School Absence Question

Tx is a VERY homeschool friendly state... Inform the principal that he is going, can she excuse it or would it be best to withdraw and re-enroll? I doubt they want to deal with the paperwork and hassle.

You don't have to go on this trip and you could likely hire someone to stay with your son so I'm not sure why it should be an excused absence. I think of the poor teachers. If all the kids did this, 25 or 30 weeks they'd have to prepare special lessons and catch up one child. And in fairness, if you're working, he will not being doing anything educational most likely. And this isn't a foreign city. Likely you will spend some of your days off at the beach. I get why you want to do it but I also wouldn't sugar coat it that it's so much better than learning math in class and/or it should be excused. This stuff puts burdens on already overburdened teachers but everyone thinks their case is special.

So while you are in this conference, who is going to watch your son?

4th grade is 9 or 10 - while Hawaii doesn't have an age limit to be left "home" alone - do you really expect him to stay in a hotel room all day while you are at your conference? Does the hotel offer baby sitting services? If so - how much? I'd have a hard time trusting someone I don't know.

Does the hotel have a children's program that week for other employees kids? I know when my husband went to Hawaii for a conference - the company set up excursions for spouses and children. Check into that. If not? Find someone you trust NOW and pay to have them come with you. Or ask your son's father to step up to the plate and take care of his son while you are away. I realize you're a single mom - but is dad not in the picture or his he in India?

I'm sorry you don't have anyone you trust your son with. That's a shame.

We travel extensively with work. I have 2 kids and we homeschool. Traveling is an education in and of itself. I understand the rules are in place to keep people from being dismissive about their child's education. I also think they've become pretty militant about it and wonder how much of that has to do with the funding they lose when a kid is absent.

You've been asked who will watch him while you're gone to conference. I'm thinking the hotel you're staying in, connected to the conference, is probably a top rated hotel. Those hotels usually have recommendations around childcare. If he's not been used to being left alone for short periods of time, you can start practicing this summer. I don't think 9 or10 is too young to go run a short errand and come home. That way you can gauge what you need to do to prepare him adequately.

Another thought, check with the school there and see if he can be a guest in their school. My niece, who teaches 4th grade, arranged for her son to attend school in Africa while he accompanied his dad on a mission trip there. She decided he was ok to miss 5 days of school in conjunction with spring break to do it. He had a wonderful time at their school and appreciated what he has in his school more. I supported her in that and her son didn't get behind. The lessons and memories he made with his dad are important too (in my opinion more so).

I lived in Spain and traveled home to spend Christmas with my sister by myself. Because lots of kids would take leaves to visit family, the teachers worked with us to make it happen. I had to have all my work completed and never had an issue. You have to be prepared if he needs you to work with him to help him stay ahead, you're ready.

Please feel free to pm me if you have questions about keeping your kiddo safe in a hotel setting. My family has been traveling for 15 years together and we've never had a single incident. My daughter had an incident at our church in our home town. So where you might think you're the safest, is not necessarily true.

Best to you and happy travels!

If you are on the fence about taking him, take me instead! :)

Seriously, when you look back on this in five or ten years, what is your heart going to tell you? Go, have fun with your boy. I think ones education is very important, that said, this isn't a vacation, Amanda. This is your WORK. Please go with your son, have a great time.

(I was born there are lived there until I was 6 and went back to visit my ohana from time to time. Still am wistful for Kalihi Valley and my grandmother's house, all the lush greenness and goodness. And the food! Even if we weren't homeschooling, I'd take my kid there in a heartbeat. )

Just take him. No college/job is going to say "we won't take you because you had some unexcused absences in 4th grade". Really. Do what you can to get them excused, but if you can't, just go.

And, IMO, he'll learn more on that trip than he will in a week of 4th grade.

ETA: big hotels usually have a kids club where kids can have supervised fun during the day.

Also, when we did this (and I pulled my kids for a full 2 weeks for Hawaii), I had my son write a daily journal. Just a few sentences of what he learned and his favorite thing every day. It increased the educational value and made a great keepsake - I put his entries into the photo album of the trip.

ETAA: Do look in the district policies to make sure you know what they are. In my district, when you get to 10 absences, you get an automatic letter home reminding you of the importance of school attendance. At 15 absences, you have to discuss it with the school principal. They only involve a truancy magistrate if after the meeting with the principal, the principal is concerned that there is a bigger issue regarding school absenteeism (eg, child behavioral issues, parental neglect, etc). The year we went to Hawaii, we got the letter, but it didn't bother me because I was expecting it and I knew the principal was just doing his job. So, I still say go, but know the rules just so you are not surprised.

Ok, this is getting long so I won't add more. As you can tell, I've done this many times (every year in fact). So if you have more questions or concerns, PM me...

It is a wonderful gift for your child. He will learn much about the state and its customs.

Do find out about who will watch him during the conference and make arrangements.

The reason schools do not want students to take off is that they count daily the number of children in a class and the state send them money. Every child that is not in class is deducted. I found this out when my daughter was in high school and they had a huge crack down on the number of days a child could be absent like 5 before it triggered the truancy office and such.

I also took my kids out of school for about three weeks when we came back home to the states for 30 days while we were in Germany. I teacher made a comment and I stated to him that it was my child and that said child would learn more from a trip home than what he taught. She did learn more about life in the America then being a military child and "sheltered" from every day life.

Do enjoy and do report back.

the other S.

ETA: I see some good points being brought to the question. Who will supervise him while you are in meetings? Will another adult be with you? Do we have the details?

Original:
I'm in Plano and PISD is strict. They are one of the top districts in the US and they didn't get on top by sliding things through.

Fourth grade is a big deal. The first few weeks are loaded with new concepts and a lot of work.

Check the Pisd.edu site to find out how many absences are allowed. When my daughter was in 10th grade, she was very sick and they threatened us with truancy court even though she had straight A's and I had Dr receipts and notes. You don't want to get yourself in a bind.

For me... It's a toss up. Can NO ONE care for him? Dad? Grandparents come visit?

I know it's a great opportunity and you are set with your choice but I'm a believer in vacations not being during the school year.

Best wishes to you and I know he'll have a lot of fun.

We've been to Hawaii a couple of times and we opted for the straight shot DFW to Maui around 530am for a long flight and on the return we left Maii about 10pm and slept all night on the way home. We also used Allen Limo for transportation which made getting in and out of DFW a breeze.

I have never been able to trust hotel babysitters. Your son is only in 4th grade, who is going to watch him while you are in the conference?

What I would do is find one of his friend's parents to take him Thursday and Friday and have your aunt and uncle pick him up Friday night and keep him until Sunday evening. Then find a different kid's parents, unless you just have some good friend that loves him, and have them keep him the full week. Aunt and uncle the next weekend until you get back.

I have had my kid's friends spend the week with me, it really wasn't a bother at all. Doesn't hurt to ask.

Oh had another thought, what about him staying with friends and then flying down Thursday for the vacation part of your trip. You have to pay for his ticket anyway so you can pick the dates. That way he isn't cooped up in a hotel room.

Go and take your son with you!! Schools get paid by the butt in the chair. They are so desperate for the cash they can get that they come up with everything under the sun to keep that butt in place. I wouldn't even care if you can't get the absences excused. In the grand scheme of life, it's really not the end all be all of importance. You can try again if you'd like but I wouldn't care personally. They said he could get his school work packet for the missed time so there is no missed learning and he'll get the chance to learn so much more from real life experiences. That they've added the option to add on a few more days shows that they know people will want to make a vacation out of this. Chances like this don't come about very day. Take it and enjoy!!
Growing up my parents would take us out of school an extra week or two to extend a school break or mid school year for something. We'd get our school packets for the time we'd be gone and work on them during travel time in the car or airplane or in the evenings after our day out was over. I look back far more fondly on those times and experiences with my family then I do sitting in the classroom all those long hours.

Here people take their kids on vacation to avoid peak-times quite often. For a school week.

They don't tend to do that as much once they hit middle school, but in elementary school my kids would tell me that so-and-so was away at Disney or Caribbean etc. and it wasn't during school break.

I would look into it more just to make sure you don't get penalized somehow for doing this. Other people must do this. Remember, they will tell you what the rule is because that's their job. Do you know anyone else who has done this? Ask them how they went about it.

It sounds like a wonderful opportunity. And I understand your need to go for your career. So I think that part is a no-brainer. If I had turned down an opportunity like that at work because of my children, I know it would have been looked down on - and I had a company who was pro- work/life balance - still, these things are noted. So I get it.

My question is - who will supervise your child at the pool or beach etc. when you are there? My friend did this and took her older step-daughter to watch her younger child. Just a thought.

I think it will be a wonderful experience for you both. Just make sure you look into it more and cover anything you need to - with the school :)

ETA: Just read that responses where there are kids' clubs, etc. at most major hotels. So that's something I would look into and if that would appeal to your child.

That is really strange. We have a district wide 'educational trip request form' that we can fill out for any trips. I have never had one not approved. I take a work trip which always works out to be the last week of school and we take a trip in September every year for DH's birthday. We have 'studied the gulf coast ecosystems', observed wild birds in their natural habitats, visited Native American museums, modern art museums, national monuments and numerous zoos and aquariums. I am surprised your district has no formal procedure. We always do the educational things we state we will.

Now - I would emphasize the educational merits of a trip to Hawaii and there are many. Your child will learn about coral reefs, Pacific ecosystems and the indigenous people of Hawaii. It is in fact a great opportunity.

ETA - There are companies that do childcare specifically for conferences. Kiddie Corp is one that does an annual meeting I attend. As far as I can see they will go anywhere. There are other companies as well - perhaps the poster's meeting has available childcare. One year when there was no meeting childcare, we used a nanny service recommended by the hotel. It worked out fine. We have also stayed at hotels/resorts that had a separate kids program during the day (some also offered an evening option/parents night out). My son had a great time at one of these.

OK...these are the questions/issues that went thru my head while reading your post:
1)Who is going to watch your son while you are in the conference?

2) I would find out how many unexcused days the school district allows before it seriously impacts him. In our district, excused days involve deaths in the family w/ a note from the parent and medical appointments with a doctor's note upon return and illness, also with a doctor's note

I don't even know how you can be second guessing this. A trip to Hawaii??? GO!!!!!
Too many people think the school is the parent. YOU are the parent. You will give your son memories for a lifetime by taking him to Hawaii. What will he remember from "that week in 4th grade" when he's 20? Not. One. Thing. Go, enjoy have fun. Take lots of pics, put a great scrapbook together. Precious, precious memories.

I would say that's fine and let the absence be unexcused. Unexcused absences mean nothing to me. Have a fabulous time!!!

There is absoultely no chance your son would remember what he did in school those days in September (and in 4th grade) but he will have a life time memory of your trip to Hawaii. Enjoy!!!

Also, I think it is a shame the principal gave you a little bit of a hard time about this. Perhaps he/she is jealous!!!😉

Take him! What a great experience! In the grand scheme of things, it won't matter one bit that he has "unexcused absences"! No one cares, it won't affect his record, etc. The principal HAS to take that position because otherwise everyone would take their kids out for vacations in non-peak times, and teachers would go nuts trying to prepare work packets for everyone. I wouldn't waste one minute appealing the decision - not worth your time and it likely won't change anything anyway.

I'd take a few books along with you, but be careful about loading yourselves up with a lot of weight. Then let him work ahead at his own pace, and try not to bug the teachers too much about what your son has to do. I'm sure he'll catch up.

Just be sure you have plenty of supervision for him and strict rules about what he's allowed to do and where he's allowed to go at the hotel. I'd consider getting a cheap pre-paid cell phone so you have a way to contact your son while you are in meetings/seminars or whatever you are doing.

Schools are really cracking down on the absenteeism.
There really are way too many kids who waltz in and out of class and it makes it hard to keep the class together on what they are learning.
Who will watch your child while on travel while you're conferencing?
Are you going to leave him alone in the hotel room while you're working or does the hotel have a baby sitter or day camp he can be in?
I wouldn't feel he was safe by himself and I couldn't concentrate on the conference while worrying about him.
I guess it's better he do this now in elementary school (under 2nd grade would have been better - because 4th grade starts ramping up the work more so than the lower grades) because he wouldn't be able to manage it in middle or high school - there's just too much work he'd miss and have to make up.
If it were me I wouldn't have done the conference and I'd have put off anything that was optional until my kid graduates and is in college.
We take our vacations when school is closed. Period.
We've never felt this was a burden.
I know you don't want to hear it - you've gone to great lengths to justify pulling him out for a conference/vacation.
This is why some people feel a bit 'tied down' when they are raising kids.
School has to be a priority - and more schools are demanding it be made a priority.

You can see by the prevalent attitude of the comments right here exactly why schools have to come down on this.

Does your son not have any friends? Why can't he stay with friends?

You take your son with you to Hawaii, what are you going to do with him during the day? Have you thought about that? You seem to be stuck on school absence but not about WHO will take care of your son. He's not going to be allowed to sit in the conference room with you, will he? So he will be where? Doing what? THAT's what you need to think about.

You need to start reaching out to your son's friends parents and see if they can accommodate you.

If that doesn't pan out for you, start looking at Care.com and building a relationship there so you can have someone you trust care for your son while you are away.

If the principal said he could request the work from his teacher, what does an unexcused absence even mean?

I don't remember much about my grade school's (K-8) attendance policy. In high school an unexcused absence meant you would receive a 0 for any work done that day, which could affect your GPA. A high school GPA matters when applying for colleges and scholarships, but does a grade school GPA (exist?) really matter?

Our school district doesn't do letter grades until 6th grade, so it would be irrelevant to my family.

Oh what fun. Go take your son. He will be fine and school will be fine too.

As a parent of a teen, I say, go and take him. Very soon -- when he hits middle school -- it will be very difficult for him to miss a week of classroom instructional time; it matters less in fourth grade, so take advantage of this opportunity. If this were happening and he was about to start a middle or high school year, it wouldn't be advisable, but now -- you can do this.

The only thing I'd check would be: What is the total number of unexcused absence days that a child in your school system can have before it triggers queries from the school administration? Most systems must involve someone like a counselor or truancy officer (yes, they do still exist) after a certain number of absences. I doubt that would really happen in this case -- seven days actually is not that much, and the school knows what the cicrumstances are; just be aware that it could be a problem later if he has any additional unexcused absences (and I'm sure he won't -- you're going to ensure they're all excused if he needs to be out for sickness etc.). Just know the policy.

The principal is only following the procedures required of her and probably has no personal leeway to make an exception for your son. I would not push the issue with her.

Unfortunately this is a thing where it would have probably been better to prepare a little lie rather than go with the truth... But since that is hindsight, go. If they want him to go to summer school to make it up--it is worth it.

ETA: I agree with the mama who said that the principal HAD to say what she/he said. Unless you have a great private relationship with her/him, this covered her/his tracks.

However, SMART MAMA that I hope you are--Bring the Teacher and the Principal GREAT souvenirs--not just a magnet but a large tub of chocolate covered Macadamia nuts. THAT will be your best insurance of this long absence being forgotten... lol

Go and take him. Ask for clarification as to WHY the principal is considering them unexcused. You have a business trip, and you don't have local childcare. He's not old enough to stay home by himself. There are no local options. You don't have the childcare. Check with the School District re. policy and number of unexcused days. I think it's a problem if it's over 14 days.

Push the issue. This is elementary school. This is an amazing opportunity for both of you. It sounds like the principal hands are kind of tied by policy. But she/he did give you the possible leeway available information. Appeal to your "unusual circumstances" This isn't a family trying to go to Disney during off peak to avoid lines. This is something important for your career. I hope you go, and take him!

It depends on your school's policy, as well as how many unexcused absences he may already have. My daughter's school only allows for 10 unexcused absences before her enrollment for the next school year is jeopardized. Unexcused absence means the child missed school and has no doctor's note to justify missing school, or a death certificate, assuming the child had to attend a funeral, everything else is pretty much considered unexcused. Other schools may have harsher or more relaxed policies when it comes to this. If his enrollment or graduation is not in jeopardy and this is the first time you pull him out of school, then heck, by all means, go! He will have a blast.

GO!!!

We take our kids out of school usually one week per year for vacation. We did not this year because our budget didn't allow for it, but we find their travels to be so much more beneficial to their development, in small doses, than sitting in a class room for 180 days. I know that's not the popular answer, but it's mine. When we travel, we do a lot of history and culture tours...we don't watch TV the whole time. My kids learned more visiting battle fields and the rain forest in San Juan than they would have reading a book in class. They read plenty on vacation as well. Plus they do journals with pictures and research of their week.

If you want it to be excused, you'll need to come up with a clever reason. I use one that isn't something I like to use, but it works. So it is what it is.

You could appeal to the school board or superintendent of schools, but my experience is they usually agree with the Principal.
I say GO - have fun - take lots of pictures - make a video - pickup souvenirs. Maybe your son can do a project or give a talk on his vacation.

Goodness, I'd take him and have the teachers prepare him some lessons on the state and he can implement these into his visit. What an opportunity he will have.

All in all, you are his mother and you can pretty much do what you want. If you want to call the state department of education and ask them about this then that's an option. If it were me I'd simply let his teacher know you're going out of state that week and he will need some fun things to do. He can read a book, do a book report, learn about their native culture and go to a luau while he's there and report on it when he goes back. If the teacher says no then let the teacher know that he'll be gone anyway.

I do have to say though, Texas is one of those states that have some odd laws. They were purchased and some of their base laws are from that time period. They've been updated but sometimes there is some odd things they have

Take him. Travel is such an educational experience. Just make sure his work is done and maybe have him write what he did and saw while there. Life is too short to miss a great opportunity like this. Enjoy!

If you really want to push the issue or are concerned about the absences, our school does vacation requests, so maybe you will be able to see if your school does too? We have to fill out papers explaining the vacation a d the days missed. Then, our district has to approve/deny the request. Once its approved, it will be sent to the teachers and our teachers get all the work the kids will miss. It does have to be turned into the teachers the day they return, so we always broke it down and make them do a little each day. I wouldn't not go just because the school says he won't be excused. I think in our district you can have 10 unexcused days before you have to have a doctor excuse to return. So as long as he doesn't miss all the time, I wouldn't worry about it! Have fun!!!

I think that if your son is generally a good student, that missing school at this age won't be a huge deal. Of course, missing school at the beginning of the year can make it more difficult for some kids to catch up, but if he diligently requests work to take along, and diligently does the work while you're in conferences during the day, then he might be fine.

Just remember, it's a long long flight. From LAX it's about 6 hours. If you fly directly from Texas, like from Dallas Fort Worth, it's about 8 hours, and Hawaii is a couple of time zones away, so factor that in when you plan for him to return to school. Jet lag and tiredness from such a long travel day may mean he can't just bounce back to school the day after you return home. Ask how many unexcused days each student is permitted per year.

But if he's a good traveler, and a good student, then it sounds like a great adventure for the 2 of you!

After reading your SWH, take your son with you, tell the school they can deal, and take him on an adventure! My guess is that he will get way more education going with you than he will miss in those 8 or 9 days he misses of school. The major concepts he misses may be a little hard to deal with for a bit, but if you go into it knowing that,then I don't see any problems. I see this from the parent point of view, which says its a chance of a lifetime to go and do this, and I get to know where my kid is! I see it from a kid point of view, I get to go learn stuff about another place and get to skip school (not really though, because they have school type activities there), and from a teacher's view, this is something that I can't teach him in the classroom. If he was in high school, and this stuff really mattered, that would be a different discussion, but its not even middle school.