My Kid Won't Sleep!

Updated on July 08, 2008
M.H. asks from Minneapolis, MN
14 answers

I have a 7 1/2 month old who hasn't been sleeping well since he was 6 months old--the same time his two bottom teeth came in. He used to wake up just once and there was even a 5 night stint of sleeping through the night. We assumed it was caused by teething and patiently waited for this to pass so he would sleep again. He still wakes up about 5-8 times a night after a month an a half.

We tried the 'cry it out' method for a couple of weeks, but his crying didn't gradualy stop...it keeps going for at least 30 minutes. He was congested for a while and we were trying all sorts of things for that. He wakes up as if he's starving and we used to give him a bottle, but now were trying to give him just water. I used to nurse him, butI have done so in a month as he refuses and wants a bottle.

Any ideas on how we can get this little guy to sleep through--or at least just wake up only once? We're worried he's getting used to waking up in the middle of the night to eat.

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C.D.

answers from La Crosse on

You are asking a lot of a 7 1/2 month-old if you expect him to sleep through the night or only wake up once. My baby had chronic sinusitis for her first year and I didn't get any sleep! However, it being her first year I really didn't expect to get any sleep. It sounds like your baby has a chronic infection like sinusitis and you need to get him to a doctor. Perhaps even a chiropractor. Please refrain from using the cry-it-out method because his habits will only get worse if he is trained to expect you will not respond to his needs (he cannot speak--he cries when he needs you). For babies, what they need=what they want. Give him what he needs. You don't get good sleep for the first couple years of your child's life...it is normal and everybody experiences it...welcome to the club! I also think it is not good to give him a bottle of water. He needs breastmilk (or formula, whichever you are using)--and he needs to be held or coslept with. Good luck! Go to the doctor and have him looked at!

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L.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Got three questions for you. Are you turning on the light? Are you taking him out of the crib? Are you talking to him? These three things are all big no no's. If you have a night light that's enough light. Turning on the overhead light means that it's time to be awake. If it's dark then that's a simple way for a baby to know that hey I'm suppose to be sleeping right now. Taking him out of the crib will also get him thinking that hey I should be awake right now. Talking to him you got it the same thing. Babies don't care when they sleep. If you want him to sleep while you are sleeping then you got to teach him when it's time to sleep and when it's time to be awake. Bedtime routines are great! Giving a bottle in the middle of the night even if it's just water is teaching him that he can eat in the middle of the night. When they get older and you can communicate with them and they can get their own water and drink it themselves then fine let them have water. It also reads to me like he doesn't know how to put himself to sleep. When you put him down at night are you putting him down fully awake. Some say they can be drowsy, but I would suggest having him be fully awake until he gets the whole how to put himself to sleep thing. I would suggest a mobile or better yet a mobile with a remote or a stuffed animal that plays music. If you play the mobile or the stuffed animal then maybe that will help him settle down and go to sleep. Another thing I suggested to another mom was teach him how to pull the cord on the stuffed animal so that he can do it for himself in the middle of the night. Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Miami on

Hi Melody,
I have to agree with the people who are suggesting a doc's visit! Try to rule out the things that may need "treatment" first.
Secondly, you need to do what you are comfortable with - to cry, or not to cry - you are the parent. It is also true that you do not want to offer too much stimulation with light or noise, or talking!
About the eating thing. You can judge by the amount that he will eat. Certainly try to offer breast-milk or formula. If he takes more than an ounce, he was hungry. If he takes less than an ounce, he wants attention. This happened with both my children around this age - very normal. If he takes a nuk, then you may just rock him for a few minutes and transfer him to the bed.
Your frustrations are real. Just remind yourself that you are learning this whole parenting thing too (each child is different). He is communicating something to you. The quicker you catch on to his communication, the quicker you can bring yourself to acceptance and address the issue. You may have to modify how you respond to him, or modify your expectations at this stage.
And....take a nap when you can :)

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M.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi Melody,

My daughter went through this as well. It was very exhausting, but eventually it got better. She's now four and has been sleeping soundly pretty much through the night for 2 years now. I guess my advice is general, not specific, but I can agree it's pretty normal for a 6 month old to do this.(Read enough of these posts on this site and you'll see the same question asked again and again "Why won't they sleep through the night?") Because most of them don't! If he wants to eat at night, it's probably because he needs to. Children under 2 change very much and I wouldn't worry about "bad habits" being established. Trust your instincts and let them show you what he needs. Ultimately you know what will work best if you allow yourself to concentrate on what he wants/needs (same thing at this age) and what helps him the most. My solution (and I know this doesn't work for everyone) was to finally pull her into bed with me and there we both slept better. Now she sleeps in her bed except when she's scared or sick, but that's becuause she's 4. Just remember, they change and grow a lot!

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A.H.

answers from Appleton on

Definitely have his ears checked, just to rule out an infection at least. My daughter was sleeping through the night, and when she suddenly stopped, I didn't know why. Turned out it was an ear infection. Once we got her treatment for the ear infection, and continued treating her congestion, tilted her mattress, etc. she started sleeping through the night again.

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R.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would suggest taking him to the doctor... He may have an ear infection. When they are teething and have a runny nose, this can lead to excess fluid in the ears and they have a hard time getting rid of it and it can get infected. My daughter has an ear infection almost every month, and my pediatrician said that it is linked to teething/colds. For most kids, it is more painful at night when they are laying down... You may not notice anything during the day, but at night is when he gets crabby. I would strongly encourage you to take him in to get things checked out.

The moms that wrote in and said that you are expecting too much from your baby to sleep through the night - I disagree. I think all babies are different, and your son may need a little help with routines to get to that point. But I don't think it's outrageous to expect it. Good luck!

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A.F.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi Melody!

I just wanted to send a big hug your way as I can totally relate! My son will be a year old at the end of this month and he has NEVER slept through the night.
Some baby's just don't handle teething very well (mine for instance...lol) and they need alot of attention and comfort to help them get through it. My son got his first tooth at 5 months and now is working on #8. Once the teeth start...they just keep coming, there really is no break from it. It's very possible that he has one or more teeth coming in now and is uncomfortable. It's also possible that he's coming to an important milestone. Being 7 1/2 months old...I'm sure he's sitting up, eating, perhaps starting to crawl...all of these things could possibly interrupt his sleep as well.

I've been to the point of exhaustion, exasperation and desperation...trying everything from CIO to co-sleeping, but nothing seems to consistently work for him. I've come to the realization that not EVERY baby (mine included) is going to fit the mold of what 'should' be...like he SHOULD sleep through the night or he SHOULD do this or that. Baby's develop at their own pace. I've decided that I need to let go of my expectations for my son and allow him to be who he is...even if it means he's not sleeping through the night. It's hard to do when you're tired and everyone around you is telling you that he SHOULD. I took some serious inventory of my son. He's an extremely happy baby...even though he doesn't get the amount of sleep that everyone says he SHOULD. He does nap well during the day, he's developing well and on schedule, I can't argue with that.
I'm sorry. I'm probably not giving you the answer that you want to hear...I completely understand,just know that you're not alone...there are MANY of us out there dealing with or have had dealt with this. May I suggest that you check out Dr. Sears' website at www.askdrsears.com. He has some great information that might help you figure this out.
Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Madison on

Dear Melody,
My daughter is now 17 months old and was 4 pounds when we brought her home. She woke up every couple of hours for over 6 months straight. I read every book, tried every bit of advice, including the cry it out method. Our daughter at about 7 months went way back instead of forward on her sleeping. She had a huge growth spurt and needed feed. According to our doctor water will settle our daughter down for an hour but if she is hungry she needs feed. After the doctor visits and check ups we finally decided that she would let us know when she could sleep all night. She slept with us (we took turns) and finally one morning at 10 months she did not crawl over us to get a bottle. The next night and the next. So we moved her into her own room. We still have issues. This Tuesday we got up at 3 and never went back to sleep. Check with your doctor, have a routine and wait it out. It does get better!

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would recommend the book Good Night, Sleep Tight, by Kim West. It is a gentle approach to helping you kid sleep through the night. It has worked wonders for my 3 month old and my two year old. Or I have heard that Healthy Sleep Habits is a good one too. But definately get a good sleep book. It goes all the way up to age five and talks about teething and all sorts of routine busters.

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K.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

My advice would be since you've weaned to make sure he's getting a lot of 1 on 1 time with you. He may miss his mama. And you may want to try to bring him into your bed and see if he sleeps any better. We did this often with our kids. They go through phases, growth spurts, and teething. Our 4 year old still wakes up occasionally and sneaks into a bed with us. It's a long process! Good luck!

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D.R.

answers from Sheboygan on

If you are going to let your child cry it out it will probably take more than a half hour. When I let my daughter cry it out she cried for three hours the first night. It was very tough for my husband and I to let her go for so long. But she was 11 months old and had worked up to getting up 7 -8 times a night! The second night she cried for 30 minutes. On the third night she fussed for a couple minutes. By letting your child cry for 30 minutes then going to him is only reinforcing his belief that he just needs to keep it up and eventually you will come. Good luck and I hope you start getting some sleep soon!

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L.B.

answers from Hickory on

Did it start right after he was immunized at 6mo? That is one of the side affects. If not, try to think back to when he was 6mo and see what changed and eliminate that.

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J.H.

answers from Lincoln on

My son Tyler is 8 months and we just went through this. I took him to the pediatrician to make sure nothing was wrong with him. He was fine thankfully. He wasn't developing good sleep habits because we didn't let him cry so he wouldn't wake up our 3 year old. The Dr said let him cry - it doesn't hurt them. Tyler sleeps in the crib in our room so my husband and I have been sleeping in the living room. The first 2 nights sucked - he cried for 45 minutes twice but he slept through the 3rd. Knowing he was OK helped me go back to sleep while he cried - earplugs helped too. And he still was lovey to me in the morning, so he didn't hate us for doing it. He still cries once in a while but only 5 minutes.

It's worth trying - Dr said it may take 2 weeks to get him in a good habit. Don't spend your money on gripe water or any gimmicks and remember crying is how babies release stress. Good luck to you. I know what you're going through and it's miserable.

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