Reading - Chicago,IL

Updated on November 20, 2012
J.G. asks from Chicago, IL
19 answers

I'm not sure how to ask this question. My daughter has been reading for a while, she had a bunch of site words for a long while, and then about 10 months ago she just started reading. She likes to read short readers before bed at night, but anything that is long she puts down after a couple of pages. Is this just because she is getting tired? She does do the same thing during the day too. I had thought she was intimidated by lots of words on a page, but she has moved past that. It's rather like she just can't fathom reading the whole thing, so she wants me to do it, even though she can read it. Does that make sense?

I never suggest that she reads, btw. I unschool, i.e. no curriculum, letting their interests and motivation guide us.

I'm just curious if reading is like running a marathon, is it something someone has to work up to in terms of time and length?

My daughter has an amazing memory and her comprehension is great.

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So What Happened?

I totally disagree with you Adamsmom. Yes, hard work is essential to success in this world (I have my Ph.D. I totally get this), but children do not need to "work." Kid's development is like a complicated computer program: when they are able, they do. Studies show that giving kids access to things, trying to teach them things, before they are physical capable does not give them any advantages. During twin studies in the 60s, the twins still did the same skills roughly at the same time, even if the one had "Training."

Pushing our kids does not work. American schools are failing because we don't get how motivation and interest and learning work together. My daughter chooses to read for over an hour every day. I don't suggest it, she just wants to do it. I think this is great, and me coaching her on reading is the last thing she needs. I have done nothing to help her with her reading, save for reading to her daily and providing her with a lovely library. I believe in buying early readers, and my daughter has access to tons of books she can sit and read when she wants. She will be 5 in March, btw, and she did start reading at 3. And all I did was get out of her way. This is an approach that works, it just seems so foreign to most of us.

Happymom. SERIOUSLY? I read to my daughter everyday. We've read almost all of the rainbow fairy series, and we've read a million other books. I read to her twice a day. Sometimes we read longer, some times we don't, but this isn't a cry for attention. You seriously need to learn how to read yourself, i.e. it involves not making bad inferences.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i wouldn't worry about it all. i don't think it's like running a marathon in that it doesn't progress smoothly like that, it goes in fits and starts, with some reversals. as an unschooler you're used to that anyway!
reading is something i've always been happy to indulge a child in. if she's happy to read a couple of pages on her own then wants to be read to, snuggle in and read to her! over time you'll find that if you are busy and can't indulge her right then, she'll be so into the story that she WILL pick it up and go on her own.
sounds to me as if you are already on the right track.
:) khairete
S.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

bigger books are intimidating.
Find smaller chapter books, ie Ivy and Bean , Magic Tree house, Thea Stilton.
Or find books with lots of different stories in them ( each chapter a different story) so she's not looking at that big thing thinking HOW AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS??? It's just one story at a time. My daughter used to think she had to read the whole chapter book in one night , not just a piece of the story.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

The schools that are failing are not "Our schools" Our children are given opportunities, prior to school. The children that have parents who work to survive are the ones that have very little time or access to the things we as parents have.. example access to a computer and internet. These children are way behind our children. Imagine the infants of today.. They are already ahead of our children because they have access to even more info, than our children did 20 years ago.

Our daughter (22) also knew how to read at 3 and we did not even realize it. She said she did not want to tell us because she was afraid that we would stop reading to her. Of course we told her we would never all stop reading to each other. We still do..

I read every book our daughter ever read up until 7th grade.we loved discussing them. Then she read so much, I could not keep up with her.

One thing I have learned is that EVERY child learns differently. We have to know our own child and allow the expert teachers to also use their skills to take our children even further. I did not study education.. but at our daughters elementary school.. Every teacher had at least a Masters in teaching with special studies and every one of them was trained to teach in the Gifted style. There were no "gifted classes" because every child deserved to be taught at a gifted level.

There are no limits for a child. But there are many, many teaching techniques that will allow a child to find new and optional ways to learn and explore.

I will never be able to thank each and every amazing teacher our daughter ever had. They are still a part of our lives because they are such an important part of her success. They had skills and experiences that unless you are in the "business" of education, we will not have the practical experience to do what they do, in partnership with us as parents being teachers.

Never Poo, Poo.. or underestimate a good school. Especially if you have never had a child go through a really good school and school community.
If you really feel like what you are doing for your child is working.. not sure why you asked a question about this reading issue.

I agree with Rae. She may get tired of reading. Some people can become fatigued by reading. Maybe it overwhelms her to see so many words she does not recognize. Do you 2 talk about what she just read after each page or after every 2 pages.

I used to ask our daughter. "What do you think will happen next?" or "Why do you think this character is doing this?"

Maybe she actually needs a Guide, like a ruler or piece of plain paper to hide the words under each sentence. It will help her eyes flow on that one sentence.

Also, have you had her eyes checked this last year? Let the Optometrist know she is beginning to read more and more..

We did not realize I needed glasses until I was in the 4th grade! I had no idea how much i needed glasses.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

ETA after 6 flowers and SWH. SERIOUSLY??? What an arrogant attitude you have to flame Happymom due to her response.

**********************************************************************

I would not push her.

Also, as an elementary substitute teacher for 10+ years... it is very important to share the read time. If you read to her, it is not because she is lazy or can't do it.... When you read to her you are helping her. We ALWAYS read to the class, usually a chapter book and we'll read a couple chapters a day.

If she feels pushed she may turn away from enjoying reading. Just have fun with it, make your own traditions with reading together. It also helps to keep your lines of communication very open with each other which will be vital when she is older.

Good luck.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

not sure how old your daughter is as you don't say. But early readers one of the things the school has them do is to read a page at a time then you read a page, then she reads a page then you read a page. also a previous poster suggested that she only do a chapter at a time. could just be that a book is overwhelming to her. or go with shorter books. the junie b jones books, horrible harry books, magic treehouse etc are short. she may like those.

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L.P.

answers from Tyler on

If she is overwhelmed or tired of reading after a few pages, why don't you sit with her and read out loud? That was one of my favorite times of the day with my girls when they were younger, and it also gave me the opportunity to talk about what we were reading together. Asking questions and discussing books increases comprehension skills. It doesn't need to be pushy, you are spending quality time together, no pressure at all.

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

Never make reading a chore or work in anyway at such a young age. All messages concerning reading should be loud an clear "reading is fun, we do it for pleasure". She is five and just discovering the wonders of reading to herself. It's exhausting to combine the mechanics with the comprehension when they are so little. She probably has just so much hard core focus in her and when that's exhausted she's just done for a while.

We would pass books back and forth at that age. It is really valuable for her to hear you read aloud the same book she is reading so she'll get the inflection and rhythm. Never stop reading aloud to her not matter how advanced she becomes, there is value in that time together that cannot be measured. You can always read aloud a little above her level so she increases her listening comprehension without having to struggle through the text.

I agree that you should never push, at 5 learning should be fun and self motivating. If you encourage that, as she ages she will WANT to work hard and take pleasure from reading and school. Slowly, as she ages school will require more time and more traditional "work" and hopefully by then she will be hooked on academics and learning.

If you can keep the fun and curiosity for learning going through grade school they are ready to take the reigns by middle school. If there is too much busy work and pushing prior to that many kids give up just when it starts to really matter.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

First, Laurie A: heartily agree with every word!

I love your approach of letting your child do what is engaging and interesting to them. At bedtime, even more so. Have you considered reading a story to her first? I do hear quite a lot about kids 'missing' having a reading time when their parents read to them. Those are also prime moments to introduce books that have a higher vocabulary level than the easy readers, etc. (My sister homeschools her three boys, ages 7,10 and nearly 12 and she reads something aloud to them for about 45 minutes each day as part of school. They love it.) At night, we read from an advanced chapter book for 20-30 minutes for our son, then he has 30-60 minutes (depending on school the next day) to stay up and look quietly at books. He loves this arrangement.

Before bed should be a time when she can choose something more relaxing. Perhaps 'longer' books have more text on the page, so it would actually be the equivalent of what she's getting in one Easy Reader. Perhaps there is so much text out of context (and think, books like Paddington Bear and others use colloquialisms we don't use in our common vernacular today--but still a great book), so many unfamiliar words that it is a struggle.

If you are seeing this during the day time (the very short time with books), ask her how her eyes feel. Watch for her rubbing one or the other of her eyes, excessive head tilt... my son was diagnosed with some 'eye function' issues this summer (ocular motor dysfunction and convergence insufficiency, mostly). He is in kindergarten and when he has to search his early reader for sight words to highlight, his eyes get fatigued easily. This isn't due to laziness, either-- we are working with an eye therapist and he does eye exercises every day. What we have found will help him is to have him work for 5 minutes or so on more intense work and then have him take a little break, usually to do something more gross motor/physical. He needs this; much as we wouldn't do a full workout without a few breaks to catch our breath. It's actually on his 504 plan that kids with his eye issues are very easily fatigued and NOT to confuse it with laziness. I see this when he's rubbing his eyes a lot, he'll actually cover up one eye to 'suppress' the image from it, so it's easier on his brain.

So, all that to say, yes, it may be that she needs to build up some reading 'endurance'. However, if you feel that she is displaying some of what I described, you can talk to your pediatrician and get a referral for an ophthalmologist to do a functional eye exam. (My son's med insurance does cover part of his eye therapy, once we blew through the deductible.)

Keep reading aloud what's engaging for both of you together, and I'd also suggest offering opportunities for her to write whenever possible. Thank you letters, notes to the friends/neighbors she likes, grocery lists, etc. I think the writing part sort of further 'cements' what she's learned through reading. And really, at bedtime.... I wouldn't worry too much. It's supposed to be a relaxing time... and you are a good mom for working like this.

And after reading your SWH: I agree with you philosophically in 'how kids learn'; I told my husband that if the local neighborhood school didn't work out, we'd homeschool too. (I'm a preschool teacher on hiatus, and I've been writing my own emergent curriculum lesson plans for years, so this was not a big jump for me.) If your girl is reading at this level at five, I wouldn't worry about it. My son is the same age and has about 5 or 6 sight words under his belt. I'm not worried, either. :)

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

My son also has a great memory (as he often will remind me of something I said :) and his comprehension is also good. While he does enjoy reading (in particular, his new passion are political books) the reading material needs to be something he enjoys. For example, someone recommended that book Nerd Camp and that it's suppose to be good for kids around age 9 and 10.. Well, he had no interest in reading it... Instead, he is reading FDR's New Deal........... who is this kid!! :)
Anyway, could be that in your daughter's case... she just prefers short stories.. nothing wrong with that. My son preferred that for awhile and only in the last year has he begun to read bigger books..
As long as she is comprehending that which she reads, then I think she is on the right track. A teacher once told us that all kids are different in terms of what they enjoy reading, but what's important is that they DO read... I wouldn't worry too much.

My best to you and your daughter..

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

my first thought (without knowing how old she is), is that she's doing what you taught her. if she isn't interested or naturally motivated, she doesn't do it.

it's our job as parents to teach them how to succeed in this world. one of the biggest most valuable lessons we can teach our children is the value of hard work. it's not just about doing what we are interested in, what moves us. it's about doing some things,simply because they are the right things to do.

i suggest that if you don't push her, she won't do it once it takes some effort and work. and i have never known anyone to succeed by taking the easy way out.

in fact i have seen temp after temp come through our office (over 100 in the last 12 months) with the attitude that if it isn't interesting, they don't need to do it. "work", to them, is something that should entertain them. not a place to get a job done and earn a paycheck in order to support their families.

you can disagree, i'm sure you will, but this is what i have seen in life. the fact is we can't raise kids to think the system should revolve around them. to succeed, they must learn how to work with the system. emphasis on the word WORK.

(once again i'll say i don't know how old she is. if you're talking about a 3 year old, fine, let's let her play and be a toddler as she should be. if you're talking about a 5 or 6 year old, see above)

***eta...
i knew we would disagree on this one :) i am speaking from what i have seen in the workforce; you are speaking from studies you have read. obviously, as accomplished as you are, you could have not gotten that far without some hard work, so that's awesome, your child can't help but pick up on that since you're her mom. i am also speaking from personal experience with my child, who is excelling and surpassing all expectations in kindergarten, but who we are now evaluating for possible adhd or other issue. he needs direction. his attention wanders and he gets frustrated if he can't "get it" right away. if i left it up to him, he would accomplish nothing. and, as i have mentioned, i see that in more people than not, in "adult life", as well. so that's where i'm coming from. i would be interested to see real-life examples of the type of philosophy you're raising your child with...just to see what the differences are once they reach adulthood.

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S.L.

answers from New York on

Do you know whether she understands what she reads?? Can she talk about it, compare it to other stories, tell you who was in the story and what her favorite part was? Many young children just say the words but do not understand what the story is about, and that is BORING. Let her read very short books and then have a fun conversation about it.
Also at age four she does not have the life experience to relate to books the way older children can. She has only been alive for a short time! She may be choosing books that reflect her life, her way of thinking, her attention span, it doesnt matter if she reads three short books instead of one longer one.
It really does sound like you are pushing her, as much as you protest you are not. She is four and you want her to read longer books than she is reading. You wonder why she wants you to read to her instead of reading them herself. That doesnt sound like a mom who's philosophy is hands off, stay back let her take the lead, that sounds like a mom who wants to brag that her kid is reading chapter books before her 5th birthday.

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R.A.

answers from Boston on

It's either that she has "tired" eyes, or if pages are too long, she just has trouble focusing and reading for the length that is on the page. My son gets intimidated if he sees a whole page of words and no pictures. I have to let him know that , although it looks to be alot, he can read it all.

He usually reads by time and not the length of the book. That way he isn't rushed to read the whole book, and takes his time. After 20 minutes, if he hasn't read the whole book, he know he can bookmark it and return to the page he was on last. No pressure.

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L.O.

answers from Chicago on

She's asking you to spend time with her. The "you read a page, I read a page method of learning to read isn't just a work philosophy, it's a family philosophy, and one I can get behind.

My son is seven, and CAN read large books. Do I push him to do so? No. Do I ask him if he wants to share reading time? Absolutely.

My Mother and I learned to read at the same time(She came here from Korea, and once she decided to stay, worked her arse off to be a citizen, learning at a blistering pace the language, government, economics, general laws). I was reading Beatrix Potter and Winnie the Pooh at 4, and reading J.R.R Tolkien at 6.
She ALWAYS read with me, and if she didn't understand some of the words, she dragged my Father into it. She NEVER forced me to do it(unless I was being lazy), but she always READ WITH ME whenever I asked.

This is primo bonding time Mama! Run with it! We always had family reading time at night when I was growing up. One hour on weekdays, and if we all took turns reading, three to four hours each day on a weekend.

While sometimes schedules and plans get in the way, I always read with my child, whenever asked, even if it means turning off the movie at the best part of it and putting the popcorn away for an hour, I do it.

BTW, working with him in this manner I can tell you that his reading and comprehension went from Kindergarten level at the beginning of the year to a second grade level--four months!

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

It could just be overwhelming to her. Try setting a short goal for her, such as one chapter, or stick to short books for now. Also, as another mentioned, check her comprehension. If she is just reading words without meaning it won't hold her interest.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would simply try books with really short chapters - so she can read a measurable chunk and then pick it up again tomorrow. Or what I do with my son sometimes is I read a page and then her reads a page. Reading is supposed to be fun - it is a doorway into new worlds. I would NEVER recommend doing anything that makes reading work for a child.

Good for you for unschooling. You might also try getting books on the topics she is interested in. My son will zoom through non-fiction books on animals and any aspect of biology but is much slower on stories - which right now are just not as interesting to him.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I really don't think it's like a marathon. I just think she may still like the concept of completing the entire book/story.

At a young age it's very important to make reading fun and for kids to read on a regular basis. So if reading before bedtime is her routine, then I would just let her to continue reading the short stories.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

With reading there are a couple important elements:

1) Having a "just right book" meaning that the reading level is not too easy and not too hard. Since you are unschooling the best way for you to judge that is to listen to her. If the book is not holding her interest then it is probably a bit too hard. Go with the flow and read to her whenever she asks. With a book at the limit of her reading level, reading to her is a great way to get her interested. Plus reading to her will really help her improve her vocabulary and pronounciation of more words.

2) You are correct that reading requires some "endurance" training like a marathon. My son's teachers talk a lot about reading endurance. During silent reading time each kid chooses a "just right" book based on there measured reading level. Then they all start reading at the same time. The teacher times it and as soon as the first kids start loosing attention on their book, the teacher calls time and that is the amount of endurance the class has. They track that with the kids throughout the year and have a goal they try to reach as a class. Of course, they have other reading times where kids with greater endurance have a chance to go longer.

Overall it sounds like she is on the right track.

On the side topic of the role of work in a child's life I always try to keep a balanced perspective. Work is something you are obligated to do whether or not you want to do it. Play is something you want to do not are not obligated to do. You can learn from both play and work experiences and children are especially good at learning from play experiences. But as they approach their teens it is important to have a framework in place so that they build their endurance for being able to work at a task even if they don't want to do it. But I say keep learning as playful as possible because you don't want a child to feel simply obligated to learn, you want them to crave learning for as much of their life as possible.

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

Seriously??? She is looking for alone time with her mom! Put down the babies and the computer and read to your daughter! It doesn't matter what she can read or how much she reads independently. She is clearly crying out for alone time with her mom! Every mom out there should be reading to their children, starting from birth. Take some time out of your busy schedules and read to your child. Reading time is true alone time. Just because you homeschool, doesn't mean your children are getting true individual alone time. Think about how much real one on one time you give her. If she wants you to read to her she just wants you to read to her! Stop trying to analyse everything.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I know I'm a bit late, but I agree with Momof2girls. She likes finishing the story so if she realizes she's not going to finish, she'd rather not read it.

My GD was 9 before she started liking chapter books. Until then, she wanted short stories that she could finish in one sitting.

Your child is very young. Congrats on teaching her to read so early!

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