I Can't Decide If I Want to Send My Almost (March 19Th) 4 Yr. Old to Preschool

Hi D.,

It look like you got a lot of responses both for and against sending him to preschool. I just have one thing to add:

What does he want to do? My daughter will be 4 in April and I know that at that age they are old enough to understand a lot. Sit down with him and talk to him. Ask him what he wants to do. If he sounds excited about going to preschool than let him. If he would rather spend that time home with you or stay at daycare then let him. - Let him be a part of the decision.

Hope that helps.
M. N.

It depends... 4 years old is an okay time to send some children to preschool, but not others. If he is socially ready you should, that is: If he isn't terribly bashful or agressive and seems to get along well with other's, go for it. If not, you may need to work on him a while by introducing him to new people more regularly. Help him learn to interact with others and then send him to preschool.

More than one year of preschool can be a great thing for children too as it prepares them more gently for the school scenario and helps them developmentally to be at "the tope of their class". This is also true for determining whether or not to send him to kindergarten at 5, 6, or 7. Determine whether or not he will be the youngest in his class. If so, it may be wise to wait to start grade school when he'll be among the older kids in the class.

It sounds like you are already doing all the things that people look for in a preschool. If I were you I wouldn't send him. When I had a daycare in my home, one Mom pulled her daughter out at age three to go to a preschool instead. At the end of the first year she told me her daughter had learned nothing she hadn't already known. You're already doing a great job at home and with MOPS and playdates. Keep it up!

Being a teacher, I can tell you that one of the benefits of preschool is that kids start to learn some of the "culture" of kindergarten--how to stand in line, how to sit in a circle, how to raise their hands, etc. That will help with the transition into kindergarten.

Sometimes in our productivity-oriented world, pre-school can seem mandatory. My kids didn't go to full day pre-school either, but my little one went two mornings a week, which was enough and she loved it.

Not going to pre-school won't force him to be behind academically either - this is a huge myth based on disadvantaged communities with children who spend their toddler years sitting in front of the television. This is not your reality I'm guessing. Kids raised at home with books, activities and friends do best in school in general.

School can feel like an imposition on a beautiful happy home-based life. Honor your feelings and keep him home. Soon enough you will be spending your life in the car driving him and everyone else from activity to activity. Prolong your bliss as long as you can!

If you're keeping your child in day care and you like what they teach them in day care, then I wouldn't add preschool. If the day care is just a babysitter who doesn't teach your child things, then I'd do preschool. I'm a SAHM mom who is very involved in MOMS Club so my little guy gets tons of socialization. I teach him stuff at home too, but it's amazing what he learns at preschool. He actually came home writing his name one day...he would never do it for me when I was teaching him! He also came home and told me that diamond is really called a rhombus! Rhombus...I don't even think I learned that term until high school! He just turned 4 and goes 2 days/week. Next year, before Kindergarten, I'm sending him 3 days/week (2.5 hrs/day). I love what he's learning in preschool...he has fun...loves his teacher...and loves doing the "chores" they assign. I'm so glad I sent him..but if he's getting all the same stuff at day care, I don't know why you'd waste $$$ at preschool. 3 days/week is plenty!

It sounds like you have him involved in several groups already where he has an opportunity to play with other kids and take direction from an authority figure other than yourself. I struggled with putting my daughter in preschool too - she is 4 - but I stay at home with her and her sister every day. I was worried she wasn't getting enough time away from me and being around other kids. She does love it though and looks forward to the two days a week she gets to go to school (2.5 hours each day). She is learning many things I never thought of to teach her at home and she gets to go on field trips, etc. Plus I get a couple hours of alone time with my 2 year old. I think it depends on how well you think the daycare is doing or if you think a preschool would be more challenging. I know my daughter loves to be challenged.
Good luck!

Hi D.,

I would send him. There is just soemthing different about 'going to school'.
I really really debated with my first son. It was the same thing, we read all day long, he had lots of playgroups, and such. But there really was that extra something he got out of pre-school. For one he was so excited to be a big boy and to get to go to SCHOOL. HAving the daily routine, and getting use to dealing with others in a school setting, not a home setting. My guys have absolutly loves going to pre-school, it is their favorite time of the day. As hard as it is to say, From the moment of their birth we are teaching them to grow up and walk away from us and be independent. I HATE it, I want my boys to be with me always, but that cannot be.

Best of luck to you!!

Angela

If he wasn't in daycare I would say send him, but if he is getting some preschool type of experience at his daycare then I would not send him. Instead enjoy the time you have left with him before he is in school full time. Is it a home daycare or a larger daycare. Next year, will they treat part of the day like it is preschool or is it only free play?

My son has gained a lot of social skills from being in a preschool setting that he wasn't getting just from play groups. I don't think he has gained anything academic from preschool because we already read to him a ton, do art projects and play with math/number concepts when he is home with me. But the social skills and skills for how to function in an organized group have been good for him.

Ultimately the decision has to come from your knowledge of your son and what will best meet his needs.

Wow, you've gotten lots of great responses already. I just wanted to add something...if you are not sure yet whether you want to send your child to preschool or not you can still sign him up. That way you don't have to make your final decision right now. Sometimes kids change alot in the summer and it is easier to make the decision in the fall. If your preschool doesn't charge you a registration fee or if the fee is small you may want to consider this option. I used to work in preschool and we used to always suggest this option to parents who weren't sure if they should send their child to Kindergarten or wait a year. It's much easier to sign your child up and then cancel than it is to try and get them in after the deadline. Don't be worried about offending the teacher or anyone...we know you're just trying to do what's best for your child. :) If you decide against going though please be sure and let the teacher know as there are usually waiting lists.

I'd also recommend visiting the preschool you are thinking about attending. Most preschools will let you come and observe and some will allow you to bring your child as well. That way you can see him in the setting and get a better feel for how comfortable you both would be there.

Good luck on your decision. I agree with the others who said there isn't a wrong one. You're child will be fine whether he attends preschool or not. :)

My son will be 5 on March 14th, so my situation (last year) is the same as yours is this year. I didn't hesitate when it came to sending him to preschool. I am also a stay at home mom. In our district, preschool is used as a way to introduce the children to the school, they have a full day of school 2 days a week one semester and 3 days a week the next. My son learns about being in a large setting with children his own age, unlike day care which will generally have children of various ages. He learns how to raise his hand, go through the lunch line, go to the library, and the other teachers in the school.
He enjoys interacting with the other students the most. They work on both capital and small letters, the sounds letters make, rhyming words, counting to 100, writing their names, and they are invited to all school assemblies and outside functions.
I feel our preschool (which is actually called pre-kindergarten here) is a wonderful program that has seen a steady increase during it's 14 year history. It's not just for parents who need to use it so they can work, but for stay at home parents who want their children to experience friends, teachers, everything school has to offer at a slower pace before they begin all day kindergarten the following year. That is a huge transition for children. They go from home/day care, with less rules than a school has, to a full day of rules, raising your hands, snacks only at snack time, etc.
Overall, the decision is yours. Preschool in the school cannot hurt your child. If he enjoys being challenged, and meeting other children his own age then school would be a perfect place for him.

I would agree with Erica. Learning the rules of kindergarten are one of the biggest benefits if he has all the other interactions covered. They learn to take turns, listen to directions, stand in line and many others. They will learn it in kindergarten, but if they already know those skills it's always a good thing.

I guess the main thing I can see as an advantage (only if you think he needs the skills) is adapting to more of a set structure. Obviously he is being socialized already and you can teach him the reading skills etc. It depends on how much structure and routine you think he is already getting from daycare and at home. Otherwise, personally I think it is not necessary if you don't feel stongly that he would benefit from it. Good luck!

You've received a lot of responses already but I thought I'd give you the other side of the coin. My daughter will be four years old next month. My husband and I both work full time and the 4K at her school is only 1/2 day and does not have transport to daycare. We do not have a choice - we cannot enroll her until she goes to 5K (all day). I was/am afraid that she will miss out on something by not being there but her current daycare is already pretty structured and they offer a preschool program that they kids can attend for part of their day. We will let her do that, plus she already has a computer class there twice a month.

I was comforted by many of the responses that you received because it certainly seems that many Mother's just say -- go with your gut. It's good to know that most people don't feel that there is a tremendous advantage to it either, unless the kids are not already in a structured environment. If you don't feel it's right for you or your child then you shouldn't do it.

Hi D.,

It sounds like his social and educational needs are being met, so there may be no need to send him to preschool. However, I understand why you would want to make an informed decision, taking into consideration BOTH sides of the argument. I hope this helps.

I would compare the curriculum and structure of his current daycare to what he would get in the preschool setting. This may help to determine what advantages (if any) there would be to starting preschool. Students may have an easier time adjusting to the structure of kindergarten if their preschool sets the stage...so to speak. With education and testing the way they are (regardless of how we feel about these issues) our children are expected to learn...and master...skills at an earlier age. These expectations are reflected not only in the elementary curriculum, but in kindergarten as well.

I would also take his date of birth into consideration. It may not sound important, but developmentally speaking, even 6 months can make a difference. Since his birthday falls toward the end of the school year, he may struggle more with concepts that his older classmates find easy (such struggles could follow him through the earlier years of elementary school). Anyway, a more structured academic setting might better prepare him for what lies ahead. Again, these are all just things to consider.

This is, of course, just one side of the coin. I could give you my thoughts on the "flip side", or tell you what I would do, but it sounds like you have enough to think about. As you already know, each child is different and in the end...not much beats a mother's intuition. Good Luck!

It is totally a personal choice, but having studied in the early childhood field I can't help but think there is an advantage to sending a child to a preschool program. It sounds like you have him pretty exposed to group settings, as in daycare and play dates. I might suggest that you could look into like a school readiness program for him through ECFE, one that is just so many hours a week and part of the day. I know that daycare tries to set up their preschool class like a preschool setting, but having something that is just school I think there is a difference. In a preschool that is not combined as a daycare, there is more emphasis on school type schedule and work. I am going through a similar thing with my son who just turned three. I am keeping him home next year, but I am going to try to get him into a 4 yr old program or a school readiness program. I don't at all feel like academically/developementally he is behind, he is doing really great because I work with him and he attends ECFE with his father once a week. I just think for the social setting and the school like setting/schedule it would be very beneficial for him and then I know that he will be able to make an easy transition into kindergarten. It takes the guess work out of it and having worked in a preschool setting, I have seen the difference from daycare and how beneficial it is for the kids.
But, if you feel like that doesn't still give you a clear cut answer, do what you think is best for your child. You do know best after all!
J.

I am really surprised to read people saying to send him to preschool. It sounds like he is active enough and is getting all the benefits from those activities that he would get at preschool. If he is in daycare 3 days a week, why would you need to put him in preschool? He has playdates and other get togethers and activities, so he will be fine. No one HAS to go to preschool, although our current culture makes parents feel their child will not succeed in kindergarten if they don't go. This will be his last year home with you before he starts his school career, why not spend as much time with him as you can? Kids do great even with out preschool. You sound like a very caring, loving concerned mom, so you will do what is right for him, not what other people feel you should do.
S., mom of 3 and licensed family child care provider

Well, i have never heard of a parent complaining about starting there child later, but i have heard complaining (wishing they never had) about starting their child earliy.

D.,

Keep him with you. They grow up so fast. If there is no reason to send him then don't. Make sure you work with him on his ABCs and numbers so he is mentally ready. He will be fine for another year.

L. ;)

I did not send my son to anykind of preschool just straight to kindergarten, He had alot of trouble adjusting to the envrionment, I would say if you don't have any physical reason for not sending him, put him in let him get used to the idea of school he will get used to teh structure of school and not have as much of an adjustment when he gets to kindergarten

One the largest goals for most preschools is socialization. Another is to learn the rules and acceptable behavior of "school." And in 4 year old classes most preschools do focus on some academics to prepare them for kindergarten. Expectations for kindergarten are so different than in our day! I've never heard anyone regret sending their child to preschool...but I have heard people say they wished they had. But that being said, I think a child raised in a good household and who does get socialization, is probably going to be prepared for Kindergarten without having to go to preschool. So, you've got a decision to be made, and either way I think it'll be right.

IT sounds like you dont want to send him so don't give it to per pressure. I did send my daughter to PS at age 4 but she was getting bored at day care. It sounds like your kids get the one on one time and the social interaction already -- that is what preschool is mainly. and teaching a routine.
I do work for a Head Start program and some research shows that kids who attended headstart do better off down the road in school. Could you send him just one or two days a week if you want to try something different maybe?

I feel you are doing the right thing. You have to do what is right for your family, and what is good for your 4 year old! You should however just ask your son and see if that is something that he would like to do...4 years old are so smart and they now what they want... :-) I have a 4 year old girl that will be going to preschool this fall and preschool registration will be on the 27th of mar. I'm so looking forward to it....and it is only for half days mon - thurs. She already has her backpack and plays here and there and says I'm off to school...Preschool is scary in ways because it is that sign that they are growing up! Take care and you will make the right decision that will work for you!

I want to send my 2 yr old to preschool (1/2 day) as soon as possible because I need the break!

But it sounds like you don't feel that way, so my thought on your situation is this: your son obviously is not being deprived socially, and that is most of what preschool is in my opinion. As long as he gets enough "direction" from his other social activities, I would say skip preschool if that is what you are leaning toward.

By "direction", I mean learning things like how to use his indoor voice, sitting quietly in a circle for story time, learning to follow directions etc. From my understanding preschool is a sort of practicing time to get ready for Kindergarten where some "school-type" learning starts to take place. Now, I'm not a preschool teacher or anything, so I'd listen to whatever any preschool teachers have to say over what I've just said!

From the tone of your post, I'm feeling like you don't really want to send him. If it's not mandatory and you don't want to, then don't!

I would recommend that you investigate a Montessori preschool. My older son went to a daycare that was also a traditional preschool. If your son is in a good daycare, he should be getting all the same things learned in a traditional preschool.

Yet, my sister-in-law introduced me to the Heartland Montessori School in River Falls where I enrolled my younger son. The Montessori school focuses on the whole child providing the tools for learning independently. The emphasis is on respect, not learning how to sit in a circle, raise your hand, and stand in line. During the course of the day, the child may sit in a circle to listen to the teacher and line up to get ready to go out on the playground. Yet, it is taught through a basis of respect for not only the teacher but for everyone in the classroom. Each child is empowered to make choices about what he/she will do that day. The child has the opportunity to excell in the areas that most interest him/her. In the third year of Children's House (or preschool/kindergarten), my nephew's favorite activity was long division. I'm not saying every Kindergartner should be learning long division. My nephew was able to take a subject that he enjoyed greatly and take his knowledge beyond all expectations because the tools were available for him.

It is not enough to just pour knowledge into our children's heads. Our goal should be to inspire the child to want to learn and truly enjoy the process. The Montessori method of using independent discovery with concrete self-correcting materials does inspire. I hope you will check it out.

I guess I would think it would depend on how structured your daycare is. Does your daycare do circle time, work on alphabet/number skills, craft time, worksheets, etc? During these times the kids learn how to sit and be attentive and follow rules. If the kids just have freeplay with some reading, I would say preschool would be very beneficial. They learn how to take turns, how to speak in front of a group, They also learn to take direction from multiple people. I think it was great for my girls as far as gaining confidence and independence. They both attended for two years before entering Kindergarten. With the rigid expectations in Kindergarten it is almost a necessity or children can start out behind and may not catch up by years end. Good luck with your decision,
J.

Start him in pre school. See how he responds. If not good stop it. I was 4 when I was sent to kindergarten. Wish like heck Mom and Dad had waited another year. The rest of the kids in my class made me feel dumb.

I work for a head start program. I would suggest sending him to preschool. Even though he's already in daycare, preschool is generally more structured and they work specifically on things that children going into kindergarten would need to know or be familiar with. My son isn't going to be 4 until after September 1, so he'll be going to preschool for two years because of his birthday cutoff. I initially wasn't going to enroll him this fall but I've changed my mind. He's going through some testing phases lately and I think the rules and structure of the preschool will be good for him. He's also very much a mama's boy, and getting on a bus straight from his daycare and going to a class of other children his age will be a great confidence booster.
I've seen the difference a preschool program has made for kids and I think it really gives them the self-esteem and skills to enter kindergarten with a positive and confident attitude.
Good luck, whatever you decide! :)

Pre-school is all about getting ready for Kindergarten. The important things that kids learn in pre school are:
-how to act in a class room
-how to get along with others, take turns, follow classroom rules, etc.
-socialization in general

If your child is in a daycare facility that runs some sort of pre-school "curriculum" 3 days a week, he is getting all the experience he needs. (in my opinion) If he goes to an in-home daycare provider, I think he should go to preschool next fall.

My 3 year old loves preschool. I tmakes her feel like such a big girl. I am a sahm with her and her younger bro, and another one on the way and she actually gets mad when she can't go. She has learned so much over this past year she has been there. Besides socialization (which it doesn't seem that your boy needs) she has learned numbers, letters, colors, shapes, and every week they have a new subject that they concentrate on. Last week was dinasours....she comes home with so much new knoweledge every day it amazes me!! I think the most important thing about preschool is that it prepares the children for school. School is a different setting for children than daycare or home, they are required to sit in a specific place at certain times, actually stay there, do as their teachers instruct, work in groups, work alone with instruction, and follow a set schedule every day. I have seen so many improvements in my daughter since she started preschool last September, and I thought she was a good, well adjusted girl to begin with!! I can understnad not wanting to send your son two years, many parents feel the same way, but after I've seen how much my daugher loves going to school it's something I have never regreted. As for reasons why not to send a child to school of any kind (unless you plan on home schooling) I'm not sure how there could be a good one? If you think about it, how can sending your child to school to learn be bad for them? As long as you have researched the school and feel comfortable with it, I say go for it. If it makes you more comfortable, I would suggest a church based preschool or a private preschool. Many times they are more concerned with academics than socialization. Hope this helps.

If he is in a daycare that is also a certified preschool there would be no need. If he is in an in home daycare, preschool might benefit him. I send my 4 year old to preschool three mornings a week (Also was a premie) and he can count to 100, knows many words in Spanish, is beginning to read and can write all his letters. When we visited Kindergarden a few weeks ago the teacher said writing letters, phonics and begining to read are all things Kindergardners should be able to do. Plus the structure is good for making the transition to Kindergarden easier. I live in Iowa and there is statewide funding of preschools so that all children may have the opportunity to go. Our lawmakers and child advocates obviously see there are benifits to preschool and disadvantages of not sending them.

I agree with Bonnie L. Your child is getting plenty of structured socialization with his present activities.

My niece has triplets. She didn't send them to pre-school. When she sent them to kindergarten, the school treated her like she'd done something wrong. The teacher criticized her kids all year - probably because she wasn't experienced with teaching triplets.

From what we discussed, I gathered that schools want children who are able to stay in their seats when they are supposed to and speak at appropriate times. Because triplets are already a 'group', they see the dynamics a little differently.

You can teach your children the sitting, taking turns, and speaking dynamics without the extra expense of a pre-school. And your son is already getting some of that with the activities you have him in anyway. You can also buy some of the educational toys and work with your child. It's actually a lot of fun to watch your own child learn right there in front of you. I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything.

My youngest son was 7 weeks premature and was already reading and doing simple math at age 5 (I home schooled my sons until my divorce). His birthday fell after the cut-off, but he was so far ahead of the pre-Ks, the school I put him in kept him in kindergarten. Academically, that was the right thing to do, but, again, his age came into play later because he was always 1-2 years behind his grade peers. (Some parents hold their kids out of school an extra year to give their child an edge later - it's called 'red shirting'. Don't ask me where the term came from.) He already knew about the sitting and taking turns because of the home school setting.

You know your child best. Whatever you decide, it would be a good idea to make sure he's in with kids his own age.

My son turned 4 in January and he goes now 1 day a week and will go next year 3 days a week. My mom watches my boys so we have always done ECFE classes and this was the natural progression. We have loved the experience though. He has grown so much in this 1 year. I see it in how he interacts with us and his brother. They do a lot of things at school that we don't do at home on a regular basis. The preschool setting is so much different than day care or even ECFE classes. I look at it as a way to help him adjust to kindergarten when the time comes.

My son goes to preschool 3 afternoons a week. I have been amazed at his growth and maturity since starting. I feel like I was able to offer him a lot at home, and we had plenty of activities and outings and time for play and time for creativity and reading, but what I didn't have at home was a team of four very experienced teachers to help me out. They have been so good in shaping his behavior, reinforcing the things I want him to work on, and pointing out things that I might not have noticed myself (positive and negative). It's also given him a place that he can feel like is his own, and he's gained a tremendous amount of confidence that I know will help him in kindergarten.

Our pre-school is a loving, kid-friendly place where the students learn to make friends and make choices. It really seems like the happiest place on earth. I too struggled with sending him, but now I can't imagine it otherwise and can't wait for my daughter to have her chance to go.

The main reasons for pre-school are socialization and learning to respond to an adult that isn't a parent. In my case I sent my son so that I could have some one on one time with my younger daughter (only 3 days a week for 3 hours)and so that I could try out the private school with minimal commitment before making the choice to enroll him there or in public school.
As your kids are in daycare, the socialization and responding to other adults is not an issue. Then it becomes an issue of putting them in the school to see if they can meet more friends. As long as you're working on all the basics before kindergarten, pre-school is another social thing. There are several pre-schools for the arts that encourage and include swimming and gymnastics.
Good luck in your decision, there is no bad one.

Do it. You'll both love it.
Plus, sending a child to Kindergarten that has never been in preschool part time is REALLY hard. They go from being home full time to being in K everyday and it is really h*** o* them.
If you have a good, reputable preschool in mind, it will be fantastic for all.

If he was not in daycare or another program where he is with other kids and away from mom and dad at all, I would ask if Kindergarten (at the school you will send him when he is 5) is full day and half day. Only because if it were full day, I would say send him to get used to being away from you. But since he is in daycare and used to being away from you, I would say you don't have to send him. We were going to send our dd to preschool (until we found out our school system is starting 4K this fall) since kindergarten here is full days and I did not want to throw her into being in school and away from home all day when she has never been away from me for more than an hour (except when sleeping at my mom's house). I don't see the need unless you are worried that he will not be able to get along with the kids or that he will be behind for kindergarten if you don't send him. And all kids are at different knowledge points when they start school.

I'd send him. I've been told that in todays society, most people send their kids to preschool and because of that, kids that don't attend are more behind in the basics than the kids that do attend. Word phonics, letters, numbers, etc.) My daughter at 4 is learning to read and can sound out most 1 or 2 sylabal words. She can count to about 70 and she can do a few small math calculations, (2+3, etc.) I tend to think she's extrordinary in that level of education, but her teachers tell me that it's normal. If your son can't do some of this, then he will be behind in kindergarden and will struggle until he catches up with the rest of his class. Why NOT send him...It can only benefit him.

2 years of Preschool did absolutely nothing my duaghter academically. It did help her socially and with being used to a classroom setting because she's an only child I felt it was important.

If your son is getting a good mix of environments with daycare, and your mom clubs/groups he may not need the preschool.

Can you continue to read to him, teach him his colors,numbers,letter sounds, write his name, and take himself independantly to bathroom? If you can do all of that you'd be just fine not sending him to preschool.

D.,
I understand how you feel, but what I have found with my 3 boys, last one was 10 weeks premature, was I didn't send them to preschool and they were behind. My youngest, 10 week premature, was way behind and had to take pre-Kindergarten because he was a little slower since premies lag behind to start with. If I had to do it over again, I would send them all in a heart beat just so they have the basics of knowing some of the children that they will be going to school with, make sure they are on the same learning field as the others, which mine were not, even though I had them in daycare as I was going to school and we would work with them at home on reading and such. It seemed the other children that went to preschool before kindergarten were more advanced and friendly with each other and my sons were kind of left out at first. I just would strongly recommend it. Good luck.

My son is 5 1/2yrs and is in Kindergarden this year. His birthday is the end of Aug. Yes he is one of the youngest in his class but I did send him to 3yr old preschool as well as 4yr old preschool. I am so happy that I did, even if he was not one of the youngest!! Kindergarden today, is so much different then it was 10, 15 years ago!! He is already learning to tell time, sight words, counting to 100, money, lots of things that I remember being in 1st, 2nd, 3rd grade before they started teaching my class. I encourage every parent to put there son/daughter in preschool at least one year before they start kindergarden just because they need to know alot more just to get into kindergarden!!! My son goes to a public school, and we live in a very small town so there is only 12 kids in his class that helps as well, there is more one on one with the teacher. If your child goes to a public school, and you live in a bigger town, there are usually between 20 and 30 in a class, and there is not so much one on one, and it is easy for a child to fall behind when there is that many kids in a class. Please, send your child to preschool !!!!!

D.,

I always say I have two sets of kids. Different marriages equals a 12 year spread from group 1 to group 2. Group 1 (in their 20's now) rarely had preschool experience before kindergarten. Group 2, both of my kids (early teens now) went to preschool. I was totally shocked at what they expect a 5 year old to know the day they first walk into kindergarten.

Preschool is not just for socializing. They begin writing--not just their name. They begin problem solving.

But...The option you could look at is: 1)a preschool with fewer days per week, 2)a trial preschool--if he enjoys it, continue it, 3)a preschool with plenty of openings--if he goes in September and isn't happy, could you withdraw and try again in January.

Some parents call the child's daycare their "school." But if you make it sound as preschool being a place for "big kids," he might show real pride in his paper work or art projects he completes at "school."

Don't make a yes or no desision. Find a preschool that will work with you and your child.

Good Luck,

S.

He will be fine either way if you nurture him at home as you do. That said

I LOVE PRESCHOOL! I can't wait until my son is ready to go. I have been to three different preschool regularly as a therapist with autistic children attending and I just LOVE IT! The kids definitally learn there and they all and I mean ALL love it! I've never seen a child cry when dropped off or even be sad or upset about anything during preschool. And its fun! Even I think its fun :)

I also think its a nice in-between stage between home/daycare atmosphere and school.

Anyhow. Happy decision making :)

He gets the social interaction he needs at daycare and that helps a ton but I know with one of our our preschool programs it is in the elementary school and that helps them get used to the school and walking quietly in the halls, they us the bathrooms that they will use in kindergarten, getting used to seeing some of the faces that they will see in school and the "big kids" along with your typical preschool stuff. I would definantly send him but I think the year before he enters kindergarten is plenty. Daycare is "safe" to him and this will give him a new experience.

If your child is already busy with all those other experiences, I don't see a real "need" for you to spend the money to send him to preschool. Many preschools don't offer alot more than a good daycare does, and through MOPS, etc, he is getting opportunities to be with other kids and interacting with other adults, which should be enough. What are the reasons to send him to preschool?? Is it because that is what others think you should do, because it is what
"everyone" does?

My situation sounds very similar and my husband and I have decided to forgo preschool. It's difficult when everyone is constantly asking where our son goes to preschool, but I just say we do a lot at home and with friends. Besides, we're thinking of homeschooling our children until 2nd grade or so, so it doesn't make much sense to throw him in school just to take him out.

Do what feels right to you...and it sounds like you're doing a great job!!!

I sent my son this past fall (turned 4 the beginning of Sept.) to Mayflower Preschool and I'm really glad I did. As a part-time teacher, I'm home with him in the summer and in the afternoons. Until he turned 4, my son was in a home daycare and was with all girls.

He absolutely LOVES preschool and can't wait to go. He has grown so much in ways that I know he wouldn't have in the home daycare or at home with me.

It's 3 days a week, 3 hours each day. It gives me time to spend with my daughter (21 months) and gives him some time to do something special and different than his younger sister.

He will attend a "high five" type program next year and will be one of the oldest in his kindergarten class the following year. I highly recommend preschool both as a mother and a teacher.

However, if the daycare he attends is a center and has preschool-type curriculum, he probably is getting the same stuff as he would in a preschool. Good luck with your decision!

Hi D.,

This is a decision every family needs to make based on what they feel is best for their family and child not on what anyone else has to say but i will give you my 2 cents based on my experience.

First,I need to let you know that I am a preschool teacher of four year olds and I lOVE it! I want to share with you the reasons that I feel it is so important that children have exposure to preschool.

All children develop in the same order but at different speeds and boys tend to develop at a slower pace than girls. A growing number of children are being enrolled in preschool and are being exposed to learning situations at a younger age. The purpose of preschool is to give children the building blocks for learning in the future. Can your child sit for 5-10 minutes and listen with out interuppting, can he follow a sequnce (3 or more)of instructions and does he have confidence in a group to answer questions or to be engaged by a teacher. Can he listen to and be repectful of a person of authority, his teacher. I believe these things are what we are trying to teach. The ABC's and numbers will come along with the social building blocks but MOST important are the social skills that children learn in school. If your child is getting this type of learning experience at his day care then he is being exposed to what he will need to learn to enjoy kndegarten. As a teacher I see the difference when children have not had this exposure, it is not only difficult on the teacher it is also difficult for the child and the rest of the class. The most important factor is your child and what you truely believe he will need to be successful during his school years. I would suggest that you go and sit in on a preschool class to see if you think that it is a situation that will benefit him. I really believe that there is not a right or wrong answer to this question you simply need to feel that you are making the best decision for your child. Happy early B'day to your son!

I looks like you don't need preschool, you have all the stimulus he needs already. Good job.

If you feel he'll be ready for Kindergarten without goign to preschool, then don't send him. But I think he should go to preschool (school readiness through ECFE) this year and then start Kindergarten the next when he's 5. He'll be plenty ready.

D.-
If you are still confused about preschool and the reasons to send him think of it on the flip side--what is the disadvantage of sending him? I believe in preschool for a 4yr. old for all the previous reasons stated and if you can't decide I would error on the side of going because there is more to be gained than lost. Best of luck.

D., i am a mom of 3 boys, neither of them went to pre school, i enjoyed teaching my kids and preparing them for school myself, sounds like you got a good hold on teaching them and rearing them, nothing says they have to go to preschool , its just there in case you need to work, and do other things, which now a days most moms do need to work, so its nice to be able to have them watched and learning , but if you are capable, and ready and willling then why push the kid, its up to you, have fun and enjoy them while you can, if they need it, send them, if they dont, dont, if they are socialized and can leave you while in kidengarten, that is fine too, hope all goes well, sounds like you are doing a great job, D. s

I am stay at home and I have a 4 yr old who goes to head start and preschool I beleive NO CHILD left behind. If u have the chance send him there are soo many kids who dont get the chance and are worse off.They learn alot. I know some people say its just like day care well where my daughter goes its NOT its just like school and she has blossomed soo much getting to play with other kids and leaning alot. She knows how to spell her name knows where she lives can spell Dora, Diva (our dog) cat,yes,no,mom,dad yes some was taught right here at home but she has learned a lot at school too. He would benifit from it gratly I think. but ur choice. U could always try it and see what u think u can always pull them out. But he would be ready when he gets to K and if he dont go he might be a lil behind some kids that went.

Good Morning D.. I understand your dilemma about deciding whether or not to send your son or not....I am a teacher and I also sit on our Early Childhood Education Board. Our program really strives to get the children in our area into a preschool program. It has been found that children who do attend preschool are so much more ready for kindergarten and do better. Not just academically, but socially as well.

I am also on the parent side as 2 of my kids have been through preschool and my 3rd is 4 and currently attending. They have ALL loved it!! My 4 year old cannot wait to get up and go to "school" in the morning. You could always try him and if it is not a fit, pull him. Good luck with your decision....it's not easy. :-) S.

I teach preschool-I believe the right preschool for your child is best. We have three day and two day morning programs and the kids get the feel of " going to school" We do many things that will help the child get prepared to go to school. Alot of people think just because he or she is in daycare they will be fine. I have also stayed home with my daughters- they have gone to daycare but they both have been in preschool. THey learn the structure of the classroom. How to play with others, how to listen to instructions. Walking in line-( huge for our three year olds right now) Just simple things like that they can really learn how to do before kindergarten. They are so many wonderful advantages to preschool. You just have to find the right one that fits your child. Good Luck

I had a hard time deciding with my first child also. I don't think I was quite ready to let him go be a big boy. Luckily out here in Rapid City at the YMCA, they have a wonderful preschool that wasn't too expensive, and it included swimming and gymnastics lessons free. The teacher was a saint. I guess it just determines if you find a place you really like, and your son really likes it too. We had the option of taking him out anytime we wanted to if he didn't like it-that made me feel better,and it worked out great. If you find a place that lets you try it out first for a week or so, and if your son likes it, why not? I do think it makes them more prepared for school-my kids never cried when they went to kindergarten-they all looked forward to it...It just makes them a little bit more responsible, and a little bit smarter. For some reason me reading to my kid and stuff was not as exciting as when someone else read to him. He also seemed to really like the atmosphere where he could be with other kids learning things with the teacher. I guess mom is boring. Well good luck.. Hope I helped some. : O )