Friend Help

Try sending her a card in the mail. Don't push the issue if she doesn't respond. Send a card again on the next holiday or occasion even if you don't get a response. You will eventually.

M.,
I have been in a similar situation as well. My best friend from elementary school stopped talking to me about 7 years ago. We have known each other for over 30 years. She started dating someone who treated her really badly, was physically and verbally abusive. He would cheat on her and then she ended up calling me at all hours of the night crying about it. Mind you, I have 4 children and they were very young at the time. When they finally broke up, I told her that maybe it was a blessing in disguise and that she could do better. She has not talked to me since that time. I found out later that they got back together. I have sent her Christmas cards, birthday cards, etc. with no response from her. I would say that some things are probably better to let go. Just remember the good times and don't expend any more energy on it. Life is too short.

M.--I have been in a similar situation more than once. I thought maybe I was being a bad friend, but now that many years have gone by, I realize that those were one-sided friendships. I miss these ladies very much. One I have known for over 25 years. I think I miss the close relationship more than anything. I know how difficult it is, but you may need to move on at this point but don't be surprised if sometime in the future she may want to make contact again.

I know sometimes you will have really good friends and then something happens and you are no longer friends. But how she was does not seem like she valued your friendship as much as you do. Believe me years from now she will regret that she ended contact with you and deleted your email address. But I think in my opinion that was ended up being one of those friends that you need to just miss and leave alone. You can make tons more friends that support you and that don't lie to you. And then blame you in the long run when you were trying to learn the truth. Don't bother yourself into being hurt again. She is obviously childish if she wanted to delete your email address instead of just ignoring you till she felt better about the situation. Just remember you were the best friend you could be and it is her fault she no longer has you to lean on. Move on there are better fish in the sea than here.

Sounds like a bad situation you're in with your friend, but if she started lying to you because of a "guy" she is dating, it seems that she doesn't have her head on straight right now. Since you have 3 little ones, I wouldn't want my kids to be involved with what seems to be "her" drama, especially if she is trying to see someone else "on the side", particularly your BIL, since he is your children's uncle (do I have that relationship correct?).

I hate to have to say this, but it just may well be time to let that friendship "go", and start finding new friends who hold the same values you do, because your children WILL pick up on those values.

Let me know how things turn out!
~J.~
____@____.com

This is a case where your head should over-ride your heart. For me, it comes down to whether my "friend" has my best interests at heart. In my lifetime of 60 years, I have had to terminate two close friendships. The last one was five years ago and it STILL gets to me. There is no script for a happy ending that I can even concieve of in my head. Can you write one for you and your friend with lies involved? Do you really want another serving? Measure the time you would give her and fill it with peace and joy and good things and know you are on a good path in life.
C. S.

I agree with what Janette said. If you try to strike up your friendship with her again now, it probably won't be the same and you'll probably never really be able to trust her given that she's been dishonest with you in the past. Anyone who lies to you and then gets mad at you because you found out has got their priorities backwards anyway.

If you want to try to get in touch with her and see if you two can be friends again, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but you should probably be prepared for rejection and/or a different relationship than what you had before. And unfortunately, you may not like the new friendship as much as you liked the old one and then you'll have to figure out how to get out of it without being harsh. Sometimes God gives us gifts we don't quite understand at the time. It might just be best to let her go and try to find new friends you can trust.

Hello, Moniqe. I can kinda relate to your story because I was in a similar situation, but we are cousins. When I first moved to Dallas, I was living with her. I was getting food stamps so I was providing the food plus paying her 300$ on rent. I thought she was getting over on me, so I asked her if it was cool if I lowered my rent cause I was providing the food. She got mad and started saying some hurtful things. I moved out and never talked to her until a year later. We saw each other on the freeway. We grew up together, we done good and bad things together growing up. So I know how she is and like. I talked to her sometimes and we email each other, but I can't talk to her like we was before. I can forgive, but I'll never forget. My advice is if you think your relationship with her is worth it, then call her, track her down. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and apoglize cause in their mind, they didn't do anything wrong from the jump. I hope this help. Please email me back, I would like to her from you. I really don't have any friends cause my cousin was all I knew.