Not Invited to the Birthday Party... Best Way to Handle?

If you are really upset about it then talk to her about it. For me, I would just let it go. I do not agree with inviting everyone or no one at all for birthday parties (like most schools make you do). I feel that there are times that you get invited and times that you don't.
My daughter had her birthday in March. I worked at the school she went to. She wanted to invite only certain girls (not everyone). My boss pulled me into her office and told me that I HAVE to invite everyone. My daughter was so upset because she had to invite kids that she didn't even get a long with. It was either that or my job. Thankfully I am not working there anymore (not for that reason) but at least now she is allowed to invite who she wants for next year.

I totally agree with WildSaltDoris. And I wouldn't invite her to anything goings forward. It'd be childish if you were going to try to take revenge or something. No. You're evaluating the situation. Just observe her going forward and treat her as she treats you. Sucks but not uncommon to meet rude people who are takers.

You are scorekeeping and that will lead to nothing but misery for you. Do not expect reciprocity from every child that your kid ever has at one of his parties. That is not how life works.

The proper thing to do in this scenario is to mind your own manners. Sending a gift with a passive-aggressive note is completely inappropriate.

What do I think? I think you are freaking out over something that you shouldn't be freaking out over.

1. your son is two.
2. she might be having a PRINCESS party for her daughter.
3. she might be having a make up party for her daughter.

If you want to chide or mock her and be thought of as an immature child - fine - drop a gift off. But really? You don't KNOW what's going on.

What does it MATTER than your son didn't get invited? Is he THAT special that he needs to be invited to EVERYTHING the group does? Or is it that YOU are that special and need to be invited to EVERYTHING the group does. Really. Take a step back here and read this like someone else had posted it. What would your response be? If it's "let's give a gift with a disguised snotty note!!"? You are a drama queen and aren't as important as you think you are.

Seriously. You are keeping score. AND you are holding grudges. Get over yourself.

Wanna be passive/aggressive? Okay - do this: "Jane, we heard about the party and even though we weren't invited, we wanted to drop this gift off for Joan. Happy Birthday"

Come on...get over it. Stuff happens. You won't be invited to everything and it's not all about you!

I get that you were put in a tough spot, but it was only one extra adult if you had invited her husband. If you didn't want the extra guests at your party, you should have been honest with her and told her sorry, we can't accommodate.

You are being judgmental by commenting about them mostly hanging at the food table. Some of us are introverts and go to kid parties for OUR kids, but socializing with people you don't know or hardly know is really, really anxiety provoking and just hard for a lot of people.

You are being judgmental by calling her gift "little" and coming with no gift receipt. 2 year olds don't even notice or care.

But OK you are human and venting is allowed. Many Moms would have felt a little weird by those things too.

Classiest thing for you to do now, say nothing. do nothing.

You are allowed to feel however you want.

I have learned we have no idea what goes on in other peoples homes and lives.

So we live our lives graciously and do OUR bests.
Some people are awkward about entertaining. They feel overwhelmed in social situations. They are not thinking about hurting anyone's feelings on purpose, they are just doing THEIR best.

Try not to take this personally, because I an sure she would be mortified to know you are upset with her. She has enough going on in her life than to be worried about plotting to hurt your feelings.

In the future, this is a good lesson for you to keep in mind. Be very careful about who you invite or do not invite. And if people have not responded to an invitation, you may need to check to make sure they actually received the invitation. Your invite may have been misplaced or lost.

For all you know, she asked to bring her "whole family" because mom and sis were visiting and are the kind who insist on being with her every minute of their visit or they get in a snit. Or they just wanted to see their niece/grandkid having fun at a party. The mom might have been squeamish about asking you if she could bring them, but she knew that they would kick up a fuss otherwise. Or her family is more casual than yours about kid parties.For all you know.

For all you know, the gift that didn't meet your standards is a result of the family not having much money or mom simply forgetting to get a gift. It can happen to anyone, and will surely happen to you someday in the future. Ditto the wrapping that wasn't good enough.

For all you know, she may have to limit the kids at her own child's party due to her finances, or the space available at their house. She may be scraping up all of their extra cash to have a party at all. And if she lives in what looks like a posh house to you, well, you do know that some people live in great-looking houses and are so "house poor" that they aren't as rich as their homes or cars make them appear?

For all you know, her toddler doesn't really get on great with yours in the mom's eyes. Or it's an all-girl party for whatever reason. Her call.

In other words, "for all you know" you know nothing about her circumstances, her family or her real situation. So why not take the gracious high road here and give her the benefit of the doubt? If she has always been nice around you and to you, why would you choose to do something as passive-aggressive as giving her child a gift just for the purpose of needling the mom? Sure, maybe she's just thoughtless. But who among us is perfectly thoughtful at all times? When you forget to buy a gift for a kid party until the last second, or have relatives in your hair and things to do - I hope you think more kindly of this mom.

Can you possibly step back from your hurt feelings --and the one hurt here is you, not your child, who is far too young to care -- and see that if you get this deep into score-keeping against other families, you are in for a long and lonely stretch all of your girl's childhood?

Sorry but you are over thinking it. Don't zing her. Let it go.

How about you forget all about the party and go do something fun with your child?
Zoo, playground, picnic, fall harvest festival - there's a lot to do if you look around.
Eventually we learn that not every kid gets invited to every party.
That's life!
Go out and make your own fun!

The best way to handle not being invited to a toddler's party is to jump for joy, and breathe a sigh of relief!! But seriously, I understand the sting that comes from being excluded socially. There are a thousand reasons why not everyone was invited to this little girl's birthday, most of them are not personal. Do something nice for yourself, acknowledge your feelings to yourself, and move on to tomorrow. Creating drama over this will only hurt you even more by jeopardizing the relationships you have been working on in your neighborhood group. These things happen when it comes to kids birthdays, making this a great opportunity to prepare for the next few years.

omg, really? drama for 2 year olds? 'trying not to be judgmental' but eagle-eyeing how much time they spent at the food table, and the wrapping job for a toddler present?
by all means, snark away. it'll make it crystal clear to the neighborhood and your fledgling little social group here just where you're coming from.
khairete
S.

Like I tell my own children (and have since they were very small) everyone can't get invited to every party. Even kids who came to yours might not invite you to theirs and that's okay, there are many reasons this could be. We don't think about it and we don't take it personally. I think it's fine to wish this child a happy birthday but making comments just to "make it clear" that you knew about a party you weren't invited to seems passive aggressive and petty. They KNOW they didn't invite you, why would you feel the need to point it out?
Maybe you need to think about that...if you are someone who needs to keep score and make others feel bad about the obvious well then maybe there is a reason people are distancing themselves.

Take the high road. Always. That means being a welcoming hostess and not keeping track of how many people came and what they ate. Don't judge other people for their economic situation - maybe all they could afford was a small toy and a recycled bag. Teach your son to be grateful for every little gift he gets, and not to treat a birthday, as some people do, as an opportunity to haul in a bunch of gifts with gift receipts so they can be traded in later for something really good. Parties are just that - celebrations of the birthday or other occasion. Gifts are nice for guests to bring, but they are not the admission fee for someone's attendance. So you did the right thing by sending a gracious thank you, and not implying that there was anything deficient in her gift. That's where you should have stopped.

So she asked to have her family members come - a little tacky but maybe they were visiting and she didn't want to choose between them and you, maybe she was a little uncomfortable and wanted familiar people with her since you would be busy with party stuff. Maybe she's just rude. It doesn't matter. You said "yes" and you don't get to exact payback, as if you were saying to her, "Well, okay, they can come, but I'm keeping track and you own me."

She had a party and didn't invite your two-year-old son? As other's have said, maybe it was a princess or fairy party and she thought it would be beyond him. I'm not into gender-specific parties, but some people are.
But you don't know the specifics. Maybe she just can't handle a big crowd and she's already got family who show up for everything.

Some of the other families were invited, but maybe not all. You don't know but you're already offended.

So you take the high road, as I said. Repeat that 10 times a day to yourself. No, you do NOT say that you know about the party. You don't send an email about something else and include a note about the party. I wouldn't send a gift - this mom probably already feels uncomfortable about not having everyone, so you don't rub it in by sending a gift. Again, if she has financial constraints, it may make her feel worse knowing that you have enough money to send gifts to everyone. Again, the children are TWO. There will be many, many parties in these children's futures, and not everyone will go to everything. Saying you know about the party is purely passive aggressive, or it will be seen that way. Don't give yourself a reputation for being ungrateful or someone who sticks the knife in and twists it. You don't respond to an insult (real or perceived) with another one.

You concentrate on teaching your son to see the positives in life and not to get miffed about every perceived slight.

Just respond to the mom's email and stick to that subject alone. That's all, nothing else. Show her that you are a mature person who doesn't judge her worth by how many two-year-old parties you get invited to.

The more classy a person you are, the more classy people you will attract.

Please resist the urge to send the passive aggressive card to a two year old you will look very petty. As far as your son's party, isn't the food table for guests? They were guests, you said they could come. It's quite possible the mother had plans with her family for the day. Yes, you ARE being judgmental.

Get some perspective that this is a two year old's party (maybe it is a girly themed party). But he is two....you have a LONG road ahead of you in the parenting department.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart!! You need to pick your battles, this shouldn't be one of them.

I would skip the note and the gift because it is clearly a passive aggressive gesture...
Having said that, I understand your frustration...this has happened on and off over the years with our neighbors and birthday parties. It is one of those annoying and sometimes infuriating aspects of growing up, although I think it bothered me more than my kid.
We had a neighbor who we ALWAYS invited and they rarely invited my daughter. We finally gave up and quit inviting her. It was very amusing because when we quit inviting her, the neighbor girl got furious and started being very mean to my kid.
I told my daughter that she is showing her true colors and she wasn't be a true friend.
They now rarely socialize and my kid (and I) have other friends we trust without all the drama.

While it's tempting to get someone told, I think in this case your venting here is the best solution. As others have stated, not really knowing her circumstances or reasons we can make assumptions but that's what they are. I would also err on the side of caution if you decide to say anything to her. I can guarantee it will be retold and more drama created.

I tell my kids all the time that they can't control what people say about them but the can live clearly in a way that speaks for them. I believe that whole heartedly. We moved to a small town after living in Dallas. There was a little girl who made it her goal in life to make my daughter miserable. Met her mom and she was just like her. Sad!

I hope you can get past this without letting it ruin your day. Take your son out and enjoy your time together. Make memories today. Don't allow anger to rob you of the joy before you.

Blessings!
L.

What's to "handle"?
You don't go.
If your motivated to buy the little birthday girl a gift just so you can make it clear you were excluded? Wow. That's super passive-aggressive. Why?

You might be hurt but it's no excuse for poor behavior.

O.,

ETA: Hurt feelings are understandable and part of life. Everyone has his/her feelings hurt at some time or another. What's important is that you learn to deal with your feelings and then move on. It's also an important skill to teach your son.

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ORIGINAL:

Let it go. Your little one is only two, and there are many more years ahead in the birthday party world. Learn to accept you won't be invited to everything, every time.

If you truly want to wish the little girl a happy birthday, do so genuinely and without mention of the birthday party. Otherwise, you sound passive-agressive and bitter.

Let go of expectations. It makes things a lot easier!

I think a ton of kids at a 3 yr old's birthday party is too many kids. Three kids would be a good number (the age of the child = the number of kids).

And I agree with the previous poster that if you want to give the child a gift, then do it with a generous heart and no passive-aggressiveness and no alternate meaning directed anywhere. Just give the girl a gift. The end.

If you do not feel inclined to give a gift to her then don't. In neither case should you mention the party you were not invited to attend. At all.

More than likely, if you give a gift, the mom will make some lame excuse as to why you weren't invited, or ask why you didn't come as if there were a mix up (I'm sure there's not, but she may think it looks better to give that impression or something), but do NOT give a gift with that expectation. I say this, only to let you be prepared for the response if you give a gift. Be sure to politely make no big deal out of it. Give the gift graciously, or not at all.

I say this bluntly, but honestly, please do not start a bunch of drama with your little neighborhood group of playmates. That is not how you want to live the next 16 (or more) years of your life... dealing with your kids(s) drama right in the neighborhood. There will be enough drama that THEY create on their own, without you parents leading the charge.

____
After your SWH, I think that sounds like a fine way to go. I would, however, caution against too much judgment regarding the "re-gifted" gift. It may seem disinterested and uncaring or whatever now, but as your child(ren) grow and you go through this process over and over and over again... you may develop a slightly different attitude towards gifts that weren't purchased with the recipient in particular mind at the time of purchase. MANY parents (okay, moms, b/c dads don't tend to be the default parent to handle this sort of thing) buy toys at the end of seasons when they go on sale and stash them away until a need arises. They are on hand, ready to go without a special trip to buy them, and at a discounted price bc you shopped ahead instead of at the time needed.
This may not have occurred to you yet. But when your 2 yr old is in elementary school and there is a party every month or multiple parties within a month several times a year, you might begin to see how this becomes a "thing" that parents do to be prepared. It doesn't mean that the parent doesn't care about your child or what they like, but rather that they are conscientious enough to know in advance that they will need gifts and they save themselves the stress of last minute shopping. Before you get judgmental about last minute-ness, be also forewarned that there will come a day when an invitation will turn up in the bottom of your child's backpack 2 days before the party. It happens. To pretty much everyone. Be prepared.
;)

Your son wasn't invited to a party. Believe it or not there will be many more parties and events that your son will not be invited to attend. While I understand you feel hurt by this please stop and let this go. No gift since you weren't invited. No card since you weren't invited. No email or call letting the mom know that you know about the party. Its not worth starting drama over something that silly.

Now that you know she's a taker you can decide to invite or not invite her to your next event. If she asks about bringing additional guests NO is a perfectly acceptable answer. Just because someone asks doesn't mean you have to agree.

That's pretty rude . I would consider myself lucky though . Do you really want to be friends with a whole group of takers ? Don't send a gift or a card . Don't bring it up . Just count your blessings you were raised right and have manners . Some people just don't get it .

You are not being petty, you are being honest about your feelings. It is unfair how some mothers here say to take the high road--but if they feel offended, then it is all out war.
This woman's actions:
1. She invited her family to dinner at your party.
2. She brought a cheap token gift although she brought 2 additional (non)guests. If a person does bring extra guests, then their gift should make up for that.
3. She asks of your party entertainment (shows that she has money as this is not an essential).
4. She does not invite you--yet she invited others from the group. At age 2, there are no gender rules for party invites.

So, do not give a gift, but yes find an opportunity to say that you hope the party was good. This will give her the opportunity to tell you why only some of the group was invited.

If the reason is valid to you, then you can move on--if the reason is not valid to you do not invite them to next years' birthday party or upcoming brunch.

This woman is a user. ETA: Happimom, that is a great suggestion.

It might be an oversight. Maybe she simply accidentally overlooked your family.

Even if it isn't - let it go. In the scheme of things that matter, a little kid's party doesn't. Go do something else fun with your kids, and don't invite her next year. But don't hold a grudge -- it's irrelevant.

No reason to be passive aggressive about things. No need to make sure she knows you know about the party. I am certain the party isn't some huge secret. There could be a million and one reasons under the sun why your son didn't get an invitation. She doesn't owe you an explanation, which is what you are fishing for. There are many more birthdays in your future. If you start score keeping with parties you setting yourself up for hurt, irritation and disappointment. Don't spend some much energy on this. It's one less errand for you to run. No presents to buy and no small talk to make up.

Do not give her a gift with a note like that attached. that is definitely not the best way to handle this situation. That makes you come off as petty and passive aggressive. If you are going to give a gift, give it with nothing but generosity and goodwill. Don't include a note meant to make them feel bad.

If you want to say something, say it outright to the mother, without involving the little girl. Chances are it's more the mother controlling the guest list. Maybe the party is very girly and they thought your son wouldn't enjoy it. Maybe they limited it to only 3-4 kids. Who knows....without any info about the party, it's kind of hard to say.

It sucks that they all came to your party and didn't invite you to theirs. I can understand why you're upset, but without a little more info (ages of kids, type of party, etc), it's kind of hard to say what's going on.

So, if you want to say something to the mom, go ahead. but do it assertively, don't be aggressive or passive aggressive.

I like that you provided the details. To me it helps paint the whole picture to see she invited others and that her gift was not what one would expect.

I'd be ticked too. But sometimes you just need to ignore stuff to be able to get along Web the rest of the group. I would skip the gift and move on. But now you know this about her and can adjust your expectations.

Updated

I like that you provided the details. To me it helps paint the whole picture to see she invited others and that her gift was not what one would expect.

I'd be ticked too. But sometimes you just need to ignore stuff to be able to get along Web the rest of the group. I would skip the gift and move on. But now you know this about her and can adjust your expectations.

Here's another possible thing. My husband gets really nervous around a lot of little kids. Therefore, he doesn't come with me to kids' parties (unless it's our nephews, then he feels obligated since it's family) and when we have birthday parties for our daughter (and starting next year our son as well) it's family only and the only other kids there are cousins. It's not because we want to slight anyone, but to make my husband more comfortable.

And, as others have said, she may be having a really girly party and not thought to invite any of the boys. It doesn't sound like she was deliberately trying to slight you, although I don't know for sure.

And it bothers you that she gave you a gift in a bag from another store? That's pretty petty. I keep all of the gift bags from Christmas and birthdays and reuse them. I haven't bought gift bags since the first baby shower for my daughter, and she's 7. If you're keeping score in a friendship, maybe it's not a real friendship.

Say nothing.

People are thoughtless assholes. Ignore with a smile.

Tacky, tacky but take the high road. I would be annoyed too. However, no good will come from you making a huge deal out of this. If you are on Facebook with those folks, I would wait for the pictures to be posted from the party. I would just make a comment that it looks like everyone had a great time...

Life's too short. Let it go.

I think your being petty. If they wanted you there then they would invite you. There are multiple reasons you do / don't invite someone to a party. Maybe she is not as close to you as you thought she was. Maybe she is broke and needed a place to eat that day. I would just let this go.

I think I would feel like you do. You were accommodating to this family and they didn't reciprocate. Sometimes things defy explanation. I would be ticked and a little hurt. I might ask the mom if she ended up using your recommended entertainment.

But after that, I would let it go. I would say happy birthday to this child at some point and let it go at that. I wouldn't buy a gift if I wasn't invited to the party.

If you wanted further discussion with the mom, just ask her if she ended up using your recommended entertainment.

This past year, my 9 year old was devastated when her BFF had a birthday party and didn't invite her. Well, come to find out, the child's father (who is estranged from the mother) organized the party, and didn't realize that not all of his daughter's friends went to her school. He sent her to school with invitations for all the girls in her class, but being that my daughter doesn't go to that school anymore, she didn't get an invitation. When she realized it was her BFF's birthday and she had not been invited to the party (which her friend had talked about with her), my daughter was crushed. We had no idea why she wouldn't have been invited. So, I called the child's mother (a friend of mine), and said, "DD has a gift for BFF. What would be a good time for her to bring it over this week? She wanted to wish BFF a very happy birthday!" The child's mother was horrified that DD hadn't been invited - I assured her it was fine, and although DD was disappointed, she didn't want her BFF to think she had forgotten her birthday. Basically, the whole thing was a misunderstanding, and had not been intentional.

So, I do think that if you see these people often, you should go ahead and buy a small gift. It's still a nice gesture to wish a child happy birthday, even if you're not invited to any festivities. Do not include a note that says anything other than happy birthday. Take the high road, and go with the assumption that the mom sent out evites and yours ended up in your spam folder or something. I'm sure she didn't mean to exclude you or your child. And your son is so young, he will certainly not know about the party if you don't tell him. (And even if you told him, he really wouldn't understand the drama, anyway!)

I would choose to think the best of the situation: Maybe she just could not invite many people and a few others were also excluded. Then let it go.

You really can't keep score when it comes to birthdays, I have three older kids and this happens all the time with people not being invited when they thought they should be....the healthiest thing to do is accept that "anything goes." and don't be upset.

You have a couple of red flags anyway that you guys don't see eye to eye on stuff. You feel people should not stay near food table too long, should not invite other guests, should always include gift receipt (I find gift receipts totally unnecessary and have never gotten any for my kids at their parties I don't think...) should bring right size gifts, should be in new wrapping or bag (I'm appalled at the packaging waste and would welcome roughly wrapped stuff and gifts are hard enough for people to afford much less the freaking gifts bags)...

You are entitled to all these views and she would have rubbed you the wrong way sooner or later, so don't feel bad if you guys taper off....just treat her equally to how she treats you going forward. Don't hold grudges. Don't mention the birthday unless you are sincere about wishing her child happy birthday, but not to "show you know you didn't get invited." Don't set high expectations for this person and you won't be disappointed. Don't say anything negative about her to other friends.

I have plenty of dodgy local acquaintances who I could talk about for their bad manners etc. Don't EVER make the mistake of sliding into gossip. It's a slippery slope to being miserable in your community. Let it go. Be the bigger person. It doesn't matter. Good job airing the problem on an anonymous forum!

I don't really enjoy spending my time going to kid's birthday parties, so if it were me, I'd be happy! Unless it is a very good friend, I often turn down a birthday party invite because we usually always have something going on during the weekend and to attend a party means we have to change our plans a bit or cram it in and feel rushed. I think you are over-thinking this and you should not worry about it. You don't need to be invited to every party. Sometimes people have a small party an invite over only the 3-4 very best friends. Sometimes it's only girls or only boys. If it were me, I would let this go. I would not give a gift and card with a passive aggressive remark. (And yes, I would also feel annoyed at her like you do. It's strange she invited two family members to your child's party and asked you for party advice...and then invited some other friends from your playgroup but not all. Good form would be to invite everyone from the playgroup. Some people are a bit tacky though. But I stand by my advice of...be happy you didn't have to spend your time going to a child's party on your weekend!)

I have a neighbor whose two kids are the same age as mine. she had a party one year and didn't invite my kids-no biggie (I assumed it was for family and close friends). the next year I had a bday for my 5 year old-she showed up with her kids and explained that she had to work. No prob. Free babysitter. I had to reprimand her son several times. They were still with us an hour after everyone left. They were getting into all tbe presents and ripped up some instructions etc. When mom did get back she sat in a patio chair and watched me clean. Still no biggie.
When her daughter had her sixth the following spring mine was not invited. It was a sleepover and several of their mutual friends attended. What a relief!! So glad I won't need to babysit her kids at our next party!!
And no, I don't buy gifts for kids whose parties were not invited to. Nor would I say anything. Upward and onward!

Your comments about the gift they gave and the food table make me feel like you don't really like her that much anyway, so what is the big deal. If she had invited all 5 of the other families from the neighborhood group, I could see being a little hurt, but it doesn't sound like thats the case. Definitely don't write that on the card, what would that accomplish?

I think your question is just fine the way you posed it. You are coming to a group of strangers to ask about your feelings. Different people have different opinions which is fine, (I haven't read the other posts yet, just your SWH) but I think what you said is valid as to why you're upset about your daughter not being invited.

I agree with your decision not to give their child a gift and not say anything.

BUT, I would not invite them next year to your son's party. I just would NOT.

It's a kiddie birthday party. Is it really worth the energy you're throwing at it?

I actually had a situation like this -twice. One to a child's birthday party and another to a wedding of a relative. In both cases an invitation was given to someone else who was supposed to pass it along to us and they didn't. The first, a children's birthday party was overlooked and I bumped into the mother who wanted to know what happened. I had no idea my son was invited. The other One grr was my mother in law who 'forgot' to give it to us. My husband thought there was nothing wrong with that. He figured she was trying to save us the expense of traveling out of town to go> (I would like to have decided that!). That relative was hurt. Well,my advise is yes, say or do something about it, so that the person knows you know.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Keep some distance from this family. Be cordial in the social setting, but make bonds with others. People have a lot of valid points, but you at the end of the day you & your family have to be happy. Unfortunately, you are getting an early taste of things to come. But while on the subject of additional guests, you may want to keep future parties very small or specifically state no siblings please on invites as well as once folks start having more than one kid I remember crowd control could quickly get out of hand. And don't be afraid to say no when people ask. I know it can be hard, but so is being a parent and you sound like you are doing a great job!

Let it go. I say that from my own personal experience. It's our "reaction" to feel hurt and want to say or do something. But, let it go. Ultimately, we aren't going to connect with everyone. What she did was strange, but not worthy of a response. I would still be nice to hear under all circumstances. It's just not worth your energy. Right?

Maybe she's having a princess party and only invited girls??

I would say happy birthday and not sure about bringing up the party.

Here are my thoughts:
1. Is it all girls? I find this excuse weird for a child that young. As they get older they want a mani/pedi or something ultra girly and all girls sleep over.
2. Could your invitation been "Lost in the mail" my husband was suppose to get an evite from someone and the host realized he was left off and 2 days before told him and added him. It also happened to a few people i know. The awkward part is finding out? You can't exactly say "Hey I never got the invite. Was I suppose to receive one or did you just not invite me?"