Son Always Asking Me to Play....

Some kids play by them selves and others need outside in put. My Oldest could play by herself... My middle (4) does ok, but does at times when I am most busy think he needs mommy to play. But he also has our youngest (19 mo)to bounce things off of... (literally). :-) The interactive play between siblings will make it easier on you, but that won't happen for a little while yet... And when it does it will be punctuated with ouches, screams and mommy telling them over and over to keep their hands, feet, bodies off of each other.

I also am a stay at home mom and find it easier for me if I just sit, play and then try to pick up where I left off... Maybe thats why I only get things done in 5 minute spurts... But they do get done... eventually.
At his age time doesn't matter... just what I want to do NOW.
Think about your day. Is there a time that you try to get lots done? Involve him... Instead of sending him to play trains while you clean the kitchen... Hand him a swiffer mop and let him clean with you. :-)Yes, the swiffer will spend half the time in the air. Give him a squirt bottle of water and a paper towel and ask him to wash the table... Just something that he can feel close to you and you can get your stuff done. When doing laundy I give my guys a stack of wash clothes and ask them to fold them.... Keeps them busy and is easy to clean up when they get bored with it...
Try many things...
When you do feel angry or impatient stop yourself and breathe. Every mom feels like that sometimes. If you do yell, go to him and tell him that you are feeling stressed out and you need mommy time to finish something. He understands more than you think he does... But give reasons instead of just saying "something to do"...
Personally I have had to rethink my prioritys... What is more important... Happy kids/sane mommy or no toys on the floor... If they do dump the toys out... at least its occupying them. :-)

Good luck and hug the kiddos...

Beth had very good advice, I can't really add to that other than to say try not to get angry because he wants you. The housework will always be there, your children won't. My boys are grown and don't really have a lot of time for me now and it went really fast and I miss those days of them being little. I've walked in your shoes but I'm farther down the road than you are and I recommend not setting a timer, that only serves to frustrate you and may make him feel like his time with you is limited. Instead look for good breaking points in your play and do as Beth suggested and incorporate what you are doing into something he can do. All he wants is attention from you, he dosen't care too much what it is.

A good moto to go by when raising kids is say yes more than you say no and make more blanket forts!

Have fun,
S.

Hi S.. My 3 &1/2 year old son asks me to play trains all the time too. My daughter on the other hand is content playing by herself. I'm not sure if it's a boy thing or an age thing, pre-schoolers are much more social. Anyway, like the other MOMs, I suggest you try to lighten up on cleaning. Unless you work from home, you really should be able to spend time with them, after all, that's why you are staying home, to raise your children, not just clean the house. Your 3 yr old may be able to understand when you tell him he has to wait until mommy does (whatever it is you have to finish) before you can play with him. That's works pretty well for me, and you may have to tell him a few times before he understands, but he'll catch on. Just try to be more flexible, you are only stressing yourself and the kids out more by using a timer. I know you have things that have to get done, but getting him involved when you can, distracting him with something else, taking advantage of time the kids are not around or maybe when your husband is home, and asking him to wait should allow you to get the neccesities done. Best wishes. And try to have some fun (I know it's sometimes a challenge).

Hi S. -

My son is 2 and a lot like yours. I agree with the comments below. Sometimes I find myself getting overwhelmed b/c b/t the two kids, I never get anything done. And when I stop to think about it, it really is a good problem to have! Children who want to be with us. I try to remind myself that soon enough they will be begging to play with their friends...or worse, driving (LOL) and then I will wish they wanted to play with me again. I know it is hard sometimes, but just remember these years are going to fly by and when your kids are older, they will remember that Mom always made time for them, not the dishes or dusting or mopping!

Like the others said, take a few minutes here and there to do things (I am not suggesting living in filth!) and try to involve him....my son loves making the bed b/c we play in the covers and know that doing this will make all tasks 3x as long, but it is SO worth it!

Enjoy and good luck!

Hi S.. My little guy does the same thing. I agree with the other moms that you should try not to be so into housework, etc. I know it's cliche, but this is the only time you will have with them at this age, you should try to spend as much time as you can with them. You are creating lifelong memories right now. I try to get as much done as possible during nap time (hopefully your son still naps) so I can be there if they need me. You could also give him a project to work on while you clean, for example, he could color at the kitchen table while you clean in there , or give him the wand to the vacuum while you vacuum so he thinks he is helping. While I'm folding laundry I'll have him match up all the socks, etc. Not to sound mean, but I don't think the timer is a good idea. He may see it that you are putting a limit on the time you want to spend with him, and that is not a good message to send him. Good luck.

Do you ask him to play with you? If he is always the one who has to ask then he will always be asking. I really, really don't want this to sound rude, because it took me a couple of years to figure this out : When your children are grown and gone, do you want them to remember living in a clean house or do you want them to remember a fun loving warm mother who always had time for them?
Keep the house under control, but learn to let things slide sometimes. :)

What great advice everyone has given you! I would like to add to involve him in your housework. My 4 year old helps vaccuum, sweep, mops, cleans the bathroom, all of it really. I love that she wants to be with me. We cook breakfast, lunch and dinner together every day. I try really hard to say yes more than no.

I can totally understand where you are coming from here...I have one son, who is 5 now, and he is an only child. So, I stayed home and there was not many kids in the neighborhood...so we had each others company a lot of the time!
I tried to set up a chore/behavior/activity chart for him. At age three, I would make big pictures and put them up on a poster board. Go through it all with him. Tell him that this is breakfast, this is play time with mom, this is his favorite tv show time, and this is nap time, etc. Now, of course you aren't going to be able to follow this everyday...things always happen but it may give him a sense of stability to know that he can do certain things with you and also has time for nap and/or quiet time alone.

Make it LOTS of fun...assign different tasks everyday to mix it up and just make him WANT to do those things...if its new and exciting, he will probably love it.

Then reward him for following along...give little gifts or even more play time with you as a reward. Its fun, and kids do like to know whats going on around them. That way maybe the both of you can be less stressed.
Just an idea. Good Luck!