Night Time Potty Training - Littleton,CO

The night time dryness is a matter of development. Out of my 4 children I had 2 that were dry at night right away and 2 that took a lot longer. In fact my 7 year old still wears pullups at night. (although this is frustrating to me) I know that whenever he doesn't have the pull up on I am washing sheets. I have tried taking the pull ups away. Going to the bathroom twice before bed limiting water, etc. None of it makes a difference for this child. My doctors say the same thing that it is a development issue and until he is ready to try alarms etc to wake him up that we just need to continue doing the pull ups, or be prepared to wash bedding everyday.

I know this is not good news but I will say my other daughter her issues were more off and on. She could stay dry for a week or so and then have several night accidents in a row. I have come to the conclusion that each child will learn on their own time table and you just do what is best for the child.

Good luck.

Dena,
I would just take away the pullups and put down a mattress protector. (If you're on a budget you can use garbage bags.) Yes, it means a little more work in the middle of the night, because you'll have to get up and changed the sheets and put them in the wash, but I guarantee that she won't like the feeling of being wet in bed. I'm not saying it will happen overnight, or even in 3-4 nights. Then, there's always those few that just have small bladders, and just have that issue being a part of their lives. I was like that, I wet the bed even when I was 9-10 years old. I just wouldn't or couldn't wake up. I did grow out of it though. It won't last forever.

Nighttime is much trickier, and often takes much longer than daytime. My son took almost 2 years longer! The deeper the sleep, the longer it takes. And this is not the same as the simple awareness they need in the day. I would give it more time, for sure. We did eventually try some tips from the Dr. such as waking him at night, etc. But ultimately, it took his brain and body adjusting and maturing on their own. When my son was in 5th grade, he still had several friends who had nighttime issues. This is more common with boys, but there are definitely plenty of girls as well. All this to say, don't worry about it. It IS normal. Just try some of the suggestions you see/hear about out there, be patient, and know that this too, shall pass!

I didn't read all your replies, but here's what worked for us when we were ready for undies at night (around age 3). We put our kids to bed at 7 or 8, letting them know that we will come and carry them to the potty in the middle of the night. Then when we're going to bed my husband or I would get the child out of bed, carry him/her to the potty and set him/her on it. Their bodies seem to know what to do. Usually if they go then, they can make it the rest of the night. It seemed to set up a pattern of dryness, and getting used to the feel of undies vs. pullups. Eventually (several months), their bladders were big enough to last the night (my sons), or they were able to wake up by themselves to go to the potty (my daughter usually gets up once still. she's 7). Of course, there are still occasional accidents, but fewer all the time. The youngest fought us the first night (he was half asleep!) but once I got him on the potty and held him there, singing/talking gently, he relaxed and went. After that, no problem.

I think their bodies know when they are in pull-ups, and their subconscious gives them permission to let it out! I know I was waiting for my daughter to be dry at naps before letting her nap in undies, and she never was dry until I let her (she asked). We started all this when my son flatly refused to put on a pull-up at night... while spending the night with my in-laws! Taking him for a late-night potty was our only compromise... and it worked. Half the time they seem to sleep right through it.
Good luck!

Hi Dena,

We had the same problem with our little girl. It REALLY worked for us to limit fluids, go potty before bed (which for her was 7:30) and then wake her up and take her to go potty again once my husband and I went to bed (around 10:30 or 11). We did this for a week or two and she finally was able to wake up on her own and go. Sometimes, if I thought 10:30 was too soon to wake her up, I would just try to wake her up between 1 and 2am. She is 3.5 and still wakes up in her own to go potty in the middle of the night. She must have a tiny bladder!

We have only had 1 or 2 accidents since then, but one of those times was when she was ill.

Hope this works for you!

Hi Dena. I had the same issue with my now 5 year old and 4 year old. Both were potty trained at 3 but were in pull ups at night. They never woke up in the night time to go and were always wet in the morning despite going potty right before bed and limiting liquids at night. I could not figure out how to "teach" them to wake up and go so I decided to just wait it out and at just before 4 years old for both of them they suddenly were dry in the morning in their pull ups. I think maybe they just get a big enough bladder that they can hold it longer....not sure but once that happened naturally I made sure they were dry for a week and then just changed to undies and we have never had an accident since. Don't pressure yourself. It makes no never mind and she will do it naturally when she can.

T.

I know it's hard to think of, but my son has been potty trained for three years now (during the day) and still has at least one accident a night! We do all of the things like limit his fluids at night and have him go before bed. We've tried sleeping in the same room as him and try to catch him if he starts to stir and have him try to go potty (which just made us lose sleep and he didn't go potty when we brought him - just at 3 in the morning when we were dead alseep from waking up so much - bad idea!) But anyway, our pediatrician told me that it is "within normal range" for them to have accidents at night until age 7, I think it was. Very discouraging to me. But every child is different - our oldest was totally trained day and night when he was 2 1/2 and our youngest was at just over 3. I would say stay with those pull ups to save your sanity until she is more "ready" to go without.
GL

Off the top of my head, I know of at least four 4-year olds who are still in pull-ups at night, so I've always gotten the impression (also from what I've read) that it takes much longer to potty-train at night (I have a two-year old who is potty-training right now). I even know an older-than-four-year-old who still wears pull-ups at night (a boy). Maybe I'm wrong, but I'd count your blessings for now and wait it out.

You've had some great advice. I just want to add, go ahead and try it BUT you have to be prepared for night, after night, after night of accidents. Do you really want to wash 1-2 sets of sheets every single day? If she really is a deep sleeper there may be no solution for it until she gets older.
And here's why: as our bodies mature our kidneys learn to stop producing urine at night and our bladders learn to just hold it. If your daughter isn't keeping her diaper dry at night at all then she isn't ready and all you'll do is stress her out about nightime training. But you know her best. If she's on board with trying then you should try, but be ready to go back to pull-ups at night.

With my son (he's 4 1/2 now) we just taught him that he has to take care of the pull-up in the morning. I don't deal with them at all (except to take the bag to the trash).

I never want to wake sleeping kids, but for my son we started waking him 20-30 min before his usual wake up time and it has worked about 50% of the time. He is getting up on his own in the middle of the night about three times a week now and waking up dry on those nights. Naps are at about 75% just on his own. We are not making a big push on this as he is so good durring the day and is trying. We get the pull ups that have the pictures that dissapeare when they are wet and he gets excited about the picture still being there. We tried to take the pull ups away and when he wet he was devistated and had a few accidents that day as well so we're letting him go at his own pace and it gets a little better each month.

definitely get the mattress protectors no matter what. we found it helpful to get our son up to go to the bathroom just before we went to bed. that was usually 2-4 hours after he had gone to bed. eventually he got up on his own to go and the times that we had to help him became less and less. if i could have kept him in pullups at night longer i would have. but he just decided one day that he was completely done with them so i ended up doing a lot more laundry for a while. that's why i say get the mattress protectors. you never know how a kid will react to potty training. good luck!

My DD is 5 1/2 and only stays dry maybe half the time. For a long while we kept her in undies and she would be fine for a month and then a month of going nearly every night. It finally occurred to me that: 1. I don't care that she's in a pull up. 2. It's more sanitary than constantly wetting the bed, even with a mattress cover 3. I hate doing laundry every day 4. Some kids really do take longer for night time training....and this is a kid who at age 3 walked downstairs and announced "no more diapers" and never had an accident, ever. She just can't waker herself up at night. GL!

We never did pull ups. Once they were ready to start night training we went straight from diapers to training pants at night. We got some plastic mattress covers (the fitted ones are easier to put on than the zipper ones & work just as well), slap a mattress pad over that (beach towels work while the mattress pad is in the wash, or check a thrift store for a spare mattress pad) & the sheets on that. If you think she's going in the pullups cuz she can, your probably right. A friend showed me the diaper liners at the store for heavier night wetters. I got a pack & discovered they're the same as the thick maxi pads. Got a box of Kotex next time, we called them potty pads (I have boys) & while they were still wet in the morning, it kept the mess down. I had easily 20 pairs of training pants so I wasn't washing the same couple of pairs constantly & 6 pairs of rubber pants (they can go in the washer but hang to dry). I used to wake my trainer up when I went to bed so they could potty again (be ready for tears for the midnight wakings though) & the first time she's dry, go buy some new pretty panties.

I personally wouldn't stress about this issue or focus on it. My older daughter wore pull ups to bed until she was 8...and I did stress at times. In doing research and talking to her pediatrician, I learned that it is very normal, and in fact 10% or more of 6 year olds struggle with night time dryness according to our doctor. In a few years if you get really desperate, you can look into some gadgets that help them with this, but my understanding is that some kids just need a lot more time to conquer nights.

Just wanted to tell you your three-year-old is well within the range of normal. If family members are suggesting otherwise, laugh it off or change the subject, and remind them how important it is for everyone in your family to get a good night's sleep.
You question struck a chord with me because last summer, my family puchased a Malem bedwetting alarm and we finally conquered my seven-year-old's nighttime wetting completely. I have read quite a bit about bedwetting as we struggled with wet sheets and discouragement, and I can tell you for sure it won't last forever, and it's not until after age 5 or even 6 that most pediatricians will suggest intervention (such as an alarm). Your daughter sounds healthy and normal.
The best book I read was called "Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness." I highly recommend it if you're feeling frustrated. I got it with the alarm and a couple of sheet overlays (such lifesavers, since you don't have to pull sheets off and re-make the bed in the middle of the night) from www.bedwettingstore.com, although I'm sure you could find it on Amazon. The progress chart in that book was immensely helpful.
You're dealing with primary enuresis (wets during sleep, has never been dry). This is developmentally normal. Secondary enuresis (was dry, suddenly wetting during sleep) is the red flag for a problem such as urinary tract or kidney infections.
Our pediatrician advised against limiting fluids--for primary enuresis it's not likely to make a big difference and being dehydrated is not the same as being continent, you know? Some children are more likely to stay dry when they avoid soda or dairy products. Also, some primary enuresis is caused by constipation--the theory is that an overfull colon presses and rubs against the bladder, desensitizing the child to the urge to urinate. (Usually you'd notice other symptoms, such as encompresis or stomach cramps, if this were the case.)
One thing that is very useful is double- or even triple-voiding before bed. Urinating at least twice right before bed (like, before and after you brush her teeth) can help the bladder get completely empty so there's not an immediate urine release while sleeping. Leaning forward slightly on the toilet also encourages complete bladder emptying.
My second son slept with a Pull-up until he was nearly 4, but gradually became drier and drier until he was dry overnight and would rush to the toilet in the morning like the rest of us. He did this on his own as his body matured and we offered no coercion or comment except to have him take care of the used Pull-up and cheer with him when the Pull-ups were dry.
With my two vastly different experiences, I can say for sure there is much value in keeping nighttime dryness issues from becoming an emotional stressor in your family. Children need good sleep to grow and be healthy and happy. If they feel responsible for "performing" a task while they sleep--one they are not even conscious of--then bedtime becomes stressful and loses the peaceful, reassuring tone it should have. You can experiment without using a Pull-up, but it is not like daytime toileting, and I suggest you avoid a "do or die" attitude. If she's not dry, then revert to Pull-ups until there's some consistent dryness and then experiment again. Waiting for developmental readiness is not the same as enabling laziness!
My sincerest best wishes to you and your family! :)

Hi Dena,
My son was the same way. He was fully potty trained during the day but at night he wanted a pull up just because that was the way it always was. We finally told him that they didn't make pull ups anymore and he had to wear his undies like a big boy. He was totally fine with that when showed him the empty pull up bag (we took them out and put them in the basement!). He has had very few accidents the first few nights but that's to be expected and they are few and far between. The first few nights you might want to have out extra pj's and sheets just in case. I found it faster and easier to change when they are already laid out. Good luck!

I haven't read the other responses, so maybe someone else said this, too, but I'd give it more time. We started potty training when my daughter was barely 3 and she did really well with it and I was worried about nights, too because she was never dry! She'll be 4 in May and about a month ago she said she didn't want to wear a diaper to bed. I told her she had to because otherwise her bed would get wet at night when she peed...she said she wouldn't pee. I told her when she could wake up with a dry diaper every night for a long time, she wouldn't need to wear one anymore. We left the diaper on for a week, and she was dry every night. So we stopped putting it on at night and we have only had one accident in a month! She just made the decision on her own. Good luck!

I'd give it a bit more time. When my 2nd son turned 3 I asked the same question. We decided to wait it out. It took him until almost 3 1/2. One thing we did was if he wasn't going to try, we gave him diapers. When he was ready to try we gave him Pullups. I think it took about 3 months then in the Pullups to get it. It was almost a year between potty training and night time training. Once he was ready to use underwear, he's only had one minor accident and that was at a nap that he didn't go to the bathroom first. 3 is still okay to struggle with that. Our doctor said each kid is different and there are things you can try to help them. He's never tried them, and we opted not to. His 5 yo still sleeps in Pullups although he's dry most of the time. If you want some tactics, I can tell you what he suggested, but like I said, I don't know anyone who has tried them.