Helping 4 Year Old Count down / Understand Time

My son is almost 4 and my husband is deployed. I don't know if there is really any way to make them understand how long it is going to be and there is certainly no way to make it easy. He loves to talk to Daddy on Skype because he can see him and my my husband videoed himself reading a bunch of stories that I put on DVD so that Clayton can watch them. We have just told Clayton that Daddy will be home around Christmas time, but he doesn't really get it and I don't expect he will before his dad gets home. Good luck!

When mine was little, here is what I did. I purchased little american flags, one for each week that we estimated he would be gone, and we planted them under a tree when he left. It was our Daddy garden. Every sunday, my kids took turns pulling out a flag, and we put them in a vase on the mantle, next to his picture. As the vase filled up, and the flags became fewer in the yard, it got exiting for my youngest that Daddy would be home. It was not exact, but it helped her see time and participate. All three of my kids loved to be the one who got to pull out the flag that week.

M.

Wow, we are so similar. My husband is getting ready to leave for a year too and is on work-ups now. We have a daddy doll and the Elmo videos too. I also have a 4.5 year old (son) and was struggling with the same issues. I googled printable calendars online the other day and found some good ones on www.chartjungle.com/calendars. I printed the current month out on our computer and taped it to our refrigerator. My son has been coloring each day with his crayons. I'm also writing down special things on it, like when Daddy pops home for a quick visit. I only have the current month up at a time, especially since we really don't know his leaving or return dates. I think that helps too. Another idea I read on the daddydoll website was to fill a large jar with Hershey kisses and your daughter can have 1 "kiss" each day from her Daddy until he comes home. Ideally, you would have the exact number in the jar, I guess. I really feel for you and look forward to reading the answers to your post!

First of all, thanks to your family for your sacrifices so we can have our freedoms. I hope he has a safe deployment and makes it home safe and sound.

I'd recommend finding a teaching supply store. Locally, we have united arts and education (here's what Google gives me for your area): http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8...

We're trying to teach our 4 year-old time, too, and they had some posters, etc. to help.
I wonder if they have something that shows all the months that you can write on with a dry erase marker to X through the days he's gone, mark the R&R dates as they become available, etc.

I do like Julia's idea, too, of having one made via Shutterfly that's personal - especially if he can send photos over from his deployment to put into the calendar and mark where his is at a given point in time.

I can't imagine not having my husband for a year or even two. So, I thank you all for your sacrifice on our behalf.

Everyone has provided great ideas for you to use. My husband was in the military and I was a teacher to military children (4 year olds), I was always trying to come up with different ways to help the children get through deployments- a lot of different ways have been told already.

1.) The good old paper chain- this is good when you have exact dates or guess-ta-mits. Kids like creating these and then take one down each day.
2.) Kisses/hugs from daddy- candy kisses/hugs in a jar (one for each child and one for yourself), have a picture of daddy "puckering up" on the inside of the lid. Then every day/night they get to give daddy a kiss and take a kiss.
3.) Calendar- when the date is unknown it is best to just have a weekly or monthly calendar. You can put stickers, x marks, or color the days in.
4.) Making care-packages- children love this! Get the free boxes from the Post Office and it is only $12 to send overseas (No weight limit). Have a different theme for each box. Also, when I was teaching and a student had a parent deployed, the other children liked to make and send cards to that student's parent.

I also had a few times in which my husband was away from our daughter due to his job. She was 3 when my husband was gone for 11 months, and she knew that it was going to be a long time before she got to see daddy. It was hard, but I always made sure she knew daddy loved her and we would see him soon. Also, it was a time for her and I to have special times- a special lunch, a walk, ice-cream, etc.

**Thank you to all the service men and women who defend our country's freedom**

I love the flag idea. Seeing the flags leave one area and return back into the home, that does sound exciting for a young child. I just had to say I love that idea. My only idea is the paper chain...but that would probably not work for this length of time. Maybe a calendar and stickers next to the bed or at the breakfast table. Last summer my son was talking in nights, now this summer (5) he's starting to learn the days of the week. This will be a great opportunity to become more familar with the calendar.
My son is doing good signing the days of the week song from Barney. That's how my brother learned when he was little.
Best of Luck, God Bless and Thank You

there are little desk calendars.. where you peel a page off each day.. at the end of the day.. this might help... good luck.. and good luck to your hubby too.. thank him for all he does for our country... May God Bless him and all the troops.. thanks :)

Just use a calendar.... and mark off the days.
It can be any ol' calendar. It does not have to be a special calendar... but you can call it a special name.

At this age... "time" is still an abstract thing, not exactly tangible per say. Even in Kindergarten and 1st grade, they are still learning about 'time.'
Usually by 2nd or 3rd grade or so... the child really 'gets' time...
what you are wanting her to understand are how many days are left... not time as in "clock work" time.
There is a difference.

I would just use a regular calendar... that you can get from any bookstore. They have those cute themed calendars.
To me, a calendar will be the most literal.... to see how many days passed... is left... how many more to go.... and she can practice 'counting' too & the days of the week etc.

For missing Daddy and for you too.... do you have "Skype"??? Skype is GREAT... www.skype.com and by using it, you can actually talk and see each other on the computer... via video.
Just get an 'eyeball' camera for your computer... and if your Husband is able to get on a computer... and e-mail you... you can both set up and plan a certain meeting time online. Maybe.

all the best,
Susan

I am not sure about counting down the days, other than a backwards calendar, but one thing a friend does when her husband is deployed is mark the 'big' amount of days in a special way. at the end of each month he is gone, they have some kind of special activity (obviously on a USMC budget, so it isn't a trip to Tahiti) It might be an art party, where the kids have friends over and they make art and send it to Daddy's Unit along with a dvd or photos of them doing it. So far she has done art, baking, cooking or grilling, volunteer service parties (where they go and do someting nice like clean up the yard of an elderly person or help someone out, just the way dady is doing). It just seems to end the month on a bang and show how much closer he is to coming home. They never know for sure when leave is either so they also practice mini 'Surprize' parties for Daddy, with signs and the whole deal so that they can welcome him home in style.

Good luck to you and Godspeed to your husband, may he return safely to your home. Thank him for his service.

D.

All of these are great ideas, however, or the shorter times away, my daughter and I count down the number of sleeps until daddy comes home. Just another suggestion!

I think letting her pick out a calendar she likes and letting her put it in her own room and marking off the days will help her. Or even better go to shutterfly.com and have a calendar made with pictures of her and her daddy.

My husband has been deployed to S.Korea for a year and we are expecting him home in about 2 more weeks. When he came home for his mid-tour, my 4 year old and I printed a picture of daddy on a regular sheet of paper and then put it in a sheet protector. Then we cut out numbers to make a count down calendar for the last 25-30 days before he would be home and taped them over the picture. Then, each day he got to take the next number off and when he could see the whole picture of daddy, he knew daddy would be there that day. He had a lot of fun taking the numbers off and keeping track of how many days were left before he would see daddy.
I have not started another countdown for him coming home this time, but will probably do something similar for the last 14 days. Good luck and have fun.