Pre K

Hello M.,
I am a mother of two beautiful kids, one is 24 years old son and one is 4 1/2 little girl. I didn't know until my son was 20 that he had ADHD and I believe my daughter has it too. They were total opposites though. My son was quiet and play nice with kids or without. My daughter is a fire ball of energy. Whe she doesn't know what to do she kicks the dogs or pours over a glass of water and touches whatever she know she is not supposed to do. My husband used to say a while back if she keeps getting into things she is not staying busy enough. Which was true. I had to plan more painting or puzzle times and play dough and she wants me with her constantly. I have started her on stuff from the Health food store and it helps them focus. I am not ready to have her tested and people tell me to watch the term ADHD because of the medicine they want to throw into your child. I'd rather do it the healthy way. Sugar is very, very bad for those kind of children. I try sugar free anything and lots of fruits and veggies and good proteins. She needs lots of sleep too. She had a TV in her room and would throw a fit when it was shut off at her set time. It took us two hours every night to get her to sleep and now without the TV she is more calm and easy at bedtime to deal with. I have gone to the Health food sites to try and help her that way. I don't know if this helps in anyway but good luck to you.
R. H.

I am also a single mom. My daughter is in kindergarten now and will be turning six in April. She had very little experience in a formal school/ daycare setting before entering Kindergarten. I had worked with her somewhat on letters and numbers etc. before she started school. But her teacher told me she was still behind the other students. My daughter was the only child out of 21 students to not go to preschool. She ended up taking some after school reading classes and is now in the top three readers in her class, she just one student of the month for "determination" for how much improvement she has shown. I say all of this only to encourage you to stick with pre-k. It will be well worth it in the long run. My daughters teacher recommended to me that I get more learning toys for her and "play" school at home with her and let her teach me what she learned that day every night. Then she gets to share her knowledge in a fun way.. she gets to be in charge for a while and it re-enforces the lessons she learned.

Also on a more personal note. I recently moved here from out of state and don't have many friends. I thought maybe since you were also a single mom and our daughters were so close in age maybe you would like to get them together for a play date sometime. Best of luck with your little princess :)

Hi M.. I dealt with this exact situation when my son started Kinder this year. When his teacher told me I asked her what I could do differently at home to help and she suggested using a chart. I went to a local school supplies store and bought a pre-made weekly chart and had it lamenated. I also bought dry erase markers, dinosaur stickers (his favorite), a few prizes and a big timer to hang on the wall. When I brought these items home I explained to him that he wasn't making good choices at school and at home because he isn't following/listening to directions and I told him how the chart would work. Everytime I asked him to do something it was written on the chart and he had a certain amount of time to complete it before his time ran out. If he didn't finish he would not get a sticker. He got the hang of it after awhile and loved getting the stickers. If he went a whole week with an average of 3 out of 5 or 4 out of 5 a day then he got a prize. I don't remeber how long we used this chart but it wasn't for long. I think it helped and that also he just grew into his own at school by interacting with other kids and seeing good behavior from them.

Dear M.,

No discipline needed. Play a game with her in your everyday life together. Like, tell her to put on a piece of clothing and then show you that she did it. Tell her that you will help if she needs it. Have her go to get something easy for you, and then you praise her and give her a bit of personal time. Things like that - she will get into the habit of paying attention to an adult's voice and responding to it. I used to tell the children to put on their coats and then come to show me how they look. Stuff like that. You can do it, no discipling needed, just training. O.K.? O.K. C. N.

My sister has a son that was diagnosed with an auditory learning disability. He had problems following instructions because what he heard did not always get to his brain the way the teacher said it. He has had to have special classes to help him learn how to deal with this disability. He is doing fine now in school. This may be a possibility for your child. Maybe she is paying attention but having trouble with how the information gets processed once she hears it. I wish you and your daughter the best of luck with this.

Look at: www.patsgarden.com - my mother works with 'flower essences' [not aromatherapy] but I believe she may be able to help. Its just a suggestion and it doesn't hurt to talk to her to see if she can help... the call is free! ###-###-#### Her name is Patricia and she has been helping children with everything from ADHD, ADD to numerous and various, mild to serious issues, including me, her daughter! I hope this helps...
Peace and Blessings,
J.

She may have an auditory processing disorder. Go on the internet and look at Tomatis listening therapy. It helps auditory processing disorders. My daughter had a dramatic improvement with this therapy. Dr. Deborah Swain runs several centers in CA. She is a speech therapist. Specially trained speech therapists can do the testing for auditory processing disorders. good luck.

MY DAUGHTER IS IN THE 1ST. GRADE NOW BUT WHEN SHE WAS IN K SHE JUST WOULD TAKE HER SWEET TIME TO DO EVERYTHING.THE TEACHER COMMENTED ON IT AS WELL.SHE ADVISED US TO GET A TIMER AND TO GIVE HER A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF MINS. TO COMPLETE EACH TASK.IT HELPS THEM WITH TIME CONCEPT AND HOW QUICK OR LONG SOMETHING TAKES.MY GIRL WAS EXCITED TO BEAT THE CLOCK.I MOSTLY USED IT WHEN SHE WOULD GET READY FOR SCHOOL.5 MINS. TO GET DRESSED THEN SO ON AND SO ON. IT ALSO MAY BE THAT SHE IS ADVANCED FOR PRE K AND IS BORED AND ZONES OUT TO HER OWN LITTLE WORLD....

Have you ever had her tested for add or adhd? That could also be a possability.

Hi, I have a son who is now going to be 10 in April. When he was in 2nd grade I too had this problem with him. I took him to the doctor and it was actually his nerves. I think it was a lack of interest in whatever it was that they were doing at that particular time. I do sometimes have a problem with it still from time to time, but I make it a point when asking him to do something I ask him to repeat what I just said, this way I know that he is understanding what I'm asking of him. This little system seemed to had worked out really well and even now sometimes I ask him to do something and once in awhile he will forget and come back and ask me to repeat what I said. You know when he was in pre-school he was doing it alot more, but I seen as he went to Kindergarden he was more excited and he was actually very interested in his new class. Maybe her class is not very intersting to her, I mean lets face it if you are asked to go to a play or the Opera and this is something not of your interest, would you really be paying any attention? I hope this helps you....Take Care and MANY BLESSING TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!

Hi M.. Have you tried to work with her at home? Maybe a little extra TLC would help her. A lot of kids have trouble in class. I'm not sure exactly what is going on but maybe the discipline isn't what she needs.
Good luck with this. Best Wishes, T.

Hi M.

I'm sure you've received tons of info but here's my two cents: it's NORMAL.

Pre-K is supposed to be the environment that prepares the child for Kindergarden... it is here that the child is introduced for the first time to sitting in a group and "following directions" which really means being told what to do regardless of if she feels like obeying. Pre K sets standards of behavior that are not always developmentally appropriate for ALL children. Some pre-Kers are ready for the "sit here and do this because I said it is time to sit here and do this" and some are not.

When is your daughter's birthday? If she is a young 5, birthday in the August-January range you might consider an extra year in pre K. My daughter had similiar problems (she is a November birthday) so we gave her a "grace year" and she is now performing WAY above grade level (she's in 5th grade reading and writing at high school level).

Something else to consider: does your daughter like her teacher? HOw does she get along with others in her class? Does she like the art and pre-reading that is introduced in pre-k? If she likes school but isn't clicking with the public school meat market approach to education check into Montesori schools or other schools that have a more organic flow, one that focuses on the child's developmental stage and encourages creative and independent thinking.

Not all kids fit into the generic mold of pre-k. Love your daughter and do some homework to check out what kind of school is right for HER.