He Won't Let Me Brush His Teeth!

Updated on February 17, 2009
J.L. asks from Aubrey, TX
17 answers

My 15 month old almost has all of his teeth and I know I should be brushing them, but it's a wrestling match every time. My husband holds him down and I have to pry the little finger brush in there while he cries the whole time. My husband thinks we'll have a child who will never brush his own teeth because we're traumatizing him. Is there an easier way? I have tried a toddler brush, finger brush, Elmo Orajel paste, letting him hold the brush, letting him try to brush Mommy's teeth... what else can I do?

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A.P.

answers from Dallas on

My son hated it at first too; then we found him a fun electric toothbrush that looks like a firetruck and lights up. This was over a year ago now, and the novelty has worn off, but it got us past the initial reluctance and now he's no trouble. (we've replaced the batteries in it several times and go back to it for a change -- he likes to mix it up now with toothbrushes that have his favorite characters on them!). The making funny faces and noises that someone else mentioned helped, too!

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B.M.

answers from Abilene on

SING, SING, SING!!! My granddaughter (now 3) would not let anyone brush her teeth, then I started singing silly songs to her about her teeth and no problems. For awhile she would still cry the entire time while I was brushing but she was laughing at the same time (ind of like put on tears). My dentist and hygenist both said if she didn't like the toothpaste that was ok. It is getting in the habit of brushing. Now, twice a day, we go in, she and I brush together, then she lets me finish up her brushing to make sure all the "cavity bugs" are gone.

Two more things, she loves her Veggie Tales singing toothbrush and on some days I let her brush my teeth. I guess I can relate to your son, if it isn't fun I don't want to do it. I try to make every thing we do a game.

Good luck.

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P.W.

answers from Dallas on

I'm kinda on your husbands page......well, not really, but you may be making too big a deal. Sounds like it is turning into a power struggle. My oldest son threw big fits to be independent. He wanted all the control and often I had to back up and let him do it his way. My second child was just stubborn and enjoyed refusing. With the younger one I often told him he could do something himself, or I would do it for him? He soon learned it was best to do it himself. But I reserved that for bigger battles, like getting in a car seat. Some kids just want the control so I'd say do your best to coax him to do this on his own, praise him for doing it himself.....even if you don't like the way he did it.

Or, invite over a friend (maybe an older child) and have them brush their teeth in front of your son. You can also have teeth brushing time where he comes in the bathroom with you and your husband and everyone brushes their teeth. I would avoid holding him down, etc... If he even holds the tooth brush I would praise him. Try to stop worrying about whether he gets his teeth brushed and just work towards that as a goal.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

I am a 71 yr. old great-grandmother. Strange as it seems, when my children (now 50,52,54) were that age we didn't brush their teeth! My doctor said that young children had a natural protective enzyme in their mouths protecting the teeth. As I remember, we started brushing around 3 yrs old.
My children had no childhood cavities and no more adult problems than anyone else.

So---was my doctor wrong? Why do we have pediatric dentists now, when I never heard of one 50 years ago? Are we going thru unnecessary stress with our little ones and maybe removing the helpful enzymes etc? Is the need for early brushing well documented or has the Dental Lobby convinced doctors and parents that this is a good thing. Like the Pharmaceutical companies that sell the docs on all the latest and most expensive prescriptions?

And I just had another thought!! Did your doctor tell you to brush his teeth or are you buying into current advertising? I'd really like to know the answer to that. Just curious.

God Bless your family

D.

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H.G.

answers from Dallas on

I had the same problem with my daughter and started singing to her. After doing this routine for a while, she would open her mouth and be happy while I brushed. I used a favorite song "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to get her to let me brush. I sing it twice and that is time recommended to brush teeth. Idea taken from Supernanny. Good luck to you. Hope this helps.

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D.T.

answers from Dallas on

Try singing a song. This is the way we brush your teeth, brush your teeth, brush you teeth. So early in the morning. This is the way we fight bad breath, fight bad breath.... and so on. Make up whatever you want. We do this for washing hands too. My 2 year old really likes it. Also sometimes we count his crocodile teeth so I can get way in the back. For the first couple of times I would sing the song and pretend like you are brushing your teeth before you brush his. Or, try a singing toothbrush or a child's spin toothbrush. That age is really hard. Good Luck. :o)

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

I'd really back off of it for a while. You're right that if it's "traumatic" he won't go near it. You want to make it a pleasant experience. Really, your goal at this point should be routine, not technique. Get him his own little toothbrush and just let him hold it and chew on it. Give it to him at his highchair if you think he'll go nuts if you introduce it in the bathroom. Once he's cool with the concept again, have him join you when it's teeth brushing time, and have a great time brushing. We'd set ours on the bathroom counter (with their feet in the sink) and all grab our brushes together. Make sounds, say how it tickles your teeth and giggle...
Eventually you want to get to where he lets you take a turn. Let him take a turn brushing yours first. Ours loved that. We'd say "oh, I need help getting all the spaghetti off my teeth! Can you reach those top ones?" or something like that.
When they were little and it was our turn to brush theirs, we didn't make a big fuss about technique then either. With my son, all we could get at first was a quick swipe.
Our patience has paid off -- now at 3 and 5 we can not only brush their teeth, but floss them too!

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A.D.

answers from Tyler on

Hey J.,
My little girl was that way when she was about that age, but believe me it does get better. She loves brushing her teeth now. Now I have an 18 mth old son and he is great about it. He actually gets excited when I say lets go brush your teeth. I can tell though he doesn't let me do it for as long as he used to would, but I still can get in there for a few seconds to brush. I have always made funny noises the whole time I have brushed there teeth. I tell them to do it to. I say EEEEEE and when they do it I get their front teeth, and when I say AAAAAAA and they do it I get their back ones. I hope something I have said will help or at least encourage. I am sure it will get better before you know it!

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

He is onnly 15 months old and you are holding him down to brush his teeth??? My kids didn't start getting their teeth until close to 12 months, and it didn't even occur to me for them to brush yet. They are all grown and have good teeth. I really don't think you have to worry yet, and when he is a little older make a game out of it , he brushes when you do and gets to put a sticker on a chart. It should be fun, not scary.

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A.S.

answers from Lubbock on

try singing silly song and adding parts where he has to open his mouth or sing barneys song"if all the rain drops were lemon dromps and gums oh what world it would be standing outside with our mouths open wide ah ahh ahh ahh ah ah.and brush when his mouth is open on the ah part.You can make up your own songs too.or make faces while brushing.Try having family teeth brushing time where you all brush your teeth together.Daddy can brush mommies teeth mommy can brush daddys teeth and so on.Or the best thing sit him in front of a mirror so he can see wht is going on chances are that he will be mesmerized by his reflection and forget all about it.Toddler brushes witj soft bristles are the best when they get their teeth.Good luck!!Make it fun!

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter also hated to have her teeth brushed at that age. The thing that worked for me was to tell her that I saw some bunnies in the back of her mouth that I had to get, so she opened her mouth. I would change from bunnies to ladybugs to whatever made her laugh. She liked for me to get those bunnies hiding behind her teeth.

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L.B.

answers from Dallas on

I am right there with ya, only thing is my son is 15!!! Let me explain though, he has Down Syndrome and has "sensory issues". I've tried just about everything you have, bought special brushes, etc. Even tried a battery operated one, which made it worse, he hates the humming sound and the way it feels inside his mouth.

Funny thing is, when we visit the dentist, he has NO PROBLEM whatsoever with the dentist going into his mouth, not even a peep when they fill his cavities!

I truly think, with my son anyway, that it's a control thing. I try to make a game of it, or tell him we can watch a special movie, get ice cream, etc. Sometimes that works, but your son is still so young, would he understand the reward system?

All I can tell you is to hang in there and try not to sweat it.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I wish I had better advice for you, but all I can say is get them brushed! Take him to the dentist and they could probably show you different coaxing methods. I soooo wish I'd done a better job w/my 3 1/2 year old boy. We spent $3000 (WITH dental insurance) on his teeth about 6 months ago. My pediatrician said he may just have bad enamel, but we tried everything and just gave up most of the time. After putting that much money into his mouth, we brush them every night, no matter what. It took time, but now he doesn't mind. His Daddy does a dance with him while they each brush their teeth. I also told him no sweets unless he brushes. I know yours is only 15 months, but believe me, he can understand that. I wouldn't give him juice, candy of any kind, or any type of dessert until he brushes regularly (with your help). Good luck to you. We really went through the exact same thing...I thought for sure we'd traumatized our little one, but it is a winning battle...I promise! I really sympathize!!

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B.P.

answers from Abilene on

As silly as it sounds, toddlers love stickers. Make a sticker chart for him and let him pick out stickers at the store. When he lets you brush his teeth let him put a sticker on it.

Otherwise, could you distract him with a favorite video that he only gets to watch when you brush them????

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

You have some great advice already.

I would not make it a power struggle. Make it a game.

When my daughter was very young and able to understand what we were talking about, we told her that her teeth got "sugar bugs" and we had to brush them away so her teeth would stay pretty. She was always ready to get rid of the sugar bugs.

We reinforced this by brushing together as a family.

Good luck and he will come around.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

Mine is the same way at 18 months. Frankly, I just hold him down on his back and do it twice a day and have been since he started getting teeth. Yes, he screams the whole time but stops as soon as I'm done. I know it doesn't hurt, he knows it doesn't hurt, he just doesn't want to have to stop playing for long enough to have it done. I explain exactly what I'm doing and why (Mommy has to brush your teeth now so they'll be nice and clean). He might not even understand what I'm saying but eventually he will and he'll know I'm not trying to hurt him. In my opinion, it's not traumatizing him, sometimes we have to do things they don't like but it's in their best interest. Traumatizing is when he's older and doesn't have good habits and has to get cavities filled or several root canals. Been there. Lately, it seems that he's starting to realize it's not that big a deal and he'll open his mouth and let me. I brought him to the dentist at 15 months and he basically handed him a toothbrush and looked in his mouth and said to me, I don't need to see him for another year. I asked then why did I come in the first place (and get him put on dental insurance for nothing) and he said because I gave him the toothbrush and he immediately started brushing with it and I can tell you take care of his teeth. He said many parents are scared to do it bc no child actually likes it. They can't do it bc their child is crying. Those are the ones I have to see regularly.

So that's how I do it, but you wanted tips to make it easier. I have found that if I sit him on the counter with me while I brush my teeth, he is VERY interested. So I hand him his toothbrush and he will copy me and try to do it himself. Then you can kind of take over and try to actually get the teeth. Some have found success with character toothbrushes they like, like Elmo. If you use a toddler toothpaste with a yummy flavor, he might be more agreeable. Although I see you've tried that, mine didn't like the flavor of the first one I tried so you might try another flavor. Also, you're probably doing this, but sometimes my hubby would forget to rinse the toothbrush off after (since we don't rinse and spit it's easy to forget) and the bristles get very hard. That seems painful to them, so make sure you rinse the brush well after. Some have success singing a song while doing it. Finally, mine gets easily distracted if I hand him a toothbrush and he can stick it in my mouth while I brush his. He forgets to cry. .. hth!

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

I had a problem with this too.

First thing that helped was giving my toddler control of the toothbrush. I just put a tiny but of baby toothpaste on there and gave it to her. She'd suck the brush until all the paste was gone, but as soon as she'd loose interest, then I'd tell her it's my turn. I'd ask her to stick out her tongue and I would tickle it with the brush, then when she'd laugh and open her mouth, I'd brush a couple of teeth. She'd stick her tongue out again because it was funny so I figured out to tickle her tongue, then I'd ask for a few teeth and so on until we got them all brushed. I think giving up some control over the brush and telling them what a big kid they are brushing their own teeth is the best way to get in there so to speak.

That was about 6 months ago...I still let her have the brush and then tell her "my turn" and get her to open up like the hippo in her Barney at the Zoo movie and we make it fast and not a big deal.

Hope this helps, good luck! Tell us what happens!!

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