Ok, so my fiance and I are getting married on May 28th. We really planned to keep it extremely low-key, so as to avoid any expenses associated with an actual wedding. We will be moving into our home at that same time, and we prefer to use any money we have or will get toward our home, rather than a wedding. That said, I would still like to make it special somehow. We have no plans, whatsoever, at this point. We are really just starting to kick around ideas. We have considered having the JP come to the house and having family over, then going away for the night together. But that just seems so completely blah to me. :( Can you give me some ideas for things we can do to make our *wedding day* be a special and memorable day for us without going into much of the expense of a traditional wedding? We are not adverse to spending a little money for this day, we just don't want to make it a big wedding deal.
Thanks for any thoughts or suggestions you can share.
Patty B, I have to tell you that I love your idea. I love to bowl, have bowled on leagues from time to time, as has my dad, so the bowling idea is absolutely precious! Too bad our home bowling alley burned to the ground on Christmas Eve... :( Might still look into this though... Cute idea!
You could hold it at a local park. Reserve a bunch of tables, find a nice spot and have it there. Make it a potluck, with guests bringing favorite dishes. My aunt had a terrific wedding in the backyard of a friend's house. Very casual, barbeque catered afterward. It doesn't have to be fancy to be special.
I highly recommend the book Bridal Bargains by Denise and Alan Fields. It was my crutch when I got married eons ago. It doesn't sound like you want the full on ceremony but this book is guaranteed to help you cut costs on all of those little aspects you keep.
and even etsy weddings have great ideas on making low budget weddings special
http://www.etsy.com/storque/search/title/handmade-weddings/
I loved this one:
http://www.etsy.com/storque/handmade-life/handmade-weddin...
I had an AWESOME wedding for little to nothing. My parents offered us $20,000 toward a house, or wedding, we chose the house, and went with a low key, 80 guests, but very special wedding. Here are some major money saving things we did.
Every apartment/condo/subdivision around has a club house. We paid $25 to rent a clubhouse where my cousin lived. There was a $100 deposit that was returned to us after the party. Most clubhouses have tables and chairs and can easily seat a lot of people even if some are on sofas. The place we were at had a stereo system, and I just put an uncle in charge of the music, just by playing cd's.
My dress was a cream satin gown that I found at Macys! $200.
I ordered napkins, candies with our names and date, favors, veil, and extras all from ebay. I paid less than $100 for tons of things.
We ordered a 2 tier cheesecake for $200, they came and set it up for free.
My parents catered it with food from Olive Garden. Pans of lasagna, bow tie chicken pasta, breadsticks, and salad. All for about $300.
We went to a local winery and purchased 12 bottles of champaign, they even added special labels to each one with our names and date.
My sister took photos of us with an average $300 camera, and we have awesome wedding pictures and an album we made on Shutterfly.com
We contacted a local judge and asked if he could spare an hour for us, and he came for free. He ended up doing 4 weddings that day. ( It was new years eve.)
Our total wedding from the dress to small details was right about $1000. We had as much fun as if we had spent $50,000.
All us girls in our family have done the low cost weddings... :-) And they were all AWESOME! I am the only one that got married in a building and we stayed up all night cooking for the reception... Since you are planning a May wedding why not go to a local park and have a "BBQ reception"? All 3 of my sisters had outside weddings... My oldest sister had hers in a park (In columbia PA) that they rented a few pavilions at and the kids could play while the adults mingled... It rained all day, but it was such a fine mist that we still did the ceremony and the dancing in the rain... It was very surreal. :-) They did the BBQ...My next youngest sister had her ceremony at a roadside park by a dam (Reading PA) (think waterfall in the back ground. ) Yes, there were truckers honking as they went over the road above the dam, but it was great! Her mother in law made all the food (crock pots and finger foods). My youngest sister had hers in a botanical park(Lancaster PA) (still free) that had a gazeeboo... Then a friend of the family supplied all the food (and their restaurant) for the reception...
We all took our own stereo systems and pre made music cds with a mix of songs so all we had to do was have a teen change the cd when it was done...
We did not supply more than a couple chairs... People either brought their own camp chairs or sat on blankets that we had scattered around... A true picnic wedding. :-) We made sure that there were at least 3 cameras at the wedding and ended up with hundreds of pics... If there are certain poses you want write them down and make sure to get them either before, during, or after that special day... You don't have to pay anyone to take pics, use digital cameras and edit as you like...
NOTE: As soon as you tell vendors that its a wedding the cost triples...
And as I (I was the first sister to be married) told all 3 of my sisters... when the day comes everything else fades into the back ground and the important thing is you standing there with your new hubby commiting to each other for life! So no matter what you do, the day will be special because its YOURS!
Our wedding was very cheap. We had the ceremony at my moms house and did a bbq. We grilled hamburgers and hotdogs, had potatoe salad, beans, root beer floats, etc. People loved it!! I made my own wedding cake, and to save money on a dress i found a real preatty brides maid dress and ordered it in white. It was under 200 dollars. Then we just rented the hall at a vfw and had the reception. We saved a ton on food since we did the bbq and just had a dj and put so much down for free beer and pop. Everyone else paid for what they wanted to drink. It was really nice and cheap and so many people have told us what a fun, nice wedding it was. It was very non traditional and people like it. Oh yeah, and we didnt hire a professional photographer. I just had a family member who is good at taking pics do that. Nothing fancy, and they still turned out great. That way people could get thier own pics to. Good luck and congrats on the wedding!!!!
My 2nd wedding was in our home and our closest friends and family were there. My hubby and I wore Harley Davidson t-shirts, jeans, and slippers. My friend Jeff (ordained) married us (for the price of a 6pk of Guinness) and my daughter (from previous marriage) threw rose petals at my head. We had a GREAT time and it was very memorable! Monday is our 2yr anniversary... There was a blizzard the day we got married and I suspect we'll have one just about every year on our anniversary. My bday is 4 days after our anniversary! I've always had a ton of snow for my bday. It was also my grandparents anniversary.
There are ways to make it memorable and special without expense.
3mos later, I surprised my hubby with a honeymoon to St. Croix. Had everything handled. That was only $1500 for 5 days w/flight included.
We rented a pavilion on the boardwalk for 200 bucks. We got married by a JP on the beach which cost us 50. Family members all brought a dish and we had a potluck. We spent 250 on our cake (which seemed ridiculous to me but I've come to find out that is pretty cheap) which we had made at the shoprite bakery and we spent the night at a bed and breakfast which cost us 450. The only bummer was we couldn't have any alcohol on the beach so we had to toast with fake champagne. If it had rained we would have done the ceremony inside the pavilion and it was a little cold because to get it cheap we had to do it in the off season but we just played a lot of fast music and danced a lot to keep warm ;) Check out some parks in your area and don't be afraid to ask people to bring food after all that’s the traditional way that weddings were held in many countries. We did splurge on the photography because I really wanted good pictures but even that was only 2000 because we paid a photography student from a local college to do it. Congrats on the wedding and new home!
my wedding costed me $550.00 i did a outdoor wedding in the country at my dad's very pretty it was done in western we bought our flowers at the dollarstore and also dollar tree has all kinds of stuff for weddings thats where i got my table covers everything....for the cake i went to brookshire bros and order a long sheet cake with flowers on it and our name it was very pretty for $35.00 i got my dress off of craigslist for $75.00 looks brandnew:) i went to walmart and spent $125.00 on wine we did bbq and finger foods and i had a good friend take the pic turned out great:) for the music my brother brought his system and we did cd's and i had the jp come out and marrys us $50.00bucks.....and i rented chairs for everybody to sit at and tables for $170.00....at the rental places you will be amazed how cheap you can do a wedding:) and if ur new home has a nice yard that would be a perfect place right where yall's heart's will live happy ever after:)) we got married may22,10:) may make for a very pretty wedding month.....best wishes
Do you have a special family friend that would want to be involved? There is a way for people to get ordained online - http://www.theamm.org/?gclid=CKaEyYT6qKYCFQ975QodPyE8mA.
If you don't want a big wedding, make a CD mix of songs to be played so you don't have to worry about a DJ, go to a grocery store for the flowers (and the cake!). For gift bags, get a lot of Hershey Kisses and wrap them up in tulle from a fabric store.
I think having it at your home is a great idea, though. What a special homecoming treat (or....tell everyone you are having a housewarming party and give your guests a surprise wedding). That might be overboard, though :)
Congratulations!! I got married (my 2nd, his 1st) in May and it was also low-key and low-budget, but everyone said it was wonderful and one of the nicest weddings they had ever attended! We got married at a bed and breakfast - a big Victorian house- and it was not expensive and they provided all the glassware and plates and things, which was awesome.
I think the biggest thing is to decide ahead of time WHAT is most important to you? Is there a special flower you love that you want in your bouquet? Is there just some little touch you've always thought you'd like to have at your wedding- a certain color or decoration, a certain food, whatever??
I have to say that IMO- photographs are worth splurging on. Now- we were lucky because we have a co-worker who is a professional photographer and she took all our pictures as a gift! But honestly, that is one area where i would have spent money, because you will have those FOREVER.
What I would suggest is do NOT hire a 'wedding photographer' with expensive packages, and posed photos, etc. Try to find a newspaper photographer or someone like that who is willing to take DIGITAL shots for you and put them on Snapfish or a similar website so you and your family members can choose what you want prints of. We did this and it was lovely- I got color and black and white prints of all my favorite photos, cousins could order pics of their families, etc. - and I actually printed a picture of the cake as a magnet for our fridge, and used another picture on our thank yous.
So it is VERY flexible. Just look around- ask to see examples of other pics they've taken, you might even find a talented student willing to work inexpensively.
For flowers,etc. If there is ONE type of flower you love- build your bouquet around that, or just carry a couple of stems of it. You can actually have very nice flowers relatively inexpensively if you stick to what is in season and again, just decide what you really need. We had one floral arrangement in the hall of the home where we got married on the staircase landing- and then just had them MOVE the floral arrangement into the dining room for the food table when the ceremony was done and we all moved in there!
As far as food- no need for a sit-down dinner! We had tons of 'finger food' and got married in the morning and sort of had a brunch. It was elegant, but much much less expensive than a sit down meal. Since the space was not too big, this was also nice because people could mingle and go out onto the wrap around porch to sit and visit.
We only served iced tea, coffee, and punch. We considered having a toast- but my dad is a recovered alcoholic and although I know he would not have minded, we just thought "Do we really need to?" and honestly the answer was no. So unless having a bar is important to you- just do something like that- OR serve wine and beer only and buy it wholesale somewhere by the case and put it out in tubs of ice.
Please check out the AWESOME site www.offbeatbride.com for ideas!!
Some of them are a lot more 'creative' than I would have wanted, but it is full of really wonderful, original weddings and ideas for doing things your own way. So many people getting married in such personal ways, places, etc.- there is no 'official' way to get married now, so just write down what's most important to you and DO IT :)
Good luck to you on your wedding and congratulations again!!
I love the idea of having it in the park! We had ours outside in front of a gazebo at the local country club. A friend of mine had hers in her parent's backyard, and it was beautiful. We went to a bed and breakfast on our wedding night, and it was very romantic! It cost a little more than a regular hotel, but it was wonderful! It made us feel worlds away, instead of right down the street! Congratulations!
1. have it somewhere you do not have to pay for or where it will be cheap. I love the idea of having it at your house - in your backyard. Use tons of candles and have it at sunset. Very romantic! Use white Christmas lights (love this idea) and decorate. Depending on the size of your yard, you could just rent tables/chairs and have people sit at them during the ceremony/dinner/etc instead of having one place for the ceremony and another for the reception.
2. have the JP come to your house or see if a friend/family member is ordained and could do it for you. If not, are you a member of a church? I believe some will come to your house and marry you there.
3. If you want Bridesmaids/Groomsmen, ask the women to wear the same color dress but in whatever style they want. Same with the guys - choose a color pants/shirt and have them pick out their own.
4. For flowers, I like the idea of a single flower or maybe doing silk ones for you to carry. I would not worry about others for decoration - use candles for the romantic effect. You could also take empty wine bottles and drill a hole into the bottom of them and fill the bottles with white christmas lights as additional decor.
5. For food - ask everyone to bring a dish or do simple finger foods. If you want to get beer, depending on the number of people, get a keg and then 2 liters of soda (or cans). Get a bottle of champagne for the toast and that is it.
6. If you have a friend or family member who can sing - ask them to do so for your first song. Or just have CDs (IPOD) playing.
7. Think of a 'theme' if you want one and go with that. If you choose a 'beach theme' - wear a simple shorter dress and have hubby dress in khaki and a white shirt and no shoes. Use beach blankets on the tables (as runners) and then buckets with sand / candles put in them for decoration.
IF you are doing something low key like this do not spend a bunch of money on table decorations/flowers/favors. Any kind of candy on the table (just thrown about or in individual bags/boxes) are nice and Kisses always are a hit. I love the idea of a candy buffet (if you like candy) - have a bunch of different shaped bowls with different types of candy in it.
Do not have people sign a guest book - instead get a large matted picture frame that maybe holds a 5x7 or 8x10 and have people sign that) We did that and love to look at what people wrote!
If you do not have a friend/family member with a good camera (chances are in this day and age you will) - put a few disposable cameras on the tables and let guests take pictures.
white Christmas twinkle lights - borrow from everybody!
inexpensive bouquets....WalMart's are <$5, Aldi's are even cheaper! Borrow vases or use mason jars & put the flowers all over the space.
candles, tealights....again, all over the room.
These three items will set the stage beautifully! Soft music constantly playing.....I don't care how dorky it will seem beforehand - you will appreciate it at the time.
Corral your best friends/family & make them responsible for the setup & production! Designate a leader & let her divvy up the chores.
Decide upon a buffet meal or just cake & drinks.
Simple menu: a huge bone-in ham, baked. Scalloped potatoes, a pretty salad, & a crockpot of fresh green beans. Fresh bread & a variety of drinks. & that's it.....that's all you need!
As for the cake: I've been to several weddings where they actually had faux layers on the bottom of the tiered cake! Weird & yet it really worked for the small weddings. Hand the responsibility of the cake to a trustworthy family member & you're set....because those top layers can be made with 8 & 9" rounds......so you're talking - what? 2 cake mixes if you use boxed?
I have lots of other ideas.....feel free to contact me!
I have a friend who did a wonderful wedding and was very happy with it. She had it in her backyard. It was pot luck so each quest brought a platter. She had a friend marry her (he got licensed online) and that made it really special. They said it was such a great wedding. In my opinion, if you like to dance, a band is where you spend your money. I hope this helps! Good luck!
I think having it at your house would be an ideal celebration and the perfect way to honor your relationship and this whole new chapter in your lives....there is meaning behind your choice after all 'home is where the heart is' and in marriage you are uniting your hearts forever! *That sounded a bit cheesy but it's true right?
How's your backyard? Or even, how open is your floor plan inside?
Having a low-key yet meaningful intimate affair is absolutely doable with out breaking the bank.
~I spent +/- $5000 on my wedding and it was perfect! My wedding pics look like something out of a magazine spread because when you have a small event a little goes a long way as far as everything...from the cake to the flowers and decorations to the food and beverages...and your meaningful venue will go a very long way....and you will be almost guaranteed to have spared yourself the feelings of the 'big wedding deal' as you say (I said it too!)...sleep on it, roll it around in your head, visualize your new house and see what pops up!? I bet it will be beautiful!
My husband and I tried to do the same thing for our wedding (keep expenses low)... we had the actual ceremony at the West End Overlook - where we had an amazing view of the city. You have to get a permit to be able to have a wedding there, but I think it cost like $25 - then we paid another small fee to have someone perform the ceremony.
As for the reception, you could see about maybe renting a pavilion (May shold be nice out, right?) or a VFW/American Legion and see if friends/family could help out and bring a dish.
Good luck - and congrats!
Congratulations!!! I suggest you guys look into who, among friends and family, has the most beautiful backyard and get married there, so you get beautiful pictures expertly taken by an attendee...;-)
After that I would share a cake with everyone in the house (or in the yard) and, finally everybody off to BOWLING, where you may decide to have finger food catered later when it's lunch/dinner time.
I think it would be so much fun!!!!
it is not expensive to get married in a church if you want. We had a reception in my parents backyard when her flowers were in bloom. we put up a canopy tent in case it rained we ordered some delicious food from a nice supermarket catering place. I had a friend who was great at baking and I helped her bake a cake the day before and we decorated it with flowers to make it gorgeous. I picked dresses from JC Penny's so girls could go to local JC Penny"s and try on and find their size. I asked a relative with a great voice to sing and she felt too shy and emotional but she wrote a song for us and recorded it. So ask according to what talents your friends and relatives have. We asked someone with a video camera to video the ceremony and we put lots of disposable cameras around and got great pictures from all the cameras!! You're getting such great advice here. Enjoy!
I had a friend who had to pay for her own wedding and hardly had any money. She was Catholic and her husband was a different Christian faith. They found a beautiful mountain area, with lots of wildflowers, brought a preacher and only their immediate family, had the wedding on the completely undecorated mountain, and then had a family dinner afterwards. She bought a beautiful dress and I believe that her husband wore a tux, but I don't think they bought flowers or bridesmaid dresses and never had a reception. I saw pictures of it and I thought it looked absolutely quiet, peaceful, intimate and beautiful.
Hit the library or bookstore for help. I found a book in 1997 to help me plan - 1001 ways to save $ and still have a fabulous wedding. If she has friends with time or talent, ask if they would be willing to give THAT as the wedding gift (one of my friend made my bridesmaids dresses for my present, another did the flowers as my present, some others decorated, etc.).
Depending on how many people are attending, that'll determine how far your reception budget will go. $500 isn't much, so light food will go farthest, and I expect a BETWEEN meal reception will be best (not lunch or dinner).
I got married at a county park in West Chester, PA - it had a house that we could use, and the surrounding grounds for $200 for the DAY! It was lovely. Check out your local parks or historical societies, etc. to see what they have for how much. You may be surprised. We had a JP, which was fine.
Feel free to click on my name and contact me directly for the full story :)
Have fun!
So you said you don't want the expense of a traditional wedding....but what do you picture having on your wedding day? =)
You can have a ton of things that traditional weddings have but for a fraction of the cost. But if you don't want something traditional that opens a whole new can of ideas.
My first thought would be to find some place pretty (park, friends house, backyard, beach) thats free or pay parking only, and having a ceremony with a JOP or an ordained friend, and exchanging your own vows.
My next thought would be you could go out to dinner and enjoy the company of the people you invite after. Or have a potluck dinner at the location of the ceremony.
If you want a wedding cake you could look into superwalmart or grocery stores that do cakes, and not tell them it's for a wedding. It'll be cheaper if you say it's for an anniversary or Baptismal. OR you could simply do a cupcake tower with whatever colors you want (either make them yourself by practicing cupcake swirls or buy them, either way not expensive).
If you want flowers, my first thought are carnations are always cheap, and pretty much always available.
Don't even get me started on my fun ideas, thats the direction of my next wedding. ;)
Congrats!!!
We had our wedding ceremony in our front yard & our reception in our back yard. We still (5 years later) have people tell us what a fun & low key wedding we had.
We got a trellis arch (from a friend, but you can buy them at craft stores in the spring) and wrapped it with fake yellow flowers w/green leaves (also from a craft store). We placed it in front of some rhodedendron bushes which gave us a nice green background. I went to a garden center & bought a bunch of potted plants of various sizes (I think about 20) and placed them on both sides of the arch (I later planted them in the garden beds). We were married in front of the arch. We have some really awesome pictures from it. We also rented white chairs & set them up to make and aisle for me to walk down.
My husband wore a tan suit. I wore a wedding dress. My brides maids wore a light green skirt & flowered shirt & the men wore tan slacks & light green polo shirts. (The men were THRILLED that they didn't have to wear suits or tuxes!)
After the ceremony everyone walked to the back yard. We rented tents & tables for everyone to sit/eat at (we had about 100 people). And we had our food catered. You could do something similar on a smaller scale.
We had a DJ, but that was a waste of money. If I had to do it over again I would have set up some speakers & played my own music. It was a great, relaxed event. I loved my wedding. If I had to do it all over again I would do it the same (except for the DJ).
I think you can have a wonderful, beautiful & memorable event cheaply & at your house (if that is what you want). One advantage of having it at your house is that everyday you can look out your window & remember your special day. The down side....if you ever need to move, it may make it a more emotional decision. (I personally, would have no problem moving, but many of my friends have mentioned that if it was them, they would find that difficult).
My husband and i also wanted a low key wedding.
I bought a wedding dress and a flower girld dress off the internet for less than $200, and we both got our hair done at the local beauty school (schedule 4 or more hours for this, just in case something happens!).
my son (who was five at the time) got a bear costume-because when we first began making plans about the wedding , i mentioned i would get my daughter a dress because she was a flower girl, and my son a suit so he could be the ring bearer. he insisted on getting a bear costume because he was a ring bear.
anyhow, we went to the justice of the peace at a historic courthouse in indepoendence, mo. to make my children feel included, our ceremony included presenting them with a family medallion representing our new blended family. the medallions were $40 each, and the ceremony was $65.
afterwards we went to a local photography studio for inexpensive pictures, then we went to dinner.
i have had several questions about y my son is in a bear costume in our wedding photos! lol
Do the two of you have a special place you like to go for hiking, walking or scenic overlook? Maybe have a JP marry you in that special place. I like the park idea, that is a good suggestion. If you don't want to "go away for the night", maybe invite (they pay for themselves) your guests to join you at a local theme park after the ceremony. That could be a lot of fun and tons of memories, just make sure to bring a camera. It's not typical or too overly expensive, but could be fun.
Although our wedding was a big deal, the things that made it the most special were the things that were personal to us. I grew up on a farm, so we rode a hay wagon (yep, in our wedding day finest) from the church to the reception, which was on the lawn at my parents' house... We can give you all the advice in the world, but if it isn't meaningful to you and your fiance, then it won't make it special for the two of you. Talk to him to see what would mean the most to you both - do you love to cook, to be outdoors, to spend time with children, to root for a sports team (go Steelers!), to play or listen to music... Once you have what I'll loosely call a "theme" for the wedding, we mamas can provide suggestions of how to incorporate these ideas into something fun and memorable...
Things we did to make it special:
- he proposed to me when I was making jello, so our favors were a box of jello (I called the mfg and they sent me 200 boxes for free, haha), wrapped with a bow and our brief proposal story
- our fave movie was My Blue Heaven and I called him "my Blou heaven" (his name is Lou), I had a handkerchief embroidered with "My Blou Heaven" on it and as I entered the room, my maid of honor handed it to him
- the flower petals used by our flower girl were dried flowers of all the ones he'd given me over the years
- after announcing our names, we exited to various rock versions of My Little Sunshine, in honor of my dad who sang that to me as a child and died before our wedding
- the ring bearer carried our rings on the stems of Calalillies, during the reception, we presented those flowers to the woman who set us up on our first date
- the person at the end of each row held a flower, the 2 mothers held a ribbon, I entered the room empty handed and built my bouquet as I passed each row, the 2 mothers tied it off with their ribbons
- instead of asking who gives this bride away, the pastor asked the congregation to cheerfully yell "we love you guys!"
- our 'programs' (that I printed on fancy cardstock using Publisher) had a picture of me pinning a flower to my dad's lapel at my oldest sister's wedding 30yrs ago, and explained our exit song
- my husband is a foot taller than me, I hid 10" platform sandals that friends of mine sent from Tokyo (as a gag years before) and wore them for our first dance, it was hysterical
- our table centerpiece was a few pictures of our honeymoon, the other centerpieces were fun facts/dates/trivia about the guests
I know I'm forgetting something. We paid for our wedding ourselves, with a budget of $10K, which covered everything for 150 people, the dress, etc.
How exciting for you guys - good luck!!!!!
Check out younghouselove.com
This is a young couple's blog mostly about decorating and diy projects. They had their wedding in the back yard of their new house. They share all the details including pictures. It will also be a great source to you for your new home.
