Pacifier or Thumb?

Updated on May 29, 2011
C.L. asks from Plano, TX
25 answers

I was determined to have my baby use a pacifier instead of his thumb because I'd be able to take it away more easily than his own finger...however, he's terrible with the pacifier. He loves it, but it falls out of his mouth all the time and someone always has to be around to put it back for him. He tries to pick it up and put it back in, but he's not that great with grasping and aim yet either (he's 14 weeks). So...I'm considering going to the other side and showing him his thumb. Pros and cons? Any tips on weening off the thumb later? Is it worse for his mouth?

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So What Happened?

I've tried lots of brands and the only one he's remotely interested in is the Avent Soothie like ge got from the hospital. I've definitely decided against trying to show him his thumb and I'm going to quit helping his paci back into his mouth as well and just see what happens. Thanks for all the feedback!

Featured Answers

A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

they don't have to have either of them--so i wouldn't try to force either on him. Neither of my kids were pacifier users or thumb suckers (2.5 years and 8 months old). that's the easiest way to go in the long run, you don't have to break them of anything!

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

I've had both- a thumb sucker and a paci lover. They each have their pros and cons. As far as getting the paci back in his mouth- he's still very young. It will probably be another month or so before he is successful with getting it back in his mouth. Give him some time!

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

I would try a different brand of paci. I literally had to try 6 different ones with my second one! He LOVED the Mam ones (they are kind of big but the nipple part is a little different than other pacis) and those were literally the only ones he would keep in. I would do that first before anything else. I would hate to have a thumb sucker though but that's just me, I know others loved their kids doing it. But the paci is easy to take away (my first gave his up at 9 months and my second at 19 months...) Good luck!

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

My oldest sucked her thumb and we still catch her doing it at night sometimes and she is going to be 8 next month. Breaking her habit was the worst thing ever and took forever, so I vowed to use the pacifier with the next one. Our second took the pacifier and loves it. She just turned 13 months and I am going to try to break her of the habit this long weekend. God help us through this time. I know it will be several nights of little or no sleep but I truly think the sooner the better because it will only get worse right?

I really prefer the pacifer as you can take it away from them, the thumb you cannot and it is really really hard to break that habit. We tried for years and was finally able to break it most of the time by the time she was five. It has created some problems with her teeth, and she would suck her thumb raw most of the time so it was just gross.

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

At 9 months my oldest found his thumb on his own, he is now 8 and still sucks it. He will need braces.he is incredibly buck toothed and has a large gap between his front teeth. You name it we have tried it. Bottom line you can take away a pacifier but you can't cut off a thumb. My now 2 year old traded her pacifier for her thumb all on her own and yes she is still sucking it now. We retired to discourage it when she first found it it was no use. If he is going to find it he will but for now I would stick with the pacifier.

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E.M.

answers from Dallas on

My oldest (4.5 yr old) sucked his thumb in the womb and wouldn't take a pacifier. I have never said anything to him or worried about his thumb sucking and he gradually weaned himself off from just thumb sucking while going to sleep to now he doesn't do it at all. My 2 year old sucks his middle two fingers, but just when he is tired in the car. It seems like his finger sucking habit is winding down. My youngest won't suck his fingers or a pacifier.

My advice is relax. If your baby needs the oral stimulation of fingers or pacifier to self-soothe, then whichever one he chooses is fine for him. I don't think you can teach finger sucking. Don't make quitting pacifier or finger sucking such a battle or control issue later on, it can backfire. Other good options for help self-soothing are soft blankets or lovey bears, my boys are partial to satin.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

my kids never went for the thumb, and if they did we gave them the pacifier. my third didn't like the paci at all and liked to suck on his dry bottle all night... go figure. but here is my take on the thumb... you can't take it away when you need to. I teach 3 yo kids and I find it to be such a germ thing, it just grosses me out. not only are they putting all the germs they just touched in their mouth they are putting all the germs that are in their mouth and touching everything, and that just grosses me out, it just screams GERMS!!!! (I know I'm probably a little overboard, but working with kids can really make you germ-aphobic). I always make the thumb suckers wash their hands when I them with their fingers in their mouth so I can cut back on the spread of germs on all the classroom toys.

that's just my opinion. at 14 weeks I wouldn't expect them to be able to put the pacifier back in their own mouth but as a parent you get to do that job, it won't last forever... pretty soon they will be 2 and want to do everything for them selves!

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C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Some kids just don't need/like either one. My older daughter was that way. She couldn't have cared less about the pacifier. She did, however, kind of fixate upon a stuffed animal. That was her source of comfort as soon as she was big enough to scoot over to it and pick it up.

I would definitely NOT try to get him to suck his thumb. As other moms have noted, you can't take it away later, and yes, it's bad for their teeth.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Don't force either of them on your child.

My first loved his pacifier but went cold turkey at 1 year.

My second hated the pacifier and never stuck his thumb in his mouth. It was great because we had nothing to wean off of.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

If he wants his thumb he'll find it on his own. I would see how your baby does without either the thumb or the paci. I have one who didn't use either one for comfort and a son who still sucks his thumb as night ( at almost 6 years old)... try using a stuffie for a comfort item instead, and if you find one he likes, buy several of them.

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

DON'T push the thumb. Boy oh boy will you have high orthidontist bills if he loves it for too long. When a child sucks a thumb they are pushing up and out on the roof of their mouth at the same time they are sucking which is pushing up and out on the top teeth. You are right about the passifier, you can take it away MUCH easier. Sure its a process and sucks but is done in just a couple days. My oldest was a binky boy and he LOVED it. We took it away when he was three and he has perfectly straight healthy teeth and he's seven now getting his adult teeth. My middle boy is a finger sucker (on his own I had no control over this one) he is 5.5 and STILL sucks them. I can't get him to stop. So far teeth are ok, just lost his first baby tooth so late bloomer in that area. No buck teeth though. I sucked my fingers for way too long and I never needed braces and have straight teeth.
Remember that it is only temporary that someone has to help him with putting it in his mouth. He will be able to it into his own mouth very very soon. My baby boy (almost 12 months) is a binky boy and he takes care of it on his own. He was able to do that at about 6-8 months. Get a binky clip if you don't already have one. They are great for when you are in the car or anywhere really. it won't fall on the ground or get thrown while driving etc. So in summary, the thumb is awfull to ween, you can't take it away and causes lots of damage.....the passifier sucks to ween off too but you just do it quick like a band aid and he'll learn to self sooth within 2-3 days. Every child is different but thats been my experince so far.

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T.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hi C. , I had 3 nephews who sucked their thumbs . It was very difficult to wean them and really affected their jows. Now their theeths are pushed forward. We tried everything with them but nothing worked. Aldo I have a very close friend who is in her thirty told me that she suck her thumb till today even after she got married and had kids. You do not want him to go through all of that all his life. Both pacifier and thumb are bad habits but you can deal with pacifier easily such as cutting nibble so it will be front of him but can not use so later he will not ask about it.
In my opinion try not to give him anything to become a bad habit later even if this will make you suffer for a while. Think always for long run not short run solutions .
Take care and good luck,

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D.E.

answers from Dallas on

My 8 month old is a thumb sucker and is a wonderful baby. Started sleeping through the night before she was 2 months old. I wouldn't stress over either one. Let them decide what they want. I am unlike most on here and am just fine with thumb sucking. I sucked mine until I was 5 or 6 and while I did have braces (back in th 1980's) I only had mine on for 1 year. I had better teeth then both my siblings who NEVER sucked their thumb. Not all children who suck their thumb/finger will have to have braces. My oldest took neither. Let your little man decide....

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

From a mom of a 4y that has sucked her thumb since the womb... don't do the thumb! Try and go cold turkey and show him other ways to soothe.

My son wouldn't take the pacifier either, and so I would gentle rock him/sway him to sleep.

M.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter would not suck a pacifier or her thumb, ever. I don't think you can make them do either.

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

I sucked my thumb until the summer before 8th grade. It's very hard to break. I remember being little and wanting to stop. I put hot sauce, nail bitter, all kinds of stuff on my thumb and I still sucked it. Needless to say, my kids are pacifier users. You can throw those away. Good Luck.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

My 4th is my only one who took a pacifier (no one took a paci or finger/thumb). It's not a problem at all. They get older and figure out how to put it back in. When it falls out when they are asleep, it's not a big deal. I would go for the paci because it IS easier to take away when it's time.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

There's no need to show him his thumb. As his coordination grows, he may find it himself. Or, if you are lucky, he'll just get better at using the paci. A paci habit is MUCH easier to break, so I'd keep trying the paci. But, it's not entirely in your control. I gave my fist son a paci, but he never liked it that much, and it never became a habit. I also gave my second son a paci, but as he got older, he rejected it for his thumb. Now we are trying to break that habit.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

My son was a thumb man since before he was born.
I swear I can see him sucking his thumb in a sonogram picture I have of him.
He would have nothing to do with a pacifier.
He'd spit them out and in went the thumb.
He and his thumb were best friends up through kindergarten (where they managed to scale it back to nap time only).
He finally gave it up altogether just before 1st grade.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with your original thought that it's easier to take away the pacifier. However, as you have noticed, it's hard for a baby to do their own pacifier for a while. I had 2 paci lovers and one that took nothing. It takes a while, but they do figure out how to put their pacifier in their mouth, and one trick we did was load the bed with paci's...basically, if they rolled over, they'd find a pacifier!

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M.A.

answers from Phoenix on

Pacifier only IMO. Our daughter used it untill she was 5yr BAD IDEA!!! but we could take it away where the thumb you can't. My friend did the thumb with her daughter and she is 11 and still sucks her thumb even in school.

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N.L.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter was obsessed with her pacifier...but she had a hard time using the ones with the "shaped" nipple. I gave her a MAM pacifier, and she was in heaven. She never really got into sucking her thumb/fingers.

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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

strangely enough, both my kids couldn't figure out the pacifier either (and I got desperate at times and tried)... my oldest never sucked her thumb either! My 6 month old is not sucking his thumb/fingers either, but will naw on his fist! What gives? All kids are so different. Do what works I suppose.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

No to the thumb, never.

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

They don't HAVE to have either. Neither of my kids used the pacifier much, maybe a little in the first few months, but that's it. They sucked on their hands some, that's normal, but they never really sucked their thumbs much.

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