My Son Is Leaving for Iraq

K., My son was in the Navy for 10 years and deployed 4 times. One of his favorite boxes that he received was his "Birthday Party in a Box" and "Christmas in a Box". For the Birthday Party box I sent homemade cookies, decorated with sprinkles, candles, balloons, a can of punch, plastic tablecloth, party plates, goody bags which can contain small toothpaste, deodorant, etc - anything that he associates with a birthday. I always sent Fruity Pebbles because that is the only cereal he asked for when he was away. Then I took pictures of family and friends and taped or stapled them to the inside of the flaps of the box so that when he opened the box, he could see them "around" his boxed party. I even filled a balloon or 2 to use as filler. He said he really felt loved and special on his birthday because of that box.

On Christmas, I sent a small Christmas tree with all the ornaments to decorate it. Send anything that is special to your family and to him about Christmas. I also sent one of those motion sensor things that sings "Merry Christmas" when you get close. He said the other guys really enjoyed that box as well.

As far as the party, have the people you invite write him a letter about how they feel about him. Put those in an album and send them to him in a care package later on. I put ours in a scrapbook album, along with pictures of the family or friend who wrote the letter. He has that album still . It can even be a small one or several small ones, something he can tuck away for private moments when he is lonely or homesick.

Thank you for raising a son willing to serve our country and thank him for me for being willing to serve. God bless!

Hi K.,
Don't forget to have a quiet walk together in the evenings and give him your limitless ear. He is going on a great adventure and needs to know your unconditional love is always there. He needs to know he can always be happy/sad/excited/worried about his upcoming travels.

If you could put together a small photo album of his family and closest friends - maybe even a couple from his bday party. Take a picture of your home so he can remember. These things will give him strength when he is homesick. Write a love note and insert it in the back telling him how proud you are of him, how you pray for his return every day, and how much you are excited about the man he has become.

Please keep us updated on his tour - we'd like to pray and think of him too! C.

PS: Toss in a Rubiks Cube to keep him busy when there is nothing to do.

Dear K.,

The party idea sounds overwhelming to me. My own husband deployed to Iraq and returned and is now facing a second deployment later this year to Afghanistan but other possibilities include Iraq again, the Mexican border and even South Korea depending on what all happens.

Perhaps you could do his birthday and instead of making it all about what holidays he won't be there for-just include some things that make those holidays extra special for your family. Perhaps you could have each person present tell something they're thankful for or something they're thankful for about your son. Words like that echo in our ears during tough moments...

If your son has a favorite food or meal or dessert consider making it. Just because he'll be over there during those holidays doesn't mean you can't send care packages! He will most likely THRIVE on cookies sent, Christmas cards included. Care packages are a BIG deal to everyone of the troops, even when it's a general one given to any needy soldier from a stranger. Letters are always good too.

There's no need to cram the whole year in this one party unless you just really want to. You'll still be able to connect to your son-it will just be across a distance. Putting it all in one celebration sounds good until you read in the flip side- the thought that he won't be present for those holidays and hard though it is to face-the idea that something could happen so it might be the last time to celebrate those with him. Yes, it's unthinkable but these soldiers are only too able to think about it and do.

I don't say these things to upset you-trust me! I lived without my husband and our two young little girls through holidays and birthdays and it was hard but we made sure to send things and acknowledge him at those times and send related type items.

I realize this terrifying for you on the other hand, I'm certain you are proud. How about giving the party a patriotic theme? Lending your support is the best thing you can do-making sure your son knows you're behind him and proud of him and will be there for him no matter what. :)

God bless your family!

My brother has been deployed twice now. We had a party for him both times like your wanting to do. We actually set up the christmas tree and put presents just for him underneath and just had a buffet style dinner and everyone came and visited and left when they wanted, it was like a come and go party, but it was so much fun. Everyone pretty much bought him stuff he would need over there, my parents got him a laptop and some other stuff and I made him a care package, with razors, babywipes (they need them there badly cause of all the sand), stocked him up on suntan lotion cause he said the sun it HOT there and made him a picture album of pictures of us and our other brother and my kids for him to take with him.

Hi K., I'm a local photographer and would like to offer you and your family a free session and dvd of images. Let me know if you're interested and we'll work out the details. Here's my site so you can learn a little bit about me www.dfwexpressions.com. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this challenging time.

You may want to make sure he is okay with a big deal... but I suggest making the either different areas of the house decorated for Thanksgiving/ Christmas or all inside decorated, then outside decorate for his summer birthday (like a luau or BBQ party) Have people bringing gifts either wrap in Christmas paper or birthday paper (you can even assign people what holiday and ask them to dress accordingly - of course not sweaters here in TX though). Take plenty of pictures and each week after deployment you can mail a few to him.

my daughter is on her second deployment
we did thanksgiving early but a bar b q is casual and
good for all age groups so that you can also have a variety of activities. There were a lot a pictures taken and I
had a photo book made from all the pictures that was taken and sent it in her christmas care package
you can get flat rate boxes from the post office and
the main things my daughter asks for are snacks and
personel items (they are appreciated) we usually send her enough to share as she et us know a lot of soliders never get anything

My daughter deployed 3 times starting in 2004. First to Iraq for 12 m onths, home for 9 months, then Kuwait for 13 months, home for 6 months and then to Iraq for 15 months. She is now out of Army as of 8/08. We agreed to pretend like she was at summer camp. Sounds silly, but it works for me. She and I also believe that God is in control and when your "time" is up, it doesn't matter if you are in Iraq or in your bed.
Now for your question? Just have a party at home. He will care where it is, he will want to see everyone. Make it easy on you so you can enjoy him. Ask your guests to bring a care package, already packed and postage paid. You can get a "flat rate" box at the Post office. It is around 10.00 unless the cost went up. I haven't mailed one in a year now. They will need to fill out the form that goes with it that says who it is from and what is inside. you can put the address on it when you get it from him. then you can mail him a pkg every few days until you run out. I mailed magazines, hard candy, lotion, power bars, what ever is his favorite and won't melt. Cant be anything liquid. I did mail listerine because she loves it and it went through ok. I put it in a zip lock bag in case it broke and PO let it go through. put pictures of the family in the boxes. Or friends can include pictures. make it fun. I put random things in like half a bag of cookies I had on the cabinet. My daughter thought it was fun. She loved the hotel size shampoo, soap, conditioner. they have to walk to the shower and it wasn't as much to carry.
My blessings on your son. I will say a prayer for him as I do for all our guys. they are so brave.

K.,
Bless you and your son and your whole family. I have two young sons myself so I can imagine your conflicting feelings.

A combined party of all those holidays sounds WONDERFUL! You already came up with an incredible idea. Maybe assign holidays to the guests. Can you talk someone into coming as a Turkey? Santa? Easter Bunny? And since he will be 21, a Big Bottle of Beer?

Fly the American flag and tie yellow ribbons everywhere! I know you will have all his favorite foods. Enjoy!

All My Very Very Best to you,
P.

I see you have a lot of great pary ideas already.

I do want to say thank you for raising a son willing to fight for our country. He is already a hero, in my opinion! I know he doesn't know me, but please tell him thank you from me, my husband, and my children!

I hope the next few weeks with him are spectacularly fun! You will definitley be in my thoughts as a mom with a son in a war zone.

Your theme could be:
love has no season

Just an idea off the top of my head...what about a traveling party.have 3 people host and every house a different theme decorated to celebrate each holiday. First house with turkey, orange and brown and thanxgiving food, next house w a christmas tree and lites w eggnog etc anf third house a big giant backyard bbq/21 baloons and all his friends as a surprise (the other 2 w just family that end up at last party) and blindfold him as leave each house...I'm full of ideas and give ur son a big hug and tell him thank you for being so selfless for us all!

Dear K.,

I will be praying for your son's safety and for peace in your heart. I am very proud of your son too.
If you decide to have a party at home my suggestion is to make it an open house so that loved ones can be sure to come and go and give more one on one time with your son. Be specific about his needs and wants if people ask, they just want to bless him. At my cousin's farewell to join the army they did a game to raise money for him. They had a 'shave his hair' game. Letting anyone who dontated money to have a turn. They had a great time with it.

God bless you!

K., I know this is a very scary time for you! I have a 20 year old son and can't imagine him being deployed. I am from a military family and have been sending care packages for over 7 years to Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait, Kosovo, Africa, wherever our troops are stationed. The letters I receive from these kids really touches my heart and it's amazing to me how many have no family supporting them. I think it's wonderful that you are doing this for your son - he will have so many good memories from it. I don't have any party advice for you - just wanted you to know that there are many, many patriotic Americans willing to support our troops. Once he gets over there, tell him to register on AnySoldier.com. He and his unit will start receiving care packages from all over America. God bless you and I'll be praying for him and all of our heroes currently serving. P.S. I use cleaner's bags from my husband's shirts to line the boxes before I pack them (I tie them up like a garbage bag). You can't imagine the places that sand can get into!

K.,

God Bless you and your family and thank your son for his service. I love the idea of going to a different house for the different holidays with all the decorations!

I come from a military family, husband, father, son, cousins, uncles, friends - some are retired others are currently deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. For peace, I learned to pray Psalm 91 over my family and friends. It is a Scripture passage of protection that is so powerful! I have heard testimonies from many soldiers who pray that Scripture, their family and friends pray it too, who have witnessed miracle after miracle despite the odds.

Justva thought: when my husband came home from Iraq, all he wanted to do was eat good, American food & spend time with family & friends. Nothing fancy or high energy. Hanging out, eating homecooked food & watching TV was the 'party' he desired. I planned a big thing for him but had to cancel it bc he wasn't up for it. Just a thought. U might have a backup plan incase your son doesn't want to make a huge deal out of his return. Good luck, momma! & give your son a pat on the back for me :)

My son is in Iraq right now so I know the worry you are encountering and the hurt that you feel. I hate to say this but you will read every article after he leaves and worry about each one of them. Where is he-is he alright. Ii guess we are moters uh? As for the party-I don't think where or what you serve mattrs much. Invite lots of his friends and his family. There cannot be too many guests. My son remembers the parties where he could see and be with everyone possible. While he is there there is nothing to do so he will have the memories of each. When you get his address make sure everyone has it. churches vetrans clubs-all his realtives and encourage them to write or send him things. also sign up for SKYPE so you can talk to him. We have a monitor so we can see him. May God Bless you and keep him safe. I will pray for him. If you need me here is my e-mail: ____@____.com. Yours lovingly
M.

I am not a great person in the idea field, but my husband is being deployed and leaving the 21st and will be gone for 9 months. He is in the Navy. My son and I will miss him so much it is hard to put in words.

A friend of mine said that she is going to have different parties in each room (but she is going to wait for her husband to return). She is going to do a Christmas tree in one room, her birthday in another, her husbands in another, her sons in another, etc.

I'm not sure if that helps, but it is a thought. I am horrible at ideas also. I would like to do an awesome fathers day for my husband since he was doing Navy duties last year and is leaving on Father's Day this year. I am horrible at the ideas.

Good luck and remember me if you start feeling lonely, you can always email me at ____@____.com

Good Luck!
S.

K.,

You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers. My brother came back from Iraq in December and it looks as though he will be heading to Afganistan some time next year.

Before he left the first time, all he really wanted was a family affair at "home" (my parent's house) as it was very comfortable for everyone. It was a special time we could all tell him how much we love him and how proud we are of him but he could also escape for a few minutes when it got to be too much.

Please pass our our love and gratitude to your son. If you don't have one, I urge you to get a Service Flag (I ordered mine from serviceflags.com) and hang it somewhere it can be seen. You will be amazed at the number of people it attracts and the amount of support you will get by displaying a flag with a simple star on it!

Blessings,
S.

K.,
I have heard many stories from soldiers that were encouraged by the Military at Watermark Community Church. You guys should check it out! http://www.watermark.org/ministries/outreach/military-min...

You've already got the seeds for a wonderful idea! :) My sister leaves for Afghanistan in 2 weeks for her second deployment - it seems like this time is even harder than the first! :) Just hang in there and know that there are many people praying for your son's safe return! All my best to you and your family!

Hi K.! God bless you and your wonderful son for your sacrific! Tell him Grandma D. said "Thank you."

I am aunt to an ex-soldier who served 3 deployments in Iraq, grandmother to an Airman, stationed in Alaska, whose current job doesn't require him to go into war zones (Thank God!), and mother to a daughter who is a dedicated DFW/USO volunteer.

That said--- I have party ideas.

I would have an Open House at home, allowing plenty of time for guests to come and go. DO NOT schedule on Friday night between 6 and 9pm. Thanks to Friday aft. traffic in the metroplex, some guests won't get there until the party is over!. If you have a small home, plan for guests to spill over into the yard. Maybe rearrange a bedroom with extra chairs to accommadate guests. They will understand.

Serve his favorite Thanksgiving, Christmas and Birthday foods. This may take some creativity since you will probably be serving a large number of people buffet style. If the dressing is a favorite, as it is in my family, I would make dressing balls. Never done it but think you could make your usual dressing recipe, roll into bite size balls and bake until done. Bake his favorite birthday cake and rather than have several cakes that can get messy in serving, make one for him as usual and lots of cupcakes---the gem size are great for buffets. Sausage balls and cakes can be made in advance and frozen. Frost cakes the day before party. You can ask family mambers and friends to help. Your best friend can make the sausage balls, you sister the cakes etc.

Set up a Christmas tree and decorate with pictures of him from babyhood on interspersed with small American flags. (Yeah, he'll say, "Oh Mom!", but he will love the attention it gets.)

Put lots of balloons and flags and maybe yellow ribbons in the front and back yards.

I wouldn't spend a lot of time decorating for the holidays because most will get lost in the crowd. The tree will set mood.

Have name tags and have a friend stationed at the door to ask guests to put full name and relationship. (High school coach, favorite uncle etc.)

I love the idea about guests bringing letters. Save these to put into an album along with the party pictures to send later.

Some will want to bring gifts. Be sure they understand that he has to have certain items but is limited about personal items. Your son will have a list.

Since it is open house, maybe you sould include on the invitation what time you will be singing Happy Birthday and blowing out the candles.

I am assuming you plan to do this yourself. However, if you want someone to plan and cater it I have a recomendation. Just send me a private message. Ditto if you have any questions. I love to give parties!

Have fun!
D.

K.,

My brother is also leaving for Iraq in July..(July 13th)...my family is flying in from Florida and this will be the first time that the whole family has been together in years. On July 4th we are having a huge bbq to celebrate, not only the fact of July 4th, but the fact that our family is together, since we don't know when we will all be together again, it is going to be VERY patriotic! I ordered a bunch of patriotic items from "Oriental Trading Company" to do it up right! This is also a special time for my mom, since both of her kids will be together and all of her grandbabies! (my brother has a 8 month old) I'm planning on ordering a special cake as well. I really want to give him a great send off! I wish your son well. Good luck!

No ideas just wanted to say enjoy yourselves. My husband has been to Iraq twice. Thank your son for serving, he is in our prayers.