Help! My 3-Month-old Would Not Nap!

Updated on January 20, 2008
L.H. asks from Bellevue, WA
37 answers

My son would not nap for more than 20-30 minutes at a time during the day, so it's really difficult to get anything done around the house or even take a shower. The only way he'd sleep longer if I continuously rock him in a rocking chair. When he falls asleep, the minute I put him down in his bassinett, crib or a vibrating bouncy chair, he wakes up. Since he doesn't nap much, by the evening time he is really cranky, to the point of having screaming fits & arching his back. At night he sleeps great from 8:30 pm till 8:30 am with waking up at 1 am and 5 am to eat & then immediately falling asleep after a diaper change & a good swaddle. I recently read that 3-month-olds should be getting 15 hours of sleep per day (+/- 2 hours) which includes 2 naps during the day. I would love for him to take longer naps & take a much-needed nap myself! Any advice on how I can help my baby sleep longer during the day?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all of your great advice! I didn't realize how often my baby needed to nap. I have learned to pay attention to his signs of fatigue/overstimulation (increased fussiness, him rubbing his eyes, yawning) & now put him down for a nap every 2.5-3 hours! He usually sleeps for 45-60 minutes & wakes up refreshed & happy. I also bought a Ergo baby carrier & my son is able to nap in it as well. Thank you so much!

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T.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi L.,

I am also a first time mom and had the same problem with my 2 mo. old son, he simply would not let me put him down, EVER. My salvation came in the form of his swing. We have the graco luv'n'hug. It is the most wonderful piece of baby equipment that I have recieved. I put him in there set it to 6 and he goes right to sleep, I finally have time to get stuff done or take a much needed nap!

Good Luck,
T.

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T.W.

answers from Medford on

get him a swing that was the only thing that worked for my daughter and now she can sleep through anything so it won't last also napping with him is a great idea it was one of the few ways that I stayed sane

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T.K.

answers from Seattle on

HI,
you could try putting him to sleep on his tummy, I know you're not supposed to, but it was the only way my son would sleep(he's now 16mos.) at 3 months. You may have to put him down for his nap awake and let him cry a bit until he falls asleep. It may take several days until he learns to fall asleep on his own but he will be a better sleeper if you can make it through! He will be so much happier(and you too!) when he gets good naps in the day.

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E.R.

answers from Seattle on

Try napping with him. My son was similar when he was tiny. I just would just lie down with him and nurse him in a side-lying position. We would both sleep for an hour or two.

Failing that, wear him in the moby wrap. (You can also make one of these yourself. There are instructions about thm at mamatoto.org.) That works for us, too.

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K.Z.

answers from Portland on

A 3 month old baby is still getting used to the world outside of your belly. Some think it takes 9 months to fully adjust, and babies do best next to mom where they can still hear your voice and be comforted by your heartbeat and scent. Hence the reference someone listed below to nine in, nine out.

Wear your baby as much as possible. I had back trouble, so I spent a lot of time just holding my baby while he slept. The time does pass and if you don't bond now, it will MUCH harder later on! Forget about laying him down on his own, he needs his mama. Contact is key. You should have at least one sling. I liked the Maya Wrap, a ring sling, for newborns and the Moby Wrap from around 20lbs (5 mos for mine!) up to 18 mos which distributes the weight across your body. Look online for styles but it's best if you can find a local baby wearing group, they'll be happy to help you learn how to use them and see which ones works best for you and your baby.

You say you need a nap as much as he does, well just lie down together! I took many naps with my son during his first year as he would not sleep well alone. He also slept with us at night as he never did sleep well alone. Watch for his cues to know he is tired then lay down and nurse him to sleep then just hold him while still on your side and go to sleep. Soft music and white noise might help. It does take some practice to be able to nurse lying down but it's well worth it in the long run when you're able to sleep! We figured out a good routine when I realized my son would nap for 10 minutes on his own or 1-2 hours next to me!!! Then I got to nap too and when mama's happy, mama has the capacity for more patience!

Please do NOT listen to anyone who is telling you that your baby (before 12-18mos) needs to be on a "schedule" of ANY kind, I mean sleeping, eating, bathing, whatever. Just follow your heart and you will find a natural routine you can live with. If you want to read a good book that really encourages you to follow your instincts, check out "The Baby Book" by Dr William Sears. He is the pediatrician for our age! Please please PLEASE do not let him cry alone by himself. That only teaches a child, even a baby, that he is not important and no one around him cares about his needs. Yes, he may eventually stop crying, but that just means he has given up hope. That is a sad thing to teach someone who is so new to this world! Shame on all of you who are falling for this atrocious advice!

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J.W.

answers from Portland on

A little about me: I am a mother of 4 ranging 10yrs to 20mths. We have had great success with naps and bed times. We believe it comes from advice we recieved from another parent early on with our 1st child. Put your baby down when he is sleepy and before he falls asleep. This way he will learn to comfort himself to sleep and back to sleep if he wakes up without you nearby. If this is too difficult, you can rub his back while he is in his bed for the first week, then stand at the door and say it's okay for the next week, then outside the door saying it's okay the next week. It will work eventually. It may be hard short term, but in the long term, you will all be much happier with lots more sleep.

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S.W.

answers from Seattle on

If your son is 3 months old (like it says in your "A little about me"), I vote for wearing him. He can nap/doze while you do stuff around the house, and maybe if he's close to you he'll sleep longer?

There are tons of different carriers out there..do you know anyone who wears their baby? It's really helpful to have someone show you how it's done sometimes (I needed help, but some people don't). There are baby wearing communities on line, and there may be specialty stores in your area that sell them and can show you how they work (try them before you buy them if you can).

Crying it out this early is not ok, from what I know and have read. Teaching him self soothing methods will come in time, but he's still at an age that if he's not doing it already, your job as mom is to help him.

His short naps could just be the way he is wired. I know several kiddos who've been power nappers and have turned out a-ok. I know it's frustrating to not have time to yourself, but just hold on to, "this too shall pass". I vote for doing the bare minimum as far as housework goes and if you've got a s/o, make sure they're helping out too. Your son is your Full Time job right now, so give yourself a break from the other stuff. Housework can wait, your son will only be tiny for a few months!

Good luck!

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L.V.

answers from Portland on

Hi L.,

First let me say congratulations that he is at least a great sleeper at night! I had the same issue with my daughter for the first 15 months; she would only take naps if she was moving and had a fan going and often sleep music was necessary too. What made all the difference for me was wearing her. In the early months I used a simple 5 yard piece of linen and used a wrap that I found on mamatoto.org. This is a GREAT website about babywearing and it has all kinds of different wraps you can use with just a 5 yrd piece of fabric. Later we graduated to an Ergo baby carrier although I think with my next baby I will probably get the infant insert to use in the beginning.
Wearing your baby will get both of your needs met: you can have two free hands and baby can be near you and be moving.
Also, I highly recommend trying a fan (or some other sort of white noise machine) and/or relaxing sleepy-time music. I did this from very early on with my daughter and now her sleep cd gets a Pavlov's Dogs response :)
You also mentioned that you would like to nap when your baby naps: have you tried co-sleeping for naps? Side nursing was always a great way for me to get some much-needed rest while my daughter napped and nursed. If you haven't done this or been successful with it I highly recommend Dr. Sear's The Breastfeeding book which has great illustrations and tips for how to get baby to nurse in all kinds of useful positions.

Best of luck to you in getting you and your little one lots of rest!

warmly,
L.

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J.V.

answers from Seattle on

Hi L.,

Congrats on your son!

I say wear your baby, wear your baby, wear your baby. Babies are not used to sleeping on a still, flat surface after 9 months of being curled up and buoyant inside you.

I used a Moby Wrap when my son was brand new and now I use an Ergo Baby Carrier. I can strap him to me and do inside and outside chores. I can nurse him in these wraps without taking him out. He sleeps when he needs to and even sleeps through the vacuuming!

Wearing your son will help you get things done and once the house is clean, you can take a nap together. My son (almost 6 months old) will take a 2-3 hour nap when I nap with him. Nice for us both!

I never used a sling because my son didn't like it and I thought it flopped around too much, but a sling or one of about a million different carriers out there will work for you. Many places let you give it a test run before purchase. The Ergo is pricey, but a great investment! I wear my son everywhere and have only put him in a stroller once in his life. We walk, shop, cook, play with the dogs, clean the house, pay bills and lots more while I'm wearing him. Plus, carrying his extra 17 pounds around helps with my weight loss.

Good luck and feel free to get in touch if you have more questions.

Best wishes,
J.

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F.T.

answers from Seattle on

I read The New Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford before I had my baby. She talks about associations and sleep patterns and though I sometimes felt mean, my baby did benefit from my following most of the advice - my baby was sleeping regularly during the day and sleeping through the night from 730pm to 7am by the time she was 7weeks old. My sister in law started using the book for her triplets when they were 5 months and now at 19 months, they sleep from 7pm till 630/7am and they have been doing that since they were 6 months. The book is available on amazon.co.uk (also available on the u.s. site but takes 6 weeks to ship, while you can have it sent to you using priority courier from the u.k.)
Good luck.

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

I would have to disagree with the "cry it out" method. If you try wearing him in a sling it will help him to sleep better. Think of him as a cup & when he is full, everything functions better. When he is less than full, it doesn't. He may need to be held more or to be close to you. This will fill up his cup & then when nap time comes he will be comfortable enough to sleep longer. Also, he is only 3 mos old & still trying to figure out the way things work. I would suggest letting him have as long a nap as you can get him to once a day in the sling (not front pack! They are especially bad for baby boys as they put way too much pressure on their crotch area.). This gets him used to sleeping comfortably for a long time. Then after he does it consistently for awhile try laying down with him in the sling once he passes the arm drop test (lift his arm & then let it drop. if it falls right back down he is fast asleep.) Then just remove the sling from you & let him finish his nap.
A good style of sling for this would be a pouch sling or a ring sling as you can put him in a laying position & also can take it off easily without waking him.
A good place to get more info on slings is at www.mothering.com.
Hope this helps!
A.

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J.F.

answers from Portland on

Dear L.,
Congratulations on your little fella! Mine just turned one! Both of my kids took naps best right on me, too. I would highly recommend a sling or wrap (my daughter was in the Maya Wrap oodles and oodles and my son loved the Moby Wrap...lived in it all last winter!). They sleep and you are hands free during this time. It wasn't that long ago that Gerritt was in a belly, and snug, cozy, and warm and hearing a heartbeat. Some believe the first three months is the third trimester, and others believe in nine months in the belly and nine months out, but on your belly.
Whatever resonates with you, the fact is he still is so wee, and who can blame him for wanting to sleep on his favorite person=) A great resource for us with sleeping and babywearing and everything really has been Dr. Sears.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051100.asp#T051110
(here's a little babywearing blurb)
For showering, we have a standard size bathtub. I would put my little one in the little plastic baby tub towards the back of the shower so they could be near but I could still get clean=) Also had a sling for the shower with my son...
This time is fleeting and before you know it he'll be a big baby exerting some independence sitting across the room playing with toys and you'll think "but it seems like yesterday that...." Warmly, J.

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

To follow up what some other people have said.. It's NOT okay to leave an infant to cry, even if they've been fed, changed and burped. Touch is one of the essentials for an infant, it's been studied in monkeys and touch is actually MORE IMPORTANT TO A BABY MONKEY THAN FOOD! It's painful for an infant to be away from human touch, it gives them a feeling of abandonment. The only time out ancestors would have left a small baby alone is if they weren't coming back. Sure, your baby will stop crying after a while with the cry-it-out method, but that's from hopelessness, not from self-soothing.

I carried my son most of the time in an Ultimate-Baby-Wrap. It was so comfortable, it left my hands free and my back/shoulders feeling good. Touch is extremely important for an infant, it helps stimulate proper neurological development. Your little guy just knows that he needs more touch. The book "The Continuum Concept" and the article below are both great resources that explain why infants need constant touch (even when sleeping).

http://faculty.plts.edu/gpence/PS2010/html/Touch%20and%20...

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A.M.

answers from Eugene on

Hi L....I'm a mom to 4 children (much older now) but I don't think much has changed as far as naptimes go. Maybe you could try doing the feeding, diaper changing, and then put Gerritt in his bassinett, crib or bouncy chair while he is still awake. Let him get use to falling asleep on his own rather than being rocked. I know it's hard to not want to rock him to sleep (I so remember those precious moments) but this way you won't have to move him. It sounds like he's doing great at night though. You are very fortunate for that. None of my kids slept that long through the night until they were at least 6 months old. Hopefully this helps. It did for me. Good luck and congratulations on being a new mommy....:)

A.

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E.T.

answers from Seattle on

Are you aware of the "2 hour rule"? Basically the "2 hour rule" for sleep is that your baby should be back in bed for naptime no more than 2 hours after he got up (and sometimes much less)! Look for sleepy signs such as yawning and rubbing the eyes, and get him swaddled and back to sleep as soon as you can when he seems at all sleepy. Babies of that age aren't ready for long periods of awakeness, and most aren't on schedules yet. He may need many more than 2 naps. At that age I'd say my daughter took 5 or 6 and slept in total 15-17 hours a day; she wasn't down to "just 2 naps" until after her first birthday!

He is WAY, WAY too young for "crying it out" (even cry it out experts & how-to books will tell you that crying it out is for babies who are older than 6 months). At this age he needs to be soothed to sleep and be given lots of opportunities to sleep.

I'd recommend getting a sleep book. There are lots to choose from with varied techniques. You might start with something like "The No Cry Sleep Solution" or "The Baby Whisperer". "Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child" also covers a range of techniques from no-cry to cry-it-out (when age-appropriate). I rather liked Healthy Sleep Habits because it had a great summary of how brain development affects sleep habits in babies, and data on things on how many naps most babies really take at what ages, etc.

Babies are like snowflakes, so please remember that what's "perfect" for getting one baby to sleep may not work at all for yours, and of course her needs and habits will change as she gets older, too.

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M.L.

answers from Portland on

I remember those days! Just a thought, try to have him spend a bit more time on his blanket on the floor, essentially learning how to sooth and calm himself. Start with a few minutes and add more as they become more accustomed. Also, I remember reading that your baby should be slightly awake when you put them down for a nap, don't wait until they fall asleep because they won't learn how to fall asleep on their own. I only really learned this when I had my second and wasn't able to pick my daughter up each time she fussed because I was attending to my older daughter's needs. They need to learn this behavior, and the second child has a chance to learn it so much better. I did the same thing with my first, held her, rocked her and jumped every time she made a peep, and all it did was made her more dependent on me to sleep. Good luck!

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L.J.

answers from Portland on

Do you wrap him? Our kids always napped better when we wrapped them up fairly snug in a blanket. Our blanket of choice is called "The Miracle Blanket" and it really was a miracle for us that our kid all slept SO well in it! We've just taken our 3rd out of it and she is now able to sleep long hours without it. (She is now 4 months old). But when she or her brothers weren't wrapped in it they would nap like your son. It is kind of like a straight jacket the way it binds the baby in, but they slept so peacefully like that.

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H.O.

answers from Portland on

Hi L.,

I can only sympathize with your situation. I have a beautiful 9 month old girl and she wouldn't ever nap for me until she was about 8 months old then I finally started getting one nap a day out of her for 1-2 hours. She is also a good night sleeper 10-12 hours without waking. When she was younger she never napped unless she fell asleep nursing. Once I picked her up the nap was over and they were short naps too, like 20 minutes. For the shower thing when she was smaller I would just lay her in her crib and let her cry while I showered. I knew she was safe in her crib and I couldn't hear her well while I showered so it let me enjoy my shower. That is how I finally got her to nap without nursing also. About 2-3 hours after she woke up in the morning I would notice she was sleepy and wanting to nurse, but instead of nursing her and then trying to lay her down when she fell asleep I just put her in her crib and I went and took a quick shower. At about 7 to 8 months by the time I got out of the shower she was asleep. It was so nice. I asked my doctor when she was 3 months old about the not napping or only napping 20 minutes while nursing and she assured me that was normal. The doctor said she just might be a power napper and there wasn't much I could do. I know this doesn't help much but just know you are not alone, and there may be hope when he gets a little older.

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M.D.

answers from Seattle on

I can relate to this one. My youngest (now 5 yo) was the same way. Many would console me by saying "intelligent people don't sleep much...he's going to be very smart". Well that and a Starbucks card might get me some needed caffeine but didn't help me at the time. What would work for me is to keep him in a front pack carrier....at least he would be calm. My mil tried to comfort me by saying that my dh gave up all naps by 18 months.
I hate to scare you so early, but how are his milestones coming along? in order? on time? slightly slow but not bad? My son was just on the slow end of normal. We found out that 3 years later that ds has sensory issues and many of these kiddos don't sleep well and milestones are just at the slow end of norm. Now he gets Melatonin a few nights/week. (some weeks almost every night, others no M for weeks at a time). His body just doesn't produce enough to make his body desire sleep. If you think it may be something else please let me know...I will be happy to help you problem solve and seek out the help you want/need.
It may simply be a child who just wants to be with mommy, and a front pack will help. I hope so. I am a Physical Therapist and had a huge pride issue over learning that I had a son w/special needs....they were always someone else's kids...not mine.
Hope you get some sleep soon
M.

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

Hi, I have an almost 4 month old. He goes through spurts of LONG naps and no naps. It stresses me out too, but I'm learning that it only lasts so long. He seems to need lots of nursing or lots of sleep when he's growing. He sounds like he's sleeping really well at night. If he's happy, then just let him do what feels the best to him. He'll let you know if he needs more sleep or whatnot. Don't worry about what "they" say. He's your baby and God's given you the instincts to do what's best for him. Sometimes, when my little guy gets really cranky I just lay him in his crib and let him cry himself to sleep. It doesn't usually take too long and I get a little break. My oldest boy never slept much either, and he still doesn't at 2 years old. It's just how they are wired. Good luck!

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S.R.

answers from Eugene on

I don't have any of my own children, however I have watched a lot of friends go through the new parenting stuff. My good friend has a baby that won't sleep unless she is being held and she found that wrapping her up tight in a blanket and then setting her in the swing helps her sleep pretty good. You could try that. I hope it helps.

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E.R.

answers from Medford on

Can a 3 month old go in a swing? If they can that would help. My daughter loved, and i mean loved, her swing! I think she was older though.

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J.H.

answers from Portland on

Hi L.,

The sleep stuff is SO challenging. I remember the days of 20-30 minute naps. I got pretty close to completely losing it from being so tired myself and from knowing that my little guy needed more sleep but just couldn't seem to get it. But it does get better, a lot better, I promise.

One thing that helped us was to shorten our little guy's awake periods. The two-hour rule is a reasonable place to start, but as the other mama mentioned, your little guy might need to go back to sleep after just an hour and a half--or even just an hour--of wakefulness. It's so surprising how quickly they can be ready to go back to sleep at this age. Apparently, once they're rubbing their eyes, they are already overtired, so if you can catch an earlier drowsy sign (a yawn, zoning out, yanking on the ear, . . .), you'll have better luck. Another option would be to notice how long he's awake before he starts rubbing his eyes, and the next time try putting him down before that amount of time is up (e.g., if he starts rubbing his eyes after being up for an hour and 45 min, try putting him down when he's been up for an hour and a half). Trying to have a bit of low-stimulation time to wind down before the nap--maybe a book or a song in his sleeping room, with the lights low--should also help.

I realize that this approach isn't intuitive--it seems like babies should get more tired and sleep better if they've been up for longer. But when babies get too tired, their bodies produce adrenalin to help them stay awake. The adrenalin makes them kind of wired/jumpy, so they have trouble making it through their sleep transitions (at 20 min, 30 min, etc.) without waking up. So if you can help them get to sleep before they are tired enough that the adrenalin response kicks in, they are more likely to make it through the transition.

All that said, we still had a fair number of too-short naps. These strategies helped a lot, but it was still a developmental process that got better with time and consistency.

Congratulations on your baby boy, and best of luck with the sleep stuff. Hang in there!

With good wishes for a little shut-eye,

Juliet

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E.T.

answers from Portland on

My son was the same way, but if i put him in his swing he would take longer naps. So maybe that might work since your baby sleeps better in motion.

Beth

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I.D.

answers from Seattle on

I know what you must be going through because the same thing happened to me with my daughter. I could not stand to hear her cry, (it hurt me and I thought I was a bad mother if I let her cry), so I would pick her up every time she whimpered. I talked to my peditrician about it and he said to let her cry. She would stop eventually. But I would need to be consistant with the schedule. It was very difficult for me, but with my husbands help, it worked. Both my children took naps until kindergarten. Nana I.

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K.P.

answers from Medford on

L.,

Don't worry, this is natural, all children have their own schedule...just because a book tells you what 'should' be happening doesn't mean that your child 'must' exhibit that behavior. My son did not have regular naps like that until he was 6 mo old; he was up and down at all hours of the day and night; he didn't sleep through the night until 4mo....the first time was at the beach:)
Sometimes what you need to do is just try different things...how does he fall asleep? Is he sort of sitting up in your arms or laying on his back? does he like to 'snuggle' and face inwards to hear your heart beat? I have heard of some parents having good success with the heart beat recording or the 'nature sounds' playing near their infant to comfort them, or those stuffed animals that have it built in. You can also try lying your son down differently; although I feel I must caution you that SIDS advocates are pretty crazy about lying your baby on his back. My sister's son would not sleep on his back at all, though, he had acid reflux and so it was necessarry for him to lie on his side or tummy. If your baby can lift his head you are probably ok letting him nap for short periods like that...to this day my son insists on taking naps on his tummy, with a pillow or stuffy to clutch.
At this age, it's important for you to realize that your son doesn't yet know the difference between night and day, and if you are breastfeeding of course he likes the security of knowing you are right there. Some babies do really well on a stiff schedule; it takes about a week and there is usually some crying but once they become accustomed to the schedule they lean when to expect things and are less insecure. Pay attention to his body rhythms for a few days, write down when he eats, when he's sleepy, when he's wide awake, and when he has dirty diapers. Then, try to set his schedule to this and follow it every day. When you lie him down for his nap, do it durring the time of day when he usually seems sleepy to you, but don't wait for him to fall asleep; he needs to learn that you will not always be there to rock him to sleep, he must learn some self comfort. Sometimes a moveable bassinet helps, you can roll it into whatever room you need to be in and that way he can still see and hear that you are nearby. Or, try making sure he has interesting things to look at in his crib, to distract him until he falls asleep. It's ok for him to cry a bit, you can let him know you are there just don't pick him up unless he becomes extremely distressed. He needs to learn that he is his own individual person now :)
Well, I hope some of this helps you out, I remember feeling frustrated about the no sleep no shower dirty house thing too, but you know you are a new mom and all moms have been through that; most people should be very understanding and you should not fret over a sink of dishes and unwashed hair. It will pass...remember your baby will never be this small and helpless again; trust me and all other moms when we tell you you will miss it, so just relax and try to enjoy your baby. The dishes aren't going anywhere!

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K.K.

answers from Eugene on

I have a 3-month old myself, but he's my second little boy. I have two kids that don't like to sleep! They tell you they should get a certain amount a day, but it's so individual. I'm also a nurse, and that only helps when my kids are sick! I know how you feel. My suggestion is a swing instead of a vibrating bouncer seat or bassinett. I think the swing feels the most like mom holding them. I have to start the swing while I'm strapping Joshua in so that he doesn't notice the change as much. It works well, he wakes up immediately if I put him anywhere else during the day. Hope it helps!

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S.C.

answers from Seattle on

I know how you feel, our son is 11 and our daughter is 8, but both of them were "cat-nappers". I had to rock both to sleep and finally got a battery operated swing to rock our son to sleep and it worked great for our daughter too. You are lucky that your child sleeps at night both of ours did not until they were three or four. Both of my kids have ADHA, with our son being worse. Our son also has other frontal lobe problems, not saying this will happen with yours but most kids with ADHA do not sleep well. I would get a good swing and make a schedule and stick to it and see if that will help. S.

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J.L.

answers from Medford on

As hard as it is....and believe me I know how hard it can really be...we had twins... I am an older woman now.... BUT my doctor (who was wonderful) ...use to say to us. ...if the baby is fed ....in clean diapers....and loved...put him/her down ...and let them fuss for a while...like 20 minutes. So that is what we would do. Knowing that my child was in total comfort, I would put on light music..dim the lights in the room..keep the door slightly open....not enough for the child to see anything (especially me if I was peeking in)...and then I would set the egg timer and wait. Now mind you it took a few times , but after a while and usually the full 20 minutes sometimes a bit longer, the child got the idea that it was quiet time....AND YES it was hard sitting there for that time and listening to every little cry. I am one person who can not stand to hear a baby cry....but I also know we need to start teaching them even at that age of what is expected. Now...One of our twins is a Dad himself and he asked me the very same thing having a problem with his son........AND so I shared with him the same idea....Be patient and be consistent........discipline yourself ( it is really hard to do to just let your child fuss )...but if you do...I know that you will be thankful later on for sure....and so will your child....Remember you are teaching your child even at that age......

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L.W.

answers from Seattle on

Hi L.! Sounds like you are a great mom! My kids have all been horrible nappers, but I found that as I quit holding them so much (which is hard with that first one) when it's nap time, they get used to laying in their crib/bassinett and not in my arms. Sometimes, you just have to let them cry themselves to sleep. I'm sure you've heard of the schedule where you let them cry 10 minutes and than check on them and tell them you love them and are there, and than wait longer the next time, etc. It is very hard to do and breaks your heart, but has always worked for me. Best of luck! I'm sure it will pay off.

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P.E.

answers from Seattle on

Hi L.,
I started taking care of my grandson when he was 3 mo. old so that his Mom could return to work.
He uses a pacifier off and on, mostly when he is tired.
Scheduling nap times and making them routine will be important now and later on.Some babies don't sleep as much as others.
Be mindful of his activity and frustration levels. Go ahead and take a nap with him-I'm sure he loves to have you close to him.
Coordinate with his doctor and share your concerns. I think above all is not to get too worried about things.He will let you know what he needs.
Oh, bye the way,(this is for later) but babies can pick up signing fairly early. I taught my grandson simple signs at 12 months and he caught on fast. You can find some books at the library.
Good luck, you are a wonderful Mom and Garrett loves you.

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A.E.

answers from Portland on

Hello-
Please read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." My advice is learn what sleepy signs look like and pay attention to them. You CAN get into an appropriate schedule while just looking at your baby's signs. You can start at an early age paying attention to sleepy signs, putting them down with routine, and helping them learn to go to sleep on their own because their own brain is sleepy. One of the most surprising, but helpful things I did was put my daught down soon after she wakes in the morning. Babies of the age of yours should only be wakeful for 45 min-1.5 hours. Look for the early naptime (really) and your baby will be more rested throughout the day. The waking after 20 to 30 minutes is possibly a sign of overtiredness...adrenaline running in the brain keeps us awake AND keeps us from sleeping well. Following your baby's sleepy signs helps you tune into his own rhythms and respects his need for solid, motionless sleep. Good luck with your little one.

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T.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hi - My son was kind of the same way. He slept in a swing a lot of the time. I would recommend buying the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". Or The Happiest Baby on the Block. Those are two good resources for ideas on how to get your child to sleep better, etc. My son is now 11 months and has trouble napping at daycare, does only about 30 - 60 min naps, but at home he will sleep for a couple hours. Is the area where you put him down dark enough? Is he swaddled? We did not get the napping thing really going until he started sleeping through the night, and we did the cry it out thing. Some babies they say have trouble because of the stimulation. I dont have an answer just some things to think about and a couple good books to recommend!

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K.H.

answers from Eugene on

Sometimes you just need to put the books away, forget the little comments people make, and take it as it comes. Not all babies need that much sleep. My daughter never took regular naps (if she barely slept at all) until she was almost 9 months old. I held her day and night until she was 4 months old. I even took baths with her. I tried to put her down, read lots of books, asked for advice-- nothing worked. If I wasn't holding her she would cry and cry and cry. I thought my son would be different. He was a little. . . not as intense but I still had to hold him most of the time. All I can say is YOU CAN DO IT! The first few months are the most challenging. It will get easier and day by day you will gain more independence. When my son was born I finally just said, "screw the books and advice! I am going to do what my gut and heart tell me to do!" And that was to hold him because it just felt right. I got a sling for him and later a carrier and that was how I got anything done around the house. Be thankful your baby will sleep at night! That is exceptional!

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L.R.

answers from Seattle on

I'm pretty sure it's normal. That's how my daughter was too. Just make sure you give them opportunities for naps (quiet time in the crib). Eventually he'll get the hang of it. There is so much learning going on in their minds it's hard for them to shut it off and get some sleep. :) Hang in there...

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A.U.

answers from Portland on

Hi L.,

My daughter was exactly the same way, except she did not sleep the night through until she was two. I resorted to napping with her. I would put a barrier on one side of her so she could not roll off the bed. Put my face about chest level to her so that I would not roll on her. We both would get about 2 hours of sleep that way. If family bed is not comfortable to you, a bed is made that attaches to the side of your bed and allows you to touch your baby still. I still did not get alot done in the house, but we were all much happier since we weren't exhausted. Good Luck

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J.G.

answers from Anchorage on

many moms wish their babies would do what yours does.. they are up every hour at night feeding their baby. I understand about not getting stuff done though.

People LOVE babies.... perhaps you could find a trustworthy neighbor girl or other mom with older kids that would be willing to take the baby for you for a period of time so you can take a nap - and they can deal with holding him or take him on a walk while you get some cleaning done etc.? or see if they can come to your house to hold him or play with him to keep him distracted while you do your thing.. that way you are available to feed him when it is time - or they could do a little of both... take him to their house for an hour or two.. then stay there with him for a spell.

Every baby is different on what amount of sleep they require and even the number you read is just an "average" your son just night require less. 2 out of 5 of mine required much lses sleep than the other three of mine, you can't really force them to sleep... but maybe consider waking him up earlier in the day?

You may also want to consider if he is having some problems with digestion. If you are nursing him it is possible you are eating something that is bothering him, or he has allergies proteins in foods you eat will pass through to your milk. And he may have no outward symptoms. My almost 5 year old screamed his first year or so.. some to find out at about age 1 he was diagnosed with some food allergies and I was still nursing him them.. so those foods he was getting from me and what he ate. He calmed down and the screaming went away after we eliminated his offending foods.

you may just have a very alert baby that needs little sleep compared to some others.... amusing toys (like the ones they sit under that have toys hanging down for him to play with) or someone else to amuse him might be the way to relieve you.

best wishes.

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