Toothbrushing Nightmare

Updated on April 23, 2008
C.M. asks from Snellville, GA
23 answers

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get a 3-year-old to willingly brush her teeth? She has always hated it, even though I have tried the kiddie tooth brush and letting her pick her own toothpaste. For a while she was doing it herself but lately she has reverted back to her bad habit of absolutely refusing to brush her teeth, covering her mouth, and running away. We just got her potty-trained, does that have something to do with it? Every single morning is a struggle for us and it is wearing me out. I have had to literally hold her, open her mouth and force her to allow me to brush her teeth while she cries and screams the whole time. Freakin' nightmare. PLEASE HELP!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

I have to say it: YOU LADIES ARE THE COOLEST AND THE BEST! Thank you for EVERY SINGLE ONE of those great suggestions. I'm going to go buy an electric toothbrush tomorrow first thing, use the "dentist" ideas, the "treat" ideas, the "your teeth will fall out picture" ideas, and ALL of the rest. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for taking the time to respond and help me out. It is amazing how much calmer I feel just knowing that other people have the same issues and it's not just us being some kind of weird dysfunctional family unit. Thanks for talking me off the ledge. My husband, son, and daughter thank you, too. I'm actually looking forward to trying again. Love, C.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.L.

answers from Atlanta on

My son went through the same thing at that age (he's now 4 1/2). What I did was let him brush my teeth at the same time. That made it fun and he was so into trying to get my teeth cleaned that he didn't even notice that I was brushing his teeth too. Worked like a charm everytime!

-K. L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Columbus on

I got electric toothbrushes for all of my children, 6, 4, and 1. Since that day I do not have to fuss with anyone of them to brush their teeth...they actually want to brush them ALL THE TIME! I hope you find something that works soon, I understand how aggravating it can be.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Hello,
You have been given some good advice but at the age of 3 a child is not going to do a good job with brushing. I work for a dentist who treats children and we advise parents to let their children see them brush their teeth and also get the child(ren) an electric toothbrush because it works better. You may also check this website out and let her play games and watch dental videos. http://www.colgate.com/app/BrightSmilesBrightFutures/US/E...

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I don't think it would have anything to do with potty training. But one thing you could do is give her choices. First ask her if she wants to use this toothpaste or this toothpaste. Wait for her to answer (about 10 seconds), if she doesn't select a choice, then pick for her. Then ask her if she wants to use this toothbrush or that toothbrush. (yes, get her a couple of each) Then wait for her answer (same thing as before). Let her feel like she is in control a bit, but give her choices that you are willing to work with. Ask her if she wants to stand on the step stool or sit on the counter...wait for her to answer. Then ask, would you like to brush your own teeth or me brush your teeth. Hopefully she'll allow you or herself to do this.

Now, let's say that she refuses to brush her teeth after all the above questions. Let it go and then (this may seem harsh, but effective) later on perhaps your husband could go by Dairy Queen and get an ice cream for you and him. She'll want some, but you aren't going to let her have any. You say, very empathetically, 'OH, this is so sad. I let kids who brush their teeth have treats." And leave it at that. If she asks again, be a broken record. Don't get angry. If she cries and throws a tantrum, which any normal child would do in this situation, say, "Uh oh, sounds like you need a little time in your room" and then escort her there. You can then ask her if she wants the door open or closed. Do you see where I'm going here?

The treat should make her want to do it. But if her memory is short lived...try it again with a different treat...candy bar...what ever it is that you know she would like and repeat...I give treats to kids who brush their teeth. No lecturing or explaining. Actions speak louder than words.

www.loveandlogic.com

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.J.

answers from Augusta on

Hi C.,
Have you taken your daughter to the dentist yet? Some may say that it is too early but allot of dentist prefer you to start going in when the teeth start to appear. My son is five now and when he was two, he would give me a hard time but would do it with Daddy. He would let him do it and sometimes he would do it on his own and would copy Daddy.

Daddy is on a carrier right now and both my son and I have gotten lazy about brushing our teeth and on his last visit to the dentist, they did x-rays and found cavities starting to form. Way too little to fill but still there. When the dentist told him what they were and what they were going to do to his teeth, he decided that he needed to know what things had sugar or not. It's been great! He thinks twice about candy and asks me to remind him about what cavities do. He reminds me every night to floss his teeth. I sit on the couch and he lays his head in my lap and I floss them for him. I guess he likes the time we're spending together to make sure the cavities don't grow and take over his teeth. It was a shock when he found out that they would not go away. My daughter is two and she enjoys spitting the water out so we end up brushing three to four times a day. Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.K.

answers from Atlanta on

Sometimes we talk about sugerbugs and how they have to brush them away...I have boys, so when that doesn't work we go into superhero mode and choose there weapons (i.e. toothbrush). Maybe this would work with a Dora concept.

Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi C.,

Your daughter might respond to a song about brushing her teeth, or a story. You may also want to make it a game and let her know that she needs to get those "cavity monsters" off of her teeth and tongue before they make black holes in her teeth, and when she spits you can say " Oh look, there they are, we better get the ones on the other side". You won't have to do it forever, just until she really gets into the habit. It worked for my girls. It takes a while though for them to always want to brush by themselves, so always be there to help out if she would like you to do it. Wish you the best of luck.

Tona w/2

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.R.

answers from Spartanburg on

No time to read previous posts, so I'm sorry if I repeat anything. Our 2-year-old fights us too, even though she picked out her toothbrushes (one for Mommy to use, one for her to use) and toothpaste. We try "sharing" and taking turns. Mommy does one side while baby does the other, then we announce it's time to "SWITCH!" We say AAAAAH when we do the first round (gets you into the back of the mouth), then CHEEEEESE (to get the front and "outside" parts of the teeth). Hope that's somewhat helpful.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

F.N.

answers from Savannah on

Hi. My 3 year old granddaughter is the same way. One thing I must say is that you need to brush her teeth, to ensure that they are brushed correctly then you can hand her the tooth brush and let her "finish". My granddaughter has a kiddie toothbrush and we bought her the "dora" toothpaste. At first she didn't want any toothpaste on her brush and that can be o.k. for a while, just brush with water to get the plaque off but you have to, at some point add the flouride and germ killing aspects to brushing. We started with just using a tiny, tiny bit of "dora" toothpaste. She has been doing fine. Last night, I thought I would use my daughter's toothpaste which is crest gel for children and really does taste good. I put that on and my granddaughter had a fit, covering her mouth, kicking screaming. I brushed them anyway! Then I put a little bit of the "dora" toothpaste and let her finish. she was o.k. finally. So basically, you have to do what you can. Try the empty toothbrush first but also try just a tiny amount (barely rub a little bit of toothpaste on her brush, that she can't really see it) and go from there. Good Luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.R.

answers from Spartanburg on

Have you taken her to the dentist yet? I didn't know, but I didn't take my son until recently-he's 5-and he had 8 cavities, while only having 20 teeth!
What finally got him started was taking him to the store and finding the toothpaste in "his" size-a little case to keep it in-made it "his"-then we had a friend with dentures take his teeth out and we explained that this is what would happen if he didn't continue to brush...
The dentures stunt was a bit much, but we now have NO trouble with brushing teeth-unless my son is extremely tired-then we pick our battles...
Good luck!
C. R.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.W.

answers from Augusta on

C.,

I think it's normal. My daughter did the same thing. Maybe she doesn't like the taste or texture of the tootpaste. Even the kiddie toothpaste is sometimes undesireable. Just keep reminding her how important it is to brush her teeth and she will eventually get the picture. I use to tell my daughter that the children at school were going to smell her breath and may not want to be aroung her because of it. It was kind of a scare tactic, but it worked. I also had problems with her wanting to take a bath. Got past that too. They are children. They want to see how much they can get away with.

M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.H.

answers from Charleston on

Hi C.!

My daughter is 2 years and 1 month old. She started to lose interest in brushing about 2 months ago. So, I took her to Wal-mart and let her pick out her own electric toothbrush. She picked out the Hello Kitty (she loves kitties) electric toothbrush and she loves to "brush" her teeth now. The electric brush does most of the work and her teeth are beautiful! Good luck! D. H

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.L.

answers from Atlanta on

an electric toothbrush always works for us, even if he doesn't brush long, he gets a lot out of it (we chose sonicare, figure it costs more but will save us in the long run). they also make electric ones that play music in their head when the toothbrush hits their teeth. Sounds weird to me, but if it works..

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.P.

answers from Atlanta on

I agree with Donna, too. We went through this with our now 4 1/2-year-old when she was about 3. I would ask her if she wanted her teeth to rot out of her mouth. I showed her pictures of people's mouthes who hadn't taken good care of their teeth (thank you Google image search!). The shock effect worked. For some reason, this is one of those things that almost EVERY kid does. It's a power struggle. So, when Donna was saying let her think she's in control, it's GREAT advice. Good luck, Momma!!!
~S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.A.

answers from Savannah on

i believe you shouldnt force her she may look at toothbrushing as apunishment. Kids well at least mine does , go in and out, they are new at this, it takes time and she wil become everything u are tryin to instill in her on her time, you have to remember she is her own and its her world, my 3yearold thinks shes the center of existence. With my own we let her pick her own toothbrush, toothpaste, stool etc , we purchased dixie cups with her theme.. pretty much we made toothbrushing her world for her so she infact makes it part of her daily habit. Ive found patience and consistency make raise a toddler a bit less stressful. Dont loose your head being a parent is the greatest thing to happen to anyone.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.A.

answers from Atlanta on

You probably already tried this, but what about an electric toothbrush? sticker reward chart? Or "you have two choices... no books and straight to bed or we'll brush your teeth and have books" (that one works in my house). Also a trip to the dentist and hearing the hygenist or dentist tell her (3 is the right age most dentists start with little ones around here) might work. After her trip to the dentist, call a friend she is unfamiliar with and have him (or her) pretend to be the dentist and authoritarily (?) instruct her to brush her teeth. I've seen that work with kids who won't take medicine, but will listen to the doctor.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Try different flavored toothpaste.

Buy videos and/or books talking about brushing teeth or a trip to the dentist.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.N.

answers from Charleston on

When my soon to be 4yr old refuses, I take things away from her that mean the most to her. Like her princess dress, a blanket or somthing that she is playing with. Other things that work for me, is if we need to run errands, I say ok I am leaving, but your not coming bc you did not brush your teeth. That one seems to work the best for me. Also to get her to brush her teeth, I will tell her, your teeth will turn black and fall out, and then you cant eat blueberries, cookies, pasta, ect. I do not believe it to be related to potty training, just a control issue. good luck to you both

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

F.B.

answers from Atlanta on

With our three kids we would make it into a game by asking them if their teeth were ticklish. Then we would tickle their teeth. This would sometimes work when they were being stubborn about not wanting to brush.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi C.,

Donna's right on. The only way is for her to know that she HAS to brush her teeth every day no matter what and it is connected to all sorts of good things. We all know what kind of bad things will happen later if she doesn't but she can't grasp that now.

I will also add that one of the toothbrushes should be battery operated. They do a lot of work and can clean more efficiently especially since she is fighting the effort. she won't have to spend as long with it and may encourage her to do it more often.

God bless!

M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.K.

answers from Atlanta on

Try letting her brush without toothpaste. The brushing action actually does most of the work anyway, and if that's all it takes to get her to brush, I'd go for it...at least for now until she gets in the habit.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Maybe let her get back out of bed to go do it so she will feel like she is getting to stall... Maybe just do the night one until you can get her to talk to you about whether she doesn't like it or not or what the problem is. Maybe she is stalling going somewhere- daycare? Preschool? Not sure...

Also can you let her try doing it without the toothpaste so see if it is that part she hates and then work up to trying different flavors. Maybe try those brush ups finger things...I am just trying to throw any ideas out there.

Good luck- sorry I am not much help, b/c my boys both love it!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I tried the pictures and now both my kids are brushing their teeth EVERY DAY!!!!:-)

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions