Help! My Preemie Won't Eat, and the Doctors Are Worried About His Weight Gain!

Updated on February 26, 2009
A.J. asks from Conley, GA
20 answers

Hi! This is my first question. I have a preemie, "Jamie" who was seven weeks early. At birth, he weighed 4 pounds. At a year old, he is now a scant 15 pounds. Developmentally, he is right on target, taking first steps and even speaking several words (dada, mama, no, cj) and doing the things on the milestone assesment. The doctors are so concerned with his weight, they have sent us for blood work and have asked me to stop nursing to get him on high calorie formula. He refuses the breast more that two or three times a day, and absolutely refuses milk, formula, soy milk, and most juices. With solid foods, he is equally as picky. He loves berries, steamed veggies or apples, saltines, cheese cubes- nothing that will pack on very many calories. I am a former chef, so I KNOW I can cook. None of my family is fat, but we are a family that lives to eat, and the baby barely eats to live. Jamie will have none of it, though. He wont eat much table food, nor will he eat much baby food. He is the king of "NO" in the land of "Scrawny". What should I do? Any advice will help, as I am at a loss for what to do. Im praying, but that's not really giving him much of an appetite!

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone who gave me advice. You guys really made me feel like I am on the right track with what I am doing, and you gave me a real shoulder to worry on. I am actually no longer worried, thanks to yall. I am NOT giong to stop breastfeeding yet, and I will try to offer some balances in the textures of his foods, like some rich things offered with his regular snacks that he likes. I am really afraid that I will wind up with a sugar or butter addict, or both, so I have really been trying to stand my ground on the butter and sour cream in everything rule. I have even considered Nestle Quick in Breast Milk!!!!! I have not tried it yet, though. The doctors give you that "look", as if you think you know more than them, and I second guess myself as the one who really knows my child. Thanks for your affirmation. It makes me feel like Im on the right path. Confidence to try and a little reassurance, in my opinion, is more important than actually knowing it all! BTW: Thanks to all who like my profile- it feels great to be liked for who I actually am. Acceptance rocks!

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M.T.

answers from Spartanburg on

Molasses would be my first bet. Then honey and then herbal tea. But molasses is usually the winner.Tastes good, helps with digestion and constipation, and increases hunger. I have always kept black srap molasses to help everyone in the house including pets, children,and cancer patients wen they have no desire to eat. I hope this helps, but it sounds like you have it under contol already.

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J.O.

answers from Atlanta on

I know that children often will not eat what they have allergies to. My granddaughter would not drink anything but breast milk. She threw up everything else when forced. She has a milk allergy. I know of another child who did not like peanut butter or peanuts. The child went into shock when very hungry and given peanuts on a plane. Now the parents understand that the dislike was her body's way to indicate a starting allergy. I know this is not an answer but try various foods until you find what works.

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T.D.

answers from Atlanta on

My daughter was a preemie. 13 weeks early weighing just under 2 lbs. She didn't hit any of the charts for height or weight until she was 3. But she was always healthy and a really good eater. I think the other moms are on the right path about having him checked for food allergies. That's the most likely issue, if there is one. The biggest issue of course is making sure he's healthy. Weight gain should not be the focus. So once you've done a few tests and you know he's healthy (and/or what exact issues he's facing) just focus on getting healthy food in his stomach. He'll be fine. You'll be fine. So take a deep breath and don't stress too much.

T. D

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M.R.

answers from Atlanta on

I have a son who was born 1 month early--he weighed 4 lbs. and 15 oz. He is well below the curve in height and weight at almost 3 years old but he is above the average 3 yr. old in vocabulary, motor skills and intelligence. My son weighs 27 lbs. now--he should be 35+. My pediatrician said as long as he is progressing and has regular bowel movements not to worry about it.

I'm not worried. I love my little guy. He is smaller than his friends but he isn't bothered by it and he does everything they do. You don't want to stress him out at the dinner table or make a big deal out of eating or he may become stubborn and not eat at all. I usually let mine graze all day on healthy snacks--he knows when he is hungry and he eats at those times. If you can find a few healthy things that he likes to eat, provide LOTS of those for him to graze on all day and he'll survive!

Just be happy to know you can feed your child fattening things without him gaining too much weight and that you probably won't have to worry about diabetes in the future!

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L.C.

answers from Albany on

I would question doctors that want to take the baby off breast milk. It has so much that your child needs from antibodies to necessary nutrition. My 1st daughter was 8 lb, 10 oz when she was born, dropped some weight, and then was slow to put weight on, but weighed in around 19 or 20 pounds at one year. She's now 9 1/2 and just hit 60 pounds. As a first time mom, her pediatrician told me, as long as she's going up in HER weight chart (not compared to the percentile to anyone in her age group), has glossy eyes, can cry, and is voiding (urinating and pooping), there's usually nothing to worry about.

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M.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Kids are naturally picky eaters but what you have to figure out is what he likes to eat. Have you tried adding chocolate syrup to his milk? Also offer him more of the cheese cubes as cheese is higher in fat. Try some of the Gerber snacks. Also offer him something to eat as much as possible. My daughter is a picky eater too she is 2 years and 4 months and weighs 25 pounds but she is a pretty healthy eater. She doesn't like sweets, she would rather eat fresh fruit. I hope this helps.

Also has your son suddenly stopped gaining weight or has he been pretty consistent in his percentiles? If he has been consistent that is the key.

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D.P.

answers from Atlanta on

I LOVE your "a little about me" -- I already like you!

I feel your pain -- I HATE worrying about a child's health and feeling so helpless to fix things!!!

http://www.liveperson.com/experts/health-medicine/diet-nu...

Ask the pediatrician about PediaSure/Ensure -- or putting Ovaltine in milk... High fat foods like the cheese cubes he'll eat, black olives slices, avocado slices...?

Good luck!

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T.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I wouldn't worry about it much. None of my 5 children were premies. All of them weighed 18 lbs at their first year checkup. Even now my 9 yo weighs 55 lbs, my 7 yo weighs 45 lbs, and my 3 yo weights 25 lbs. As long as your child is gaining weight and not losing it and he is healthy you shouldn't worry about it.
T.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I'm thinking could you plan a forbidden trip to McDonalds? Most kids love their food because it is so bad for them (the bigger kids would probably love it!) Do you big kids think going there is a treat? My thought is will he pattern after the bigger kids? If he sees them eat fatter food will he eat it? Or if the 11 or 3 year olds feed him something will he think it is better? Another thought: are you eating super healthy non-fat foods? If so your breastmilk is probably lower fat. Maybe introduce some fattier foods into your diet that could help him. I know my son would refuse the breast if I ate something he didn't like (garlic). Are you eating something that has a strong taste or odor. Hope this helps! :O)

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R.D.

answers from Spartanburg on

Hey, I just love your profile description of yourself-- you're cracking me up! I have to agree with the other moms, though-- just keep offering him food, focusing on the cheese, of course. Once he's tested for allergies, I'd try peanut butter-- my son would eat anything if I put peanut butter on it. Since you're a good cook, you know how to sneak some fat into dishes-- a little butter here, a little olive oil there. I also agree with one of the other moms that smoothies are great if your son will eat them-- you can make them as lean or as calorie-laden as you want, and you can put in the berries and things like that that he loves. I'd definitely continue nursing, though, if that's what you want to do. It's certainly the best for him. I do know of at least one friend who nursed and also supplemented with formula (once her daughter was probably 8 months or so) and it seemed to help her gain some weight. But if he's healthy and developmentally fine, don't worry. Good luck!

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B.

answers from Augusta on

It sounds like he's being a toddler.
I used to make my kids smoothies they LOVED.
I used to put in a banana some milk and some instant breakfast or nesquick , making it chocolate banana. I need to start making them again cause they were so good for them.
And things with protein in them will help him gain weight.Things like Ensure or pediasure have lots of vitamins and you can get it with extra protein.

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C.J.

answers from Savannah on

My daughter was 4 lbs at birth. She was only 3 weeks early. She was perfect in every other way. At her 1 year check up I believe she was right around 15 lbs. I know she didn't reach 20 lbs until after she turned 2. It takes little ones a while to catch up. My daughter is a great eater always has been and she weighed about the same as your son. My doc told us if she was growing on a natural curve even if it was her own curve she was fine. She said that because when she was born she wasn't even on the charts! Don't sweat it is what I say. Keep nursing him if you can because it is what is best for him. Just keep introducing foods to him it can take up to 15 or 20 times before they decide they like something. If you are worried about allergies have him tested. Mommy knows what is going on better than anyone else! You know your son - you need to trust your instincts! Have you tried mild speghetti? Kids love to play in the messiness and some tends to get in. Anna's favorite food was baked potatoe lol. You just have to keep looking to find something that he will like. Offer him snacks throughout the day like fruit or crackers or veggies. Anna has always liked chips with sour cream too. You just have to find what works for you and remember to trust your instincts!

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S.B.

answers from Atlanta on

It's possible that he needs digestive enzymes -- my favorite person in times like this is Dr. Albury Gardner,off 285 at Peachtree something or other, very nice and has helped my son gain his appetite. Now he says he wants to "eat himself silly." I'd also be giving him probiotics.

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H.R.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

The Dr.s are worried, but it doesn't sound like your worried. You are the mom and know best. There is nothing with any better nutrition then your breastmilk. (If you want to continue) If he is eating healthy why worry. I wouldn't put him on any high calorie anything, this is just setting his system up later for problems.
Best of luck, sound like your doing a great job already!

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M.N.

answers from Atlanta on

My brother was a preemie, and he had horrible eating problems until he was an adult. He was a very picky eater, and if my parents tried to force him to eat anything (telling him no dessert unless he tried his broccoli), he would always throw up the offending food. My mother has since read that eating problems are common in preemies. She volunteers with her dog in the Scottish Rite rehab program, and they actually attended an "eating group" there where occupational therapists worked with preemies to try to get them to try different foods and to tolerate different textures (crunchy, mushy, creamy, etc.)

E.M.

answers from Atlanta on

My 26 years old son was the leader of the picky eaters on his time. His doctor back there said kids will use dinner time to manupulate us mothers to do what they want us to do things done their way Once you run the test and I am sure the tests will come back that everything is fine plan his meal healthy and with things he likes Try adding maybe ice cream, pasta, milk shakes, chessee, etc done at home whice are high on calories and hopefully you will see weight coming on If you learn to relax and make it fun and relaxing your son will pick the postive and start eating Try not to give any snacks between meals hopefully this way he will be more hungry at meal time and eat his good shre

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S.H.

answers from Atlanta on

A., I can remember being 15 years old and my mother was still trying to stuff calories down me because I was so skinny. I never liked food, only ate barely enough to survive, but as it turned out years later, I had a lot of food allergies. Believe me, now that I'm much older, I have no problems liking food or putting on pounds (unfortunately). I suggest you do see a doctor who will test him for food allergies and if you cannot find one, do some internet research on it yourself. Better that he's a little skinny now than overweight. Do not, I repeat do not give in to the temptation to just stuff him with sugary foods to make him gain weight, though. If he's eating healthily and getting enough vitamins and minerals through food, it shouldn't matter that he's a bit skinny. The problem with sugary foods is that by feeding him more sugar laden foods now, you can actually trigger an addiction to sugar in him which could cause him all kinds of health problems. For me, I always liked raw foods -- raw carrots, celery, even barely steamed green beans, white rice with a little butter, salt and pepper -- and still do -- mostly because those foods never have caused allergic reactions in my stomch! Since he's too little probably to eat very many raw foods, try just steaming lightly, leaving them just a little crunchy. His distaste for foods could have a lot to do with texture, as well as taste. And like I said, he very well may have some food allergies that are causing him to dislike the fattier foods you've tried thus far. Since young children need milk, you do need a good sub for that. My oldest daughter was just like me about food, but she loved cheese (and still does), so I gave her plenty of cheeses to make up for her dislike of milk, but you have to be careful with that, too, and not give him too much of it. Have you tried macaroni and cheese? Most kids love that and I think even one year olds can eat it. Don't worry if he doesn't love a lot of variety; just make sure he gets enough minerals and vitamins from what he does eat. With time, he'll like more foods. My daughter grew up to become a gourmet chef. I now will eat anything that isn't nailed down, but still dislike the foods I am allergic to and I stay away from those. Good luck with your picky eater!

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M.J.

answers from Charleston on

Hi,
I would keep an eye on this but not give it much worry. He sounds like he is on target with everything else and his weight is not abnormal considering his birth. I would not do anything 'high calorie'. Dont feel bad about stopping bf, the most important components come from the first 6 months of your milk anyway so he already has them. Avacado is great. If he likes berries, try making him a smoothie with them. Add in the ice cream and milk. Dont try to add on the pounds in an unhealthy way. He will gain slowly because his organs are still playing catch up so to say. Keep experimenting and working with him. My only other thoughts would be of vaccinations. If he is vaccinated, it can slow growth, especially in premature infants. Remember you do have a choice on this matter. I would also suggest gettting him checked by a Chiropractor. This will stimulate his nervous system and inturn, his growth and development. Please ask more if I can help. Best of luck!

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D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Have you tried avacados? They are a great fat and very yummy, especially if you put a tad of salt and garlic powder for the kiddos. I actually put a little bit of salsa in mine for my little one. She loves it with chips now.

What about almond milk? Rice milk, to me, is too sweet, but almond milk would be pretty good.

Try to get him to eat more often, even if it's a bite or two.

Also, how about a healthy cookie? Sweeten with applesauce or stevia and have oats and other healthy 'goodies' in it.

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J.M.

answers from Savannah on

My son was not preemie, but was definitely on the skinny side. He is really tall, which no doctor ever took into account and my entire family is really thin. Make sure that you look not only at his foods, but his genetics also! I know that may sound silly, but I would get so frustrated with doctors telling me he didn't weigh enough, but completely forgetting that he was a foot taller than any kid his age!

Again may sound silly, but have they check him for allergies? My daughter was allergic to soy and to milk until she was over a year old and I had to put her on special formula. She wouldn't eat anything else either until we found it...it was called nutramagin! It does not contain soy or milk, but is of course twice as expensive as any other formula!

If there is a problem with his eating I agree with the cutting down on snacks. Also, maybe you can "sneak" fatty food in by blending it in with something he likes so he doesn't really know he is getting them.

You may want to go to a natural doctor too just for a second opinion. I am sure they would do allergy testing and have some suggestions for you! Hope this helps and sorry if I sounded a little crazy...I am on allergy meds and everyone is sick here so trying to push my pregnant brain to work! ;)

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