How Do We Start over Financially

Updated on July 31, 2011
V.D. asks from Bradner, OH
23 answers

My husband and I lost our house about a year and half ago because of a seperation. The house loan was in my name and the deed was in both our names. We did accumalate a lot of debt. We got back together and started paying off our debt, and thought we had it about all cleared up. Now we are expecting our 3rd child and in need of a bigger car. So I called our bank today, only to be declined by them. Saying there was too much open collections. I don't understand how that can be when just about everything was all taken care of. I mean, his mom went through it line by line and called people and either paid it off or made arrangements with them. I don't even know where to go from here so we can make better decisions in our life and get better things....I need some help and some advice....

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So What Happened?

I understand that we lost our house part and that made our credit plumit, but it's that him and his mom went through his credit report a year ago and took care of things that we owed on. I have pages and pages of notes that she took of who she talked to and what amount was paid and who she talked to. I don't understand how she says there are a lot of open collections, but I thought everything was paid off.

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A.H.

answers from Seattle on

It sounds like you need to call back the bank and ask what those open collections are. Then you'll know who you need to call to straighten things out.

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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

ditto Dave Ramsey :)

Loved Total Money Makeover!

You can also listen to his radio show from his website for free (both live and archived material).

http://www.daveramsey.com/radio/home/

There's lots of other free info on his website- look under Tools.

Best wishes :o)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Get a Dave Ramsay book: Either "Financial Peace" or "Total Money Makeover". You can get either for FREE at your library--or buy a used O. on Amazon.

His *mom* took care of all of the debt? Really?

I think you both need to know EVERYTHING about where every earned dollar goes and what's out there in your name.

If your house was foreclosed--don't expect stellar credit. That's pretty a bad ding on your credit.

Here's the secret: Live on LESS than you make.
You don't need a bigger car if you need a loan to get it. Sell a car you have and pay ca$h for whatever *bigger* c r you can get. It might not be pretty, but it'll be all yours.

***ETA*** Anyone can just have a relative "fix" things (creditors know this)--the fact is that the act of losing the house was a big demerit on your credit and it will likely take years to "fall" off.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

I am surprised that you are surprised. When you loose a house to foreclosure, it will stay on your credit for 7 years. You and your husband will have a hard time getting credit for a long time.

Any time you are late with payment that goes on your history. Dave Ramsey is a great source to use. You may need to keep the car you have until you have cash for a bigger one.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Ditto on the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace class. Most churches offer it from time to time. I think this would be an awesome way to climb your way out. It helped us alot!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

It may be b/c of the outstanding balance on the house? I would call the bank again and ask for a print-out of your outstanding collections.

If you have poor credit history (from a foreclosure) and have anything on your credit cards currently you may be denied. I am assuming that you went into foreclosure here... could be wrong. Assuming foreclosure, I believe that impacts your credit for 7 years.

Consider paying cash for a used vehicle or going through the dealership if you need financing... either way you are going to have better luck with a used car.

The only way to start over is to start over. You need to "prove" yourself credit worthy over a period of time before you can have "credit" for a major purchase. Consider opening a credit card and putting GAS ONLY on it. Pay it off IN FULL every month to start building your credit again. Do not maintain a balance on anything, but start proving yourselves credit-worthy on a regular basis.

18 months after foreclosure- your credit is still non-existent. You paid off your debt, but probably very recently. Banks aren't going to lend you money for quite a while!

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M.B.

answers from Lafayette on

Have you heard of Dave Ramsey's program Financial Peace University? I have been trained my him & his staff to bring this program to our church. I went back a few months later & was trained on how to be a Financial Coach. Our church offers our coaching services free to those who have taken FPU and it costs $100 (total...not per visit) to those that haven't taken it. I'd be happy to help you! We have FPU starting up again on September 12th, with registration beginning in a week or so. Please, please write me back if you are interested in more info!

For now, my advice is to pull one credit report for yourself & your husband. You need to look it over (with your mother in law if that helps) and see what it says about each one -- whether it's been paid off, canceled, or sent to collections. That will give you some understanding as to what is going on. It could also give you some power if you can prove the delinquent items are taken care of. Start there. By paying off debt, you are on the right track to financial freedom. Don't lose your hope!

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

Now that you've been declined for credit, you can get a free copy of your credit file. Then You and your husband go through that line by line and see what is still open. It's time for you to take control of your own financial situation. Appreciate mom and learn everything you can from her, but begin taking ownership of it. See if there is someone at the bank that can have a face to face meeting with you to discuss the things they found and what ideas they have for you.

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B.B.

answers from Portland on

You ask "how do we start over financially?" Don't go into more debt! Buy a used car with cash only or figure out a way to stay in your current car with 3 kids. Pay the amount you would expect to pay on a monthly car payment to your savings account and when you have enough saved, then purchase a car.

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M.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Maybe it's not open collections so much as open, available credit. If you got things up to date and paid for but left the accounts open, you're available credit to income ratio (in addition to the house issue) will keep you from getting a loan. They look at it like you could possibly go out and re-rack up all that debt and then not be able to pay it back.

As others have stated, pull a copy of your credit reports. Make sure you get both yours and your husband's credit reports. Is there something other than the house on YOUR report that his mom couldn't take care of? I say this because if it's been over a year since you paid this stuff off, then it should show on there by now. Also, by paid off, do you mean paid in full or negotiated payments that allowed some of the debt to be forgiven? If it is the latter, this will still show on your reports also.

Once you know what your credit looks like and what has been taken care of on paper vs. actually taken care of and get it cleared up, then it will be easier to help you figure out which decisons need to be tweeked.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

To directly answer your question, you start from the beginning. Get rid of all your debt, and then build your credit rating back up by proving yourself as credit worthy.

Do you have a family budget? Are you currently living within your means? These are the first steps to making better decissions. You need to know where all your income is going. Every single penny! Track your expenses for 3 months, yes every penny. Write it all down so you have a visual. Then take a look at it and decide where you can cut back and start saving.

I find the information you provided to be conflicting.
" We started paying off our debt", and "THOUGHT we had it ABOUT all cleared up". If you started paying it, did you finish? You say "thought" and "about", you should have documents and you should know what's cleared up and what isn't.
"His mom", what about you and your husband. Your adults, yes, it's great that his mom has helped you out with handling all this paperwork and phone calls, etc, but untimatly you're responsible. What did his mom use to go through line by line, his credit report and your credit report? Have you taken the time to look through all her documentation? Have you discussed it with her so you understand it?

You had bad credit 1-1/2 years ago. Bad credit just doesn't go away. It stays on your record for 7 years or more.

If you really want to become financially stable you need to take control. Ask for advise, ask for assistance, but do it yourself. Start by obtaining a credit report. Remember that you need to get one for you and one for hubby. Untimately, you should get all 6 (2 from each of the 3 reporting agencies). I would also find out what your credit score is. Go to annualcreditreport.com. Then make sure that everything is "clear".

Why was it that the mortgage was in your name only, but the deed was in both your names (seems odd)? That would mean that your credit was completely distroyed, but hubby's credit may have stayed fairly clean depending upon the other debt and whose name it was in. So did you apply for the car loan in just your name, both of you, or just hubby? It would make sense that you would not qualify.

As far as the car... Do you know the answer to these quetions... New or used? How much of a down payment do you have, not including your trade in? Why are you trying to get a loan, rather than just paying for the car and not going into additional debt? How much of a monthly payment can you afford? If you know you can afford a $250 a month payment, do you know what price range car you should be looking for? Have you tried putting away $250 per month (just using that figure as an example) for at least 3 months so you have proved to yourself that you can afford it?

Good luck to you. Remember that are lots of mamas here that have lots of great advise.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Since the bank declined the loan, ask them for a copy of the credit report that they pulled for you. Then ask them to explain what they consider to be too many open collections. You need to be reviewing the same paperwork, be on the same page.

Since you had a lot of debt, even if you paid off those cards, it will show your payment history, etc. If you have a lot of store credit cards, that will go against you more than 2 or 3 Visa/MC cards.

If you made arrangements and finished those, ask the lenders to update your report, close store cards with a note that it was at your request, etc.

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K.N.

answers from Cleveland on

Just because something was paid off doesn't mean it isn't still on your credit report. It takes them a lot longer to update that you paid than it does for them to say you are behind. (and married or not sometimes one person has better credit, all loans are in my name, because even though I don't work, I qualify for them because I have good credit and my husband doesn't).

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C.W.

answers from Allentown on

It sounds like part of the problem is having too many cooks in the kitchen. I'm not even sure how anyone agreed to negotiate with a third party. Most bill companies won't even speak to me about accounts that are only in dh's name.

It appears that all of your info is second hand. Make the phone calls and pull the records yourself. Your fresh start should begin with handling matters yourself.

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S.D.

answers from Albany on

If there's any way to avoid buying another car then do that while you work on repairing your credit. Look into car pools, mass transit etc. as your first option. If that is not possible, buy used or negotiate a trade. My neighbor bought my old car and it is still working well 2yrs later. Yes, it is old and ugly but it works. The neighbor fixed our porch and did some other work for us instead of paying cash for the car. Now we know each other better and will most likely barter and trade in the future.

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H.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Everyone gave some great advice here. One thing I thought I might add is that if you have a sufficient number of seats with seatbelts in your current vehicle and the issue is fitting three car seats, I can vouch that the Sunshine Kids Radian car seats have a slim enough profile to run 3 across.

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M.K.

answers from Columbus on

First of all, how old are you? Why is the mother-in-law involved at all? Second, there is NO way the deed could be in both names and the loan in your name only! Something fishy right there!
Third, what on earth are you doing having another child if you can't afford where you are now? Do you not know how the first two came about?
Sorry I'm sounding so harsh but you're sounding just like my VERY immature nieces that drive me crazy with all their spending but yet they never can afford the things that are important! We've probably all been in a position of not having enough money but I make do with what I've got instead of spending more and/or spending ONLY on the necessary things! Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

I haven't read the other replies so sorry if this has already been said, but I would ask the bank for a copy of the credit report they used. Legally they have to give you the specific information that was used against you. The creditors/collections people may not have removed the items from your credit report or marked them as paid/resolved. I had a similar thing happen to me and I had to call one creditor three times and speak to a supervisor before it finally got done. Good luck!

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

I would contact the bank again as sugested. But one thing you can do yourself, as shuld your husband, is requ3est a free credit report from at least one of the credit agencies--at least at first. Go to www.annualcreditreport.com this is the site setup by the Federal Govt to allow consumers access. You choose which bureau you want and then you are directed via a link to that bureau's site. You can setup an address or access as they call it so you can view your report online for 30 days. Look over the report and see if there are any errors. If items are incorrect or they have been paid off, dispute them. there should be a link for this as well or at least instructions. Send any proof you have. This should be your first step to taking care of your credit business.

M.P.

answers from Sacramento on

You may have to save up your money and just purchase a new"er" car with cash. You can also dispute the stuff on your report that is inaccurate and have it removed. If it has been paid and is not showing as paid, then dispute it. That should help some!

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M.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Pull a credit report on you and your husband and see what there exactly is on it and take care of it yourself. My husband has his own credit cards and such and I wasn't able to talk to them about arrangements or such and I am his wife.

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

You should get a copy of your credit reports from all 3 bureaus. If they are still showing up then you have to send them proof of payment. But even if you had some that you made arrangements on and didn't pay in full and if you had your house foreclosed, it takes 7 years for that to come off. From a banks perspective you probably are still a risk because for a 5 year car loan who is to say you wouldn't be back in the spot you were in last year. I don't mean that offensively at all either. I don't know what to do regarding the car, but maybe go without for awhile and save up if possible

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M.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Ditto to Stacey B. The house will taint your credit for 7 years, despite any other good you've done to clean up the rest of your finances/cards etc.

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