My 2 1/2 Year Old Won't Go to Sleep on His Own ANYMORE

I'm sure my answer won't be a popular one. I think it's as clear as day....COMFORT HIM! I'm sorry, but I think your husband is being a tad mean. It's not wrong to keep trying to put him back in the bed. But I get the impression Dad's goal is to "make" him get over being scared rather than comfort him thru it. You said you feel pretty sure it's because of the fireworks and thunder. So there you go. There's your "why" answered and means this will just be a phase. I don't believe he's manipulating you. I believe he has a genuine need right now that needs to be met and if you meet that need now by showing him comfort and security, he'll feel safe and go back to sleeping on his own very soon.
If this were the middle of the day, and your son came to you saying he was scared, carry me, hold me, you would probably do just that. But "society" tells us when this same child has this same need at night, it's all of a sudden manipulation and you should not let him control the nighttime.
I can think of many times I needed to crawl in the bed with my parents. I can think of many times my own child has done that already. I'm so thankful my parents allowed it so it didn't seem foreign to me when my child needed it.

H.,
I know it's hard, but what your husband is doing will pay off in the long run. He may have to do this for several more days in a row to make sure your son sees that he has no other choice but to go to sleep. I had a hard time listening to my daughter cry when she was little and now she's almost 7 and still wants me or daddy to lay down with her until she falls asleep. Sometimes I don't mind : it's nice to snuggle with her, especially if I'm really tired and need to go on to bed myself. But sometimes it's very inconvenient because her bedtime during school is 8:30pm and I still have tons of stuff to do to get ready for the next day and she wants me to lay there until she falls asleep. That can take forever sometimes. I don't feel as sorry for her now because I know she is manipulating me so she won't have to go to sleep, but it was so hard when she was a baby. Just remember that what you do now is going to set a precedent that may have to be broken later for everybody's sanity and sleep.
Hope that helps
M. M.

Yes he probably really is scared and yes he probably hopes you will put him in your bed. I have observed with my three children that it takes weeks to establish a healthy bed time routine and only one night to wreck it. Try sitting in his room with him but not talking to or engaging him until he falls asleep. That way you can support him through his fear without taking him into your bed. Move closer to the door each night. My husband and I take turns when we go through one of these changes and we take a book, laptop, knitting or something quiet to occupy us while we sit. Don't worry, even though it feels like it it won't last forever.

Yes, what your husband is doing seems to be the right decision. If you keep giving in to your son he will continue to play on that. My daughter went through a phase where she was very scared of thunderstorms and fireworks, and we refused to cater to her fears. Every time she would cry or communicate fear over the thunder (and fireworks too but thunder comes up way more often) we would sit and talk to her about what the thunder is and that there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. We tried explaining thunder in a couple different ways and finally the one that worked for her (because she loves flowers so much) is we told her that the thunder makes the flowers grow, and the next few times it would storm, we would go outside the next morning and look for flowers. It seems to have worked because you can tell that when it storms she still gets a little nervous. But she always says something about how the flowers are growing and I think that since we have never babied her fears like "oh honey, it's going to be ok" she tends to deal with it well on her own. As far as the million excuses of not going to bed (potty, drink, etc.) I would make sure she goes potty right before bed, has a drink, and anything else she would use as an excuse and when she would try that i would just tell her that she is fine and turn around and close the door. I'm not sure if any of this will help you but I went through the exact same thing with my daughter who is now 3 1/2 and she seems to be fine. I think the main point is to not cater to them no matter how hard they cry because they know they can play that. I'm not saying to not address their fears, but I do believe there is a good way to do it that can work for them and you.

Good luck!

If It were me, I too could not stand to hear my child suffer and that is what he's doing. I don't believe in playing hard ball with a child especially this age. He'll get over it through love and understanding and so what if he sleeps with you...that's normal behavior... don't you or your husband ever remember being scared as a child? Did you want to be abandoned? Let him decide when he's ready not your husband because he needs sleep.. you didn't have children so you could have a good night sleep every night I'm sure. Why not use this time to bond with your child so he knows he 's safe with you... who else can he turn too... my daughter was also very scared by the fireworks and I held her while she puked her dinner on me cuz it scared her so much... I held her and she slept in our bed as she always does(on the side, our crib has one side off and is attached to our bed) and is over it now. Why tramatize him more ...listen to your instinct, don't try to force him, he has a reason for his fears that must be respected... sorry for the long wind but I'm not a fan of rigid parenting, it only back fires.

Get one of those flashlights that roar when turned on, they cost about $9 in the toy department. When my daughter went through this she would turn the flashlight on and it would roar and she would say "Listen things that are scaring me go away when I count to three 1...2...3... GO AWAY!" and shine the light. Obviously you will have to say this but let him do the flashlight!

Hi! I saw this same thing on "Supernanny" last year. He may have been scared that one night and had some residual, but this has clearly turned into a manipulation of getting what he wants. They are really good at figuring out what works! On the 4th, he got scared and got the most delicious attention of his life :o) He wants that all the time now, and you can't give it to him sanely. Be firm! Don't let the screaming manipulate you. On the Supernanny show, they resulted in laying on the floor of his room as he screamed, until he calmed down and went to sleep. Each night, they would move farther and farther away from the crib until eventually they were all the way out. This was tiring but eventually worked. I personally do not think your situation should go to this extent, but it may be worth a try if it persists. Good luck...