Pending Appt. to Take Cats to the Vet for 'The Last Visit'

L. i would tell him now . this way he nows .death is a hard part od life with any thing.and tel him they went to cat heaven . just like ppl do .thats what i told me kids when my 16 yr old morris the cat pasted,, he will cry but hell be ok ,, good luck

This is a tough one, but I might not tell him in advance. That might be too much for him to process. I might have some special family time with the cats before you take them but not tell him that it will be the last time.

My parents put our family dog to rest when I was your son's age, and I remember it vividly. They told me after the fact. I think it would have been harder if I knew in advance. I might pick a quiet time when you know your son is best receptive and have a talk with him about what happened. There is a book called "Cat Heaven." Here is the link to Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Cat-Heaven-Cynthia-Rylant/dp/059010...

I send my sympathies out to you--this is always a tough thing to go through.

I took my cat in because I thought she was pregnant, here she had gotten some rare parasite and had to be put down that day. My son was 3 1/2 or so at the time and I told him after that the cat had died at the doctors. I didn't tell him it had run away because I figured that he would go outside and look for it everyday. I just said that the kitty was sick and that it died and that he wouldn't die when he got sick, but the cat was so sick. He cried a little bit and did bring up the cat every single day untill just recently. If he was sad about anything or mad about anything and you asked him why he would say "my little boy sparkey died". I'd have to say all in all it went pretty well. Now he thinks Sparkey is running around in heaven with great grandpap.

I don't think there is any easy way to do this, but I definatly don't regret telling him that the cat died. I feared more than that that he would look around for the kitty for years always thinking that she would re-appear.

I haven't had any real experience with this sort of thing yet. I guess I've been lucky in that respect, but I think it depends on what your religious beliefs are. If your son is being raised to believe in God, maybe you could tell him that the cats are old and very tired and are ready to go to heaven to be with God and to feel young again. Maybe if he understands that Heaven is a wonderful place for kitties to be young and playful again, it might soften things. Good Luck!

my cat was 17 when he passed on he was still eatting but his quilty of life wasnt so great he was deaf had night blindness was arthritic and was looseing weight and his hair even though he was eatting he collapsed a month before he passed after that you kinda knew he was going because he would ust lay around and when he finally did get up he would drag his feet all the way luckly he passed at 6 in the morning on new years day my kids were still in bed I sat with him while he took his last breaths my husband stood watch at the kids bedroom door just in case they woke up until I had him put in a box ready to be put in the ground sounds quick but we wanted to spare the kids the sight anyway my son was three at the time my daughter was about 12 months he didnt even ask where he went or why he wasnt around he still talks about him but never asks why hes not here kids tend to know that something happened he may not even ask where they went but it is a good opertunity to adopt a cat not a kitten kids at his age can be a bit rough on kittens and kittens will tend to use claws and teeth to show there unhappieness better when you go to the shelter ask the people there for an older pet that is good with kids it will help haveing another cat in the house for him to be destracted by that then no cats at all then he probably will ask where they are

All I can do is share my experience: My son was about 5 when he got a cat from the humane society for Christmas. He loved 'Buddy' cat and he was a crazy, funny, cat. Unfortunately, he got hit by a car on our road because he got out. Now, I thought the best thing to do was to tell him the truth.....I couldn't have been more wrong for MY kid. He is the sensitive type, although not shy, and he thought about that cat for months, years.....started asking a lot of questions about death, had nightmares

I wish I had just said the cat ran away and never came back. But we learn from our mistakes, I guess. I should tell you that we live on a farm and animals are born and die more often than at others' homes. I think the difference here was that this was 'his' cat and it was special to him.

I'm sorry for your loss--it will be hard.

I would let your son say goodbye. When i was five my cat was put to sleep and I still remember saying goodbye to him. I think this will help your son deal with death on a very elementary level. good luck and sorry to here about your loss.

We too had to take our cat to his "last visit". We knew it was coming for a while and finally broke down and decided it was time. He was suffering. We also lost my father-in-law recently, so we're very familiar with how to deal with the issue of death when it comes to explaining it and helping children deal.
We did tell the kids about our cat (at the time, they were about 4 and 6 yrs. old). We only told them a day or so ahead of time. This allowed them to sit and hold Bailey and spend that extra time with him to say goodbye. It's so hard for a child as young as 4 to understand that death is final - the kitty isn't coming back....ever (try to refrain from using the term "put to sleep" or "going to sleep" so that he doesn't confuse this with how he goes to sleep each night). It's important that you explain this to your son - in whatever terms you are comfortable with (whether you choose to tell them that he is in heaven, etc.). Explain to your son that the kitty's body is very, very, very (yes, really use lots of very's to help him understand) old and is just not working anymore. Tell him that kitty won't hurt anymore. He may react in many different ways - from no apparent reaction at all to complete sobbing. All are normal reactions, depending on the child. Allow him to express his grief if he chooses to. Tell him you're sad too. Allow him to see you express yourself when he does talk about it/cry about it. Talk about the fun times he had with kitty. Take your cues from him. If he wants to talk - OK. If he doesn't - OK too (unless you see that he is truly upset but won't express it......then try saying, "You seem sad/mad/etc. You can tell Mommy if you want to. It's OK to be sad/mad/etc."
Best of luck to you. I know how difficult this can be. Take care.
A.

Our cat was 20 years old when she was put down in November of 2005. My son was 15 at the time, so I had the cat longer than I had my children, but somewhere along the line, the cat "adopted" that particular child. He was really torn up. Of course, he was much older, and he was part of the entire process, went to the vet, and buried her in our yard, sobbing in the rain. I was so upset for him.
Now, my neighbor's little boy was 4 at the time. And he visited us often and really liked our sweet old cat, who was always happy to just lie still and let someone pet her. When he came to visit after the cat had died, my son simply said to her that she had gotten sick and died. They both went out to look at the little cat grave in the yard, and they had a quiet moment talking about the cat and dying.
I think that for a 4 year old, it might be best to tell him after the cats have been to the vet and put down. I don't think preparing him in advance will be so productive at that age. I'm not sure if he will understand what will happen at the vet's. Just a quiet conversation after the fact explaining that the cats were sick, very tired, and that they died. Answer questions honestly from there, short and simple.
This is always a hard one, but it is part of life. Good luck.

We had to elderly cats. One lived to be 17 the other 18. The eldest just died back in NOvember.

When the first one died she was your sons age. I told her about Rainbow Bridge:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

This poem helped her. She gets sad from time to time still but I am able to get her out of it by looking at pictures and talking about the happy times.

So my advice. Be honest. Let him cry. Then if he wants to talk about the cats-let him. Talk about all of the happy memories.

I am very sorry about your losses.
Hugs
J.

I guess everyone has their own opinion about this type of thing...depending on personal experiences. I would first make sure you have lots of pictures of the cats, with your son if possible, for happy memories to look back on. I would also lean towards telling him that they are sick and that the kitty doctor would like to put them to rest so they don't hurt anymore. I would allow him to say goodbye. If you are considering getting another cat, get one sooner rather than later, that should help with the sudden emptiness.

It's not easy, I wish you luck.

Hi L....
Although I am a new Mom and Cody is only 8 weeks, I too put my cat to rest 2 days after coming home from the hospital after having him. Josie was 14 1/2 and was not eating and was losing weight and could not have a proper bowel movement without the help of the Vet giving her a rectal. I feel your pain for your loss as before Cody was born she was my 'baby'. Personally I would explain to him exactly what is going on, in a way he can understand like "kitty Heaven." It will help him in the long run with dealing with a loss. Good luck and hope you and your family do well!