How Would You Feel About This Gift?

Updated on January 05, 2012
B.S. asks from Lansing, MI
39 answers

Just curious how you would feel about this gift.

A gift card towards a mini vacation that will cost you at least an additional 195.00 just to stay there, then additional money for the gas to get there and back - about 158 miles, and additional money for food to eat while there. All this and you probably would only be staying two nights as the gift card really only covers almost one night, however, if you stay for one night the price of the room goes up almost double...so you might as well book two nights. And although you could probably come up with the extra money...you aren't sitting on a huge excess amount of money. You did not ask for this, the person that gave it to you thought it would be a better family gift verses buying gifts for everyone in the family.

How you would you feel about receiving a gift like this? Would you use it?

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So What Happened?

I actually, did not put how I felt about this gift because I did not want to sway the responses. I stated the gift as is, because that is exactly how it was given. Its a gift for an expensive place, 158 miles away, and no there is no way to store food...unless I guess you bring a cooler. And no, no one was asked how they felt about it. I have been to this place before and its expensive. I think the gifter was trying to be thoughtful, but did not think this gift through. I personally am ok with the gift. As far as the gift card is concerned I'm not sure if there is an expiration date, if so I think it wouldn't be at least for a year, I think. However, when this was bought bonus bucks were given and those do expire on March 31st this coming year...so there is now a sense of urgency to use these bonus bucks. The bonus bucks add up to close to $50.00, so its not really something we want to waste. Another family member that was given the gift also...is not too excited about it. I don't really blame them, though. That is why I just wanted to know how the majority would feel about the gift.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Do you also have to sit in an "informational" sales pitch while you are there? It almost sounds like one of those time share "opportunities." I would not at all feel obligated to use the gift, even if it isn't a sales pitch type of deal. I wonder if you could list it on Craig's List or something, and use the money you get for it for something you might really want or need.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I think this is a thoughtless gift. One night's lodging is nothing when you add up all the other expenses. Depending on who gave it to you I might just give it back, saying we can't afford it. Or try selling it on Craig's list.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

I would not like it & I would probably not use it, honestly. Any gift that forces you to spend money is not a very well thought out or considerate gift, IMO. I would probably sell it on craigslist & just try to get some money out of it.

It almost sounds like they might've re-gifted it to you because they didn't have the money to buy separate gifts.

There are several other ways to give a "family" gift that would not cause the receivers to have to spend more money - movies, season pass somewhere, etc.

IMO, if you cannot afford to pay for the ENTIRE vacation, then you shouldn't be giving a gift like that, end of story. I hate when people give gifts that need batteries & they forget to include the batteries, so stuff like this really irks me.

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More Answers

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

The way you phrased the question will get you the answer you are looking for.
But how was the gift itself worded? What were they trying to give you? For instance I was given a gift certificate for a massage by my sil. The place is a full hour away from me. How thoughtless, right? What about my time and gas? I could phrase it like that.

But, she also gave my daughter a gift cert to the same place and she included on the card a suggestion that we spend a day together at the outlet malls near there together. So, it was actually a very thoughtful loving gift and I am really looking forward to it.

If you were given a gift of a free cruise and then read the fine print showing you will have to come up with extra $? Well, the gift giver wanted to give you a cruise, not an expense. The thought behind it was nice. Even if the execution was flawed. It could be possibl;e she didn't understand the extra costs.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

It was not a well thought out gift, that is for sure,

I do not know that we would be able to use it.

I would consider telling them "I appreciate the thought, but we feel like we need to give it back to them, because we all are not going to be able to afford it. But thank you for the thought."

And then just give it back to them. Do not expect anything back for it. But if they paid for this "deal" THEY have money invested in it. It would be a shame for the money to go to waste.

I gave my BIL and his sons a day of Paintball. for 6 people. I had been given this Gift Certificate from a company I had volunteered with .

It covered everything except the snacks and beverages. I called and spoke with my SIL first to make sure they could and would use this. She said yes, they would love it and not to give them any other gifts, because it was so generous.. It was valued at $300.. I told her I felt bad because I had not paid for it.. She said no payment was made, but I had donated my time for it.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Nope, wouldn't use it. I would go as far to say I would return it to the giver and tell them to either get a refund or use it themselves - that you aren't able to use b/c of the additional cost and you would hate for their money to go to waste. I think it is kind of rude to give a gift like that but that's just me.

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B.K.

answers from Chicago on

This sounds familiar.

I'll bet the person giving the gift got it as a perk for buying something for herself. At least that's what it was in our case. We chose not to use the "gift" card as it would have cost us more money than the actual gift.

The person who gave it to us (a known cheap a$$) never even asked us if we used it, so she didn't really care. She just wanted to unload something she got for free and couldn't afford and tried to make it look like some sort of generous gift, which it wasn't.

If I were you I'd thank the gift giver and tell her/him that it just isn't possible for you to use this without spending a lot of extra money you don't have right now. Let her/him know that maybe someone else would appreciate such a nice gift, but that you are unable to use it.

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V.C.

answers from Dallas on

How I felt about it would depend on who gave it to me. If it was someone I barely knew, I would give it to someone who could use it or sell it. I would write a thank you note to the person who gave it to me and thank them for thinking of me.
If it was someone I knew well, I would tell them, "Thank you so much for thinking of us. But we really cannot take advantage of this right now. I would like to return it to you so you can give it to someone who can use it so it does not go to waste."

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

No. If a gift like that is to be given, it should cover all expanses (including gas, food, spending money etc). The only exception being, the family has already planned this vacation and so now, you've paid for one night of their stay.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Hmm... Sounds like they got this for taking a trip themselves and are dumping it on others. OR if you take the trip, they get something out of it.

I think I would give it back to them and tell them you can't afford to go. Then they won't do it again.

Seriously, if you say nothing, you may be stuck in the "so when are you going? Did you go yet? Did you have a good time?". Don't lie to get them off your back - you could end up digging yourself a hole and get another one next year...

Dawn

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I would return it to the person who gave it to me. Simply explain that with all of the extra expenses involved you really can't afford it.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Sounds like a timeshare type of promotional to me. I don't know if I would be pissed. I think I would be like "umm okay". I would probably use it for hubby and I. Is it to a specific place or hotel chain? Can it be used anywhere?

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S.R.

answers from McAllen on

This sounds like my husband's aunt.
She gets a lot of those type of perks because she travels, the expensive way, a lot. And most of the times we are unable to use her gifts because we don't travel often, and like you, we may not have the money to cover the additional expenses if we were to use it. Like you said it's not a well thought out gift, but it is a gift nonetheless, and you should be thankful for it. In our case our aunt is a beautiful person and she is not mean spirited at all, she is just the type of person who thinks we'd find it useful, if she didn't she'd give us something else. I'm sure whoever gave you that gift certificate, thought you could use a mini-vacay and wanted to help out, that's all.
What I usually do, is, my sister works for an airline and she travels somewhat too, and since she doesn't have children she can use them more often than not, I trade it for things with her like a scarf or shoes or the like, what I can't trade with her I either give it away or sell it. craigslist is great for that. A lot of people are looking to go on vacation and a discount is never unappreciated. I would advice against returning it, but I would totally advice for selling or trading it, its your gift and you decide what you do with it.
Good Luck!.

3 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

For our wedding my dad gave us the air fair to Italy but not the hotels. I didn't mind coming up with the additional money. I suppose to answer the question it would be helpful to know where the mini vacation will be.

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I really hate gifts that require me to spend money in order to use. This one sounds a little too expensive for my taste. Unless you were planning on doing something like this anyway, I probably would not use this.

My MIL has been known to give gifts that require money. The year that I was pregnant with our first child, she gave my husband an XM radio. She did add some gift cards to cover the first few months of the service. But, I still had to schedule the installation when I was 8.5 months pregnant. Finances were going to be tough with a new baby and she sends my husband something that would eventually cost us monthly. I KNOW that she didn't intend the gift to be thoughtless, but man was I annoyed about it.

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Personally, I would love it because vacations are my favorite thing ever! Gift cards usually don't expire. I would plan it out far enough in advance to save a little money and look for ways to cut expenses if need be, and totally enjoy it.

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

IF I couldn't afford all the additional cost (which to me, sounds expensive) then I would sell it on Craigslist... could be someone out there lives close to the place and it wouldn't cost them as much to use the gift card.. You may not get the complete value, but even if you got $100 to $150 that would be great ..

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

No. It would upset me and I would not appreciate it at all. I don't like being *forced* into a vacation like that. This is not a real gift, this is someone trying to impose THEIR idea of what YOUR family needs on you.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

yuk, could you try to sell it online?

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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

Well, were you planning on going on this mini vacation already? And the gift giver was trying to help out?

Or the mini vacation was completely, solely and independently their own idea?

If you had no input, and it's costing extra $$ that you simply do not have and the mini vacation will be more stress than it's worth then ditto Momma11.

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C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I think I might re-gift a gift like that. (Unless it's somewhere you had been wanting to go anyway?) It might be a great wedding or engagement gift, or anniversary gift for someone.

It's one of those things where you kind of wonder what the gift giver was thinking. If they ever ask you if you went, you could say, "Well, we didn't have the extra $500 that it would have cost us to go there, so we gave it to Bob and Martha for their anniversary. They went and had a great time." At least that way the giver of this gift knows not to give you that kind of gift in the future, but that somebody used it at least... :-/

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I think the giver was short sighted, and did not think the gift through.

I would not use the gift. I would most likely find someone who could and give it to them. In fact, I wonder if the giver, didn't re-gift this to you!!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I once had a friend adopt a cat for me as a gift, an adult 30 pound cat! I would rather have gotten the gift card!

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

Graciously say thank you and sell it on craigslist as it is obvious you are unable to use it and it is rude to essentially say to someone here's your gift it wasn't good enough(even if they did or did not understand the financials of it). You could call the place and find out if they could discount the first night and explain you never intended to go there but may try it if they give you a break due to the extra cost and who knows it may become a new place you'd love to go.

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K.A.

answers from Detroit on

For my family, we LOVE to travel and explore new places. I would totally use it! As long as it didn't have an expriation date, I would budget for a mini vacation in the future.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

If you mean, a gift card to a specific resort or bed and breakfast, no, I don't think it's appropriate to give someone a gift that can only be used somewhere that they have to pay additional money. If I could not afford the rest of the money, I would not use the gift card. Maybe you could sell it to someone else at part of its value.

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

You may have been the recipient of a regift (or they passed on a freebee they received), so don't feel too guilty about not using it.

I would call the organization and ask them about the expiration date. The laws have changed lately and if you have more information you'll have a better of idea of your interest in using or selling the card.

But in the end, it's a weeny kind of gift, in a way. But I've given one of those myself so really, I can't judge.

Maybe you can buy, at a discount, the giftcard from the other family member so at least someone can use them both. Or maybe they'll just give you the card and say "I'm glad you can use it! Happy New Year!"

PS Only use it if you can afford it. You shouldn't feel captive by it in any way.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

I would say thank you and figure out how to use it. Sometimes you need a
gift like that to make you get away for a couple of days. Hope you go and
have fun. If you really cannot afford to take husband go with a girlfriend
and you split costs of everything.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

No, but I would try to sell it to that company that buys gift cards. Then I would take the cash and buy us gifts. If the person asked, I would say we could not afford the extra expenses and the kids really wanted x.

I do think older people get suckered into these "deals" and have no clue the real costs.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Sounds like too much trouble to me. I probably wouldn't use it.
And I would hate to "re-gift" it as I try NOT to buy stuff for people that ends up costing them more money. If you re-gift it, it could turn into that proverbial O. of 5 fruitcakes that are circling the globe!

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J.T.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Does the gift card have an expiration date on it? Is it something that has to be used right away? For the last couple of years a family member has given us a gift certificate to a hotel a couple of hours away from us that has an indoor water park for us to use with the kids as a 'mini vacation' as it were. Last year we opted to go over Christmas break, and the gift card didn't quite cover the room as we went during a peak time. There was a fridge in the room, so we brought some food with us and used other gift cards that we had from someplace else for dinner out.

This year, we are opting to wait a couple of months and go when the rates are a bit lower and the gift card will cover the entire cost of the room. Yes, we will still have the expense of gas and some food, but we have some time to plan a bit.

It sounds like the intent was very well meaning. I'm sure that she felt that this would be something that you would all enjoy as a family, and that she was helping you to be able to have this special family time. It may be, like others have stated, that she was unaware of the actual costs of the trip, or that the extra that you would need to pay would not be something that you can do at this time.

If you think you would enjoy the trip, and can save it until you are able to take it, then do so. If not, then I would try to sell/swap on Craig's List or one of sites made for people to swap gift cards on. Just make sure that you would be comfortable telling this person that you sold/swapped the gift card if/when asked later how you enjoyed the place.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Well, if someone gave me that gift, I would be excited at first (we don't get to go on vacations much), then I would think about how much money we need to save to go there. I don't work, and my husband is self-employed so he doesn't get vacation days or anything (he's his own boss) -much less paid vacation- so we'd need to factor loss of income as well (he works weekends, too)

The last of my thoughts would be the fact that they didn't make it "all inclusive". I'd immediately feel guilty about all the money spent if they did that. Like I said, we don't get to go on vacation very much... but, when we do, we DO have to pay for everything anyways, always. We never get those vacations that include food and all. And by the way, 158 miles is NOTHING! It also means that you DON'T need to spend that extra night, cause it isn't far away. Good deal, to me!

I'd be happy and start saving a little bit (50 bucks a month or more) until we go.

I'd also be happy that we didn't get actual STUFF as gifts. I hate clutter:)

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

If there is another family member that was given the gift also, why not just give it to them, or ask them to pay $50 for it, that way they could go and have the two nights covered. You would get $50 to do what you want.

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E.M.

answers from Honolulu on

I would be pissed.

I would act gracefully but I would also sell the gift for a little less than the price off.

M.M.

answers from Houston on

I probably would not use it, because we can't afford the extras. But it sounds like the givers didn't take all of that into consideration. Perhaps they got some kind of bonus perk or referral for buying a gift card there, so tehy gave it to you. Do they visit the place as well?

You can sell or trade unwanted gift cards online though!

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

I would be thankful that someone recognized that you and your family need a mini vacation and i would be happy about it and try to plan something for two nights n three days somewhere you all can enjoy and be thankful for the help on someof the vaca. If you have a birthday or someoen else going on this vaca before the vaca they may want to ask for some more money or gift cards to help pay for more of the trip. I would be thankful they did not have to do anything for you or your family n i feel it was a nice gester.!! exceptance is hard at such a big holiday and some feel that some of there recievings are not really what they expect. but they can learn from them and except them they end up being better people by them. Enjoy!!! God Bless you and whoever else this gift blesses!!

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Not too exciting to receive it especially if you have to spend extra money!

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't think I'd be too happy. It's not really a gift if it's making YOU spend money you didn't budget/plan to spend. And I probably would not go. Hubby and I do not spend that kind of money on a hotel.

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

I have to admit this would bother me if I got it. It would be one thing is you were planning a trip and they were paying for a part of it but it's another to just go and decide to get you a part of a vacation you were not planning on taking and expect you to be happy that you now have to pay for the rest of the vacation to somewhere you had not planned on going to.
I'm not sure what I would do with it. Will the place refund you the money so you can spend it on something more desired for your family?
If the place will not refund I am not sure how to tell the person that it is not a gift that your family can use.
Unless it was somewhere I had been wanting to go to for some time and it helped make it more affordable I don't know that I would use it and would try to get a refund somehow.

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