I am absolutely at my wit's end with my 6-year old DS. He apparently HATES reading. He loves it when I read to him, but he does not want to read himself. He knows his letters and sounds. He is a crackshot with his sight words. If he doesn't immediately know a word, then he is done. He doesn't even want to try to sound out the words and learn. If I press him, he will literally make up a different word rather than sound out a word that he does not know. This results in whining beyond all belief. I want to poke my own ear drums out rather than hear it.
I don't believe that he has a learning disability because when he stops whining and really concentrates, he actually does quite well. I am starting to think that he just takes after his Dad who also does not like reading. He acts like this whatever book we are reading even if he picked it out himself.
This has resulted in many a night of tears by both of us. I have tried to explain how important reading will be in the 1st grade. I do not know what else to do. I am considering calling Huntington Learning Center and getting him some professional tutoring because I am getting nowhere. Does anyone else have problems with teaching their child to read?
Please keep the responses coming. This is especially hard for me because I have always loved reading. To this day, I read sevetal books a week. It is so hard for me to understand him not wanting to read...
Have you considered a Waldorf school? They do not even teach reading until the kids are at least 7. The Scandinavians don't teach reading until later and their education 'scores' are extremely high. My BIL did not learn to read until he was in first grade and he has a PhD from Yale. I wouldn't worry too much. It is way more important for him to enjoy reading than to learn it early.
To start with you can try "leap frog " videos,he won`t know he is learning watching tv :-)
My son learned the phonics from the leap frog video & today he is an excellent reader.
If you have a Kumon center near you ,try that it helps too.
Get some books of his fav character,like if he likes thomas get some thomas books ,that may he may feel motivated to read too.
Good luck.
Did you know that learning is an actual physical ability like walking? That kids do it when they are ready, like potty training? And that many kids aren't ready till 7?
Did you know that the Finnish wait till 7 to teach reading, so they don't frustrate the many 6 year olds that find reading too hard?
Read to your son. Stop trying to get him to read. He will read when he is ready, and the more you pressure him, the more he is going to resist.
Love your son, and don't take his not reading as a sign that he doesn't like books. He is finding it difficult to read, so make books fun, not a place of frustration.
Well my son wasn't a very good reader either, it was hard for him. He started first grade barely reading at all and by the middle of the year something clicked and he soared. By the end of first grade he was in the highest reading group.
I never "worked" with him, I just read to him every night. His teachers assured me that reading happens sooner for some kids and later for others and I believed them. There was never any pressure and certainly no tears.
Just keep reading to him. Unless he has a disability (which will show up soon enough) he just needs more time.
And DON'T take him to one of those centers, that will just make him hate school/learning more :(
My daughter did not read well until 3rd grade. The latest research on child brain development shows that that is completely normal for a percentage of children. The worst part of 1st and 2nd grade was trying to help her keep up to the minimum level expected by our inflexible schools, without making her hate reading, or feel dumb. Her teacher actually said she was a "bad reader" right in front of her! They filled out the paperwork to have her declared to have a learning disability.
And guess what, by the end of 3rd grade she scored at the 99th percentile in reading. At the end of 4th grade she was reading at an 8th grade level.
Keep reading to your son and make reading fun. Being read to grows their vocabulary and comprehension which is just as important as their reading for themselves. Encourage but don't push! The worst thing would be for him to hate reading. Tears are not necessary here, for either of you. He's only 6.
I think there are a few things at play here: first of all I don't believe in "early reading". I think it is too much too fast. Where I am from kids don't even learn the alphabet until they are 6, in Finland, THE top scoring western country in international comparison, kids don't start academic work until they are 7! Some kids are simply not mature enough at age 5 or 6 to read.
The other problem is that many boys fall through the cracks in our public school system: most teachers are now female, the curriculum, method of instruction and reading materials are more geared toward appealing to girls and the majority of kids book authors are - you guessed it - female. This problem is not exclusive to the US, in many western countries in which early childhood/elementary education is seen more as a "female job" this problem is quite well known.
Since you probably don't really have a choice to wait until he is ready, one thing you can consider is trying to find reading materials that are more appealing to boys. You can google books for boys, I think Amazon has even a section dedicated to boys learning to read and maybe his teacher has a couple of suggestions as well. He may be more interested in non-fiction than children's fiction.
Good luck!
If you both are in tears, then that tells me that you are pushing this way too hard and need to back off a bit. Make reading fun for him, not a chore.
Find a few words that he knows and put them on cards. Have him re-arrange the cards to make silly sentences.
I'm glad to see that you let him choose the book. If he picks a picture book, let him make up a story about the pictures that he sees.
Choral read- both of you read the words together.
When you are in the car, let him read the signs to you as you go by. You can make a bingo card with words on it and he can mark off the words as you find them. This can be done while you are running errands.
Rhyme time. Give him a word and have him tell you a word that rhymes with it. It can be a real word, or a nonsense word. Again, do this in the car, while you are fixing dinner, any time.
Finally, just read, read, read to him. Many people don't understand how valuable this is. Stop and ask him questions along the way- "what do you think will happen next?" and "Why do you think (the character) did that?"
I am a teacher and I try to make learning to read fun. Every child learns differently and you need to find what works best for his learning style. Experiment a little to find his style.
Good luck- I don't think you need to send him off to a center just yet... try some of these things and also try to relax. He'll get it, you'll see!
Hi! I have heard so many of my kids school friends tell me they "hate" to read. My kids think that is the saddest thing. But I have also head the parents tell tales of trying to make their kids read that have made me sad.
Why not take a giant step backward. It sounds like he knows his letters and his sounds so he's really got what he needs. Continue to read to him, use your finger across the words as you read. There are a ton of computer games out there that will painlessly help him read. My kids never even realized the games I was letting them play were their schoolwork. Get some comics. Really. What are his interests? Find some things he is interested in for him to peruse.
Have him help you. "Hmm, where is Joe's Shoes? I don't see it. Honey which one of these is Joe's Shoes?" "Oh, poo, I forgot the Carolina instant brown rice, can you please go find it for me so we can get out of here and get in the pool?"
This is likely to be a long, long road as it sounds like the damage is done, but don't make it a battlefield. Make reading something he can't wait to do. Let him know it can open all the doors and take him wonderful places!
Good luck!
HI there!
It sounds like he is fine. I wouldn't worry about a learning center. If he knows sight words and is not even in first grade he is not behind.
I think that some kids aren't that interested until they are more fluent because they get bored with the books they are able to read on their own. Hop on Pop or The Very Hungry Caterpillar are fun, but not really "read them a hundred times" fun for all kids. My son loved listening to books, but didn't get as interested in reading on his own until he could get into books like The MAgic Tree House and ones like that with more of a plot. Even now, however, he is not one to just pick up a book out of the blue.
I hope this changes, too, because I am like you. I LOVE reading and always have. I hope he will eventually, too
Just have things available that he enjoys and maybe take them along in the car, instead of a game boy etc, so he is more "captive" then but you aren't "forcing" him, since he can always choose to just look out the window. Or get some kids magazines if he is into animals or something like that. He may just want to mostly look at the pictures and captions, but it will peak his interest.
When you are reading together, you can always have him read a short paragraph or few sentences.
Don't get too worried though. He is very young still. Just enjoy that he wants to sit with you and have you read to him for the time being :)
As a former teacher; possibly you could go over each letter sound A-Z with your child. Make sure they know each sound properly. Then, put simple words together--- he, she, the, cat, it, blue, red, one and etc. I'm sure there are many more words your child could say/spell. I worked with one teacher and she was perfect at teaching. All the kids in her Kindergarten class knew so many words both in spelling and pronouncing them correctly.
Does your child ever try to read to friends or anything? Possibly your child does not like reading in front of you. I find a lot of children struggle to read in front of their parents out loud. He's probably frustrated because you are frustrated too!
I would look for a private tutor (not a college student either sorry!) for the summer. He might like reading to a new person who isn't mommy or daddy. Sometimes that all it takes. Take him to the library; let him pick out a book but tell him he has to practice reading it with you. Try reading one line yourself then have him read the next and back and forth. The more he does that; the more you can ask him to read more lines!
Reading should be fun for a child. If he feels stressed; he won't want to read! I can't say I blame him! Another thing you may want to try is having him walk and read. Some kids do really well that way learning and reading.
Oh--I just thought of this; he might like to hear himself reading. If you have a recorder, record him reading (you don't have to be in the room in case he is nervous) and then play back the recording for him. He may be amazed how well he reads/trying to read. Kids love that!
As far as teh Huntington Learning Center. I have heard both positive and negative things. It all depends on the teachers in the center. I'd go with professional tutoring. I did use to struggle with reading and writing myself. It just takes time!
If you need anything feel free to send me a message! Stay strong and calm if you can! :)
Good luck! :)
I think that if you show your little one you are kind of desperate, it will not help him or motivate him to read, if you cry you are showing to him that he is a failure, and HE IS NOT; if you believe in your child, he will succeed on everything and show him you believe in him. Do not rush, and do not overdue. Take a break, go to the pool, to the beach, have fun, and let days fly. Then, start over little by little, read the first day something he likes a lot, just that. Next, read to him and have him to point the words with his index finger, stop and talk about what is happening. Just that.
The next day read together another book he may like, and have him write any word from the story (spell it to him). Read "together" every day just for 10 or 15 minutes, and then have him to read just one paragraph with your help, repeat the sounds of the letters that he finds in that paragraph (some of them) laugh and have fun with them. Just do it little by little and do not expect him to read a whole book. Wherever you go read aloud (parking lots, parks, playground,movies, etc, read signs they are everywhere, when he does it on his own, laugh happily and praise him. BE patient and do not cry, reading is not easy task for everyone. Show him you are happy whatever he is trying to do, and do not cry, do not show impatience. Read and read and read to him....I did that with my 6 year old boy since he was a baby, and he loves reading! Now he likes to write the words that he sees in the books and make stories! (not perfect, but cute and pretty smart).
You don't have to compare your kid to other kids, that is what makes you impatient; kids learn in different ways and at different phase, do not worry, he will make it. Help him by not being disappointed, you will get more from him if you relax.
Good luck
The way I got my GD interested in reading was to introduce her to computer games. She WANTED to be able to read the instructions and other things on the games so she took a real interest in reading. See if your son changes his attitude when it comes to computer games. Doesn't matter if they learn in a book or as part of a computer game as long as they learn!
Yes!! I have to run now but we had our daughter tested. I am getting the results on Wed. I've been in tears with her too. IM me if you want to see what we learned... She's supposed to be smart. It's gotten better but she really does not like to read.
My son was the same way. He has caught up now & is reading at a higher grade level . I was so frustrated with his reading skills . I asked my friends what their "readers" loved to read & got / borrowed those books. That's when things really started to change. He started to read for entertainment, not because he had to practice. I'm sure at first, he didn't know a lot of words but he got the main story line.
I feel your pain. Both of my sons rarely read unless it's required for school. DS#1 is heading into 4th grade and DS#2 is going into 3rd. DS#1 would just guess at words so I'd tell him the right one when he was learning to read. Still tries that trick with math. Drives me batty! I don't worry too much because both do well in school and DS#1 did quite well on the FCAT this past school year. Basically just read to your son and maybe sometimes pretend YOU don't know the word and ask him to help figure out the word. Don't let it get you down and don't worry too much about it unless you feel like he's really struggling. Hang in there and know you're not alone.
I had major issues when it came to teaching my daughter to read--and I am a teacher !
I spent some money and had her tested by a neuropsychologist. The testing took 3 days. It was the best decision I have ever made !
I don't know if this will help you but our son got much more interested in reading once we found books he was really interested in. These are all those funny boy books that are graphic illustration books for kids. They are kind of like little kid comic book books. His teacher said this is great, don't worry about the book content and to just encourage any kind of reading. Books like Captain Underpants, Artsy Fartsy books, Big Nate, Calvin and Hobbes, and Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. Comic books worked as well. Now he loves the Amulet book series. This is also like reading a comic book with cool graphics. Anything "cool" and/or funny appealed to him and motivated him to read on his own. It's worth a try.
Can you find ways to make it more fun? If he really doesn't like it, forcing him to sit and read books isn't going to work.
Does he have a hobby or something he loves? My son is obsessed with baseball right now, so we sometimes go to the nonfiction section of the library and choose baseball books. Maybe finding something he loves will help.
I also really recommend making a game out of it, rather than making it a chore or a school-style lesson. Play rhyming games. Get letter magnets for the fridge and spell out words with them. Find a fun but messy project, like finger paints or shaving cream, and write words with them outside on a big easel.
Label everything in your house. Make signs with words written clearly on them and hang them all over the place, such as table, bed, computer, couch, lamp, etc.
Check out my Discovery Toys page as well. We have a game called Memo Spell that is a lot of fun and will help him build on his reading skills. http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/karenchao
