I Am Out of Ideas, Help

My son went for almost a year without pooping in the potty. He would go hide and then waddle out almost in tears. He could not poop sitting down. He finally started standing at the toilet and he would poop. I have no idea how he did it without making a mess, but it was the funniest thing to see. He is now 9 and can do it sitting down. My daughter wouldn't go so we put cheerios in the potty and told her she needed to count how many she could hit. I put pull ups where she could reach them and let her put one on if she felt she needed to. If she went in the toilet she got a sticker, if she went in a pullup she lost a sticker. When she got to a certain amount of stickers, she got a treat. It's a long process, but just be patient and be consistent. Don't ever get angry if she goes in her pants. It will just prolong the process.

Well, I don't have any advice for you, but I can tell you that you're not alone. My son will be 4 in June and he won't poop on the potty either. He's only been peeing on the potty for a few weeks now, but he adamantly refuses to poop. He says he's scared. So, i wish I could help... but you're not alone!

Amy,
I had a LOT of reinforcement help w/this from the daycare provider as well as the staff at the Early Intervention program my daughter was in. The first person I discussed this problem w/was the pediatrician. Not only is he a medical professional (who's hands I put my children's health in) but he is also a parent... of 5. So, I had gotten a lot of encouragement from him. I would say that if its bothering you that bad, and considering the health problems associated w/a child holding his/her bowel movements, speaking w/the pediatrician's office is the place to start. You stated that your daughter goes to school - I am assuming this is preschool. If so, then discuss this w/the staff and even the on-site nurse. They should be able to help w/the positive reinforcement to help get your daughter to 1) stop holding her bowel movements, and 2) use the potty/toilet when she needs to.

hi Amy,
right now i'm starting the potty training process. my 2yr. old and i take his poopy diaper and dump the poop in the potty, now everytime he poops he runs to the potty to dump it out and waves "bye poop!" he thinks it's great. my oldest son however had issues with encopresis due to holding it because he was too busy to go. what really worked was a schedule he had to sit for a minimum of 6 minutes(we set a timer) 3 times a day. if she's embarassed to go at school like my son was a good schedule would be in the a.m. after breakfast, in the afternoon right after school, and in the evening after dinner(we incorporated it with getting ready for bed). this will take a while, but with consistancy and patience it does work. try to notice what times she usually has a bm and then you can start to eliminate the other bathroom times. also offer a book to read or handheld game to pass the time. another thing we did was when my son had an accident he participated in the clean up process, right down to helping me with the laundry! maybe doing this along with a chart may give you some results!

Amy, I swear I was just there yesterday. Ok, maybe a couple months ago. Same age, same story. "I'm not big enough yet". My son would hold it for sooo long and even be dancing around saying "owie, owie, owie". I even tried stupid tricks like making the toilet talk to him and imagining what shape the poopie would be (stop laughing). I can't offer a solution but I can say hang in there because it is very common and she will come around. Be diligent, but encouraging. And NEVER make the potty experience a negative one. One day she'll surprise you, and herself.

Hello..My little girl is 5 years old now. She also was potty trained at about 2 1/2 years old except for pooping. She would hold it and hold it and eventually get constipated and poop a big hard ball in her panties.. It was very frustrating and upsetting to watch her go through the pain...I would just keep telling her the longer she held it in the more it would hurt coming out..The Dr. put her on a stool softener which did help. When I thought she might have to go I would just set her on the potty and read books to her...and after a few months she started to get more comfortable being on the potty. I just think it feels wierd to them to sit on the potty and poop since they have done it in there pants for so long..Also ...as you probably already know (: all kids do things when they are ready...she will do it eventually...hang in there..

How about rewarding her with candy when she goes. My five year old had appendicitis when he was three with some intestinal removal so if he gets backed up it’s not a good thing, due to the scare tissue. He knows when he poops he gets his choice of candy . . . something small every time he goes. It has worked really well. Some times he goes a few times a day just to get the candy, but I know the extra sugar is well worth it . . . I'll take hipper over drug induced in the hospital having surgery again, you know.

Good luck.

Hi Amy,
they say when they are good and ready they will go in the toilet. my son did the same thing when he was 3 he got the peeing in the toilet just fine and was right on track but he would always poop in his pants and be sorry but one day he was in the bathroom ( we were at my then boyfriends parents house having dinner) and he came running out with his pants down and said " i went poo poo in the potty. i was so proud of him but at the same time embarrassed. he is now 11 yrs old but have you asked her if she is scared of something? and if you are all out of ideas maybe you can contact your pediatrician. they are usually preety good at tackling that subject. i work in pediatrics so that is a acommon questions from parents. well good luck. hope some of this helped.

HI Amy, I'm sorry I don't have any ideas, but I wouldn't be overly concerned. My daughter was actually the same way. The reason why she didn't like to go poop in the toilet was the sound it made when it went into the toilet scared her. It took me a long time to get her to realize that nothing was going to happen. Maybe its just the sound or sometimes (I don't mean to be graphic) but when the water make the sound afterwards could scare her. Just ask your daughter if any of these things bother her and just let her now that it is normal. My daughter is now 9, but it was a long journey with that experience. I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.

Hi Amy,
Do you have a little seat for the tiolet that snaps on to fit her size? This helped my sons. They were afraid of "falling in". Another thing that helped my boys was using fruit snacks as an instant reward the stickers didn't work for us either. It took too long for them to get what they wanted.

i wish i could help ya i know how you feel my son just truned 6 and stoll pooing in his pants dont know how to get him to stop i think its good your trying to keep her trying my doctor keep telling me that it the child will or want to do so just keep encueging ( sorry my speeling is bad )postive feed back towards her she might soon go

Poor little kid, my girlfriend is going through the same thing. Do you have a toilet potty seat with a character/s that your daughter likes? Just an idea. Probably do. Have you talked to the Doc, my girlfriends daughter is given med. to "make" her poop. You'd just have to keep track of when she poops. Good luck, Hon. I feel for you.

Maybe she is afraid to go to the toliet to poop. I know that my daugther was like that. She told me that it hurt to go. So maybe that is your daugthers problem. Maybe if you could find her a stool softener and then give her some books to read in the bathroom, oh and some of the special toddler wipes maybe that will help. That is what i did and my daughter finally started to poop on the potty.

Amy,

AGH! Have SO been there, and all too recently!!I had the same exact situation with my son, who turned 5 in October. It was the same exact situation. You just have to be patient and encourage. Believe me, I know how frustrating it is, and you feel like it will never come. But, it does! It is a really scary thing for them to relinquish THAT aspect of potty training. Treats & special rewards didn't help in my case either. You can try to get her to sit down on the potty, if you find there's a time of day she typically has an accident. It wasn't that successful initally, but I like to think that he got the hang of it from doing so. Not to frighten you, but it really took another year before he was ready to do it- so I've seen my share of dirty underwear!Remember, every child is different! It really is a developement issue. She'll definitely get it! Just give her time! Encourage! Try not to become angry. Got to a point where I had to tell my husband that I would handle it, and to leave him alone. (Husband was very negative).And this too shall pass!

Good luck!

i'm having a similar issue with my soon to be 3 year old.....i thought she was going to be potty trained before her older brother but all of a sudden she stopped. She will stand there and tell you that she is peeing and no ammount of pleading or bribing has worked on her. I'm just trying to make a big deal out of her turning 3 in a few days and that makes her a big girl etc....dont know if it will work but i always have hope. My son right around 3 would not poop in the toilet either. We tried everything from just ignoring it, to giving him little treats when he went. We finally stumbled across something he loved more than anything....his wooden trian set...so we gave him a new piece to his train set every time he pooped in the potty and within two weeks he was in his underwear with no accidents since. good luck!

My daughter is going through the EXACT same thing. She's 3, had been peeing in the potty for a while now with no accidents, but she WILL NOT poop in the potty. She did do it a couple of times, but just yesterday she had an enormous fit about it, saying she didn't want to be a big girl, she was scared, etc. My thoughts? This is normal, I've heard of it happening to lots of people, and the less attention you give to it the better. Forcing the issue will make her more scared or contrary (at least in my case). I know it's frustrating, but giving it little attention is a safe bet. You could keep the star chart, though - that seemed to work for me to get my daughter to pee.