrived. I think
it was called "Baby's First Year) or something.
To prepare? I had the necessities (bottles to supplement breastfeeding
or for when I pumped), stretching blankets for swaddling, crib, stroller w/
car seat, jog stroller for later, play pen, diapers. Those were the basics.
Later I added things like night lights, jumpy chair.
I did like having this slanted chair thing you put in the sink in order to give
them a bath. They lay on it. Later we changed to a baby tub then I gave
him a bath in our big tub once he was much older.
Every child is different. Some kids like pacifiers. Mine didn't. Only the one
in the beginning they sent him home w/from the hosptial. One of our kids
liked a pacifier, the other liked blankets. One had a lovey (soft baby approved stuffed animal) while the other did not.
Sometimes when my baby was cranky, I found either taking a walk w/them in the stroller helped or holding them.

3 moms found this helpful
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F.B.

answers from New York on

Should you need it down the line, a bit of lanacaine. It helps when relieve chafing. I tried, but did not like the pregancy pillows, but they might work to help you get better sleep. A glass of wine in the evenings and putting my feet up sure did help.

I was recommended against exercise during preg (because of spotting). It was actually hard to do at first, because I am naturally active, and wasn't feeling uncomfortable or tired. I'd say yes to a game of badmitton, then remember I really shouldn't be playing.

Speak with your doctor re: exercise, follow their advice. A bit of walking/ swiming should probably be permissible at the very least.

Congrats on your pregnancy, and on your as yet unborn.

Best,
F. B.

PS- there may come a point after your baby is born when due to exhaustion, uncertainty, hormones, frustration etc, you just want to throw him/her out the window. It's ok. Many have felt that way, even if they don't own up to it. Set the baby down somewhere safe, close the door, get yourself a cup of tea/ coffee, etc, and go back to him/ her when you are in a better head. You won't be the first, and you won't be the last to feel this way. It isn't the mark of failure as a parent, it's a mark of being human.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Atlanta on

Congrats, and your goal of staying active is a great one. You can keep doing yoga and walking--look into information about how to modify the yoga poses to make them appropriate (or doable!) as your pregnancy advances. There are DVD and CD's which will help, and any good instructor will be informed too. Dunno about cycling, giving what happens to one's balance as the center of gravity changes--but ask a doctor, midwife, or nurse. Personally, I continued my regular exercise of swimming 2-3 times a week right up until I was close to delivering both kids, and it was great. Getting to take the weight off my feet was wonderful! Consider trying it to see if it works for you.

I say ditto to minimizing your internet searches. It is a convenient way of getting information, however you can't screen well for what is accurate, important, or relevant for you. Rely more on your medical folks, friends, and books which will help you decide what is right for you. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

The best thing you can do is stay active and drink a lot of water! Take your prenatal vitamins, eat well and get extra rest.

Congrats on this exciting time in your life!

2 moms found this helpful
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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I highly recommend Bradley classes- I did them for my second and really wished I had done them for my first! They are very educational for everything from exercise (they show you specific exercises to do and also "assign" walking/swimming daily) and nutrition to baby's development to labor coping techniques. We also had a lot of fun at ours, and it was great to have one night a week really focus on developing our "team" skills for labor.
I also highly recommend getting a doula, no matter what kind of delivery you think you will have. They are not just for incense-laden chanting water births :) They are an additional support person, very knowledgeable, and such a great resource during pregnancy AND delivery! I would just suggest that you interview several to find one you "click" with.
Congratulations!

2 moms found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

Walk, walk and walk as much as you can.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Please use common sense. Eating healthy foods is good for you and the baby. So many "tales" are out there that make no sense what so ever if you just think about them.

One of my employees got pregnant and would totally freak out if I opened a can of Tuna. Her friend had told her if she was even in the same room she could get mercury poisoning. Another lady wouldn't eat eggs and some other normal foods.

If you think back to even 25 years ago women smoke, drank, , took what ever medications they wanted, and did their normal stuff.

We have so much more knowledge today and it's easy to find out what is real knowledge and what is old wives tales.

Please be sure and check with your doc about anything you change.

Congratulations on the new addition to the family.

1 mom found this helpful

M.S.

answers from Omaha on

CONGRATS!!!!

Don't use pregnancy as an excuse to eat all the cake and and 5 slices of pizza. You're going to be hungry but try not to over do it. You don't want unecessary weight to pack on.

Get a pregnancy DVD. Tons out there you can google.

These are after and I know you said prepare as in while you are pregnant, but I just thought I would throw this in. Hope you don't mind.

Make sure you take the stool softener when you get home from the hospital. I didn't with my first and not fun. Sorry TMI

When you are in the hosptial let the nurses keep the baby at night. You won't get any sleep when you get home and the red button will be all but a memory. With my second one, I got the best sleep in the hospital. It was awesome. When we went home, I was well rested starting out : )

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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

first off,very few pregnancies are actually "ultra high risk" no matter what "an expert" might imply ..otherwise, alot of us wouldnt be here to begin with.dont take "pregnancy advice" from someone who has never been pregnant..no matter how many letters they have behind their name.find a good midwife or doula. K. h.

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C.S.

answers from Miami on

Consider going to a midwife for your care. You will get much more personalized attention and be much better prepared for birth than you will be seeing an OB. At least visit a midwife or two before you decide going an OB route.

Your pregnancy week by week is okay. Avoid the What to Expect series - they are meant to give you anxiety.

Do watch the documentary "The Business of Being Born" - it is true! You really need to know about this.

Sign up for a Bradley class or a Hypnobirthing class. NOW - the more you can practice, the better. Pre-natal yoga is awesome!

Congratulations!!!!

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