Shared Driveway.... Need Opinions

Updated on February 13, 2012
T.M. asks from Havertown, PA
24 answers

I know that i am in the wrong. I just need opinions. We have a shared driveway. Our street parking is across a busy road (many accidents at night here). Our cars and friends and family have been keyed over there. The family over there makes it clear that it is "their street" :(

My neighbor is single. She only goes out once in a blue moon. My girlfriend stops over a couple nights a week. She parks in the driveway. Once or twice the neighbor has asked us to move and she does right away. (we are always sitting on the back porch.... it is our getaway) Today, the neighbor knocks (girlfriend not here) and asks me to please never have anyone in the driveway again. She said she knows she never goes out but could have an emergency. (i did not mention that she never goes out, she did) I was very polite. I told her i was sorry, that it was hard with not much of an option.

Would you have used the driveway for visitors like i do? Was i very wrong? My husband and girlfriend are upset that she wont let us. Their thinking is she rents from her parents, we own....we move car right away, crossing the street is not safe nor is parking there. ...that kind of thinking. Need opinions....

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

We live in a single home development, the all have shared driveways) the shared driveways lead to the back area where you can park one car. We each have our own back area (where the kitchen door is). Hers has been expanded into her yard to fit 3 cars. My grandfather poured crushed stone into part of our grass so that my husband could fit and i park in the spot near kitchen door. Hard to explain. The driveway (shared part) only belongs to the two houses....not the town or anything.

You all make valid points, that is why i asked. I have been blocked by her on the rare occasion. Many of the neighbors have called the police about the keying cars. They do nothing. The family is creepy. I have lived here my whole life. I dont ever want to move out of this area. It is a wonderful, kid friendly town, with great schools. My husband usually shovels the driveway, he had a lung disease and could not, even then my father came to help. (i also bake her cookies each winter to thank her for attempting with some of the shoveling) I am not a mean person. I am just in a bad spot. I do understand though where everyone is coming from. I did not ask first because her mother is not a nice lady and i was too afraid. Thank you ladies for your opinions.

Mom's i pass blocked shared driveways around here all of the time. I am not the only neighbor that thinks it was ok. Please stop bashing. I get the point. I will not do it again. Do you know that some of you really are mean. You dont have to be so mean to get your point across. To the ones that were not so brutal, thank you so very much. I am having a down time lately and this was hard for me. I usually have thick skin. Oh, well. It is over. Can we move on and be nicer.

ps i will never admit my faults on here again....egad!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Call her parents and find out about property issues and see if she even has the right to tell you that the drive way is only hers.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Boston on

If it is her property then you have no right to park there, period. If you had asked and she said OK it would be different.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.Y.

answers from Chicago on

I would not spend one more second or ounce of mental or emotional energy on this woman....she is going to behave the way she wants....ignore it and pay her or her behavior no behavior. She has the issue not you.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

We shared a driveway several years ago and the people next to us used to park behind us all the time. Actually, it was their guests who parked behind us. Even if we didn't have to get out, it was SO.INCREDIBLY.ANNOYING. While you meant no harm, every time she looks out her window she sees your friend's car and knows that if she wants to go out, she needs to ask your permission. It's just not right - and it's truly bothersome to be the one who always has to ask.

It doesn't matter that she rents from her parents. She has a right to not be blocked in. Sorry to say - your friend needs to find another place to park.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

I.G.

answers from Seattle on

We have had our fair share with shared driveway drama... so here it goes: it is a driveway not a parking space. It does not matter if she never leaves the house, you must give her access to her backyard/from the backyard to the street at any time. Period. Ask your visitors to find street parking.

4 moms found this helpful

L._.

answers from San Diego on

I know exactly what you are talking about. Our neighbors across the street share a driveway to access their back yards. I don't know of any squabbles. They seem to get a long pretty well.

So let me get this straight... Your neighbor next door is upset because the driveway gets blocked by your guests. But the people across the street key cars for parking on a public street? Is there any proof at all? Seems like your beef should not be with the neighbor. You need to find a way to set up a camera that will prove who's keying cars.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

So you're not parking in a shared parking place, you're parking in the driveway that leads to both of your spots and no one is supposed to park in the drive. Correct? Yes... I think you were "very wrong" especially because it doesn't sound like you checked with her BEFORE blocking her in, rather you just did it and are mad that she got tired of it.

The fact that she rents and you own has nothing to do with anything. The driveway is not intended as parking. When you park there you block her in. She has asked you not to park there. Done.

She shouldn't have to come ask the neighbors to move their car every time she wants to leave the house. If for no other reason than it's none of your business when she comes and goes. What if she wants to have a friend over... there's plenty of room behind her house for them to park but the can't GET there because you're blocking the drive.

Maybe you could expand your back area more, or possibly arrange the cars back there so that all three fit in a way that she can still get out.

Or... if you're on good terms with her you might ask to use one of her back spaces for your guests (although at this point that might not be an option)

Hope this helps.
T.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Dallas on

You were just a bit inconsiderate. Even if I didn't leave very often, I would get perturbed at having to get you to move your vehicle every time I wanted to leave. It's possible she mentioned it to her parents (the owners) and they were upset to hear that her way out was blocked. I can see how this inconveniences your friend, but it really sounds like she needs to find a different parking spot.

3 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

My opinion: Yep, you are wrong on this one, sorry. No, I would not have my friends park in a shared driveway, very disrespectful and rude. I would have my guests park on the street where they belong.

Too bad you hadn't gone over and asked if it was alright if your friends use it when they come over...that might have solved the problem before it even began? I would be so very annoyed to have to come over and ask someone to move their car and then wait for them to do it before I could get out of my own driveway! I am a bit confused why you would be more obliging and respectful with the neighbors across the street 'claiming' a whole PUBLIC street than you are with your own neighbor and her own driveway? Out of curiosity, is the shared driveway something you thought about before you decided to buy the house? It would have been a deal breaker for me...but I have seen many a court battle over this same thing on shows like 'The Peoples Court' :)

~It shouldn't matter one bit that you own and that her parents own and she *only* rents from them, her family still owns the house...it is still their 'part' of the driveway and they can use or not use it as they wish!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.A.

answers from Philadelphia on

After hearing that she has extra parking behind her house (for 3 cars) I would ask if it would be a problem for your friend to use one of those spots rather than "block" the driveway. This way you compromise. You give her an unblocked driveway and your friend is still not having to park across the street and risk harming her car or self. Hopefully this keeps everyone happy. The only risk is her saying "No" at which case you can state that she leaves you no choice and that the driveway is shared. Just be mindful that she has every right to block the driveway as well which may cause you more frustration/inconvenience than having your friend park across the street.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B..

answers from Dallas on

Question - Why does it matter if she just rents? You BOTH have rights to the driveway, no matter if she rents or owns. Not to mentions SOMEONE owns the home, and that home has the right to a driveway. Really, you could have asked first, and she likely would have been fine with it. I would really hate to have to tell someone to move and wait, if I were going out. I think it's really rude. She tolerated it for quite a time without saying anything. Your friend either needs to park at the street, have gatherings at her place. You know you were wrong, so just don't do it again. There is no reason for your husband and friend to be mad.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think she has a valid point. Either rig something up that you can get more cars in your back area or park on the street-or have her park on the street.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.K.

answers from Phoenix on

First thought, I think you should've asked her first.

1 mom found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

I think you've been scolded enough. Honestly, I've lived in so many apartments in my years and have had EVERY type of parking challenge. To this day, with my own home, I don't mind if my neighbor's friends park right in front of my house. What am I gonna do, stare out the window at their car and "get real mad"? I have a shared driveway and the other neighbors have numerous grown step-kids, friends, contractors, friends, parking and blocking it. I'm VERY busy and I come and go constantly. It has never been a problem for me to bang on the door real quick and tell the to move. I have their number, I could even call if I had to. They know they need to move. There is nowhere else to park. Likewise, they are nice about bringing in their sketchy dog if I want my kids to play in our adjacent back yard, even thought their dogs have just as many rights to the back as my kids---it's like, since I'm cool about the driveway, they're cool about the dogs type thing. We help each other in many ways in exchange for our "quirks" that make us hard to live with. I believe in a "working relationship" with close neighbors rather than a "keep to yourself, what's mine ins mine" approach. But one day I may win the lottery and move to where I can have everything perfect at all times. Yes, I would have asked her first. Once she said that to me about the driveway, I probably would have baked some cookies as an apology and tried to ask if your friend can park there if you ask her first and if you guys are on the porch and able to be reached in an instant. Sounds like everyone is festering in their homes building grudges. I don't think you or she did anything terribly wrong. Tell your husband and girlfriend to channel their frustration into solving the issue with the thugs across the street dominating all parking :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Where do you park your cars?? Are they in a garage and you just drive up the driveway to it?

When you bought the house you had to have a survey done by the bank.. what does the plot line look like? Is your side considered an easement... or do you own the land and SHE has an easement? Tiis would be VERY clear on any documents you have re: your house.

It's my understanding easements are for access.... so maybe legally you aren't able parking there. I'd get some facts first and then approach her re: what the lay out really is and what your rights are.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

She's in the right and you are wrong for using her parking space. When I come home and find someone parked in my spot in the driveway, it ticks me off. That's my parking space and I don't want to have to park, get out, ask someone to move and then go back and park my car. It's irritating! Think of how you would feel if you came home and found her friend parked in your parking spot causing you to have to get out of your car, go to her door and then wait for her to move before you could park. Irritating! It doesn't matter if she owns or rents, it's still her parking spot.

1 mom found this helpful

C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

No I wouldn't block the driveway. It's rude. You need to figure out something that does not inconvenience your neighbor. Before buying a house we lived in an apartment complex that had assigned parking at the back door and an additional parking lot a little way back from the building. After that we moved to a duplex that shared a driveway, but had designated parking in the back. In both places we had to deal with inconsiderate people who would allow their guests to either park in our spot or block the driveway. It's frustrating to have to say something then wait for the offender to move. No matter how nice you really are and no matter how often you bake cookies for your neighbor, it still does not afford you the right allow your guest(s) to block the driveway. You guys need to figure out a way to get a 3rd spot behind your home. Best wishes.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Your words: "I know I was in the wrong"......You judged yourself...apologize...and DON'T do it again...OR just move.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.A.

answers from Wausau on

I wasnt going to respond but here goes. You are the ones that handles this situation worng. I dont blame your neighbor one bit for getting upset. There is nothing worse than feeling like your being run over on your own property. Now I know this was prob. not the intention but I have been in the position where I felt like my neighbors had no common courtesy. How did I deal with it? I put my house up for sale and moved into the counrty :) Anyhow you should have gone to her in the first place. You could have prob.. had an arrangement that in exchange for shoveling her side of the driveway you could park there, or something else. Give her time to cool off and I would go over there and talk with her and see if you can come up with a arrangement. If your street isnt safe maybe you need to relocate? Being mad at her isnt the solution.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

my opinion is, that you should respect your neighbors space, no matter WHO owns the place. It sounds to me like your husband and girlfriend are just trying to make excuses for them being in the wrong. I mean, does it really matter who owns the place, are her parents the ones that needs the driveway in case of an emergency? I get that sometimes you have to park there, and for a few minutes that would be OK, but for people to come visit you, and hog up the driveway, that is wrong. Unless you have prior permission from her, like if you have a party or something. I say if you don't like the parking situation, then move to someplace where you can have your own driveway. You'd want her to respect you. If she had friends coming over doing the same thing, I'd bet you would not like it.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

i get your point, but if it is a shared driveway, you have to be respectful to ALL who "share" it. it doesn't matter whether your neighbor rents or not, the point is still, it's a shared driveway. unfortunately, just because you believe you have more reason to use the driveway for whatever reasons, your neighbor may also feel she the same way. shared driveways are a pain in the butt, but they are just that, shared! i would say, stop using the driveway as if it's yours, and use precaution when crossing the road.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

The shared area is just that, shared. She doesn't have the right to tell you not to use it anymore, especially since you OWN your share of it, and she does not. If there was an emergency an ambulance would come. This is the price that both parties have to pay for living in a shared area. It stinks but so be it. If she demands it then I'd be putting demands on her as well, and no one wants to go down that route.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.T.

answers from New York on

I understand your frustration since she so rarely goes out but unfortunately there's nothing you can argue. And since she never goes out, she likely doesn't have much of a life and has time to obssess over these little things. But if it was someone who went out a lot, they would have a legitimate gripe. So you're in a lose lose situation. I don't really get how the family across the street monopolizes the parking either if it's public space. Could you talk to them or they're really that much of a bunch of thugs? Your neighbor is annoying in a way but I can also relate. We're not supposed to park on the street in our 'hood. There's designated parking. Sometimes someone doesn't know though and parks right in front of our house. Who really cares but it bugs me. It's so close bc our front yard is small that it feels like an invasion of privacy. Likely that's how she feels and your friend isn't over once in a blue moon. A couple of times a week probably starts to feel like a lot.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I've been lucky never to have shared a driveway but may I offer you another point of view? If someone were parked in the street in front of my driveway, it would absolutely drive me insane, even if I wasn't going out or didn't have a car. It's just rude. It wouldn't be any different if someone just blocked the base of the drive. It's not a driveway for parking so don't even think of it that way. You could always get a sign that says 'do not block drive' so all visitors know not to park there. Just because you wouldn't have a problem with her friends parking in the drive if you weren't going out, doesn't mean she should feel the same way. I f I were her, I would be mad too. So it's not safe to park across the street, too bad. Just something you have to deal with if you like where you live, y'know. And if your friends complain, just tell them your sorry, but we don't block the driveway, it's not for parking.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions