Getting Ready to Wean and Scared Out of My Mind!

Updated on December 10, 2010
A.K. asks from Okatie, SC
12 answers

My son is turning one soon and I am getting ready to wean him off of breastfeeding. Don't get me wrong - I am more than ready to wean him but I didn't realize how co-dependent I have become to nursing. I nurse him to sleep for his naps, nurse him to sleep at night, and use it to calm him down when he is upset. What is life like after breastfeeding? How do you put your child(ren) down for naps and down at bedtime? I am trying to discontinue his one night time bottle as well. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

Don't try to take everything away at once. this will cause frustration and confusion for everyone.

I would also discourage try to lose a night feeding if that is what he currently needs. Babies need to be fed on demand 24/7. One isn't this magical age where everything changes and they are grown up. Especially breastfeeding infants. Gradual shift works well for them. Wait until he is old enough to start trying whole milk, warm it and give it to him in a sippy at naptime rather than nursing him to sleep. This is how I began the transition with my exclusively breastfed munchkins.

And there is nothing wrong with nursing a baby to sleep, nursing a baby to soothe. Nothing.

4 moms found this helpful
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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

I HAD to ween my son at one due to medical reasons. It was not easy - he was very attached to nursing. We always rocked, listened to music, and nursed before bedtime. I just took away the nursing. The first three nights, he fought and was angry about missing out on his bed time nursing. However, on the fourth night, he didnt even try and never tried again. He is now two and a half and we still rock and listen to music every night and now also talk about his day.

A friend of mine replaced nursing with reading a book before bed.
So.. I guess my suggestion would be to phase in some other soothing routine and then phase out the nursing.

Also - there is no rush. One is not necessarily a magic number - lots of people I know breastfeed until well after 12 months. Its totally up to you when to stop - everyone seems to have opinions, but its whatever you want and whatever feels right for you and your baby.

3 moms found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Why do you feel you need to force wean? If things are going well, why not continue it? By mid year, your child will be nursing less and less during the day and usually only nurse first thing in the morning, naptime and bedtime. Is that really so hard and stressful? You may not think so.

He will need all the antibodies you produce until maybe after 2 years old... why take that away from him when he's showing signs he still wants and needs you and your milk?

3 moms found this helpful
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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I so miss nursing my babies. Such a precious time with the little ones. I always nursed my babies to sleep also. I started weaning by cutting out one feeding at a time. It took a few weeks to totally be weaned, but I think the slower, gentle approach is better for everyone. The very last feeding I took out was the bedtime feeding. The one before that was the naptime feeding. I started substituting the daytime feedings for table food. When the baby would want to nurse, I would redirect and give a snack or lunch or whatever was appropriate for that time. The sleepy time nursings were mostly for comfort. I then, started giving a snack at naptime, then wisked them off to nap with the rest of the routine intact. The nighttime was the most difficult. I held on to that the longest. But, once they have naptime down well, it isn't quite as hard as they do know how to go to sleep without nursing. I always fed them a snack (like bananas in milk, served on a spoon), then did the rest of the bedtime routine. (Actually, I did bath, then snack, then bed). It won't happen overnight, but you'll get it. There is no rush to do this because of a date on the calendar (unless you are going out of town without baby). Don't stress. Listen to your baby and your own heart on it. I ended up nursing my later babies for 2 years, and wish I had done that with the earlier ones. The time is truly fleeting!

3 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

My son was the exact same as yours around one, honestly he weaned hiimself off at 13 months ... I calmly told him each time he nursed that mommy's milk was almost all gone and he only had a little bit more time to have it. He got the hint I guess b/c all of a sudden he found a silky sheet and named him "Sheep" and that took the place of my boob! He is 4 and still loves Sheep!
Oh and for the night time bottle, never needed it but was suggested by the pedi to replace it with water.

2 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Well you just do it one step at a time. When I did it with my first I started at around 12 months. I took away his afternoon nursing. I gave him a bottle of formula. Then when he was cool with that, which was really fast, I started giving him a bottle in the morning. Then finally I started giving him a bottle at night before bed. For the nighttime bottle you can still hold him close to you and cuddle up with him. This whole process took like three weeks or so, not long. For naps you could do like 1/2 a bottle with cuddles, or even just a sippy of some water or watered down juice with cuddles. Then just put him down at the appropriate time. I think he will do fine. After he was totally off the breast at like 13 months, I changed him over from formula to whole milk. Again as a process. A couple days of 3/4 parts formula and 1/4 part milk, no warming of the bottle. Then a couple days 1/2 n 1/2 then a couple days 1/4 formula 3/4 milk and finally milk. For me that went much faster. Just like a week or so. I tried the straight milk, he was not having it!!! So I eased him into it. I got mine off a bottle for milk at like 17 months or so. Again, using the method of giving all other liquids in a sippy and only milk in a bottle and offering milk in a sippy until he finally accepted it, but not as pressure thing, just when he was ready. I have a strong willed little man and really it wasn't bad. Good luck, it will go fine:D

2 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Well I don't know..... for me, I let my kids self-wean.
My daughter self-weaned at about 2.5 years old, and my son at about 1 year old. On their own.

Just do weaning gradually.
Weaning does not have to be all of a sudden. There is NO 'rule' on it or how or when to wean.

Also make sure, your baby has a "lovey" too.... to snuggle with.

BUT... I would NOT wean a child... when it is a growth-spurt.
1 years old... is a growth-spurt time.
Wean a child... per 'timing.' NOT at growth-spurts... or it will be harder.

Does he take a sippy cup yet? You may try and segue him to a sippy cup of whole milk. Instead. From 1-2 years old... a child should have whole milk... because the "milk fats" in it is a crucial nutrient for brain development, for example.
Or use the bottle as a transition.... for him. Doing less direct nursing. Gradually.

ALSO... I would NOT wean him AND take away his bottle all at the same time. Too much taking away... of things, at one time.

all the best,
Susan

2 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Hi A., I mustve blocked it out cause I don't remember it being an ordeal to wean, bahabaha!

Actually, don't tell anyone but I broke all the rules and put them to bed with a bottle (gasp!). All three of my kids were nursed but would take formula from a bottle as well.

Of course I don't recommend this since OMG think of all the terrible things that could happen!!! Shame on me!

Still I am pleased to say they are now 18, 16, 13, and have not had any ear problems, dental problems, reflux problems or any of the other hazards they say results from putting a kid to bed with a bottle. AND furthermore! I KEPT putting them to bet with a bottle til somewhere around their third birthday (can you imagine?! My bad, or what?!). At which time they just didn't need it anymore.

But don't try this at home folks, tehehehe!

Hope this helps!

:)

1 mom found this helpful
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S.E.

answers from Charleston on

First off, way to go making it to a year!!! Don't feel pressured to wean him just because the calendar says that he's a year old. Remember that the AAP recommends a MINIMUM of one year. The WHO recommends a MINIMUM of two years. I nursed my first son until he was 28 months old, and having that tool for soothing was so valuable in that second year. Nothing helps calm a child in the midst of a tantrum like snuggling close to mommy and nursing. He will slow down on his own, as he gets busier and eats more real food. I say take it one day at a time.

1 mom found this helpful

J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

We weaned gradually and are now done at a year and a half. Dropping the last feeding actually reaaally helped with sleep. Her favorite feeding was the first thing in the morning one, but "first thing in the morning" started creeping earlier and earlier until she'd wake at 4 to nurse. How we weaned: after about 13 months, when she had really gotten into solid food, I just started letting the least urgent feedings drop away and they just weren't part of the routine anymore. I'd bring snacks for when we were out on the road and anticipate when she might be ready for real meals and snacks and offer these instead of the boob. She typically happily obliged. Yes, it was a great way to get her to go to sleep, but we came up with a lot of other things that had little to do with feeding or sucking. This was a nice way to bring my husband into sleep times more. She does have a cup of water by her bed, but doesn't seem as into as she did when we completely weaned a month or so ago. Best of luck and remember there really need be any hurry :)

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S.P.

answers from Charleston on

I guess I would ask why are you weaning him? Are you returning to work or are you just done? My two and a half year old is still comfort nursing and it's the easiest way to get her to sleep and calm her down if she's out of control or has had some major catastrophe. I really have no idea of how I would've ever weaned her without a major reason to do so. I am also 7 months pregnant and her 2 or 3 times of daily nursing hasn't bothered my pregnancy since I have no history of preterm labor issues. Sorry I can't give any advice as to how to do it but just wanted to let you know that you don't have to wean 100% by the day they turn one. They get health benefits through the age of two and comfort/bonding beyond that. The average age for child led weaning is between the ages of 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 if I remember correctly. We did decrease nursings after a while just using the "don't offer but don't refuse" method. Good luck with everything.

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N.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

There are two ways you can go about this. The cold turkey method and the baby-step method. I didn't have a choice in the matter when I weaned my daughter. When she was 9 months old I broke and dislocated my shoulder. Had to stop breastfeeding that night. :( Fortunately she did awesome and adapted very quickly.

If you want an easier transition, start developing a new bedtime routine. Start off by adding something just before you breastfeed. Like reading a book to your son, or sing a lullaby. do that for a week or so then slowly back off on the old routine. Continue reading or singing and add another activitivity like having him help you prepare his bed (getting his favorite toys or blanket... pulling down the sheets, etc.) Then start breastfeeding him till he's sleepy but still awake. As the days or weeks go by breastfeed him less and less.

Good luck!!!

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