Neeting Motivation and Maybe a Walking Partner.

I am so sorry Suzi for your loss, I know well your pain. I lost my step sister, Suzi(her name also) when she was 51. She came home from work(late shift in nursing home), kissed hubby changed cloths, sat down to watch TV. That is where Tom found her the next morning.
I am so very sorry Sis, your in my thoughts and prayers.

Suzi, I think you found your own motivation with in your post. " I don't think I could forgive myself if I just suddenly checked out of this life while my family still needs me! And I could not live with myself if something like that happens to one of my beautiful daughters".

Read that again Suzi!! I don't remember where you live sis, but I know there are probably Malls close or in driving distant. Not sure with your Daycare schedule you would find the opportunity to actually go. There is always TIME, just not always Opportunity's. Try to Find it, take your precious 8 yr old with you and walk walk walk! Find a YMCA with discount or group rates and walk in the water if walking may bother your hips, legs or knees.
My Step Mama was always a heavy lady (I adored her, she passed in Aug 07) I never once looked at her with disgust at her size. She did the water walking to strengthen her legs and knees.

Suzi this is Your time to take care of YOU sis. If you like to dance do it! Turn off the TV for the little ones, put in a dance DVD and get with it. You would be amazed how much the little ones like it too. I have salsa dancing DVD, Belly dancing, and sweat-in to the Oldies. The boys love it to. I don't need to lose weight as much as I need to keep my muscles in shape. At 57, 58 in Aug, they tend to get a little lax.

I know you can do it Suzi!!!! Time to take care of YOU my dear!! We all here would be lost without your wisdom and insight.
God Bless you Suzi, I love ya girl
K. Nana of 5

Hi Suzi,
I'm sorry to hear about your step sister, and I'm also sorry to hear about your troubles. In regards to feeling lethargic, my thoughts are that it definately stems from exhaustion. The fact that you are not getting adequate sleep is the first problem that you need to address. If your mind and body do not get the proper amount of rest required, motivation and energy are non-existent. Especially when you are an active mother like yourself! Your mind and body are just drained all of the time that when you do have an extra minute out of the day, you just feel like doing absolutely nothing. My suggestion is to get a non adictive sleeping aid, or consult your pcp on something that will help you sleep properly through the night. Also, have you ever tried yoga? I get up every morning and put in my yoga dvd. The session lasts 20 minutes, and when I am finished I feel refreshed, energized, and ready for the day and anything it brings. This is a great way to lose weight w/out doing alot of strenuous workouts! Plus it is mentally stimulating. Another thing that would definately help your energy level is proper nutrition. Eating heavy foods will make you feel heavy, causing you to feel like your "dragging". Eating light will make you feel just that, "light". A healthy rested mind and body are the key to feeling motivated and energized. I hope this helps you out a bit, and I wish you the best of luck!!!

Suzy, First of all...my condolences on the lost of your step sister...I know what a blow this is to your entire family and I am so sorry for your loss.
Your concern over your weight and your desire to see your daughter lead a healthy life style may just be the good that comes from this tragic loss.
Could I direct you towards a website here online that was a great benefit to me and it is FREE!!! It is called Spark People...the web site is SparkPeople.com There are tens of thousands of men and woman on this site...from all over the US. You will find wonderful recipes, an easy way to log the calories that you consume each day, fantastic exercise tips and a journal to keep track of the exercise that you do each day. There are thousands and thousands of forums to choose from, where you will find support and friendship. I was a "success story" with them for a while...I lost 50 pounds a couple of years ago and felt SO much better...not only emotionally but physically. Unfortunately, I hit one of those dreaded plateaus, got discouraged and have managed to put almost all of that 50 lbs back on. I am in the mental process of getting myself psyched up to start all over again on a new journey!!
If you need someone to just talk to about it...please message me...I would be happy to be in email contact with you...and could maybe give you some hints and suggestions about how I started out on my weight loss adventure!!
God bless you Suzi...you CAN do this....you have the motivation, now all you need is the education to teach you how to go about learning a whole new lifestyle!!!
R. Ann

So sorry about your loss. It's so hard to have one die so very young. It's especially hard if you think it could have been a simple life change to prevent it.
For you I would strongly suggest that whatever plan or program you may use that you have an accountability partner. Someone you know and like and respects you and yet can get you to listen and get up and go. If you fail they are there to love you still and you will be more apt to get going and keep going. They need to check on you and go with you if necessary. But you are the one who has to do it. I see so many people just letting themselves get worse and worse. I think it takes a change of our minds and thoughts as much as anything.
I know if you are a believer is Jesus Christ you can take problems to him and leave them there. That often helps with sleeping too. The key is to leave issues with him and not think about them in the night. That may also help with your focus being more centered and not letting your mind wander. Then you could have more of a focus and desire to take care of yourself for you and for your family.
I hope you'll find a person to encourage you to make a plan and start on it. You'll feel so much better. And please try to change your thinking along with exercise because that's why so many get weight off and then it's back on. They think short term you need to think permanent long term. Motivation needs a plan to be excited about.

Try thinking of exercise as something you are doing for yourself not something you have to do. So much of your stress, sleep, and memory problems could be helped just by walking. I find the best motivation is my kids. I go to the YMCA every morning and my kids go to the play area. If I don't feel like going my kids are disappointed about not getting to go to the play area and it makes me go for them. Before I could afford the membership fee though I just put my work out clothes next to my bed everynight so I put them on as soon as I get up and I go for a walk first thing in the morning and I would set me alarm for a half hour earier. I know that if I just make it through that walk I will have so much more energy for the day. Also it is the only me time I get all day. Also after dinner my husband and I try to take a walk or bike together with the kids. We walk to a playground and let the kids play while we walk around the perimeter and talk to each other. It is our only chance to talk without interruptions.

hey i am a working mom of 2 got gifted weight watchers the week before easter it was a god send i am a very large lady who thought i wouldnt or could not change my bad eating habits that were rubbing off on my 10 yr old daughter wrong that plan makes so much sense to me i can say i lost 35 pounds in 12 weeks so i know how you feel i switched to diet pop and quit buying all the snacks and started using a lot of ground turkey in stead of hamburger more veggies it works the team at edwardsville 159 is great it is 10$ a week for a better you and 40 mins 1 time a week try it it works you and your family is worth it my blood presure is down and im not tired all the time anymore

Hi Suzi, Sorry I'm slow with this, but I've been out of town. I have been where you are and it's hard!! We started eating better at out house at New years. I was seeing my 7 1/2 year old gain wait and didn't want her to struggle through life with her weight like I did. We cut out the chips, Little Debbie Sancks and white breat. We just said to her our our younger daughter that we are going to eat better to make our hearts happy. We never mention weight. My kids now take things like carrot sticks, cucumber slices and bell pepper stipes in their lunch and so do I. Just make little changes for her. Explain healthy eating to her how it's just better for her heart. Now my oldest would rather have the veggies than the chips. It was hard at first but it's been worth it.

Make your health a priorty and not the weight. By eating better you'll loose weight. And for you just plan 20 min or 30 min a day of walking and if you can't always get out to walk get you some indoor walking tapes/DVDs and walk in your living room. I have sevral and they help me keep up with my walking. I'd also love to have a walking partner! I had one in my old neighborhood and it made walking so much easier. I can't help you there but if you just want an e-mail buddy to offer support let me know and I'd be happy to do that (but you have to give me some too!!!) So far I'm down 7 lbs and I'm working on the next 10 that I need to loose (I have about 15 or 20 more that I need to loose but I only work on 10 at a time). Good luck!!

Hi Suzi
I wish you and I lived close to each other so we could be walking partner :-). On my blood pressure check recently the nurse told me "Are you kidding me?" and tell me the number which is really really good. I know why. Months before this check up, I have been up and walked almost every day about 30 - 45 minutes. Eventhough I do not have a partner to walk with me, but when i got home I feel good. My energy is up, I think this is stress relieve too. Sorry, but best of all, no constipation LOL.

Anyway, there is all kind of thing to help us to be healthy like yoga, do gym, swiming, etc... To me,walking is the most practical and saving money anyone can do. I always remind myself: self discipline, a strong will, a desired to do what you really want to your health go all the way.

While walking, i wish I saw more and more people on the street walking. This also is a kind of motivation itself.

TV, internet,.. are so temptation. I still try to find way to catch up with all of the shows or information I want to see and learn. I do not know but the thought that I can sit and watch TV while thing is not done make me feel guilty and ashame. Except, when I feel down and lose hope I do not want to do anything but watch TV.

Whatever your schedule is, as long as you do not find yourself sitting too long. UP, UP AND UP. Move around like a dancer, you will feel much better. I wish you the best and good news come to you, Suzi. XOXO.

Suzi I read your profile info and the sleep issue and other symptoms sounds like you may have a hormonal imbalance. It can start in your 30's easy and sometimes even sooner. I'd recomend you checking online at www.womentowomen.com for info and locally Frank at The Medicine Shoppe his website is http://www.excelapothecary.com/

If you are not getting good sleep that will contribute to weight gain and of course loss of energy etc it will cause tons of health problems too.

Nutritional supplements have helped me get back to getting good sleep again & I can't tell you how much better I feel after going years without good rest and I'm working on getting my hormones back in balance too.

Good Luck!

L.

I have recently joined sparkpeople.com- it's a great site for healthy eating habits and exercise motivation. I would highly recommend it. If you decide to join,(it's free by the way) look for me. Im newbod4mom, and I'd love to be your "friend" and we can help motivate each other. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

I have a friend and Business Partner, who has the same problem! She has worked all her life, mostly as a Waitress, never had a serious weight problem until this past fall, winter and now Spring! She is over 200 lbs now and starting to develop congestive heart failure from inactivity! We have 2 computer concerns that keeps her at the Puter all day!

She does not sleep at night until she gets so sleep deprived she can't hold her eyes open! She and her husband cleaned her a Walking Trail on their property but it's too hot now to use it except early in the morning when she's asleep! Her Legs and Feet are starting to swell up all the time! I am afraid she will have a heart attack and she has two young kids! A boy in Kindergarten and a five yr old girl starting school this Fall! I SEE this happening to her and I ask that you do what ever it takes to get your weight down! Don't let this happen to you!

I'm sorry this turned into a novel! Hope it will give you some Motivation! Let me know!

B.

Hi Suzi, I'm sorry about your loss. I hate to exercise and I LOVE chocolate - LOVE it!!! I'm also an emotional eater. If I'm stressed or sad, I eat. It helped to identify when/why I was eating. I've gained a lot of weight and it's very hard to start, so I understand. Once, you start, I promise it get easier. I didn't jump into the deep end and get a gym membership. I volunteered to help coach my daughter's soccer team. I wasn't doing all of the work, but I was helping set up cones and kicking the ball...etc. It helped kickstart me. Instead of being the mom that sits & talks or reads - I helped. Good luck...

not sure where you live but also like to walk and need to be motivated to do it everyday when I don't have anyone to walk with.
I do recommend joining a community center with nice equipment, especially a treadmill as you will probably walk more if you aren't out in the heat. They usually have classes available for kids so your kids can be in a class or workout group while you are working out. Sometimes the kids classes are free if you are a member or some cost 1.00-3.00 per hour for members. Just depends on their ages and how much of the activities they can do.
The YMCA probably has the same type programs. I have learned that I won't work out consistantly at home but if I pay to use the community center I will feel obligated to get use out of it since I am paying for it so it motivates me to go more often, we did well while we were going but couldn't afford it anymore so quit going for a while and wasn't motivated to keep exercising although I do try to get out and go for walks at least a few times a week. We are going to start going to the center again and I am looking forward to getting involved more with the workout schedules and they just put in a pool so they now offer water aerobics which is a fun workout and looking forward to doing that workout.

If you do join something like this, you will probably meet other ladies and make some friends and start going to the same classes and work out together.

Suzi, I am so sorry for your lose. At this time of sadness for you, its going to be hard to get up and be motivated about exercising. I think you need to give yourself some time to heal before you will be motivated to make these life cahnges.
Also, it seems like you are a very busy person, it doesnt seem like you ever have time for yourself. I know you will say "I dont have the time" but you need to make the time. If your not healthy mentally, you wont be healthy physically, and since you have such a huge impact on your family, they will not be very healthy either if your not.
Go get a pedicure, go away for a weekend, go shopping, just get out the house and do something for yourself. You have no idea of how refreshing it is to get some time to yourself, and when you come back to all the tasks you have to do you will feel more energized to do it.
As far as feeling lethargic, I would see a doctor to see if you have any health problems that need to be addressed. Even seeing a therapist, or just talking to someone about your situation can help.
And as far as eating and your family, we dont have junk in the house, no actually my husband does, but my kids and I dont eat it. My daughter doesnt get junk, I have taught her very healthy eating habits. Junk food is a rare treat for her, not something that happens often. I know older kids its probably harder to control everything they eat, but chances are, if you dont have it in your house, the kids will get a lot less of it. These days I only buy necessary things at the grocery store. So if your kids complain, you can just say you dont have the money for it. My daughter is 4 and has never drank a soda, its unecessary.
I have joined weight watchers and have lost 26 lbs so far, all of my baby weight and then some. Life changes are very possible, but you have to be in the right frame of mind for it to work. So for your sake and the sake of your family I would work on that first. Dont feel so guilty, just try to change it. I know first hand its very hard. I often go to peoples get togethers and basically cannot eat anything there. It takes a lot of disipline and planning, but trust me, it is SO worth it being healthy for yourself and your family! Good luck Suzi and Im sorry you are going through all of this. Also, I know you are a Christian person, and if this is what you really want, God will help you through it!

I would love to help you out when I can. I currently live in Lee's Summit and teach yoga at Summit Fitness and am now a little over 4 mo pregnant. Would love to get together and walk etc if I am not at work. I work days FT M-F and am off most weekends. I am sorry to hear about your sister. Let me know if there is anything that I can do to help you out. Sleep is definitly important, that is why I love yoga, it relaxes you enough to wind down from the week. Feel free to give me a call at ###-###-####.

Hello Suzi,
First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you're going through right now. I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

As far as your health concerns...my advice would be to take it one day at a time and ease into life style changes. It makes a transition to better health so much more manageable and long term...not overwhelming.
Say for instance you want to get more exercise...don't think that you can easily go from no regimen to intense workouts everday...that is setting yourself up for failure. Instead, set a goal for every week. (i.e I'm going to walk the dog 3 times this week...even if I have to sit and rest for a bit when I'm out there doing it, I will do it 3 times) Take your daughter when you do it, too!
The next week could be 'I'm going to walk the dog 3 times and try not to rest (or rest as long)'
The next week 'I'm going to walk the dog 3 times w/o a rest"
Before you know it, you'll be picking up the pace and even adding length to your walks...maybe even adding more days you do it, if you can find time! The important thing here is to MAKE time for yourself. You seem to be giving a lot to everyone but YOU! Decide on a day and time (Mornings are good for exercise because it jump starts your day AND it's not as hot) and make an appointment with you! The world won't stop if chores aren't done!

I want to add about sleep (which exercise will help matters) is I find when I can't fall to sleep or back to sleep, it's usually when I have a lot on my mind. What helps is if focus on thinking about nothing! I close my eyes and think of the color black. I focus on it and let nothing else penetrate my thoughts. If I catch my mind wandering, I go back to thinking 'black'. I have to remind myself that any unresolved problem, worry, stress, etc. can't be resolved this very moment and the best I can do about the situation is to get a good night's sleep so I can have the needed rest to do something tomorrow. Don't get up and go to the computer!

One last thing, I think I've written you a book already...I'm just trying to help...is try to get support in any way possible. You have already done so by your request...Congratulations, you're already succeeding!...also ask your family to become involved...maybe create a challenge together and work together on your goals. Just by declaring that you are making time for exercise will create a mind set for you to get out there and do it.
HTH!
lb

wish we lived closer to each other because I hate walking by myself and can't walk by myself during the day due to not having anyone to watch my daughter. Sometimes I'll take her up to the little park but it has been so hot out that I worry about her getting to hot. I know what it is like I've always been bigger than others my age and i have a hard time making myself do anything including housework. I have 3 dogs and a cat and a 16 month old you'd think i'd get enough exercise.

as for your sleeping problems try taking either melatonin or valerian root they are all natural and will help you relax. for some people it knocks them out for the night. me it just relaxes my tense muscles so i can get more comfortable when i remember to take them. lol I hate pills so i convienently forget at times.

we all have our own issues to work through but sometimes an encouraging word make a world of difference. unfortunately not enough people do encourage others. so good luck and remember if you don't try to change now you may never change.

Where abouts do you live I need a walking partner. My motivation is down and midline growing instead of shrinking after my third son. He is now ten months and I weigh about what I did at delivery with my first two. Frustrating. I know healthier living... I need a partner for workout. R. of Lake Ozark MO

Hi Suzi, I hope your sadness and grief and getting better each day. I know how hard it is to lose someone you care about. I also know what it's like to realize the suddenness of wanting to change your life. My family and my husband's are overweight. I found Sparkpeople.com as well and would definitely suggest it. I started logging in all my food and began losing right away because I was eating too much and some of the wrong stuff. I then got motivated to take on challenges. I now have lost 52 lbs since last January and am more fit than I was when I was 16 years old!

You can do it. I love walking and do go to the Y sometimes, but mostly use the short (under 10 min.) videos on SP or my Wii. I have a 4 and 5 yr. old and some days it seems like there is no time to do anything, so I do some strength training so that way my muscles are helping me burn fat.

You can do it. Keep saying that to yourself and believe you deserve it and it you will find a way. I live in the Belleville/Swansea/Fairview/O'fallon area so if are close, maybe we can work something out.

Melanie

Suzi,
From my heart, I am very sorry for your lost.
Just take a little step at the time and just think that you do not want to feel a pain like this again. This is your motivation now, this is your reason to get up and do something. do not try to do a lot the first time, just start 10 min every day walking around in the early morning or late afternoon. It is not easy, but if you think of what you do not want for yourself or your loved ones, just get up and walk, eat more fruits and vegetables, lots of water (that will fill you up), keep these things handy not just in the refrigerator, on the table. do not buy sweets or fried stuff, just do not keep these things that you know will be dangerous for you.
Write your wishes down (losing weight, being healthy.....etc) and keep them under a lamp or something nice and give them a positive thought. Think of them, think of it as you CAN do it because you can. You can do everything you want, you just have to act on it.
Good luck.
Alejandra

I'm so sorry for your lose! It is never easy to loose a loved one but especially so young must be really hard. I have found over the years that until you figure out within yourself the reasons why you have the weight to begin with, it doesn't matter what diet you start, you will never successfully keep the weight off. In order to loose weight, you have to change your life style, not just your eating habits. I read a book recently called "Running With Angels" by Pamela Hansen that I really think would help you with your motivation problem. You should be able to get it from your local library. I know loosing weight is so much easier said then done! I am certainly not the weight that I would like to be. But with the proper mind set, anyone can do it. You just have to find what works for you. Videos that you can watch at home are great if you set a time for yourself everyday and stick too it. Make it just as much a part of your routine as brushing your teeth or taking a shower. Start small. Don't try to get in a full hour of intense exercise in right off the start. You will just make yourself sore and get discouraged. Get a couple hand weights and a mat and find something that you are comfortable doing. Check out exercise videos at your library so you can try them out before you buy one and so you can learn what you WILL do and what you won't. Make exercise fun and it won't be such a burden. Thanks for helping us all to find some motivation. Good luck!

Hi Suzi. I received your message, thank you for sharing your concern. I have a consulting practice that coaches about adopting a cleansing lifestyle of healthy clean foods, overcoming self-sabatage and unhealthy destructive food/emotional/mental habits. It is not anytype of herbal detox or MLM. I apologize I do not have my website up going yet, otherwise I would refer you - it should be up and going at the end of July. I will send you a link when it is done. If you would like more info in the meantime, please feel free to call me and I can share more details with you.
J.
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