Suddenly Single Mom Needs to Build Support System

I am so sorry that you are in this situation. I became a single mom before my kids turned 1 and 3. I know how you feel and how overwhelming it can be, especially when they are so young. One of my favorite resources when I needed a few hours to myself was the drop-in daycare centers. They can take kids up to three or four hours at a time and there is no need to call ahead. It is a little more expensive than a regular daycare but it is great when you want to just go shopping by yourself. I would also use this when I wanted to spend time alone with each of my kids. My other favorite thing was online grocery shopping. It cost a little more but it was sure better than dragging two kids through the store and then trying to carry all those groceries into the house.

As far as sick kids and other unexpected situations, I would look for a college student that may be able to do occassional babysitting for you. You could also check with your local hospitals to see if they have a sick child service during the day. I just got a postcard in the mail the other day from someone who is starting a business babysitting for sick kids, so you might find something similar in your area.

Good luck and stay strong. I know it's tough but it does get easier. Just remember to take care of yourself first. Feel free to email me if you ever just want to talk.

K.

J.,
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, but you and your children will be just fine! I was a single mom for a long time, with a newborn and a two year old. There were days when I was so exhausted, the tears would flow and I'd be sleeping before my head hit the pillow. But we all made it through those days are doing awesome now! So here's my advice-don't be afraid to ask for help-even when your little one's are sick. You'd be suprised how understanding and compassionate some people can be! Like Kim posted below, there are some daycares that will watch your child for a few hours or a day. When you children hit school, strike up conversations with the other moms. I had a hard time with this because where I live, it's a lot of older two parent homes (I was sort of a young mom)and we didn't have a lot in common, but I kept at it and have made some great friends and I'm sure you will too! Put an add in the paper or at the local college and high school, and ask around-people you know probably have teenagers willing to babysit. Or maybe if you have any younger girls at your local grocery store? You'll most certainly have to sift through until you find someone that matches what you're looking for but this can be a great outlet. Dont be scared to check references, perform interviews and do background checks! My babysitter replied to an ad I had put in the paper; she's been watching my girls for seven years, and is much like a part of our family. The biggest thing is to ask around and talk to people. You never know what great things/people are out there! Anyway, hang in there, and trust me, things will get easier!!

Hang in there, you will get through this. I raised my older daughter on my own for the first 12 years. It was tough, but we made it alone until we met my now husband and she is all grown up.

As for breaks...they aren't easy nor too often. When they are sick, you take a sick day off and take care of your girls. When the time is right, you take a break and drive to a nearby theme park, go camping, or whatever you enjoy doing. We used to drive to the first beach we could and get a cheap motel and play on the beach.

Soon your five year old will meet friends in school and will have her own playdates to run off to or they will play together in your home. A friend around keeps them occupied and out of trouble.

I switch off with a single mom that we met at the pre-school. Sometimes, I pick up from school and take the girls to the park or she does. For birthday party time, I am sure to offer to take the little one so mom can prepare for the party. Hopefully, our girls continue to get along because her little girls dad is in Hawaii, quite a ways away.

J.,
We just started a Mother's of Preschoolers group at my church. We currently meet on the 3rd Tuesday of each month. It is a GREAT group of women who get together to support and encourage one another. We have playdates every couple of weeks. We do a Mom's night out once a month. We would love to have you join us. I have found it to be a wonderful way to meet other moms, get ideas/suggestions, and take some time for me (which is so important so that I can be the best mom possible).
I have 3 kids of my own (ages 5 yrs, 15 mos, and 3 mos). I am married, but my husband and I were seperated for most of last year (we are back together now) and I know how hard it is to be solely responsible for your children. If you would like to get together for a playdate or get more info about the MOPS group, just let me know.

God Bless and Hang in there!
Tricia

Many churches have mom's day out programs you can check into those, by doing this you can also meet other mom's. They are out there.....

Oh mama, too bad you're not in VA. I used to watch kids from my home, and ONLY for single working moms. I based the price around how much they were making, how much they could afford (and some could afford only very little). It was a big job for me, but no matter what, we were all helping each other out. Even if any of the children got sick, including my own, I would separate them accordingly. I'm older now, and have no idea how I kept it all together, I was like super mom, LOL... my point is, there are people how there who will help you no matter what, even if they don't know you. One of the women I had been helping had just moved here from Ghana with her family, but suddenly her husband and eldest daughter were deported bc there was something wrong with their visas... for the first time in her life she was forced to work... and she was pregnant. For the first few weeks, I watched her kids free of charge so she could find a job... Then, when the baby was born, I watched the kids for free again, since she couldn't pay bc she wasn't working. I have NO idea how she ended up getting in touch with me, but it was meant to be. Her husband and daughter were finally able to come back to the states, and they moved to NJ... but we still keep in touch, and they are doing very well now. Keep your chin up sweetie, and GOOD FOR YOU for hanging in there and working for your children. Good luck!! :)

when i was single mine was old enough he didnt need day care but for the breaks find one of thier friends and rotate kids for the weekend. They spend the night with you one week and she spends the night with them one week.
If they ask to go to a friends or spend the night say yes its the only break youll get my ex was the same way. Hang in there you will survive trust me.

J., I don't know where abouts in town you live, but I would suggest joining a MOPS group. That's Mothers of Preschoolers. There's one at Shearer Hills Baptist Church at 281 near Bitters and one at Alamo Heights UMC near the Quarry. This is a very supportive group of moms. They have childcare during the monthly meetings and you'll get to meet some new friends too. They often schedule playdates or mom's nights out. It might just be the support you are looking for. Check it out!