Seeking Moms Why Went Througth "Empty Nest Syndrome" and "Middle Life Crisis"

Updated on March 05, 2010
I.K. asks from Palatine, IL
4 answers

I am looking for a connection with women for an advice on how to find yourself after raising a child. I am 40 and didnt grow up in USA , so i have a very difficult time to find a support group or things to do after i sent my child to college. I find myself being very lonely with nowhere to go. The evenings and the weekens are the worse. I understand its normal cycle of life. I would like to meet with women and be active, but i dont know how to do it. I am trying very much to beat the deppression and looking for a help from other women.
I would appriciate any advice or information i can receive.

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi I.
I have 2 sons in college and a daughter in her last year of high school.
When I began to anticipate 'empty nest' I prayed for direction. It feels like I was led to take various classes and joined several groups on meetup.com. (Screen out the groups that are led by someone interested in selling goods or services)The more you step out of your comfort zone, the more comfortable it becomes. I encourage you to try continuing education classes at community colleges. I teach at Wright College and we offer an interesting variety, from crafts to dance to stress reduction (what I teach). I also invite you to an open meeting every first Sunday (this Sunday) at the Garrett Wellness Center at 1pm. It is the most welcoming group of people I have ever known with various interests and all focused on feeling uplifted and positive. I think you'll find that just being in the room will be an energy boost.

1 mom found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Volunteer......Schools, hospitals, library, community programs, etc need help.

Get outside, walk, play tennis, be involved in your neighborhood. Join a committee of something that interests you.

Figure out what your interests are and seek out a group.

Good luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.W.

answers from Boston on

If you are a dog lover as I am, look into rescues. I am very involved with a few rescues and it certainly can keep you as busy as you want to be and if you choose to foster a dog (or two or three, lol), it will absolutely fill your nurturing need. I guess it just all depends on what your interests in general are and how much time you have to fill.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Well it is very difficult when our children grow up and leave. They start their new lives and we are proud because we did our jobs, but where are we now?

One thing our group of moms did is start a "moms group" that tries to meet once a month during the school year for a potluck dinner. We also bring snacks or school supplies to send to our children and put together "Care packages". We are a group of 15, but it tends to be 10 per month that show up. We each bring 10 of something example, pkgs of gum, post it notes, hand sanitizer, snack crackers, etc.. We lay them all out and then collect one from each and place all of this in a care package for our own child..

The best part is seeing each other and catching up on how our children are doing at school. There have been ups and downs.. We share ideas and support each other.. This is our second year and so now we tend to talk more about what we are doing..

I noticed more moms looking for work, starting new exercise programs, taking on more volunteer opportunities at churches, political campaigns, and charity organizations.. 4 of them have had major remodeling done on their homes.. this kept them very busy.

One mom is an artist and has now been able to focus more on this and has started attending participating in a few Art Shows. I have a friend who is studying to become a massage therapist.

It helps to share our feelings about missing our children, feeling like we still want to help our kids with their struggles..

My mom attends a gym and has made some friends there since they attend during the week, they have more time to visit. I do special events and so I get asked to help in all sorts of ways.

You could look into joining a book club through your library or local Cool Bookstore. You could volunteer for a project that is close to your heart.

You are not alone. Think of all of your passions you had when you were younger and go for them.
I am sending you strength.

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