Go on a Family Vacation Even Through It Isn't Perfect?

Updated on August 15, 2012
M.W. asks from Billings, MT
19 answers

I just need a little help sorting through a dilemma.
Our family never goes on vacation because money is tight and my husband's business allows him little time off. Our only family vacations consist of camping close by or traveling to Wisconsin to visit family (while squeezing in some fun). We were invited to go to Lake Tahoe on vaca next summer with our best friends'. They have access to a really good deal on a nice suite at a nice resort. The problem? Lake Tahoe is very similar to where we live, Tpo much like home to seem like a vacation. I think the main things to do there are outdoor recreation things which we can do close to home (ie: hiking in the mountains, jet skiing, fishing, etc.) My husband actually said he can take time off work and wants to schedule this vacation. I am just worried that we are using our chance for a vacation on a place that won't be that exciting for us. I'm not worried about traveling with our friends or spending the money, just that we might "waste" the vacation TIME, on a place that is too similar to home. Thoughts?

EDIT: My husband and I have been married for 14 years and still havn't taken a real honeymoon. So vacation time is precious.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Staying in a hotel, eating out and having my husband around to do fun things with always seems like a vacation to me. I also think hanging out with good friends makes for lots of laughs and fun times. I can't imagine you would regret it.

7 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Too much of a good thing is still too much. I'd wait and spend the money you would spend going there, and go somewhere else.

That's my two cents here.

Dawn

2 moms found this helpful

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

For me, vacations are about creating memories, experiencing things and enjoying people you're with.
Your trip sounds like a great opportunity for all of that to me!

3 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I would not do it because money is too tight. You need something different to feel like a vacation. Don't settle.

Also, I will NEVER vacation with another family unless they can totally plan, book, and pay their own way while we do the same, staying in our own rooms.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

You mean you can go some place that doesn't have a relative living there????

We have been married 16 years and have yet to go on that "honeymoon" we said we would go on for our tenth anniversary.

Before children we went places with relatives because it was inexpensive...now we go because there are kids and it isn't so expensive anymore paying for four to travel...but those relatives really really want to see the kids.

If I had a chance to go anywhere with my husband alone (are you taking your kids too) or hey even with the kids...away from home...I would grab it. But that is me...

You and your husband need to discuss what it is that makes a vacation a vacation to each of YOU and then decide if you want to go...he may just think hey, cheap place to stay...lets go. Where as you want a little more planning and new things. Both are okay...but try and get on the same page.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

When I first read your question, I thought "she's nuts!" THEN i looked at your location, and realized, NO, you aren't nuts. You are SURROUNDED by the most beautiful country in all of North America. Not much can stand up to Montana! (And I'm slightly biased towards Wisconsin myself!) I understand your dilema. We headed to the SW (Arizona, Colorado, Vegas) for a 'change of scenery' vacation this year. I understand wanting to experience something different. I would advise you to put together a high-level plan for an alternative vacation, summarizing what you could see/do for a similar price range. Look at the SW, Oregon, or even Seattle. You can spend time with best friends 51 other weeks of the year, building relationships with similar activities. Vacation time is expensive and rare; don't waste it. We get 1 week per year we actually travel in, and we plan it months in advance to take full advantage of it. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My wife and I celebrated one of our anniversaries at Lake Tahoe. We had a wonderful time. There is so much to do and see. And I've been to Billings. Lake Tahoe is not like anything I saw in Montana.

Be sure to go to the Shakespeare Festival. LakeTahoeShakespeare.com And don't be afraid of the festival just because it has Shakespeare in its name. It has all kinds of live entertainment.

Then we went on the paddlewheel boat that sails Lake Tahoe. It had dining and dancing. We had a wonderful time. Tell them its your anniversary (if it is) and they will have a nice treat for you.

Then there is the road that goes around the lake. We took the road on the west side of the lake and the scenery was breathtaking.

If you are open to new experiences, you'll love Lake Tahoe. I hope you have a wonderful time. (BTW, do not go to the Casinos. They are all the same.)

Good luck to you and yours.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.E.

answers from Jacksonville on

I think you need to be open and honest with your husband about your vacation expectations. No, it doesn't have to be somewhere expensive or exotic, but it is nice to get away and experience something that isn't like home.

There are some really great vacation sites that offer plenty of deals to differing locations throughout our beautiful country or elsewhere in the world...Take a look at what is out there with your husband and sit down and plan it together...

Enjoy!

1 mom found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

no offense but you seem to have kinda high expectations of vacations.

my vacations this year consisted of a "staycation" (i was the only one with time off, and i busted my knee on the first Saturday of my "vacation", and spent the entire week flat on my back and in pain) and a 3 day weekend float trip with ALL the family - up to grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, ALL the family.

and we had an amazing, fun, relaxing summer. it was great.

99% of all our "vacations" consist of visiting family of some sort, because we don't have the finances to just fly to Europe or Hawaii for the fun of it. Family has always been more important.

it's all in your attitude, imo. i bet your kids would have a blast. you'd all get some great down time to bond as a family. isn't that what vacation is supposed to be about?? at least to me it is.

to top it off this will be cheaper than about any other vacation you could take, right? so put that extra $ in the fund for next year, and do the big "blowout" EXCITING trip.

1 mom found this helpful

N.C.

answers from Rockford on

Going anywhere that isn't home is vacation. No real housecleaning, bill paying, organizing, or running kids everywhere! I would LOVE that! It may not be ideal, but look at it as a break from your reality and time w/ your husband. And while it may seem too similar, it's still DIFFERENT!

So, unless your husband and you can really afford the time and $$ to plan a Caribbean vaca or whatever it is you are looking for, go enjoy the Lake Tahoe vacation and break from reality!

1 mom found this helpful

D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

LOL! The only vacations we get are near home. For us vacation isn't so much about the place we go it's about the people we are with. We just enjoy the time to relax and be with one another.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

Living in a resort-ish type town I totally get what you're saying . . . going to the beach - for us - is not quite as thrilling as it is for some of my land-locked relatives.

It IS great if you can do something totally different. That's why so many people from Florida love to go out west skiing.

That being said, your husband sounds up for it when he is otherwise resistant (for valid reasons possibly). For that reason alone I'd probably do it, unless I could persuade him to do something else. But the most important thing is that your kids, you and your husband get to relax together.

Good luck.

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

Hmmm at first i thought you were being a bit silly. but then if life has been denying you a vac for years and years and now hubby is finally saying "yes we can make this work" then of course you would have bigger/different expectations.

If you got to go places all the time when yeah this trip woud be fun as well but If you have been dreaming about Vasgas and get handed a cabin in the woods no wonder you would be a little torn.

Maybe if you could tell us What your idea of a vacation IS, that might help. if you have white water rafting near you but never go maybe that is something that you could do-well if htey do that at Tahoe i have no idea.

Any how i hope you have fun no matter what you end up doing.
And and wonder if maybe this is why Dh is so will to go.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think a vacation is more mental than anything else. If you want to have a good time at your relatives house again or go camping again then do it. But I think taking a little bit more time to go do something is a wonderful idea.

Billings was different than what you're saying to me. I know there is a lot of outdoor stuff to do other than when I was there visiting my friend in Shepherd. I'm not much of an outdoor person. She was born in Jackson Hole so she grew up in the outdoors. We were there to see her and her family so we only went to the Temple and did some rubber stamping with her ward friends. She can see the Yellowstone River from her house. I know there must be more to do because I know they go to Yellowstone and other places to snow ski and do activities.

I would think the drive and the whole experience of spending the time getting there and finding some things to do as a family would be worth the whole effort.

Spending time with your family is worth more than any disappointment. You can play games, go for hikes, ride bikes, go swim, do some nice dinners, see some different stuff.

There's the Shakespeare festival, white water rafting, fishing, boating, kayaking,spa's, stables, visiting a castle, helicopter tours, hot air balloon rides, golf, Ehrman mansion, the Stewart Indian School Complex, Kid-zone museum, Donner party history stuff, pioneer stuff, and still more.

This sounds like so much to me. I could relax and do some different stuff. But doing it with my family would be the biggest thing of all.

Taking time off and doing something on purpose together will mean so much more.

You said this vacation was a gift. Usually a vacation is a lot of hotel bills and food bills. If this is going to be an inexpensive vacation they are offering to you I think it is something you can't pass up.

The drive from Billings to Lake Tahoe is a little longer than I thought but here's what I would do.

I would take I-80 and go through Yellowstone. I would plan on a full day there. Hiking and seeing things could be a totally wonderful thing for the kiddo's. Go see the Grand Tetons.

Go to Craters on the Moon, you could even drive a bit into Utah and see some sites there. Getting there can be a lot of fun too. We always take a day or so longer to get someplace so we can see some sites along the way.

When we went from Oklahoma to Billings we went to Omaha Nebraska to see the Winter Quarters, SAC museum and then Freedom Park, to Hastings to see IMAX theater and museum, through the rest of Nebraska to Scott's Bluff, Castle Rock, and Chimney Rock, saw wagon ruts, and saw signatures of many pioneers. We battled a snow storm from Casper to Buffalo then hit high winds that were blowing sand like crazy.

In one 24 hour period I had gotten a sun burn inside the car, got chased by a crazed bird, tripped over a wagon rut and nearly broke my ankle, drove 15 mph so I could make out the white line on the road and watched for the signs along the road side to find a little town to stop in to wait out the snow storm, got a car sandblasted so much that paint came off, then crossed into Montana. It was clean and cold. So cold that my summer clothes had to be left in the suitcase and I had to go shopping. It took 3 days but it was a whole photo album of pictures and memories that my family still talks about to this day.

You will be making so many family memories if you just take some time and plan some of the drive and the time you'll actually be at this friends home. I think that a vacation is mental anyway. Otherwise how could we mom's ever call going to visit a relative a vacation.

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M.P.

answers from San Francisco on

What?? I've been to Tahoe and it is amazingly beautiful. Not your typical lake for sure! We do not have gobs of money to take family vacations either so we primarily camp every year and one of our trips is to a favorite spot 15 minutes from home! For me it's not always about the destination, I just love getting time off from work, get out of my filthy house and enjoy some relaxing time with my family. The last couple of summers we camped with a few other families and those trips have been the most fun ones! I say go! Tahoe is amazing. You'll love it. Next year plan a trip for just you and your husband to celebrate your 15th anniversary.

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

Do you have another vacation you are planning that is different from this one, that you were planning on taking? Will you be giving up another trip that allows you to experience new and different things to make this one happen? If this is the case, I would not go to Lake Tahoe, but I'd keep your original plan.

If you have no other vacation plans in the works, and probably wouldn't take any vacation at all if you don't do this one, then I would go.

I think Music Making Mama has an excellent point. You mentioned a really good deal on *A* nice suite. I think sharing a room and sleeping arrangements with another family is extremely awkward. Then there is the money thing - splitting room charges, food bills, entertainment costs. It can get hairy fast. If you can keep yourselves separate and meet up when you wish, then great.

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E.F.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Life isn't perfect. Don't wait for perfection - book the holiday!

The change and the people will make it a 'real' holiday. I bet you'll love it! A holiday with best friends? Sounds pretty perfect to me!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My DH and I have different ideas about vacation. He wants to be away from home somewhere he can relax and not have to do anything. I want to go see sights and visit things. If your DH is happy to put his feet up, then look around and see what is available around Lake Tahoe. Your DH wants to go, so talk to him more about why and see if there's something you've missed. Maybe for him it's not the activities but spending this time with friends.

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K.D.

answers from Provo on

You cannot waste vacation time by doing stuff. You can only waste vacation time by not enjoying it. Our family lives in the mountains (literally -- "town" is 20 minutes away, and that's not a big town) and we went to Yellowstone and the Tetons for vacation last year. Very similar to where we live. The year before, we took 2 mini vacations about 30 minutes further up the road into the mountains, and the year before that it was a couple hours away... in the mountains.
While it is nice to experience new things, the important part of vacation (at least to me) is to spend time together away from work and normal life stress. Tahoe is a beautiful place to do that.

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